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Closer With You

Closer With You

I remember the day we met like it happened just yesterday. We were teenagers....both of us with bad attitudes.

I'd skipped out on the last half of shool that day to go the the beach and, apparently, you and a couple of your friends had the same idea. You were all just standing around, joking and laughing. I don't know how long I just stood there and watched you...I guess it was awhile though because one of my own friends, that hadn't skipped, jumped on me from behing, pulling me out of my thoughts and demanded I come and swim with him. I agreed and we swam until it got dark then decided to head home. I'd forgotten all about you while I was swimming...pushed you to the back of my mind, that is until we, literally, ran into each other on the way out.

We argued for God knows how long about who's fault it was before we suddenly stopped and laughed at how stupid we were being. We were both quick to apoligize, doing so at the same time, bringing another fit of laughter. After we calmed down, we introduced ourselves and started talking. I don't remember how long we just talked but I do remember that by the time we realised how late it was and got home, I got into so much trouble that it's suprising I'm not still grounded.

I remember how you were the only one who could get away with calling me by my real name and I was the only one who could get away with calling you by yours. The only time you ever used my nickname was the day I dropped out of school. You did your absolute best to convince me to come back. You tried so many different things to get me to re-enroll, none of the worked. You even dropped out yourself in one last attempt to get me to rethink my decision.

I remember how we fought about that for months on end. I tried my hardest to get you to go back and you did the same with me. You swore up and down that you were never going to talk to me again if I didn't go back and that I was going to feel guilty for the rest of my life because you missed out on your education and it was my fault. I countered with the fact that it wasn't my fault you quit, it ways your own decision and I couldn't tell you what to do or what not to do. You said that is wasn't a matter of telling you what to do it was a matter of showing you what to do and insisted that if I didn't get myself put back in school again, neither would you.

I can't tell you how many times I thought about it because of that. I tried to tell myself that it was your own stupid fault but, you were right, I felt guilty and I still do. Because neither of us ever did go back.

We spent our days together, talking and laughing. My mom always treated you like you were one for her own kids and you treated her like she was a second mother to you. It was the same with your mom and me...well, after she got over the fact that I was the reason that you dropped out of school.

They would always tease us about being attached at the hip. Neither of us cared though. We weould have killed to be able to spend just a little more time with each other, even though we were already pretty much spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week together.

I remember the day you left. it killed me inside. That was the first time in my life I found myself wanting to cry like a baby. Nothing had ever hurt so much before and nothing ever would again, or so I thougt. I spent days, weeks, months, even years moping around, wishing with everything I had that you'd come back. I didn't want to believe that you, the best friend i'd ever had, was gone and that I'd probably never see you again.

I did see you again though. We met up at a coffee shop a few years ago. Bumping into each other and arguing just as we had the day we first met. When I realised who you were, I remember practically lunging at you and jerking you into this bone crushing hug while you stared at me with this bewildered look on your face. You shoved me away and aske me just who the hell I thought I was and I told you. I swear I stopped breathing when your face lit up just the way it did when we were teenagers.

You'd changed so much...but then again so had I. We went out to dinner to talk about the past and to catch up. You told me how you'd chased your dreams and finally caught them and I filled you in on the fact that I had done exactly the same, and join a band and was living my dream. You told me how you were engaged and I told you I was too. We talked for hours on end...it was just like old times. it was almost as if you;d never left in the first place. We kept contact with each other after that. We made it a ritual to have dinner together at least once a week and swore that no matter what happened we wouldn't lose touch ever agian.

As time went on, however, things changed between us. We crossed the line. We went from just friends to so much more than that.

We started having an affair.

We swore that as soon as feelings got involved we weould break it off...we would stop and just go back to being friends...and that's when things got complicated.

There were so many things that we never said. So many things we still never say. We're still having that affair...I don't think we could stop even if we wanted to. Things have just carried to far. We both broke that promise...we didn't stop and go back to being just friends when feelings got involved. It was a stupid promise to make and we both know it.

When feelings get involved there isn't any turning back.

So many things used to come out of our mouths. Some of them we meant, some of them we didn't. Those that we didn't being what we said while we were fighting. It seemed like we did nothing but fight there for awhile. We got brutal with them too and it killed me. i hated it when we fought. You wouldn't believe it because it isn't anything like me, but I was always trying to bite my tounge. I was always trying to keep myself from screaming at you. It didn't exactly seem like it thought did it?

I don't know what stopped the fighting but one day it just did. it was like we'd both realised that it wasn't getting us anywhere. That we weren't doing anything but ruining our friendship with them. that we were driving each other away.

When the fighting stopped, that when the unspoken words between us really started hurting because I started focusing on the more and thinking about them.

"I love you."

"I just can't leave my fiancee."

"Things are going to change between us for the better, I swear."

"I just don't know when."

"I'm not going to get married."

"But I'm not going to call off the wedding either."

"I'll leave so we can be together, I promise you."

"I just have to work up the courage first."

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I don't want to leave the security I feel now behind."

"Give me some time and I swear to God I'll leave and we won't have to sneak around anymore."

"It's just so hard."

"I want to be with you without having to hit it anymore."

"Just don't make me choose, I can't...I'm too scared..."

These unspoken words are what hurt the most.

That's why I've taken the first step. I love you too much to let this keep going on anymore. It's now or never, I can only hope that I mean as much to you as you do to me. I left her...for you. Now the only question is: Can you leave him for me?


Enough comments and Votes, I will make this a full story!


@Sofaraway_A7x Oh thank god!!!!! :D
@Eloise's Lover
I think I just might. ;)
Sofaraway_A7x Sofaraway_A7x
Awww!!!! Please make it a full story!!!!
Eloise's Lover Eloise's Lover