The One Who Was Taught To Survive

Four hours later, back at the apartment, we were all sitting around on the floor of the living room laughing at Jimmy’s drunkness. “I’m going to fucking be a ninja fucking knife master and it’s going to be fucking amazing.” He said doing a karate move while sitting down.

I was beyond tipsy and was so calm it was scary, “Fuck yeah, Jimmy.” I told him as I took another drink of my Jack and coke. The guys had stopped to pick up cola so we wouldn’t use the Jack Daniels so fast and fuck it didn’t matter, the bottle was almost gone. I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes, the alcohol beginning to work its magic.

I felt someone sit next to me and I opened my eyes seeing Dimples next to me, “You alright?” He said softly and I noticed the others had relocated to Jimmy’s bedroom.

I nodded, “Yeah, where’d everyone go?” I asked as his soft, kind eyes assessed mine carefully.

“They’re in smoking a joint, I didn’t feel like it, so I decided to sit out here with you, if that’s okay,” He said with a small smile.

I nodded, “That’s fine.” I paused for a second as we sat in a halfway comfortable silence, “Thank-you for you guys basically welcoming me with open arms.”

He flashed his dimples at me, “Of course, what kind of fine young men would we be if we didn’t?”

I snorted a laugh, “Yes, you boys are the most upstanding young men I’ve ever met.” Sarcasm dripping from every word as I teased him.

He laughed, “Well I suppose you got me there.” I giggled and took another drink of my jack and coke.

“Where are we all gonna sleep?” I asked looking around the small living room, knowing that there’s no way all of us would fit in here.

“Well, usually Jimmy and Brian will share the bedroom,” he started to explain.

“Wait, Brian and Jimmy are…” I trailed off curiously.

This made Matt bark out in laughter, “No, nothing like that. They’re literally just best friends and they can handle sleeping in a bed without cuddling up to each other. The rest of us end up cuddled up with Jimmy.”

“Ooooh,” I teased jokingly.

“Not like that,” Matt laughed shaking his head, “Jimmy’s just a cuddle monster, as you have surely noticed.”

I smiled slightly, “I think that’s part of his charm.”

“Yeah,” Matt smiled nodding his head, “It is. Jim’s a good guy. However, most of us aren’t really into cuddling with other guys unless it’s an occasional hug or something like that.”

I smiled, “So where will you three and I sleep?”

“Out here,” Matt gestured to the living room, “Although, short shit will probably sleep in on the kitchen floor.”

I laughed, “You’re so mean to Johnny.” I had noticed throughout the night the guys had literally picked on him for being the youngest and shortest of the group.

“We are,” he admitted laughing. “But, you were too.”

I laughed and blushed, “I was, wasn’t I?” I finished off my Jack and Coke before I set my cup down and looked over at Matt and shivered.

“Cold?” He asked me shrugging out of his jacket.

“Yeah,” I said softly as he put his jacket around my shoulders. I pulled it close taking in his scent, the smell of alcohol and axe hit my nose and it instantly felt as though I had taken a hit of weed.

He smiled at me as I seemed to find the warmth soothing, “So tell me a bit about you?” It was more of a request than a demand.

I shrugged slightly, “What do you want to know?” Again, like I had with Jimmy I felt…safe with Matt.

“What brings you out to California?” he asked carefully, making sure to watch for any signs of discomfort.

I sat there for a few moments silently, he didn’t rush me; he sat patiently watching my face, and when I was drunk I showed all of my emotions. It was like the masks failed whenever there was something that kept me numb. “Well, I ran away from home.”

“Why’d you do that?” He asked softly.

“My step dad beat me,” I said lifting up my shirt a little and showing him the bruises. “And he molested me from the time I was 12 until I was 14. The only reason he stopped is because I threatened to bite his dick off.”

“Son of a bitch,” Matt muttered under his breath and wrapped a protective arm around me.

“My mom,” I let out an unamused laugh. “My mom let it happen. She knows about the abuse and the molestation and says that I was trying to steal him away from her. So I deserved the punishment he gave me.” I felt tears slowly building in my eyes. Fuck, I’ve never told anyone this I thought to myself.

Matt shook his head as he pulled me closer, “No one will ever lay a hand on you while I’m around or any of us for that matter. I’ll kill any motherfucker that does. You’re part of our family now.”

I looked up at him confused, “You guys are related?”

He shook his head, “No, but we are literally best friends and have been since middle school. We’re each just different enough that we each bring something to the group.”

I nodded in understanding and somewhat cuddled up to Matt, I didn’t know if anything would come of our friendship, but I was damn sure glad that I had the opportunity to be apart of this group. “Awww look at the couple!” Brian teased as he and the others rejoined us in the living room.

“Shut the fuck up man, she was cold,” Matt defended. I tried to move away from him due to embarrassment but he kept me close.

“Sure she was, sure you’re not trying to make a move?” Zacky joined in on the teasing. “Jimbo, he’s trying to steal your girl.”

Jimmy’s eyes went wide before he made the puppy face at me, “You’re leaving me?”

I laughed and shook my head patting the spot next to me for Jimmy to sit. “Well thank-you my lady,” Johnny said sitting down before Jimmy had the chance.

“Short shit you better get your fucking ass out of my spot. That’s MINE!” Jimmy yelled standing with his hands on his hips. I winced at his yelling and felt Matt squeeze my shoulder.

“No.” Johnny stated with a smirk and rested his hand on my thigh. I know he meant it innocently but it bugged me and I somewhat tensed up, freaking out. I immediately jumped up and stood in the middle of the room as all the guys looked at me, only two weren’t confused.

Matt stood up quickly slowly moving towards me, “NO!”

“Easy River,” Jimmy said softly. I had my hands in fists, knuckles to my head.

Suddenly I wasn’t in the room with the guys anymore:

“You like that you little bitch? You like seeing your mother so fucking upset by your incompetent ass?” I flew into the floor after his hand collided with my face. I clinched my teeth knowing if I made a sound or cried out that it’d get worse. “You need to learn that you’re not in charge here. This is my fucking house. You hear that? MY FUCKING HOUSE” He yelled before picking me up by my hair and punching my stomach. I flinched as he then hit my back, he didn’t care what part of my body he connected with as long as he delivered the blow. “Fucking worthless piece of shit. Need to have respect for your fucking elders. Quit being a stupid little whore and clean yourself up.” He threw me to the ground.

I felt someone shaking my shoulders trying to get my attention, I had tears rolling down my cheeks as I flashed back into the living room. Matt was in front of me as I knelt on the floor, I instantly latched onto him. “Shh, you’re safe.” He whispered holding me close.

“The fuck was that about?” Brian asked as all the guys looked at me concerned.

I closed my eyes embarrassed and even though all of them seemed to be caring, I didn’t want them to know my issues. I didn’t want anyone to know what I battled. “Can I tell them?” Matt asked quietly.

I really didn’t have the choice now, they all needed to know. So I nodded at both him and Jimmy. Jimmy seemed surprised that I’d told Matt. “She came to California to get away from her step-father who beat and raped her, and to get away from her mom who watched and let it happen.”

“So what was the freak out for? We didn’t do it,” Johnny said confused.

“It honestly seems like she has PTSD Johnny,” Zacky stated matter of factly looking at me curiously for me to admit it.

I hesitated and shrugged, “I don’t know. I’ve never been in therapy for it, I just…sometimes get confused on where I’m at. I wasn’t here anymore.”

Matt gently rubbed my back as I faced the guys, Jimmy knelt next to me, “I’m sorry River.”

I nodded looking in his eyes, “It isn’t your fault Jimmy. You didn’t know to the extent that the abuse went.” He nodded and apologetically hugged me to him.

Notes