The Four Horseman

People reacted to the apocalypse in two ways.
The devout turned to the churches of all religions as tales of strange creatures in the chaos increased and even the news channels that could still broadcast locally had reported on winged demons and the fast death that followed. The country had become fragmented as communications failed and even the military could not mobilise on a national scale. The priests, imans, rabbis and various creeds and cults all called it for what it was, the end of the world, and people flocked to pray for deliverance and forgiveness.
Those that didn’t turned to hedonism, the survivors huddled into bars and clubs to drink away the last days and hours of the lives or normal existence. A lot of rules had relaxed as those who had no gods or just liked to fuck found willing bodies to share that desire. Even in disaster some people were raking in the money and just adding themselves in bigger letters to the death list. It was an irony that was not lost on the horsemen.
They had drank and devastated their way across several states and even a brief time flip abroad to fuck up Russia completely just because Syn had developed a desire to steal all the vodka. Thankfully angels could drink, smoke and screw to their hearts content and still get the job done. Matt had sparked a new American Civil War to divert the vodka driven lush, Zacky had played truth or dare with several aeroplanes trying to flee and even allowed Claire to wield the flaming swords. They had been visited twice by Michael to tell them to calm down with a wry smile and Satan had waylaid himself in Vegas to carry on enjoying the blackjack and hookers.
Jimmy had watched and enjoyed it all, his arrival meaning that the horsemen could now appear to humanity in their traditional form should they wish. Armour and steeds was amusing for them, terrifying for humanity and so far they had only tried it once before deciding to save it for when Satan chose to start a real battle. Jimmy had taken to walking among the populace and simply touching those he knew were marked before joining his blood brothers when War and Conquest had decided to spark Death on mass. It had been fun and was the reason they were propping up a bar in Louisiana watching Lilith and Johnny have a drinking contest.
“You’re cheating.”
“I’m not human, of course I’m cheating.”
Lilith smirked at the hazy drunken smile on Johnny’s face and downed another double whiskey.
Claire leaned forward from Zacky’s lap to pour another round into the two shot glasses as Johnny forced down his double and planted a huge kiss on Jimmy’s cheek. The tall man screeched in amused disgust and punched the short man in the ear.
“You lost short shit!”
Johnny puffed out his chest and passed out, falling into Lilith’s lap as Jimmy and Zacky roared with laughter. Syn and Matt would soon be back so Jimmy pushed his way through the packed crowd around the bar to get another couple of bottles. The assembled throng didn’t even feel human to him, just more numbers for him to collect and perhaps silence the noise. He leant against the soaked wood and looked towards the barman, idly listening to the conversation of two girls next to him.
“Gretchen, you didn’t see a demon.”
“Well you tell me what it was then because it had leathery wings and picked Mr Broom from next door up and carried him away.”
“I think the government are poisoning us with hallucinogenic drugs.”
Jimmy swallowed down his smirk and turned. The noise around him seemed to die away and he only noticed the same smirk on the pretty dark haired girl in front of him. She was surrounded by a white aura and clearly was not on his list. Her friend continued to prattle on as he caught Gretchen’s eye and smiled. She saw a handsome man, tall and blue eyed that clearly had enjoyed the thought of a mad scientist government as much as she had.
“Well I say whatever, I’d rather have the drugs than see that again.”
Jimmy ordered two more bottles and then three shots, politely tapping on Gretchen’s arm as he turned on his famous smile. She found she wanted to stare at him and even her friend accepted the drink with a smile. Jimmy raised the glass to them both.
“I hope it’s the government too.”
“Amen, what’s your name?”
Jimmy smiled, he could see that Gretchen was sent to him from a grateful god for his service and thanked the big man and Syn Gates for the negotiation. Gretchen herself wanted to drink with him and surprised herself by thinking something much dirtier than that. She had been hiding out since poor old Mr Broom had been taken, her family had fled and yet she had felt safer staying in the city with Ree and a few other friends.
“Jimmy….”
He paused to pass the bottles back to Syn who winked at the girls and then disappeared back to where Claire and Lilith had now made up the unconscious Johnny with lipstick, eyeliner, eyeshadow and some interesting fake eyelashes. Matt was already laughing to tears and waved to Jimmy as he turned back to the bar. The place seemed to have got even more crowded and the drink was flowing faster, it felt decadent and he wondered if any demons would show.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Gretchen and that’s Ree.”
The dark haired girl’s friend smiled and Jimmy poured another round from his remaining whiskey bottle. They talked for a while, Jimmy allowing himself to feel human for an hour and remember when talking to a pretty girl was the limit of his problems. Gretchen told him of her family and experiences since things had started going south. Ree could see they were smitten with each other and left them to it, disappearing into the crowd.
“So what are you doing in the apocalypse?”
Jimmy glanced back to where Lilith was watching, her eyes a little red as she realised that there were some minions for the opposition skirting around. He knew his hour of peace was over and turned back to Gretchen, taking a deep breath.
“Enjoying the chaos. Let me tell you a joke. Death walks into a bar….”
Gretchen waited, her face puzzled as she smirked at him.
“What’s the punchline?”
Jimmy grinned and turned, one hand reaching out to touch the man nearest him. The man jerked and his arms flailed, the silent curse of Death passed around the whole room in a matter of seconds until the floor was a pile of dead bodies and an eerie silence descended. The only living people in the room were Jimmy and his friends and Gretchen. She had gone pale, somehow knowing that she was safe and that they were unearthly like the thing that had carried away her neighbour. She glanced at where four handsome men and two women were now staring at them.
“Wh…what did you do?”
“That was the punchline. My name is Jimmy but I am also Death….”
Gretchen gaped at him as he pointed out his friends.
“That’s Conquest…or Pestilence…otherwise known as Synyster Gates.”
A pretty man with good cheekbones waved to her, the huge man next to him smiling.
“On his right the big guy is Matt…or War. Next to him is Lilith, mother of demons and Zacky, Horseman of Famine and Justice plus his woman Claire….”
Gretchen pointed to the guy with the drag queen makeup and Mohican.
“Who’s that?”
“Johnny Christ, he’s the son of God or some kind of nephew.”
Lilith stepped over the bodies and shook Gretchen’s hand.
“It’s a shock but you’re fine, your aura is about as white as it gets. Stick with lanky here and tag along.”
Gretchen nodded dumbly, looking down at the piles of bodies as there was a brief discussion. Syn poured her a drink and Claire reassured her that she was human too and that this wasn’t quite the end everyone thought it was. Matt had felt the same as Lilith and decided that getting the humans to safety so they could fight was a priority.
“We will go get the cars, don’t open the door.”
Claire nodded, steering Gretchen to a seat next to the sleeping Johnny. Jimmy planted a kiss on her lips which made her smile before the horsemen disappeared out into the fires and chaos to find some transport. Claire headed out behind the bar and into the kitchen to put the kettle on and make both her old friend and new some coffee. It was dark and eerie, the bodies of the staff didn’t exactly bother her but she felt uneasy and didn’t know why.
“Hello Claire.”
A small scream escaped as Claire whirled around and saw a young man by the back door. He was short like Johnny and bore a resemblance to Zacky that made her frown. He watched her for a moment, the kettle whistling between them before she raised her chin, her voice calm.
“Do I know you?”
“I was blond the last time you saw me but Gee always preferred me in this form.”
Claire squinted, a cold hand seeming to grasp her neck as she realised it was the eyes she recognised and where she had seen him before. Her hand went out to the meat cleaver that the dead cook had dropped on the work surface as he fell.
“Satan?”
The short haired man giggled, a light and happy sound.
“Yeah but Gee always calls me Frank.”
“What do you want?”
Frank pondered the question as he walked towards her. He hadn’t wanted his, couldn’t believe a lovers tiff had led to all this chaos but he couldn’t deny it was fun and now he didn’t want the horsemen to spoil it. There was some leverage needed and the girl in front of it was it.
“To help you actually. You’re human and Zacky…isn’t.”
“I know that so?”
“So how long can you stay alive.”
Claire swallowed hard and edged towards the door. His eyes were mesmerising and she found herself wanting to listen. Frank walked the rest of the distance between them and took the cleaver from her hand, his palm cupping her cheek.
“Come with me and hear what I have to offer.”

Notes

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