Getting to know my mother was wonderful. She was a whole new person I had never met before, not that I remember anyway. She was funny and eccentric, we had the same taste in music. I wondered what my life would have been like if this version of her would have been around. She didn’t even have to stay married to my dad, she just had to be around.

The more we talked, the more she found out about Zack and eventually, she asked to meet him. This was a weird concept for me because I never had a boyfriend that I talked about with my parents, even when my dad was still alive. I dated boys, sure, but none of them wanted to meet my dad and my dad never asked to meet any of them. Zack was the first guy I dated that I felt proud of. So, I invited him over for dinner one night. If Zack was nervous, you couldn’t tell. He held a conversation with my mom perfectly. I mostly watched as they talked about everything, she even seemed interested in his band and congratulated him on getting signed.

After dinner, Zack kissed me goodnight and then thirty minutes later he climbed through my bedroom window like he had started doing since I got grounded.

“Dinner went perfectly, didn’t it?” I asked him after I shut my door turned on some music. Mom was in the shower, but I didn’t want to risk getting caught.

“Baby,” Zack had started, sitting me down on the bed. “I want you to be careful, okay? I know things seem great right now, I just don’t want you to get your hopes up. If she starts using again, she’ll go back to being the deadbeat she once was.”

The days passed, and before I knew it, it was graduation day. Eli was still gone, mom was still great and everything seemed perfect.

Val ran up to me, she was smiling and already had her graduation gown on. “Today’s the big day!”

“Oh, I’ve waited so long for this day!” I exclaimed. “No more getting up ridiculously early to learn about algorithms.”

“You’re damn right about that,” she laughed as she linked arms with me and we searched for our boys.

We found them and the others outside the school, cigarettes tucked between a few of their lips. A few of them wore their gowns already, some wore only their caps while the others let their gowns rest on the ground beside them. Zack saw me approach and began digging in his pocket. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and handed it to me along with his lighter, smiling. I smirked before taking the cigarette out of his mouth instead.

“They just taste so much better when they’re yours,” I tell him before taking a drag.

“Did your mom say if you could go to the party tonight?” Michelle asked me.

I nodded. “Well, she didn’t exactly say it, but I’m going to ask her after the ceremony. I brought my clothes if she says yes. Can I get ready at your house?”

Michelle and Val nod. “Friends that get ready together, stay together,” they both laugh.

“You can come get ready at my house,” Zack winked at me.

I smiled at him and wrapped my arm around his waist. “Yeah, right. Your parents hate me.”

Zack threw his head back in a laugh. “I’ve told you time and time again, they don’t hate you. I’ve gotten in trouble with the cops plenty of times, they get over it.”

I laughed and turned to Val. “Are you sure you want to go on the road with these boys?
They’re going to be like five grown children you have to take care of.”

Val grinned. “You’re right. I could totally use some help. Zack says you don’t know what you’re doing after today. You can’t stick around that café for the rest of your life. Why don’t you come with me? We could use your help.”

“What?” I ask. “You guys aren’t going?” I looked at Michelle to Lacey, then Leana.

They shook their heads. Michelle decided to go to UCLA, she wanted to get a degree in business. Lacey was going to spend a year abroad with her parents and Leana hadn’t decided what she was going to do, yet, but was also thinking about going to college.

“So, what do you say?” Val asked.

I looked at Zack, who was smiling at me, then to each of the guys. I didn’t turn eighteen for another ninety-two days, but they still had to record the record. “Okay,” I tell them. “I’m in.”

Cheers erupt, and Val brings me into a hug followed by the rest of the band. Zack was the last one to embrace me. “Are you sure about this?” he asks me in my ear.

I take a moment to think about it and then nod. “Yeah,” I tell him confidently. If I wasn’t going to follow the life my dad wanted me to lead, I might as well spend it with my best friends.

“Graduates, please line up for the processional!” Someone announced over the intercom.

“Oh my, God! It’s time!” Michelle squeals as she links her arm with mine, Val takes my other arm.

“Bye boys and girls!” Val smiled.

“See you on the other side of the stage!” Michelle called over her shoulder as she marched us up towards the front of the line.

Michelle and Val let go of me once they found their spot in line and I continue forward. I get in my spot and a few seconds later Zack walks up to me, fully gowned.

“Look how cute you look,” I grin.

Zack shakes his head. “I feel fucking ridiculous.”

I knew graduating high school wasn’t a priority to Zack or any of his bandmates, but I was still proud of every one of them. “Nah, I definitely want a picture of this.”

“Hmm, we’ll see. It depends on what you give me in return,” he flirted.

I nibble on my lip before kissing him. Before I could deepen the kiss, however, we were interrupted. “Baker, line, now,” one of the teachers demanded.

Zack pulled away, smirking. “We’ll continue this later,” he tells me.

“Don’t trip,” I call as he makes his way up to the B’s.

Soon, we march in. Teachers and students do their speeches and then finally, it’s time for the walk across the stage. I almost cried when I saw Zack walk across the stage. When he got to the end of the stage, he found me in the crowd and stuck his tongue out at me before returning to his seat. I was next out of our group, I posed for the photo at the end of the stage and then searched the crowd for Zack. When my eyes found him, I noticed he was beaming at me. I took my seat a few rows behind him and he turned in his seat and winked at me. He didn’t turn back around to the stage until the announcer got to Michelle and then Valary.

Before I knew it, we were throwing our caps in the air. I successfully caught mine and then turned to the sea of people around me searching for my friends. My eyes caught Michael Taylor’s and he instantly looked away from me. I hadn’t had a problem with him since the night at the bar and was thankful. He always seemed to not see me when we were around each other, which I thought was hilarious.
Brian was the first to reach me. He draped his long arm around my shoulders. “We did it!”

“No more school! No more homework! It’s all smooth sailing from here,” I laughed.

Brian shrugged. “Actually, I’m going to go ahead and attend the Musicians Institute while we work on our album. Maybe I can figure out something while we tour, too.”

“What?” I ask, completely surprised. “Brian that’s awesome! Congratulations!”

“What’s awesome?” Michelle asked, finally joining us.

“Brian just told me he’s going to go to the Musicians Institute!” I grinned.

Michelle beamed as Brian pulled her into a one-armed hug. She rests her hand on his chest.
“I know, isn’t it great? I am so proud of him!”

“Well,” Brian said nonchalantly, “it’ll only make me a better musician for the band, so…”

“Ah, he must be talking about being Mr. College Boy,” I hear behind us. Zack is walking up, grinning.

“Well, what about you?” I asked as he kissed my cheek. “Are you going?”

“Nah,” he shrugged. “Who knows what college is going to do to his ego. As if it’s not big enough.”

Brian laughed. “Oh, whatever!”

Parents and family members began to make their way into the crowd of graduates. Mr. and Mrs. Haner got there first and after dragging their son away, Michelle decided to go find her sister and their parents. My mom reached us next. She smiled at me as she made her way through the crowd and pulled me into a hug.

“Oh, Sheridan! I am absolutely so proud of you,” she told me. “Your father would be so proud of you.”

I felt myself tear up as we parted. “Thank you, mom. I wish he was here.”

She nods. “I know.” She turns to Zack as I blink away the tears. “Zack, congratulations,” she smiles, pulling him into a hug.

“Thank you,” he tells her as they part.

“Mom, the party is in a few hours. Is it okay if I go?” I ask her.

She doesn’t answer immediately but then nods. “Okay, fine, but I want some pictures of you before you run off, okay? You too, Zack.” She begins digging in her purse for her camera.

I heard Zack groan beside me and I took his hand. “Looks like I’m going to get those pictures of you in your cap and gown after all.” I grin.

“Oh, you so owe me,” he laughed wrapping his arm around my waist as we posed for the first photo.

After a few photos, mom hands me the camera. “I bought a two pack. That one is almost full, so take this one too and take lots of pictures tonight but also don’t forget to have fun. We will go get the film developed Monday.”

“Okay,” I tell her taking the other disposable camera. Zack jerked his head to his left and I saw his parents and siblings making their way over. Zack joined them, and mom took me into another hug.


“I have a date tonight, so if I’m not home when you get home, don’t worry,” Mom tells me.

“A date with who?” I ask curiously.

Mom shrugs. “I guess one of the fathers? I met him during the ceremony. We’re supposed to go get dinner.”

“Alright,” I chuckle. “You have fun then, too. I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Sounds great,” she tells me before pulling me into another hug. I watch her walk away for a moment before turning around. Zack was still with his parents I stood in the crowd awkwardly, debating whether or not I should join them. Before I could decide, however, Zack
was calling me over.

“Sheridan, congratulations,” his father smiled at me as I approached.

I grin shyly. “Thank you.”

“I don’t think he would have done it without you,” his mother told me.

Zack shrugged. “She’s right. I would have dropped out as soon as I got that letter from the label.”

“Weeks before graduation? No, you wouldn’t have.” I laugh.

“Well, what are your plans for tonight?” His dad asked us.

“There’s this huge party out on the beach,” Zack told them. “So, we’re just going to do that.”

Zina, looking apologetic, interrupts. “I have to get to work,” she tells us. “And I didn’t drive here.”

“Zack, are you riding with us?” Mr. Baker asked.

Zack nodded. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

Mrs. Baker nods. “Well, congratulations, Sheridan. It was nice seeing you.”

“Thank you, you too,” I tell her as she hugs me and then starts to walk away.

“I told you they didn’t hate you,” Zack smiled at me before kissing my cheek. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours, okay?”

“Okay,” I tell him. He winks at me one more time before jogging to catch up with his parents and I search for Val and Michelle.

---

The problem with getting ready with two other girls is the fact that there aren’t enough mirrors in the house, which inevitably made us late for the party. When we finally arrived, the beach was packed and it was dark out. Tiki torches were set up on the beach along with a huge bonfire which supplied light. Music played loudly and there were dozens of ice chests placed strategically around the beach.

Michelle and Val instantly ran off in the same direction and I began searching for Zack. First, I found an ice chest with beer in it. I pulled out whatever my hand touched first and cracked it open, bringing it to my lips. I weaved in and out of the crowd for several minutes before I saw him. He was with Gena, talking. I furrowed my brows as I watched her throw her head back in a laugh and caress his arm. He was laughing too while he brought his beer to his lips.

“Hey,” I interrupt, making my way towards them. Gena’s hand drops from Zack's arm and he approaches me.

“It’s about time,” he smiles, kissing my arm. “What’s wrong?”

In the distraction, Gena sauntered off. “What was all that about?” I asked, trying to keep my voice as casual as I could, but the jealousy definitely seeped through.

“What was all what about?”

I scoff. “Gena was clearly flirting with you.”

Zack shook his head. “We were congratulating each other,” he explained. “We are friends, you know.”

“She still loves you,” I countered.

Zack didn’t reply right away. He wet his lips before looking down, took a deep breath and then looked back up at me. “Yeah, she does.”

I felt the pit in my stomach begin to grow. I don’t know why I was expecting him to deny it, I knew it was true but now it was out in the open air. It made me uncomfortable and insecure. I couldn’t do anything but nod.

“But I’m in love with you,” Zack continues. “You have nothing to worry about. Do you think I would’ve gotten this tattoo if I still had even a sliver of feelings for her? You’re the only one I want.” He presses his forehead against mine and I close my eyes. I feel him brush my hair behind my ear and he rests that same hand on the back of my head. “I promise,” he tells me.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I don’t know why I got so jealous.”

“It’s okay,” he grins. “We all get insecure sometimes…well, I mean, I don’t but you know…other people do.”

I laugh shake my head. “Sounds like you’re already getting that ego you said Brian was going to get.”

“Where are those assholes, anyway?” Zack wondered, looking around the crowd.

“I don’t know,” I replied. “I didn’t see them when I got here.”

“Hmm,” Zack takes my hand. “Let’s go find them then.”

Zack and I walk around the crowd in search for our friends and I pull my camera out of my bag, so I would remember to take photos. Soon, we find part of our group. Michelle, Brian, Jimmy, and Leanna are standing in a circle close to the water. The closer we get, the more we can smell the pot.

“Oh, where the fuck was the invite?” Zack asked as we stepped into the circle.

Jimmy laughed and handed him the joint. “Where the fuck have you guys been?”

“Looking for you assholes,” Zack said as he took a drag, then he handed it to me.

“Where are the others?” I ask before bringing the joint to my lips.

Brian took the joint from me. “I haven’t seen Matt at all. I think Val went to his house to see if he’s there. And we told Johnny no kids were allowed.”

Leanna laughs. “He and Lacey are playing beer pong, I think.”

We spend the next few minutes cracking jokes and laughing. After a while, we’re interrupted again when Matt and Val ran up, smiling ear to ear. “Guys! Guess who I just got off the phone with!”

“Who?” we asked in unison.

“The fucking guy from Chain Reaction! We’re in! We have a 6:30 time slot on the second Friday of June!”

“What?” everyone erupted.

“Holy shit!”

“Are you serious?!”

“Fuck yeah!”

Everyone high-fived and hugged and kissed. It was a celebration on top of a celebration. The drinking got heavier, and no one at the party was happier than the five guys. I was so incredibly proud of each and every one of them. They worked so hard and they were only going up.

I began to feel really drunk and decided to pull Zack to the side, alone, before I got too drunk to give him his graduation present.

“Baby, I didn’t get you anything,” he told me as I dug into my bag searching for the gift.

I shrug. “I don’t need anything. You’re always surprising me with things and I wanted to surprise you with something.”

“Fine,” he grinned and I pulled out the gift. Zack took it from me and read what it was. When he realized, his eyes grew. “Sheridan, how did you get these?”

“Two tickets to see NOFX at Warped Tour. You’re welcome,” I grin.

Zack grinned too. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I tell him. “It’s in Fresno, so we will have to make a road trip but I think it’ll be worth it.”

“Oh, it’ll definitely be worth it,” he tells me. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I tell him as he leans in to kiss me.

The kiss is slow, at first but progressed into something much hotter. Zack pulls me in close to him and his fingers find my skin beneath my shirt. My body ached for him again. Zack and I had successfully had sex a couple of times since we got back from Vegas and I couldn’t get enough of it. I was about to pull away from him and suggest going back to my house since I knew mom was out on that date, but before I could there was a sudden commotion in the crowd.

Zack pulled away from me and looked in the direction of the crowd. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I replied. Zack grabbed my hand and we made our way through the mass amounts of people.

When we’re almost near the front of the crowd when I saw what the commotion was about. “Sheridan Louise Davis! Get your ass out here right now!”

It was an instantly sobering moment. Everything moved in slow motion and I let go of Zack’s hand, slowly moving forward to the front of the crowd.

“Mom?”

“Oh, there’s the little slut!” She calls.

“What…what’s going on?” I asked.

Mom marched up to me and grabbed me by the hair. “You know your fucking ass was grounded!”

“Ow! Let go of me!” I yell, attempting to push her off me. “You knew I was coming here! You said it was okay! You…you…you used again, didn’t you?!”

Her hand came across my cheek so hard I tasted the iron immediately. “Hey, what the fuck?!” Zack yelled pushing to the front of the crowd. He pulled me into his arms.

“Don’t you fucking touch her, you filthy little prick!” Mom yelled, grabbing my arm, and yanking me from him.

“Mom! Stop, you’re not yourself,” I cried. “What did you take? Was it coke? Are you high? Were you drinking?”

“How dare you!” She yelled. “Get in the car!”

“No!”

“Sheridan, get your ass in the car or so help me God!” Mom threatened.

I shook my head, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. “No. You shouldn’t be driving.”

She cackled. “Don’t you dare tell me what I should and should not be doing, you little whore!”

“Ma’am,” Matt stepped forward. If I wasn’t completely distressed, I would have probably laughed at Matt using the word. “My name is Matt. I was late to the party, so I haven’t had much to drink. My girlfriend’s car is right up the street. I would be more than happy to give you and Sheridan a ride home.”

I almost saw fire come from my mother’s nose. “Sheridan – car – now!”

Zack reached for me. “Sheridan, don’t get in that car.”

I looked at him and then back at Matt and to the crowd behind us. I shook my head. “I’ll be fine,” I tell him as bravely as I could.

“Sheridan,” Zack begged.

I gently tugged my arm from his grasp. “I’ll call you in the morning.”

Mom laughed again. “Oh, you think you’re going to have phone privileges? Your brother was right!” I walk past her and towards her car in the distant – the driver's side door was left wide open. “You just think you can do whatever you want when you want! You think you’re fucking grown!”

I ignore her as I get in the car. Part of the crowd is still staring in our direction, the others went back to partying. Mom gets in the driver’s side, still ranting and I pull on my seat belt. “I should have fucking sent you away instead of Eli,” she tells me as she starts the car.

I wipe my eyes. I was stupid to think her sobriety would last. I was stupid to think that we could ever have a real relationship. Mom starts speeding down the road. She weaves in and out of traffic before she turns onto a neighborhood street.

“Mom, slow down!” I yell.

She looks over at me and glares before speeding up. “Oh, are you the boss now?!”

“You’re being ridiculous!” I yell. “At least put your seatbelt on!”

She speeds around a corner, nearly hitting a pedestrian. “Shut the fuck up!”

“You’re going to kill somebody!” I cry.

“I’ve been driving a lot longer than you’ve been born, you ungrateful little bitch!” She speeds up again.

“I’m sorry!”

“Your father did a terrible job raising you!”

“Don’t you fucking talk about him!”

She sped up. “I’m going to beat the fuck out of you when we get home.”

“Mom, stop!”

“You will not talk to me like that again, do you hear me?”

“Slow down!”

“Eli was right about you all along!”

“Oh my God! Watch out for that –”

Crash.

Notes

Two more chapters left!!! Thank you for reading!!

Thank you countzackula6661 for commenting on the previous chapter!

Title credit: Madina Lake “Morning Sadness” (altered line)