Mine

A best friend is someone you share some of your best memories with; someone you can totally let loose and be yourself around; someone who completely understands you and never once passes judgment. It's like they're your partner in crime. They know everything about you inside and out. There are absolutely no secrets between you. For me, that person happens to be Zackary Baker, aka Zee or Zack. He's been my best friend since the first grade when Marty Vince pushed me down on the playground and stole my sucker. Zack punched him and gave me his own sucker to replace mine - we've been inseparable ever since. We've been through everything together. The good and the bad. I was there for him every time he got in fights, whether at school or at home with his parents. I was his rock every time a girl broke his heart in middle school, before we reached high school and he turned into a man-whore. I was there for him when he and our friends played countless live shows with their band Avenged Sevenfold. I also stood beside him the day they finally signed to a major record label. I held his hand the whole time. He's done a lot for me but it's mutual I assure you. He stood by my side and got me through the death of my parents, who were killed a few months after I graduated high school. A careless semi driver fell asleep and crashed right into their SUV on their way home one night. Needless to say I was completely devastated but Zack held me every night as I sobbed, screamed, and went into a somewhat catatonic state. He never left my side. Being an only child, the only family I had was an aunt who lived across the country in New York. She offered to let me stay with her while I finished college but I couldn't leave my hometown of Huntington Beach, nor could I leave Zack. After my parent's passing, he was all I had. Him, his family and our amazing friends were all I had left in this world and the thought of losing any of them is just as lethal to me as downing a bottle of sleeping pills.

Eventually I was able to come out of my shambles and pull myself and my life back together. Now, I am 23 and a successful makeup artist. I travel and tour with many different bands and celebrities doing hair, makeup, and also photography. I also run my own shop here in Huntington. I've done pretty well for myself. I have a nice home, a nice car, the best friends I could ask for, and a more than stable income. I live in a secluded area of Huntington. Best of all, Zack is my neighbor. Avenged Sevenfold is a huge success so it's safe to say he's doing damn well for himself as well. He's always loved the guitar ever since we were little kids. We would jam out in his room so while he played I would sing. He's always told me how beautiful my voice was but I've never had the courage to pursue a musical career.

If it wasn't for Zack, I don't know what kind of shape I would be in. He always pushed me when I was ready to give up. He held me every time things got to be too much like when I had nightmares about my parents. He has always been so selfless and honest growing up and to this day I feel like I'm the luckiest girl alive to have him in my life. I've never considered myself a weak person, nor have I ever depended on anybody to get places in my life; however in reality I am very dependent on Zack emotionally. It's a two way street though, hell, sometimes he can't even buy his own underwear unless I'm there to tell him which ones to get. It's quite humorous actually.

Contrary to what I said earlier about best friends having no secrets, there is one secret I haven't clued him in on, nor could I ever. It would ruin everything, and I'm not willing to risk our friendship for anything. Even if it means I'm dying inside, he'll never know the real meanings behind the words I say to him on a daily basis. He'll never know I'm completely, hopelessly, head-over-heels, utterly, and agonizingly in love with him.

Cliché I know. I don't care.

I'll never forget when I started to notice it. We were well into our freshman year when I began realizing things I hadn't really noticed before. Things like how beautiful his pale green eyes were, or how soft his tan skin felt when he grabbed my hand or tickled me. I began feeling urges to run my hands through his silky short black locks that which were always spiked up or hanging over his eye. I started daydreaming about how his plump pink lips would feel against mine. What did he taste like? Would his snakebites make it so much better? I saw him in a new light physically, emotionally he has always had me from the start, and I just never realized it before then.

Unfortunately to him, I'm just one of the guys. His best friend. He's never come out and said it but the way he is with women I'd assume I'd know by now if he was attracted to me. He goes through women like he changes his underwear. Every week in high school he had a different girl. He was well known for his womanizing ways but no girl ever seemed to protest. They all just wanted a piece of him as he did them. So even if I wanted to tell him how I felt, I'm afraid I would end up as another notch in his bedpost. For now, I'm happy being in the friend zone. He calls me his girl, and in some sick way it makes me feel good. I'm the only constant female in his life aside from his mother. He still goes through a lot of women, mostly groupies. Sometimes he breaks their hearts and occasionally they break his. Either way, I'm the only girl he runs back to, the one who is always there. Even though it's just platonic it still makes me happy. I'd do anything for that man, no matter the consequences. I don't mind suffering in silence. When it comes to him, there is no limit.

Although I know I'm not exactly an expert when it comes to love, I can't help but feel this strange pull towards Zack. I know part of it is because of my feelings for him but even I know this is something much more. Everything he does totally takes over me. The way he looks at me, talks to me. It's odd. I can't explain it. He has always had this strange effect on me. I've never really been in love before, maybe this is what it feels like. An undeniable connection. It's a wonderful feeling, but if you feel this way for someone who doesn't return your feelings... It's total misery.

Notes

This is my first time posting on this site! I hope everyone enjoys it! I'd love some feedback too if y'all don't mind!