Follow The Tides, Wherever You've Been
I Can Finally See, And You're Not The One For Me
Brian just looked at me, hurt evident in his eyes. I couldn't help but feel bad for what I just said, but I wasn't about to apologize, this was his fault. He finally turned away, towards to the window, and the rest of the ride home was silent between us.
"Are you okay, Bradley?" Jimmy tried to console me, as he sat by my side in the backseat. He put an arm over me, and rubbed my back, as tears fell from my eyes. Suddenly, everything caught up with me. I was almost raped tonight, which brought back memories of Aden, that, in turn, made me feel worse, and the whole deal with Brian was also dragging me down. I was terrified, humiliated, and hurt.
As soon as we got to the house, and Jimmy was safely out of the car, I ran into the house, not waiting for anyone else. I slammed the door behind me, and took the stairs quickly up to the second floor. I couldn't get away fast enough, my feet weren't moving as fast as I wanted them to. I was too into my thoughts, that I tripped on the last step, and landed face first on the second floor. This only made me cry harder, nothing was going my way tonight!
"Bradley!" I heard someone yell from downstairs. It was Brian. Shit. I heard someone climbing the stairs, and then I was being helped up.
I stood up and came to face Johnny. "Brian's looking for you." He said, looking at me, concerned. He wiped some tears from my face.
"I don't want to talk, Johnny. I just want to forget everything that happened tonight." I cried.
"I understand. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this, Bradley." He lead me to my room, and helped me to the bed. I sat down, and he started to walk out of the room. He turned back. "Is there anything I can get for you or do for you?"
"No, but thanks a lot, Johnny, it means a lot. You're a good friend." I smiled as best as I could towards him. He smiled in return.
"No problem, Bradley, you're very welcome. Anything to help out a friend." He walked out of the room, and shut the door behind him.
I laid back on the bed, resting my head on a pillow, and soon drifted off to sleep.
--
I woke up the next morning, and Matt was sitting next to me. It startled me to see him so close, and I jumped a little.
"Whoa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"Were you watching me sleep?"
"No! No."
"Creep."
"Hey, you looked so peaceful, angelic even." He grinned at me, revealing his lovely dimples.
"If you say so."
"I do." I laughed at this. "So, I came up here to see if you were awake, I was going to make you breakfast. I was hoping it would help you feel better." All of the thoughts from the night before came rushing back to me.
"Fuck."
"Hey, it's okay. Brian can be an ass sometimes, we all can, but he's got a big heart."
"I don't know what I want, Matt."
"Now, don't say that. You know exactly what you want. You want to make up with Brian. And if you find you can't be together, at least be friends. He really loves you, Bradley. He knows he fucked up, and he feels terrible because of it. He blames himself for what that man tried to do to you last night."
"That's not his fault, really."
"But he thinks it is. You are the one that has to tell him it isn't his fault, he'll believe you. He wants to know you don't hate him for what happened. His jealousy got the best of him."
"Tell me about it." He cupped my chin.
"Do this for our band, Bradley, do it for me. Please forgive him, or he'll never forgive himself."
"I'll go talk to him, I guess. But I don't know if I want to be in a relationship with him, after what he pulled last night." He let go of my chin, and got up off the bed, walking towards the door.
"And I understand that completely. He needs to know that's how you feel. I'm going downstairs to cook breakfast now, don't be late." He smiled at me, and left the room.
I was still dressed in my clothes from last night, so I undressed and pulled out some different clothes to wear for the day. I dressed in a swim suit, with a dress over it. I was thinking a relaxing day at the beach sounded good.
While I was getting dressed and ready, I turned on my pandora account on my computer. "Applause" by Lady Gaga started playing, and I immediately started dancing around the room.
"...Live for the way that you cheer and scream for me. The applause, applause, applause. Give me that thing that I love! I'll turn the lights on!" I must have been really into my singing and dancing, because I didn't notice the five member audience I had at my door.
"Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch! Make it real loud!" I turned around, towards the door, and stopped dancing, and singing. "Oh." I felt heat rising to my cheeks, this was embarrassing.
"You were being 'real loud.'" Jimmy said, poking fun at the song lyrics. I walked over and turned the computer off. I slipped on my sandals, and walked towards the door.
"Excuse me, please, I was just leaving." I pushed through the guys, and walked away, down the stairs.
"Can I get a burger with that shake?" I heard Zacky ask.
"It's breakfast time, you idiot." Brian slapped him.
"Who says you can't have burgers and shakes for breakfast?" They all followed me downstairs, and into the kitchen.
"Oh, by the way, breakfast is ready." Matt said to me.
"I can see that. Thanks." I grabbed a plate, and some food, and sat down at the island.
"You don't eat much." Zacky pointed out, as he sat down with a plate of his own food. The rest of the guys gathered around with their plates, and sat down.
"I'm sorry? I eat what fills me up, and that's it. I don't want to gain unnecessary weight." I pointed out to him.
"Oh gosh. I doubt you could gain weight if you tried." Little did these guys know, I used to be a chubby teen, this was the first time I'd been the weight I wanted to be.
"If you only knew." I took a bite of my food.
Once I was done, I got up, and put my plate in the sink, the guys following suit, soon after. I went out the sliding back door to the patio, and laid down on a chair, enjoying the sun.
"You're going to get tan lines." Brian said next to me. I raised my sunglasses and looked at him.
"Oh well."
"Can we talk?"
"Sure."
"Look, I'm sorry." He said sitting down. "I was a real ass last night, and I apologize. When I saw you dancing with the guys, I was worried, and jealous. I thought maybe I'd lose you to one of them. I know, it was a crazy thought, but I'd also been drinking a bit. I'm really sorry."
"It's okay, Brian, I forgive you... but I don't think I can be in a relationship with you, if you're going to be jealous and controlling."
"I know, but I'm not like that all the time."
"Most of the time, you are."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not asking you to change. I'm not saying I don't still love you. I'm just saying that maybe I've finally figured out what I really want." On that note, I got up, grabbing my cell, and walked away, towards the beach.
"Are you okay, Bradley?" Jimmy tried to console me, as he sat by my side in the backseat. He put an arm over me, and rubbed my back, as tears fell from my eyes. Suddenly, everything caught up with me. I was almost raped tonight, which brought back memories of Aden, that, in turn, made me feel worse, and the whole deal with Brian was also dragging me down. I was terrified, humiliated, and hurt.
As soon as we got to the house, and Jimmy was safely out of the car, I ran into the house, not waiting for anyone else. I slammed the door behind me, and took the stairs quickly up to the second floor. I couldn't get away fast enough, my feet weren't moving as fast as I wanted them to. I was too into my thoughts, that I tripped on the last step, and landed face first on the second floor. This only made me cry harder, nothing was going my way tonight!
"Bradley!" I heard someone yell from downstairs. It was Brian. Shit. I heard someone climbing the stairs, and then I was being helped up.
I stood up and came to face Johnny. "Brian's looking for you." He said, looking at me, concerned. He wiped some tears from my face.
"I don't want to talk, Johnny. I just want to forget everything that happened tonight." I cried.
"I understand. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this, Bradley." He lead me to my room, and helped me to the bed. I sat down, and he started to walk out of the room. He turned back. "Is there anything I can get for you or do for you?"
"No, but thanks a lot, Johnny, it means a lot. You're a good friend." I smiled as best as I could towards him. He smiled in return.
"No problem, Bradley, you're very welcome. Anything to help out a friend." He walked out of the room, and shut the door behind him.
I laid back on the bed, resting my head on a pillow, and soon drifted off to sleep.
--
I woke up the next morning, and Matt was sitting next to me. It startled me to see him so close, and I jumped a little.
"Whoa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"Were you watching me sleep?"
"No! No."
"Creep."
"Hey, you looked so peaceful, angelic even." He grinned at me, revealing his lovely dimples.
"If you say so."
"I do." I laughed at this. "So, I came up here to see if you were awake, I was going to make you breakfast. I was hoping it would help you feel better." All of the thoughts from the night before came rushing back to me.
"Fuck."
"Hey, it's okay. Brian can be an ass sometimes, we all can, but he's got a big heart."
"I don't know what I want, Matt."
"Now, don't say that. You know exactly what you want. You want to make up with Brian. And if you find you can't be together, at least be friends. He really loves you, Bradley. He knows he fucked up, and he feels terrible because of it. He blames himself for what that man tried to do to you last night."
"That's not his fault, really."
"But he thinks it is. You are the one that has to tell him it isn't his fault, he'll believe you. He wants to know you don't hate him for what happened. His jealousy got the best of him."
"Tell me about it." He cupped my chin.
"Do this for our band, Bradley, do it for me. Please forgive him, or he'll never forgive himself."
"I'll go talk to him, I guess. But I don't know if I want to be in a relationship with him, after what he pulled last night." He let go of my chin, and got up off the bed, walking towards the door.
"And I understand that completely. He needs to know that's how you feel. I'm going downstairs to cook breakfast now, don't be late." He smiled at me, and left the room.
I was still dressed in my clothes from last night, so I undressed and pulled out some different clothes to wear for the day. I dressed in a swim suit, with a dress over it. I was thinking a relaxing day at the beach sounded good.
While I was getting dressed and ready, I turned on my pandora account on my computer. "Applause" by Lady Gaga started playing, and I immediately started dancing around the room.
"...Live for the way that you cheer and scream for me. The applause, applause, applause. Give me that thing that I love! I'll turn the lights on!" I must have been really into my singing and dancing, because I didn't notice the five member audience I had at my door.
"Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch! Make it real loud!" I turned around, towards the door, and stopped dancing, and singing. "Oh." I felt heat rising to my cheeks, this was embarrassing.
"You were being 'real loud.'" Jimmy said, poking fun at the song lyrics. I walked over and turned the computer off. I slipped on my sandals, and walked towards the door.
"Excuse me, please, I was just leaving." I pushed through the guys, and walked away, down the stairs.
"Can I get a burger with that shake?" I heard Zacky ask.
"It's breakfast time, you idiot." Brian slapped him.
"Who says you can't have burgers and shakes for breakfast?" They all followed me downstairs, and into the kitchen.
"Oh, by the way, breakfast is ready." Matt said to me.
"I can see that. Thanks." I grabbed a plate, and some food, and sat down at the island.
"You don't eat much." Zacky pointed out, as he sat down with a plate of his own food. The rest of the guys gathered around with their plates, and sat down.
"I'm sorry? I eat what fills me up, and that's it. I don't want to gain unnecessary weight." I pointed out to him.
"Oh gosh. I doubt you could gain weight if you tried." Little did these guys know, I used to be a chubby teen, this was the first time I'd been the weight I wanted to be.
"If you only knew." I took a bite of my food.
Once I was done, I got up, and put my plate in the sink, the guys following suit, soon after. I went out the sliding back door to the patio, and laid down on a chair, enjoying the sun.
"You're going to get tan lines." Brian said next to me. I raised my sunglasses and looked at him.
"Oh well."
"Can we talk?"
"Sure."
"Look, I'm sorry." He said sitting down. "I was a real ass last night, and I apologize. When I saw you dancing with the guys, I was worried, and jealous. I thought maybe I'd lose you to one of them. I know, it was a crazy thought, but I'd also been drinking a bit. I'm really sorry."
"It's okay, Brian, I forgive you... but I don't think I can be in a relationship with you, if you're going to be jealous and controlling."
"I know, but I'm not like that all the time."
"Most of the time, you are."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not asking you to change. I'm not saying I don't still love you. I'm just saying that maybe I've finally figured out what I really want." On that note, I got up, grabbing my cell, and walked away, towards the beach.
@A7Xlover
No problem :)
1/17/15