Ravage Your Body

Flashback*

I stood there hovering over Sean, his limp body is laying on the ground covered in blood. I had cuts all over my body from head to toe, some were so deep that I was losing so much blood, I felt like I was going to die any minute.

I pulled the knife back out of his body and continued to stab him all over again. The tears in my eyes feel more freely.

He's dead...Oh God, he's really dead.

Normal*

Sean used to beat me all the time, he used to cut me if I didn't do what he wanted me to do, and he would rape me when ever he felt the need.

I wasn't his girlfriend anymore...

I was his slave, his sex whore. I was his peice of white trash.

I finally had enough of it and snapped back on him when he attacked me for his last time ever.

When the cops and paramedics arrived I was barely concious. They asked me what happened and I don't even remember responding to them.

When I woke up I was in the hospital.

After a few hours of being awake and being questioned I told the cops everything that ever happened and some of my friends that always witnessed showed them photos that I always took everytime he beat me.

I spent months in court that year, when everything was finally over, I was free, I was free because the Jury found me not guilty as did the judge, they said what I did was self defence and that, any scared, young lady would do the same.

I was 18.

I have never been the same again, and I have been running ever since then.

That's why I came to California, because I was running. I was with a bunch of guys that I thought would keep me safe, and I could be me. Without having to hide..

Well...I was wrong.

I have been here for a month, I am cold, dirty, I am tired, I am hungry, I am in so much pain. I can't tell if it's from being hungry or beaten.

The one good thing, is I am no longer being restrained. I am just being locked away. A blanket and a sheet to lay on and cover up with. Nothing else.

He hasn't bothered me lately, I am greatful for that.

When he does bother me he's coming to rape me. He doesn't hurt me just gets his way with me and leaves.

I miss Matt... I miss Matt so much. I miss his dimpled smile, his smell, the way he looks, the way he laughs when I say something funny, I miss his warmth, and his voice. I just miss him.

I miss sabal, and the way she always made me feel. She's my best friend. I promised that I would always be there for her through her pregnancy...her pregnancy...I hope that she's doing well, and that Brian is treating her well.

Brian...I miss the way we always fight with each other just to make each other laugh.

I miss everyone.

It's thinking about them that keeps me alive...


****


I hear shooting upstairs and I quickly back myself into the corner. I can hear footsteps coming down the stairs and voices before I go unconcious.

When I finally wake up, I am warm and there's beeping in the back ground. I slowly open my eyes, the lights bright.

I can hear whispering in the background but I can't quite make it out.

"Matt, Calm down...she's stronger then this she's going to wake up. We're lucky that they found her when they did...or we'd never have found her."

"Sabes...please...I can't believe that she's here...If...if she would've told me...I...I could have protected her." He sobs.

I move my hand over to try to grab his hand that is near mine.

"Lex, Lex babe.." He grabs my hand.

"Oh thank God you're okay!" He looks at me, I look at him.

"I...I thought I..I was never going to see you again..."

He wipes my tears away.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid you would hate me...be afraid of me...and you and the guys and girls were the best things to ever happen to me...I didn't want to scare you all away."

***

Finally it's just Matt and I alone in the room together. I am just so glad that I am alive and finally able to eat again. I am so thankful for the guys that came to the house to duke it out with a guy that owed them money and found me when they were searching for his stash.

If it wasn't for them...I don't know where I'd be right now.

Probably dead.

I slide over so that Matt can carefully lay down with me in the bed.

"I am sorry that I was a jerk to you in the begining...You mean so much to me now, that I was going crazy searching for you...I never gave up...I knew that you had to be alive."

I lay my head on his shoulder.

"I know...I love you Matt."

"I love you too Lexington." He kisses my lips

Notes