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Unholy Confessions

Poor Unfortunate Souls

As soon as I came into view of the audience, I felt it.

Hate. Disgust. Anger.

Almost all women were glaring at us, and I wasn’t sure who it was directed towards. Brian had to have felt it, too, because he was tense as stone.

We sat down on the couch on the right of our host, ready to get this over with.

“All right,” Dr. Phil said, looking at a camera. “For our audience at home that is unfamiliar with the situation, Brian and Courtney were raised as siblings and are currently engaged to be married.”

I heard a couple gasps and mumbles, but I tried my best to focus on my breathing. I couldn’t let them know how nervous I was.

“They were both led to believe they were related by blood for most of their lives.” He looks down at a card he was holding, seeming a little nervous himself. After a pause he continues with, “Brian and Courtney have been in a sexual relationship since she was 14 years old.”

And there it was.

The crowd was full of gasps, shock, dropped jaws, and widened eyes. Brian kept his head down and I just watched Dr. Phil, who then turned to Brian.

“How old are you now, Brian?” he asked him.

“I’m 35,” Brian said nonchalantly. How was he so calm?

“And Courtney?”

Oh no, that was me.

I took in a breath and said, “I’m 21.”

“So Brian, you’re 14 years older than Courtney. And you were 28 when you initiated this relationship?”

“Yes, I was,” Brian responded, still unemotional. Why did it feel like we were being interrogated?

“And it wasn’t always consensual, correct?”

“It did not, no.”

More glares came from audience members at that remark. I glanced at Brian and noticed how cold his eyes were.

“Can you elaborate a little bit?” Dr. Phil asked.

Brian shrugged. “It started off as an illness, but now it’s not considered that.”

“And what illness was it considered?”

“One that manifested as control-driven, power-hungry, and obsession.”

I was amazed at how well Brian was handling these questions. Granted, he had time to prepare for this.

“What about pedophilia?” Dr. Phil asked, and I inwardly cringed. Brian hated that word being applied to him.

“No,” Brian said. “It was only ever Courtney. I wasn’t dangerous to anyone else.”

Brian referring to himself as dangerous shocked me a little. I guess it never really sunk in that he did accept how he used to be and the things he did.

“And this all began after your parents passed away?”

“Yes.”

Dr. Phil took a quick glance at the audience. “Courtney, I’d like to talk about your stay at the hospital.”

“What about it?” I asked, trying my hardest to sound a little upbeat.

“How long did you stay there?” he asked.

“Almost a year,” I stated, and Brian squeezed my hand.

“Right afterward, your relationship started up again. How did that happen if you both went through vigorous therapy apart from each other?”

I shrugged after thinking about it for a second. “Therapy wasn’t going to make me stop loving him. Therapy told me it was wrong and I tried to fight it, but it wasn’t gonna happen.”

“You loved him even though he abused you mentally, sexually, and emotionally?”

Without missing a beat, I said, “More than anything.”

He nodded, going through his cards as whispers echoed through the room.

“We’re going to go to a quick commercial break, but when we come back we have a few more guests that have known the couple for as long as Courtney has been alive,” Dr. Phil said, and the cameras cut away just as I saw Brian’s face.

“Shit,” he hissed and his grip on my hand tightened.

“What?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s fucking Matt,” he said low enough that I was the only one to hear him. “It’s the guys, Matt is going to fuck all of this to the goddamn moon-” He was talking so fast I could barely pick up on what he was saying.

“Brian, stop,” I said as he pursed his lips and stared at me.

“You’re going to say it’s fine,” he whispered. “It’s not. Matt is still pissed that you chose me, and he’s going to make sure everyone knows there was even a competition.”

“There wasn’t one-” I started but he rolled his eyes.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

Right before I could say anything, the guys walked out from the same area we did and Matt met my gaze. They sat down on the couch across from us and the intro music came back and the cameras turned toward us. Brian, Johnny, and Zack looked to our host, but I watched Matt as he watched me. Brian’s grip loosened.

Matt, please don’t fuck this up for us.

“Welcome back, everyone,” Dr. Phil said. “Joining us now is the rest of Avenged Sevenfold, who were the first ones to know about this relationship.” He turned to the guys. “How did you all feel when you learned about your best friend and his, at the time, sister?”

The three looked at one another, and we expected Matt to speak, but instead it was Zacky. “Well, Matt was really the first one to know. He figured it out by watching them with each other, and Brian kinda ran off with her…”

This was just going swell, wasn’t it?

Dr. Phil turned to Brian. “You ‘ran off’ with her?”

Brian scratched the back of his neck with his free hand. “I mean… kind of, yeah.”

“What do you mean ‘kind of’?” he asked, sounding surprised.

“He took me to our parents’ vacation house, that’s what he means,” I interjected, already annoyed with how this was going.

“To do what?”

“What do you think?” I asked, tilting my head at him. Brian squeezed my hand, probably trying to tell me to cool it.

I’ve been quiet about everything for far too long, I was done.

“I found out what he was doing,” Matt said, “and he took her to… continue.”

Dr. Phil nodded, looking down at his questions. “Were you ready to turn him in to the police?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to,” Matt said, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at Brian. “Which is why I didn’t.”

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. He wasn’t here to try to screw anything up, he wanted to set things straight with Brian.

It was an understatement to say I felt like a moron.

“And then what happened?”

“I took her back,” Brian said. “I realized what I was doing and… that was it.”

“It didn’t end there,” Dr. Phil said, almost like he was trying to get more out of one of us.

Matt looked at me, knowing what came next in the story. I shook my head slightly, begging him silently not to say it.

“She was going to jump off a bridge,” Brian blurted out.

Gasps from the audience reminded me they were there and I shut my eyes.

“What happened after that?” Dr. Phil asked.

“We committed her,” Matt said quietly. “She’d already tried killing herself before that, we couldn’t let it happen again.”

Dr. Phil looked at me, waiting for me to add something. I sighed and let go of Brian’s hand to cross my arms over my chest.

“I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety after that,” I said, looking to Matt. “You forgot that part.”

Matt didn’t say anything as he looked down.

“But things were good after that, Court,” Zack said. Zacky V, always the one to try and lighten the mood.

“Yeah, until Matty Boy found out about us again,” I said.

“Courtney,” Brian said sternly. I clenched my teeth together and looked at Dr. Phil.

“We’re going to take a quick break,” he said. The cameras rolled away as Matt leaned forward and Dr. Phil walked backstage.

“Courtney, we aren’t attacking you,” he said.

“Matt,” Brian said, knowing what would happen. “Let it go.”

“No,” he said, keeping his eyes on me. “I know what’s going through her head-”

“Do you?” I asked angrily. “Do you, Matt? Because if you did, then you never would have intervened.”

“Are you serious right now?” he asked, eyes widened. “If we hadn’t, you would probably be dead because of him.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Brian asked. What Kayla had said to me when we smoked echoed through my mind.

“He means either I would have killed myself or you would have killed me,” I said, meeting Brian’s eyes.

“Do you believe that?” he asked me.

I shrugged as Dr. Phil made his way back to his seat. “Not sure.”

The cameras turned back to us and Dr. Phil cleared his throat.

“Hey, Doc,” Brian said.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

Dr. Phil looked at him, somewhat startled.

Brian had a smirk on this face. A smirk that told me he couldn’t care less what happened from here on out. “Did you know that Matt slept with Courtney, too?”

My jaw dropped, along with everyone else in the room. Matt glared at Brian.

“Really?” he asked him. “You don’t like your relationship being examined, so you need to bring me into it?”

“Is that true, Courtney?” Dr. Phil asked me.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

“No,” I said quickly.

Matt’s head dropped.

“You liar,” Brian snickered. “They slept together on our Nightmare tour.”

“Because you were sucking face with a fan!” I exclaimed, turning toward him. He didn’t look at me.

“When was this?” Dr. Phil asked.

“2010,” Brian said smugly.

It took all I had to not scream at him. Did he have any idea what he was doing? I couldn't take my eyes off of him and tears brimmed my eyes.

"Courtney," Matt said. "Look at me."

I shook my head slowly as Brian continued to ignore me.

"I cannot believe you," I whispered.

I saw something flash across his face, but he maintained his cold demeanor.

I got up and walked off stage as I started to hear ringing. I heard someone yell after me, but I didn't care. I couldn't believe this was happening.

I couldn't believe him.

I walked outside into the cool air and finally turned when it didn't shut behind me.

"I don't know what he's doing," Matt said, "or why. But please just listen to me."

"Why should I?" I yelled, wiping my eyes. "Both of you have fucking issues, and I'm tired of being pulled into it."

He sighed, leaning against the doorframe. "Please come back inside."

"Fuck you," I spat. "All of you."

He ran his hand over his scalp, unsure of what to do. I realized I left my stuff in the building, so I walked past him and down the hallway to the room where I got ready. He was saying something but I tuned him out as I called Hollie while throwing my stuff in my bag.

"Hey babe, what's up?" she asked.

"I need you to pick me up," I said breathlessly. "I'll explain when you get here. I'm in Hollywood, I'll send you the address."

"You got it," she said without another word. I heard her keys jingling and her footsteps echoing off of her wood staircase.

I opened a text to her as I heard Matt say, "and you'll stay with me until-"

"Excuse me?" I asked. "I don't want anything to do with any of you right now. Go back out and figure your shit out."

As I said the last part, Brian, Zack, and Johnny all appeared in the doorway.

"Court," Brian started. I'll admit he looked unbearably guilty, but I didn't care.

"I don't care, screw off," I said simply.

He stared at me in silence for a minute as the guys looked from him to me, waiting.

"I'm going outside," I said. "Alone."

"I'm not letting you stay outside by yourself, Courtney," he whispered.

"I can handle myself."

"I don't care-"

"I protected myself from you, didn't I?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. He shrank back at that.

"Yeah," he said, picking his smug voice back up, "and you didn't do a great job of it obviously."

"Brian, let's just go," Zack said. Brian turned on his heel and stalked back down the hallway. I watched him the whole way as I screamed at myself not to follow him.

Matt waited in my room with me until Hollie got there. He tried talking to me but I just said "fuck off" every time and he got the idea. As soon as she texted me saying she was parked by Brian's car, I ran out of the building.

"Hey sweetie!" Coral greeted me from the driver's seat. I was unbelievably thankful for a mother figure to be here right now.

"Can I stay with you guys for a few days?" I asked, shutting the backseat door.

"Oh lord, what did he do?" Hollie asked, looking back at me.

***

I told them everything. It took the entire ride and Coral was fuming.

"I'm glad you're staying here," she told me as we walked into the house. I heard a several footsteps and looked at Hollie, who blushed. Coral disappeared into the kitchen.

"Were they already here or...?" I asked. Kayla, Ava, and Cheyenne all ran down the stairs before Hollie could answer.

Kayla said, "SOS texts usually mean a sesh and a show."

"I don't know if I'm feeling it-" I tried saying.

"Yes you are!" Ava said. "I don't care what Dickwad did this time, he won't ruin your fun."

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Please?" CC asked. "We were already going to ask you, if that means anything."

I sighed. "Is Shrutty's already expecting us?"

Kayla flashed a toothy smile. "Of course!"

They dragged me upstairs to change before we went, but it all went by in a blur for me. I tried to pay attention, but Brian kept popping up in my head. I checked my phone and wanted to cry when I saw I didn't have a single text or call from any of the guys.

"I think I need to pregame," I muttered as we piled into Coral's van.

"Yay!" Kayla exclaimed as she handed me a joint.

"Kayla, are you fucking crazy?" Hollie demanded.

"Please," she said. "I already asked your mom, and she said yes."

"Of course she did," Hollie muttered.

We passed it around for the duration of the drive and by the time we got there, I was pretty gone. Exactly how I wanted it.

We were greeted like old friends at the entrance and I saw Travis, the bouncer, from last time. I waved and he walked over.

"Hey, nice to see you again," he said, leaning toward my ear so I could hear him.

"Same!" I said loudly.

He smirked. "You guys seem ready for the show, huh?"

I giggled. "Maybe a little..." I looked him over and realized how attractive he actually was. Not like Brian, but still nice to look at. "Are you gonna watch us?"

"If you want me to," he flirted.

I smiled. "I do."

"Then I will." He winked at me before walking away and I turned to see the four girls watching me with huge grins.

"That was fucking adorable," Cheyenne said, laughing. They all made their comments, but I felt excited for once. It was different from playing in front of Brian, and I loved it.

After a little time for setting up and getting ready, we took to the stage. I grabbed a few Coronas to keep on the side, and I was three deep by the time we started playing. Luckily we discussed songs on the way here, and that was all I remembered from the ride.

We started off with "Poor Unfortunate Souls" (the Jonas Brothers version) and it was incredible. I didn't remember the last time I'd felt so loose. I caught Travis watching and would purposely show off.

We played a few off the wall songs, like a heavier rock version of "When Doves Cry" by Prince, but the crowd loved it. By the end of our set, we were drenched in sweat but we'd never had more fun. We ran off the stage and I stumbled right into Travis as the girls went on ahead.

"Whoa there girl," he said, catching me by the waist. I looked up at him as he had the cutest smile. "How many have you had?"

"I lost count halfway through!" I yelled over the music.

"And you had something on the way here, too, didn't you?" he asked.

I nodded, covering my mouth to shield my laugh. He shook his head playfully.

"You're a mess," he said, "but lucky for you, I've been off the clock since your third song."

"Aw!" I exclaimed. "You stayed for me?"

He bit his lip and looked away for a second. "I guess you could say that."

I smiled as I stared at him and blurted out, "You're really cute."

He chuckled. "So are you."

I looked down and noticed his hands were still on my hips. I looked back up at him and asked, "Do you wanna dance?"

He nodded so I took his hand and we joined the girls on the dance floor.

Notes

Chapter title credit: Jonas Brothers
Oh shit! Lots of stuff going down.
What will happen between Courtney and Travis? What about Courtney and Brian? Is the whole band fighting now? What about the wedding???
Don't forget to vote!
And somewhat unrelated news... I'm seeing A7X on May 9 with Motionless In White! I'm so fucking hyped, I got pit tickets and I swear to god I will be RIGHT IN FRONT OF BRIAN. I WILL. I AM SO EXCITED. AH I AM SO EXCITED. I saw them once before in 2011 but I was nowhere near the stage so this is insane for me. My first time in a pit will actually be on March 22 for Bring Me The Horizon, I hope it goes well lolololol.
All right I'm done I think. Thanks for reading!

Comments

DYING FOR AN UPDATE !!

Holly Holly
12/27/18

@K. Shadows... PLEASE COME BACK! I need to know how this plays out... :’(

I’m so glad you updated!! Poor Courtney. :( I’m glad Brian walked in when he did.

xo_mckyyy xo_mckyyy
11/21/17

Fuck, poor Court :.( Brian owes a fucking explanation for the notebook, and what he said earlier... -_-

LOVED THE CHAPTER!!! Damn Jason fucked up. Can't wait to see what happens.

Avengedlover Avengedlover
11/6/17