December 26th

Johnny urgently jogged up the wooden steps, his footfalls echoing into the darkened silence, until he reached her front door. He drew in breath, his hand trembling as he reached out and timidly knocked on the door.

No answer.

Desperately he knocked again, this time ensuring he did so louder. Muffled footsteps and a faint ‘ow’ could be heard from behind the door. A fond smile tugged at his lips as he pictured Annabelle trip over the frayed and decaying rug – the very one he had bought when she had first moved in 5 years ago.

The door was suddenly cracked open and out stepped Annabelle. Johnny froze, his heart iced over as he beheld the woman before her. She was a mess. Her eyes were red and puffy, cheeks red and blotchy. Loose strands of maroon hair limply fell into her face. He bit his cheek, his heart clenching as he realised that he had caused all of it.

“J-Johnny?” She rubbed her eyes, not believing the sight before her. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

Johnny inhaled, hoping that the cool Californian air would give him the courage he needed. “We. I. Uh, can I come in?”

He fumbled over his words, unsure of where to begin. How was he going to tell her? How was he going to spill his heart, let her know how he felt? He wasn’t like her, he couldn’t open up to her, let her in, but deep down, if he wanted to keep her, he had to. He would find the words, one way or another.

She hesitated, her puffy, pale-blue eyes roaming over his face looking for something. Finally, she sighed and stepped back, opening the door wider so he could come in. Johnny gladly rushed into the house, hands buried deep in his pockets.

“What do you want?” Annabelle slammed the door shut and turned to face him, her arms tightly crossed across her chest.

He flinched at her harsh tone. He deserved it, after all, after what he had done earlier. “Can we talk?”

Annabelle gaped at the man before her. He must be joking! She furiously thought to herself. This had to be a joke. It had to!

“I have nothing to say to you,” she snarled.

“Belle,” Johnny began, calling her by his nickname for her. He was the only one to do so. Secretly she loved it, she loved the way the ‘b’ rolled off his lips – lips she had spent hours staring at. She loved how natural it sounded, coming from him.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her thoughts away. “You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

“Belle, come on, I’m sorry!” Johnny took a hesitant step towards her, wanting, needing to hold his best friend.

“Don’t!” She flinched away from him. She wouldn’t, couldn’t let him touch her.

An Awkward silence fell between the two, something which rarely happened in the 6 years of their friendship. After a moment of intense awkwardness and eye contact avoidance, Annabelle sighed. She couldn’t take it any longer.

“Johnny, you-”

“Annabelle, I love you!” Johnny urgently spat the words out, knowing this was possibly his last chance to tell the girl of his dreams that he loved her. Secretly, he had always loved her, he just never wanted to admit it.

A harsh, cruel laugh befall her lips. Was he kidding? After everything he had done! Who the hell did he think he was!

“Don’t you fucking dare, Seward!” she could taste the bitterness role off her tongue.

A cold hand gripped hold of Johnny’s heart, his stomach knotted. No, no, no, no! His mind screamed at him. How could she not believe him? She had to believe him. He opened his mouth, his amber eyes wide and doe-like.

Annabelle didn’t want to hear more. Her heart had taken all that it could already. She had no more room for anymore heartbreak. She just wanted to be alone. She needed to be alone. Johnny had left a hollow hole in her heart, a hole that would never be filled. How could it when the very man she loved, the man of her dreams, couldn’t – wouldn’t love her back. Sure, he had said ‘I love you’ but it was Johnny… She knew he would do just about anything to keep her.

Gathering up the courage she needed, she opened the front door once and gestured to it. “Just leave.”

“No.”

“Please, I-I can’t, won’t do this with you,” she was never one to beg, never had been but right there, right now, in that very moment, Annabelle couldn’t help it. “Please.”

Johnny ran a hand down his face, desperation burned a hole in his heart. A hole only she would be able to fill. A sudden urge overcame him. Without thinking twice, he rushed forward and swooped her into his arms. If words couldn’t convince her, then maybe actions would.

“Wha-”

He cut her off, his lips meeting hers. She froze under him, unsure of what to do. She had always dreamed of kissing him, wondering how he would taste, feel against her chapped lips. She had played it, over and over again in her mind, always imagining the perfect kiss. But right then, right there in that moment, with his lips pressed against hers, she realised that right now, that was the perfect kiss.

She relaxed into his arms and allowed herself to get lost in the moment. She allowed herself to get lost in the sincere passion of his kiss. She allowed his love – for he truly did love her – to wash over her.

“I love you, Belle,” Johnny broke the kiss a moment later, his breath hot on her face.
“I suppose I always have and I know, I know what I did earlier, running away like that… when you told me… I know I hurt you and I’m so sorry. I needed to clear my head. I needed to think. Fuck I was such an idiot for running away like that! Fuck, if, if it wasn’t for Jimmy…” he trailed off, remembering how his best friend, his brother, had nearly beaten the sense into him, had helped him realise just how much Annabelle truly meant to him. “Belle, don’t leave. I need you. Fuck. I don’t know what I’d do without you!”

“Shut up and kiss me,” all anger had vanished. Instead, in its wake Annabelle felt something she had never felt before – love. Tears were stubbornly trailing down her cheek, her jawline, wetting the collar of her top.

“Belle, please don’t cry!” He seemed frantic, afraid. Haphazardly, he attempted to wipe the tears away, clearly distraught. He never meant to make her cry.

“They’re happy tears you idiot!” she giggled, sniffling as she did so.

He heaved a sigh of relief, a goofy smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Belle?”

She gazed up at him, her a soft light twinkled in her pale-blue eyes. “Yeah?”

“Be my girl?”

Her heart squeezed. How long she had dreamed to hear him ask her, and here he was doing exactly that. A wide grin spread across her face, a smile Johnny would always remember. He held his breath and waited.

“Yes.”

Notes

My sincere apologies for this crappy oneshot! Just bare with me, it'll get better. I'm really excited for the one I will be posting in 2 days... so keep your eyes open, but for now, enjoy.

Orignially, I had planned to post Johnny's one shot on the 27th but the one shot I had wanted to poset today, well its kind of giving me trouble in the sense that I haven't written it yet - well I've started but damnit, trying to find some way to make it Christmassy is ridiculously hard...

C.H. Sullivan

Title Cred: Young Guns - Memento Mori