Dreams of Tomorrow.

Monday morning was a rush as Michelle tried her best to cover up Lya’s black eye before hurrying to school.

Turned out Jimmy and Brian ditched, trying to get more sleep and Lya and Michelle hurried to catch the bus in time.
School was a blur until Jimmy and Brian showed up for lunch, much to Lya’s surprise.

“Couldn’t stay a whole day without seeing my Frenchie!” said Jimmy, wiggling his eyebrows and crushing her in a hug.

“Apparently Brian neither.” Joked Matt as he sat down opposite Brian, who was standing by Lya’s side. When Jimmy finally let her go, Brian took a step forward and hugged her before sitting down next to her.

“So, tell us about the show!” asked Val, looking interested.

“It was awesome. Great guys too. Not my kind of music but they were just so cool to watch on stage... Definitely learned some stuff, stage wise.” Said Brian, reaching out to grab a fry from Jimmy’s plate, leaning over Lya’s.

“They stopped the show because the boys got into a fight and Lya fell on the barrier.” Added Michelle.

“Gosh, are you ok?” asked Val, wincing as she imagined the scene.

“I got a black eye, but I’m ok.” Said Lya, smiling. With the scratches, her black eye and split lip, she was a sight to see. Her grandmother was going to fuss. But Michelle’s make-up skill were welcomed.

“Dude, their set was super long! Completely worth the money.” Said Jimmy.

“You didn’t buy the tickets!” said Michelle, rolling her eyes. Athalya started laughing and then stopped as the side of her face was hurting. “Ouch.”

“But yeah, what Jimmy said. It was super long.” Said Brian, eating Jimmy’s fries.

“Did you enjoy it Lya?” asked Val, “except the black eye part. You’re such a fan, it must have been huge for you to see them live!”

“Ah yeah, it was awesome!” She gave her a half smile. “I still can’t believe it… They played so many songs, it was really really awesome.”

“Dude, she knew every fucking lyrics to every fucking songs!” said Jimmy, shaking his head and trying to lean in his seat. Forgetting it was a bench, he lost his balance and tried to catch himself on Lya’s elbow, pulling her down with him.

“Lya!”

“See, I fall down and no one cares!” he said, between his cackling.

“Jimmy! She’s already injured, be careful!” muttered Michelle, shaking her head as she pulled Lya up.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m fine Chelle, no worries…”

**

She was laughing slightly as she reached the parking lot with the guys.

“See, it’s not that bad, having friends” joked Jimmy as Athalya’s eyes fell on a familiar figure.

“I’ll catch up with you guys.” She quickly said, hurrying to him.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest. Eyeing him carefully.

“I thought, you know, after yesterday… I thought we could talk?”

“Talk?”

“Yeah.”

“About?”

“Can we maybe, get in the car? Your friends are starring.”

She wanted to reply something witty like ‘My mom told me not to get in a car with a stranger’ but then she remembered crying in his arms just the night before.

“One moment” she whispered, holding out her hand and going to her friends.

“Everything ok?” asked Matt, eyeing the guy suspiciously.

“Yeah, he’s a friend of my grandparents.”

"Seems a bit young” mumbled Matt.

“It’s cool guys, he’ll drive me back.

“You sure?” asked Brian.

“Yeah yeah, I forgot he was coming over for dinner and stuff. No worries. He was a friend of my mother actually, that’s why there’s an age gap.” She replied, rubbing her arm. “Anyway, see you guys.” She waved at them as she backed a few steps and turned around, walking back to his car. He opened the door for her, waited until she was inside before he closed it and walked to the driver seat.

Lya buckled her seatbelt, put her backpack at her feet and stuck her hands under her thighs, trying her best to calm her nerves as he started the car. The radio was on, lifting a bit of the tension.
“Did you have a good day?” he asked, briefly looking at her before focusing back on the road.
She nodded and realized he couldn’t see her so she managed to say: “Yeah, a bit tired though.”

The ride back to her grandparents' house was quiet except for the radio.

**

Lya was sitting on the bow-window, windows opened, her book on her lap. She was enjoying the light breeze on her face, taking in a deep breath as she looked up at the sky.

She felt numb, her body was there but not responding. It was like she could fall asleep any second and stay in slumber for over twelve hours. Her brain was not functioning properly, it felt like it had given up long ago to make her see reason.

Her mind drifted back to the show and she closed her eyes, reminiscing in the ambiance, the beat in her chest, the sound of his voice. She could still hear him, singing, talking to the crowd.

Hold on, I’m going outside. Yeah, I’m still there but I’ll probably go back tomorrow. Yeah I know Mike, I know… She frowned. It didn’t say that at the show. She heard a cracking sound and her eyes shot opened, she carefully leaned closer to the windows and saw that Billie Joe was sitting on the porch, lighting a cigarette as he had the phone pressed to his ear.

“I went to pick her up ya know, after school. I thought we were cool, after what had happened after the show… Oh no, dude, no, it didn’t go as planned. Jesus, it was a fucking disaster.”
She scrunched up her nose as the smell of cigarette hit her nose but leaned closer, trying to hear.
“She hates me!” his voice rose a bit, you could hear the distress. “She fucking hates me Mike, you know. Jesus… I know, I know. I don’t know what I was thinking, I should have listened to you.” He fell silent for a moment and Lya had to take a look to be sure he hadn’t gone back inside the house. “Time? Mike, I wasted over 15 years! She’s eighteen! Dude, I still remember when she was in her PJs with her stuffed mickey mouse, crawling on the floor. I was her best-friend back then! She hasn’t even smile at me or even looked at me… She used to be all giggle and smile when I took her to the park. I don’t know what to do. I… I truly don’t. I don’t know what I was expecting, but not that. I knew, I mean, I knew she would be grieving, but… oh fuck it. What more can I do now? I managed to plan a show in L.A, out of nowhere, with no reason except that I wanted her to see Green Day live. You know that. What more can I do? Everyone at the label is thinking that I’ve lost my mind… I can’t even focus on the new record, all I can think about is ‘How can I make Lya listen to me?’ you know.” There was a heartbreaking sight and Lya saw him hunched over his knees, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Dude, I refrain from smoking when she’s around, so it doesn’t remind her of Shania. What more can I do, huh? I would buy her a guitar, a car, hell whatever if it would make her sit down and listen to my side of the story. I don’t blame Shania, I don’t… She had her reason but Jesus, you know…” Silence again and she heard a creaking sound again as he sat down one step lower, resting his head on the pillar. “Adie’s really supportive about this. She saw her when she was a kid you know. Dude no! I told you and Tré like a hundred time, I’m not her father. Sometimes I just wish I was, so I could have some kind of authority on her… Her grandparents are as awesome as ever, you know. They’re really cool, even cooler than before. Yeah they offered but I’m staying in a motel, she’s already mad at me, I don't want her to be mad at her grandparents too because of me.” Lya was leaning so close to the windows, she could easily fall off. “I don’t know dude. I’ll stay until her grandparents come back, I’ll probably stay for dinner, hoping she comes down and then if I can’t talk to her… I don’t know.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat and slowly moved away from the windows, her heart pounding in her chest, her brain finally kicking in and processing everything that he had said. She had flashes about her mother singing Green Day in the car while she was in the backseat, at home, giving her a bath, at the hospital… She let herself fall next to her bed, hugging her knees to her chest. Her mind going back to the show, how everyone was excited to see Green Day, how the crowd responded to him…

“He did it for me.” She whispered, closing her eyes and leaning her forehead on her knees, taking deep breath.

She felt her heart bursting with gratitude, but she was still angry. She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to collect herself.

There was a knock on her bedroom door.

“Come in.” she managed to say, still on the floor. She almost immediately regretted it when the door opened and she saw him, standing at the door.

“Hey, is now a good time?”

She looked at him like a deer caught in headlights and nodded. He walked in, closing the door behind him and sat on the floor not far from her.

“I brought a couple of stuff from when I went to school with your mother. Would you like to take a look?” he asked, looking at her as he held a small box on his lap.
She nodded, looking at the floor. For some reason she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“Is it ok if I come closer?” as she nodded he slowly slide himself to her side and opened the lid to the small box.
It was full of pictures, notes and other small objects.

“That was one of our first shows at Gilman, your mother took that picture.” He send, handing it to her.
She reached out to take it and tried not to touch his hand as she took a good look at it.
“That’s my first guitar, Blue. My father bought it for me.” He said, pointing at the guitar. “I still have it.”

Lya nodded, not able to speak. She felt ashamed at her reaction and angry at him, mixed with frustration at not being able to talk to him.
He kept showing her pictures, always adding an anecdote and she slowly started to relax, forgetting who was sitting next to her.

Then he took out a stack of cards and put it in front of her. She felt a lump in her throat as she recognized her handwriting.
Dear uncle B, she took the first one and starred at it, tears whelming up in her eyes. She remembered sitting at the wooden table, writing Christmas cards with her mother or writing postcards, it was always something she enjoyed doing.
She opened it and swallowed the lump in her throat as she saw her mother’s handwriting, followed by small childish drawing.

“I think it was a tree” he said, pointing at the drawing. She finally looked at him and was surprised to see that he looked as overwhelmed as she did. “That was the first card I received, with your drawing.”

Then he picked up more cards, postcards and she could discern her own handwriting, using different inks. Dear uncle B still... There were a small dozen of cards.
“That’s the last one I received.” He said, handing one card to her. It looked worn out, as if it had been read quite a few times. “Your drawings did improve”

“It was when I went to London with mum” she said, remembering that time when she had been writing postcard on the ferry, on their way back to France. She vaguely remembered writing to 'uncle B' but couldn't remember if she actually knew who she was writing to. Certainly not... Maybe she started asking questions, that's why the cards stopped...

Lya stood up and grabbed the envelope she always kept close to herself as well as the Mickey Mouse stuffed toy.

"I can't believe you still have it..." he said, "It was for your first birthday I think... not sure you really liked it at that time... I think the big eyes somewhat scarred you." he said, looking at the worn out Mickey Mouse.

"It's been with me forever, that what maman told me..." she said, sitting back down.

“That was from my mum’s birthday last year.” She said, taking out one picture and handing it to Billie Joe. Her eyes moved from his hands to his face and she whelmed up again when he saw his eyes filling with tears again. Whatever had happened between her mother’s and Billie Joe, he still cared about her. It was clear, just spending that last half hour with him, how he had kept all those letters, pictures and so on.

“Was she sick at that time?” he asked, bringing the picture closer to his face.

“Probably, but she didn’t knew it.” She said, quickly wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “Cancer took her really fast. Less than a year.”

“Lya…” he put the picture down and looked at her, reaching out to take her hand. “I know you probably have a lot of questions and I probably can’t answer them all. I know you probably hate me, I can understand but if you could just hear me out…” she looked up from her lap and met his gaze.

“First of all, I’m truly sorry for your loss. Your mother was a really good friend of mine when we were younger.” Her jaw clenched, fighting back the tears. “I… I had no idea she was sick and we lost touch when you were about 10 or 11, the cards stopped coming, I didn’t have a return address, your grandparents couldn’t help me either… I don’t blame anyone you know, I’m just trying to explain, I…”

“It’s not your fault.” She whispered. “As much as I want to blame someone, I can’t blame you. I’m just… I miss her so much…” and she broke down, waves of emotions crashing on her. She felt his arms wrapping around her, rubbing her back.

Notes

Sorry for the incredibly long wait. If anyone is still interested, let me know :)
Hope you are all doing well x