I woke up before my alarm the next morning, which in itself was alarming. I sat up and looked about my room, my duffle bag of untouched money sitting in the corner. I laid back down and rolled over, simultaneously pulling the covers over my head. I felt shame and filth wash over me. I absolutely hated exploiting myself for money, but after all, money makes the world go ‘round. I swallowed my guilt, and threw the covers off me. A shower and some hot coffee sounded nice.

I towel dried my hair as I walked into the kitchen, making a bee-line to my ancient coffee maker. I sat down at the bar and began making a list of things I needed to do today. I leaned back after a few minutes and observed my chicken scratch, drawing in a deep breath. I shook my thoughts that had began forming, and rose to pour myself a large cup of to-go coffee to counteract the cold February winds. I took a long sip before disappearing back to my room to finish getting ready.

Four hours later, I had completed all my tasks for the day and it was only 1pm. Score for me! Time to dance around my apartment and sort of clean, but mostly dance. I plugged in my phone to my iHome and John Mayer began lowly playing through the living room.

“Oh no, that’s not happening today,” I chuckled to myself. I scrolled through my Spotify playlists and finally decided on my punk playlist. I smiled and nodded to myself as Bad Religion came blaring out the speakers. “Much better.”

Within another three hours, my entire apartment was spotless, down to the linen closet. The only thing left untouched was Sage’s room. I didn’t even feel like she lived here anymore but boy, did I miss her. I shuffled my feet across the hardwood floor, stopping in front of Sage’s door. I turned the handle and let the door swing open by itself.

I tugged my mouth and tried not to let the tears fall as I glanced around her disastrous room. Her room very much matched her life right now. Shit, she’d kill me if she knew I said that. I wonder if she’s even conscious right now. I shook my head. I shouldn’t be thinking like that, but I can’t help it. Sage is a walking train wreck. God, I love her to death but I can’t idly stand by and watch her slowly kill herself. I want to help her, but only if she wants to help herself.

I sat down on her bed, studying my surrounding more thoroughly. Her NOFX t-shirt was hanging over a chair, collecting dust. I grabbed it and stared at it for a long while. That’s definitely something that bonded us, our taste in music. All we did when we first met was go to concerts and party. Man, she was so fun. She was always the girl in the middle of the pit, absolutely destroying everyone in her path. Little did she know, she was destroying herself as well.

The bright red alarm clock caught my eye in the dimming light of the room. Shit, it was almost 6pm. I’d been sitting here for over an hour reminiscing and now I’m damn near late for work. I darted to my room, swifting grabbing my now empty duffle bag and slipping on my Vans before heading out the door.

---

“About time you show up! Lookin’ rough Miss Ruby Soho, you feel alright?” my boss Alex announced as I walked in the dressing room, causing all the other girls to look at me and roll their eyes. I gave him a slight smile before sitting down at my makeup mirror. I sighed and threw my head back, remembering I had two performances tonight. Royally. Fuck. My. Life.

I finished my makeup and began preparing my natural hair for my wig when I realized something- no, someone, was missing. I looked around, not seeing the familiar blonde haired girl. I pulled out my phone quickly and typed rapidly, carefully selecting the recipient.

Where the hell are you? I haven’t heard from you in days, I’m getting worried. Love you Sagey. Please call me if you can.

“Hey,” I got my Alex’s attention. “Have you heard from Leslie recently?” We also went by our stage names at work, just to be careful. Rather be safe than sorry.

“I was about to ask you the same thing. She’s been MIA lately. She better get her shit together or she’ll be out of a job,” he threw me attitude before beginning to walk away. He stopped in his tracks and looked back at me.

“By the way, could you cover her set? It’s only half a song, on at 7:20.” I glanced at the clock.

7:11.

I breathed in deeply and nodded.

“Thanks sugar,” he winked and walked out of the dressing room.

I quickly placed my short blonde wig over my dark hair, did one final spin in the mirror and went to go stretch.

“Oh hi Ruby, you’re going on early tonight!” one of the men who was announcing tonight commented as I was stretching. I never bothered to remember their names. They were as insignificant to me as I was to them.

“Just covering for Leslie, I have my sets later on.”

“Oh, poor girl. She must be really sick, she’s been gone for almost a week straight!” I resisted to urge to throw up and snicker at the same time. Yeah, she’s sick, alright. I gave a quick smile and nod instead. “Just let me know when you’re ready.”

The next five minutes went by relatively quickly. I went out, danced to Sage’s half song, and sauntered off the stage, but not before noticing a group of men who were front and center. They stared, but not in amazement. They didn’t stare the way a little boy does when he sees his first pair of tits. They stared almost as if...they were judging me. Like I was competing for some sort of contest. And I recognized a familiar face: Martin Reeves.

I performed two more times until I finally got to take off my mile high heels for the rest of the night. I looked over and saw Alex beckoning me. I spoke too soon.

“Yes?” I walked up to him, my heels dangling in between my fingers.

“There’s a man asking for you by name. He said he wanted to speak business with you,” he rolled his eyes.. Alex nodded towards a booth where one single man sat, his hands resting peaceful on the table. It was one of the men from the group I took note of earlier in the night.

I walked over, trying to keep the pain I was feeling in my feet from showing on my face. I shoved a fake smile on my face as I approach the table.

“Hi, I’m Ruby,” I offered my hand like this was a job interview. What the fuck? I’m too tired for this. He gestured towards the bench across from him. The look on my face spoke without me having to say anything.

“Have a seat, Ruby. I’m Brian,” he introduced himself. I slid into the booth and looked at him, wondering what the hell this was about. His straight, white teeth shone in the darkness of the club. He had dark hair and dark eyes to match. His arms were toned and twitched slightly.

“You want a drink? I’m buying,” he said as a waitress approached our table.

“I’ll take a Jack and Coke, thanks babe,” I smiled at our waitress, Jayme, one of the nicest girls who worked the bar.

“And a Bud Light for me,” he handed her a $50, “and keep the change,” he sincerely smiled before turning back to me. “So Ruby, I was pretty impressed by your dancing out there. You’re good, way better than these other girls. You deserve to be making more than that.”

I furrowed my brow. Where in the hell was this going? I adjusted my face and nodded in agreement. Jayme brought our drinks over and we both thanked her.

“So, I hear you spoke to my tour manager last night making some more money, doing something better.” He fiddled with the sticker on his beer bottle.

“He didn’t mention anything about money,” I replied, barely removing my glass from my lips before taking another swig.

“Well, you’d be making a lot more money, believe me there. And you’d be dancing besides some of the best dancers in the country. How does that sound?” I gave a humorless laugh.

“You really want me to be honest?” he nodded, and I continued. “It sounds like a fucking scam.”

He cocked his head and studied my face for a moment before laughing.

“Well, you tell it how it is, I’ll give you that,” he raised his bottle and I tapped my glass with it before putting it back to my lips. I smile at him as the drink slithered down my throat.

---

Three glasses of Jack and Coke and six beers later, Brian and I are talking freely about everything, from our favorite movies to traumatizing, embarrassing experiences we’ve had as kids. We’re laughing loudly and surely all the other girls are getting annoyed that this undoubtedly attractive man picked me over them. I drunkenly smiled at the thought.

“But seriously, come on tour with us. You’ll be making way more money and you will be way happier, I promise. Fuck, I know how much money you’ll be making, I’ll be the one paying you!” Brian laughed before grabbing my hands. He held them across the table, looking me deeply in the eyes. I slowly pulled my hands away and put them in my lap before replying.

“I don’t know Brian. I can’t leave Sa- I mean, Leslie. She’s got a lot of things I don’t think she can sort out by herself. I need to be there for her as a friend. If I just up and leave, she’ll hate me,” I picked at my fingernails nervously.

“She’s an adult hun, she can sort things out by herself,” I looked up at him. Sage wasn’t an adult though. She’s 19, she has no idea what being an adult is even about.

“You have to think about yourself, and what’s best for you.” I nodded in agreement. He looked at me for a long while.

“I’ll think about it.” I finally agreed. Kind of.

“You’re not just saying that?” I shook my head no. It was an amazing opportunity, after all. He grinned from ear to ear. “Great. Think on it overnight, and I’ll bring the rest of the guys back tomorrow and we’ll go out for drinks. Sound cool?”

“Yeah, that sounds fun,” I drunkenly smiled back. I can’t believe drunk me just partially agreed to move across the country, go on tour and leave everything, including my best friend and my soul sister, behind. Sober me would never make such a sudden decision.

Sober me needs to be more like drunk me.

Notes

Here is my Christmas gift to you all, a new chapter of the new story. I was really iffy on continuing, but it's gotten such positive feedback after just the first chapter, so I didn't want to just leave you guys hanging! Merry Christmas!

Comment, subscribe, rate! Thanks for reading!

Title credit: Megadeth "Use the Man"