Tonight the World Dies

After a few weeks I was finally able to talk Beks into coming to spend the day with me at the house. Gena was away for the day at some spa, so I was really looking forward to just some one on one time with my best friend. I also really hoped she would tell me more about what was going on in her life.

She told me she would be over shortly after Jake left for work and I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I didn't keep checking the clock.

Not soon enough, my doorbell finally rang out and I practically ran to the door to greet my company. "Beks!" I pulled her into a hug.

"Zack!" She laughed. "I can't get over how happy I am to see you nowadays."

I nodded and let her in. "You could see me more if you just left your boyfriend," I mumbled.

"Oh, don't start with me." She said and walked to my kitchen. We used to hang out every day while I was home from tour and she was in college so she knew the place well. She grabbed us both a water and we walked back into the living room. I sat on the couch and she sat across from me in a chair.

We laughed and caught up and laughed some more. It was easy falling back into the same relationship we had before she started dating Jake. Earlier I was thinking about how crazy things had changed with us in less than a year, but now that she's sitting across from me I realized things haven't changed that much at all.

She was the same person she was before she met Jake. Her humor was still the same, her laugh, her smile. She was the same person and yet, there was still a brokenness about her. I tried not to dwell on it much but it was hard. I yearned for the truth because I knew something was wrong, but I also knew if I pushed too hard I would lose her again and that's not something I was willing to do.

"How was tour?" She asked me. "Is it so much better than how it used to be in the van?"

I laughed and nodded. "Oh, definitely! It's much more comfortable on a tour bus." Beks came with us when we left right out of high school to play some gigs. She started nursing school in the fall, so she was only with us for a couple of months, but it was still nice to have her there.

"That seems like forever ago," she said shaking her head.

I smiled. "That's because it was! You should come with us on the next tour. You'll have so much fun, and you can actually watch the show instead of helping with merch and stuff."

She smiled at me and I knew the thought was appealing to her. A part of me wondered if she was entirely happy with Jake, or if there was even the slightest sliver of her that wished she could leave him.

She avoided my offer. Maybe it was because she wasn't aware I was serious, or she didn't want to tell me Jake wouldn't let her. "Selling merch with Val wasn't bad," She told me. "But when she would leave to perform with you guys, it would suck because sometimes the merch line would get crazy before she made it back."

I laughed. "They probably thought she was hot! And she could scream so all the metal heads probably thought she was a member of the band. Or they saw her at the merch stand and then saw what she could do on stage and wanted to go meet her."

Beks laughed too, "You're probably right! How disappointed they probably were when they saw me!"

I shook my head and studied her features for a moment. "Nah, they went to the merch booth to see a beautiful girl and they saw one."

"Oh, shut up!" She laughed and got up from the chair across from me and sat on the couch next to me. Her fingers traced over my Forever tattoo on my neck, sending chills down my spine.

"Have you visited him?" I asked her quietly. She only shook her head. "I haven't either," I confessed.

"Why not?" She asked me quietly.

"I've just had a lot on my mind, on my plate. Visiting him is emotional, you know?"

She nodded. It was quiet for a moment and then she said. "Any more new tattoos? You're so covered it's hard to tell."

"Shut up," I joked. "Aren't you a little behind in the tattoos? You should have as many as me but you're a slacker."

Beks gently shoved me. "Not all of us are rockstars and can afford all the tattoos we want, Zachary!"

"Alright, I'll pay for your next tattoo but it has to say I fucked Zacky Vengenace and all I got was this lousy tattoo." I winked at her.

Beks laughed again and shook her head at me. "You're awful, you know that?"

I shrugged. "If you're just now figuring that out, it's your own damn fault."

Nearly eight hours passed before Beks said she had to get home. I didn't want her to leave, but gave her a hug goodbye anyways.

After she left I couldn't keep my mind off her. I decided to send her a text. "It was so nice to see you laugh and smile today, you looked more like your old self. I hope there are more days like this in our future where you're happy and we can just talk and hang out." I stared it for a moment and then added, "I love you, Beks and I will always be there for you."

I hit send and waited for a reply but a couple of hours passed and I never received one.

After the third hour Gena came home. She greeted me with a kiss which I returned.

"You seem to be in a good mood," she said smiling when we parted.

"I am," I told her kissing her lips again.

"What did you do today?" She asked me.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and she wrapped hers around my neck. "Beks came and hung out."

"Oh," she said. I thought I heard disappointment in her voice.

She let go of my neck and pulled away from me. "What does that mean?" I asked her.

She shook her head and bent down to take off her shoes. "Nothing," she smiled. "I'm glad you had a good day."

I didn't push it because I didn't want to argue. Instead I pulled her back to me and kissed her shoulder. "I love you," I told her.

"I love you too," she smiled.

"You want to go out tonight? Just me and you?" I asked her.

She nodded. "I'd love that. Let me go take a shower and change." I nodded and she ran upstairs.

Half an hour later she walked down stairs, completely ready. "Okay, where do you want to..."

My phone rang, cutting her off. I pulled it out of my jeans and glanced at the caller’s name before answering. It was Matt.

"Hel..." I started.

"Zack, it's Bekah. I don't know what happened but she...she...she's in really bad shape dude. I'm on my way to the hospital now. You have to come."

Notes

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Title credit: Good Charlotte "Secrets"