Huntington Beach High School wasn’t all that bad. It wasn’t bad at all, actually. The classes were okay. Most of the students were nice and during the lunch hour, we were allowed to leave campus, though I never really did. I would eat my lunch in the cafeteria and devote my time studying or getting a head start on homework. I'm not as much of a nerd or dweeb as I seem. I only spend a large chunk of my spare time studying or doing school work because I only have one year to get my grade point average up. I highly doubt I will get into an ivy league school like my father had hoped, but I knew I wanted to get into college somewhere. I fucked up so much in the last few years; I just wanted to make him proud of me again, even if he was gone.

Dads funeral was three weeks ago, and I’ve been in Huntington Beach for over two of those weeks. I started school immediately but haven’t been social enough to make any friends. It’s because of that reason that these have been the loneliest sixteen days of my life. I missed my dad, my friends back home and my life before things turned awry. I was just too exhausted to start over. Not to mention, life was just too complicated for a social life right now.

I was still getting used to my party animal mother and creepy brother. I kept my bedroom door locked every second I was home, whether my mom was there or not. Eli made his first move after I had just been here for a few days. I cried myself to sleep and when I woke up, I was no longer in my bed alone. He didn’t rape me, I think he just wanted to see how far he could get until I woke up, but I wasn’t stupid enough to think he wouldn’t try again.

I gather my binder and books as the final bell rings. I exit the classroom with the rest of my classmates and head straight to my locker, trading out books for more books. Afterward, I make my way out of the school and into the sea of students heading in different directions. While nibbling on my lip, I look to one direction and then to another. The first direction would take me home, and the second would take me to the beach. I shifted my book bag across my shoulder before strolling in the direction the would lead me to the ocean. I liked to go there and study. The beach was one of the very first places I visited when I arrived here. Coming from a landlocked state, I had never seen the ocean before. The water that stretched on and on as far as the eye could see mesmerized me as it welcomed me with open arms. Not only was it refreshing, but it was relaxing.

It was easy to lose time at the beach. The sky turned from a perfect blue to a perfect mix of pinks, purples, blues, and oranges. My stomach rumbled as I gathered my belongings and dusted the sand off my jeans and began the walk home. It wasn’t far, but still, I wished I had a car. I needed to get one, especially if I was going to get away from here once I turned eighteen. First, I needed to get a job to afford a car and its expenses. I’ve never had a job before, dad always wanted me to focus all my time on school work, getting A’s and preparing a future for myself. So, instead, he gave me an allowance…which I spent on alcohol, razor blades and ruining the last few years I had left with him. I wasn’t going to do that here, though. I was going to get a job so I could better my life, so I could be the person he wanted me to be. Plus, getting a job meant more time away from my brother.

The unpleasant smell of something burning hits me as soon as I walk into the house. My nose tugs, scrunching, as I make my way into the kitchen. Smoke floods out as I swing the door open, and my mom is standing at the stove which is the source of the smoking.

“I’m home,” I tell her, resisting the urge to gag.

She looks over at me while stirring something that looked like some sort of mystery meat soup. “Where have you been? It’s nearly dinner time.”

I glanced back down at the mystery meat soup. Dinner. Right. “I was at the beach doing homework,” I reply.

Mom pulls a pan out of the oven. The bread isn’t burned but it doesn’t look very appetizing either. She doesn’t reply to me so I leave the kitchen and head down the hall to my bedroom The room across the hall from mine has an open door. Eli is laying on his bed flipping through a magazine. He glances up at me and I grimace unwillingly before entering my bedroom, closing my door and locking it immediately. I sigh and take the room before me in as I shrug my backpack from my shoulders and slip off my shoes. I make my way to my bed – a small twin sized bed in the corner of the room – and sit down. I snake my hand down the side of the mattress, wiggling my fingers from between the mattress and its box spring until they brush against something hard. I grasp the thin book and pull it out of between the mattresses. I flip through the journal, past the pages filled with memories until I find the first empty page. I grab my pencil from the nightstand and press it to the piece of paper.




Someone begins to jiggle the door knob, interrupting my sentence. The jiggle stops, which is followed by a loud exaggerated sigh on the other side of the door. “Sheridan.”

I slide off the bed, gently sliding the journal beneath my pillow and walk to the door, unlocking it. I pull it open to reveal my mother.

She purses her lips. “I wish you would stop locking this door,” she says.

I didn’t feel safe unlocking my bedroom door with Eli around. I didn’t feel safe with him in the next room, under the same roof but she didn’t understand that. I expressed my concerns and she brushed me off. Instead of answering her, I bit the inside of my cheek and turned away from her. I expected her to say something else, or to leave but she didn’t. After a long moment, I turned back to her. Her lips were pressed so thin they were merely a line.

“Sheridan, maybe we should get you in some sort of therapy,” she suggests.

“What?” I retort with a scoff. “I don’t need therapy. I just need you to realize that I’m your kid too and that I’m not lying about Eli!”

She closes her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose between them as she shakes her head. “I know your father wasn’t very affectionate, Sheridan, and I know you searched for that affection in a numerous number of guys growing up. That’s the reason why you’re so on edge when it comes to non-sexual affection but your brother isn’t trying to hurt you…”

My eyes begin to burn and I look away from her once more, scoffing and shaking my head aggressively. “Dad showed affection just fine. He loved me. Eli…he...whether you want to believe it or not he…he…” I couldn’t get my mouth to form the words. After a few more stutters, I slip on my shoes and wipe my face dry from the tears that fell. “You know, I think I forgot something at school so I should go get it.”

I push my way past my mother and ignore her calls for me to come back. I nearly run down the hall, and out the front door of the house and into the neighborhood. I stop the moment my feet hit the pavement of the road and sniff, wiping my face dry once more. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale – I compose myself before I start to walk down the street.

Of course, I hadn’t forgotten anything at the school and even if I had I doubt anyone would be there to allow me to retrieve it. The sun had nearly disappeared and it was getting darker by the second.

I stuff my hands into my pockets and decide to head to the beach. I wish I would have grabbed my journal but I know if I allowed it, the ocean would distract me from my home life for at least a little while. My thoughts drift off as I listen to the scruff of my shoes against the pavement, my stomach growls and I realize I still hadn’t eaten. There was no way I was going back home, especially to eat mystery meat and funny looking bread. I stood on the side of the street, under a streetlamp and weighed my options.

There was a diner down the street, a café down another street and home in the other direction. I knew I didn’t have much money in my pocket. I pulled out a wadded up ten-dollar bill and sighed, deciding the café would probably be cheaper and headed in that direction.

When I get there the café is basically empty. There’s a couple sitting off in the corner with half eaten plates of food in front of them and a guy with dark hair standing behind the counter, wiping it with a towel. I stand there for a moment, looking around deciding where to sit.

“Sit anywhere, but I’m closing up in thirty minutes.” My attention is brought back to the dark headed guy behind the counter. He has stopped wiping the counter and is now staring at me. There is neither a smile nor a scowl on his face, but I step up to the counter and sit down anyway.

“Can I get some water and a bowl of whatever is Today’s Soup? I’ll be out of here in no time, I promise,” I tell him.

The dark headed boy arches an eyebrow at me. “Today’s Soup is spicy coconut carrot.”
Spicy…what? “Okay,” I reply. I wasn’t sure exactly why but I thought changing my answer would make me look stupid and I didn’t want to do that.

“So…you want the spicy coconut carrot soup?” The guy asked me, his brow still raised.

God, no. That sounded absolutely disgusting. Who came up with that? “Yep, and a water. Please.”

The dark headed boy nods with a slightly amused expression on his face before walking away. I looked at my hands and began picking at my cuticles, a habit I picked up for when I was bored or nervous. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was feeling at the moment but I didn’t think I was bored. Nervous, then? But why? Because I knew eventually I would have to go back home and deal with my mother and brother?

A plate is set down in front of my followed by a glass of milk. The plate has three muffins the size of a large grapefruit on it. I look up and give the café worker a confused expression.

He smiles. “You don’t want that soup, trust me.”

I smile back and feel my cheeks getting warm. “Thank you,” I reply.

“I didn’t know what you liked so I got you all three types. Chocolate chip, blueberry, and pumpkin because you know – it’s fall and shit.” He points to each of them as he names them, careful not to touch them.

“Thanks, and I’ll be out of here before you close, I promise,” I tell him picking up the chocolate chip muffin and pinching a chunk off before popping it into my mouth. My stomach growls as soon as it hit my tongue. Part of me is tempted to swallow it whole while the other part of me is tempted to savor it and allow it to just melt in my mouth, it was delicious.

The café guy didn’t move as I took my first bite and I wondered if he was going to watch me eat the entire time. Then he said, “You go to Huntington Beach High, don’t you? You’re new – I see you in the halls every now and then. I think we have calculus together.”

I nearly choke on my bite of muffin but am able to get it down with a swallow of milk before he notices. “Yeah, I just started a couple of weeks ago,” I tell him. “We have a class together? Sorry, I’m so behind I usually just keep to myself. Keep my head in the books, you know?”

The dark headed guy smiles. “Yeah, I noticed. I’m uh…I’m Zack Baker.” He offers his hand and I take it. I don’t realize how cold my hands are until one of mine is embraced by his.

“Sheridan Davis,” I introduce.

Zack opens his mouth to reply but something behind me catches his attention. He gives me a smile before walking off. Curious, I turn to see what grabbed his attention. Zack makes his way over to the couple sitting in the corner. The man and Zack begin discussing something, and once I lock eyes with the stranger, I look away and turn my attention back to my half-eaten muffin, hoping they didn’t think I was eavesdropping.

A few seconds later I hear the bell on the door jingle and Zack reapproaches the counter. I glance behind me and notice the couple has gone which left the café completely empty besides me and Zack. Suddenly I felt awkward and as though I should leave. Before I could express my thoughts, Zack sits down beside me, a cup of coffee gripped in his hand.

“So,” he starts after taking a sip, “Where are you from?”

I bite the inside of my cheek. I hadn’t told anyone where I was from yet, I hadn’t had to get into the reason why I moved and I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, I didn’t want anyone’s pity. “Kansas,” I answered shortly.

Zack nodded. “I’ve never been, but if it’s anything like it is in The Wizard of OZ, I don’t blame you for leaving.”

I laugh and it makes my cheeks feel weird. I realize this is probably the first time I have genuinely laughed in weeks. I don’t say anything immediately, savoring the moment, and then I reply. “It’s alright. It doesn’t have an ocean, though, so major points to California there.”

Zack smiles. “I agree. I lived in Washington when I was younger, but the beach is much more comfortable here. A little warmer too.”

I’m tempted to ask him why he moved from Washington to California but decided against it, knowing that would give him an opening to ask why I moved, too. Instead, I took another bite of the muffin to buy me some time. I used to be better at this - at talking to guys - I was never one to get nervous around anyone I liked or didn’t like. Now it was different like everything else.

“So, do you like working here?” It’s a stupid question but it was the only thing I could think of.

The question didn’t faze Zack much and he answered it with a shrug. “It’s alright. It’s a paycheck, you know. The owner is pretty cool too.”

I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. “Are you guys hiring?” I ask.

Zack looks at me slightly surprised. “Uh…you want to work here?”

I shrug as if I'm shrugging it off if the answer to my question is no. “I just moved here, just kind of looking for something to do in my off time.”

“Oh, I see. Well, I’m not sure but I’ll talk to Drake about it,” he tells me with a smile.

“Thanks,” I grin back. “Well, I’m sure my thirty minutes is up so I’ll get out of here. How much do I owe you?”

Zack stands and walks to the back of the counter, grabbing a small paper bag and a napkin. He grabs my two leftover muffins with the napkin and places them in the bag before rolling it up and handing it to me. “It’s on the house.”

I shake my head. “Oh, no. I can’t let you do that.”

“It’s already been done,” Zack replies, untying the apron from around his waist.

I stand from my seat and grab my bag. “Well, thank you.” I turn and begin walking towards the exit before I reach it, however, I turn back to Zack. “I guess I’ll be seeing you at school, then.”

Zack smiles. “Definitely. Bye, Sheridan.”

I walk home quickly despite still not wanting to be there. I don’t know why but I couldn’t wait to get home and write about Zack in my journal. When I arrive home I quietly open the front door. I can hear mom in the kitchen talking to someone and so I quickly, but silently, make my way down the hall and into my bedroom. I close the door and lock it against my mother’s wishes. I smile before kicking off my shoes and climbing into bed, retrieving my pen and journal. I flip to the page of today’s entry, and without bothering with the uncompleted sentence from earlier, I draw a line under it and begin writing.

Notes

Well, it took way longer than I expected it too, but I finally got chapter two up. I'm really hoping every chapter won't take this long. But thank you for sticking around and reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to comment and subscribe!

Thank you to MeRi, C.H.Sullivan, Synyster-SullivanHarlot6661 , imagine fiction and DaphneG for commenting!

Title credit: Of Mice & Men "Down the Road"

Also, I hoped the journal entries showed up okay for everyone but if not, you can view them here: Entry 1, Entry 2