Brian’s POV

“When do we have the studio time booked again?” I asked Matt who sat beside me on his couch, while he was not paying any attention to me cause he was playing the new Call of Duty game.
“Huh?” Matt’s only answer, I couldn’t expect any more from him while he was playing this game.
“When do we have the studio time booked? From next week?” I asked again making it more simple, hopefully.

“Yeah… Monday” Matt’s two word answer was already more then I could ask for.
“Alright” I nodded but to my surprise Matt stopped the game and looked at me from the side.
“Why would you ask that?” He lifted and eyebrow at me as if I asked something completely suspicious.

“Why not?” I fumbled with my finger at the knee hole in my jeans and didn’t look up to meet his eyes, okay fine maybe I was acting suspicious, sue me.
“Because you were behaving pretty weird these past days and we were all wondering when you would come out of the closet, so am I the lucky one to find out first?”

“What? Behaving weird? Come on, don’t fucking… ahh whatever, I’m heading home” I got up from the couch turning around a final time so see the smirking Sanders on his couch.
“What is it? You found someone new? Damn, that’s nothing bad, Haner… your divorce was a fucking year ago… you are allowed to… you know, look around” Matt grinned even more showing me his dimples which earned him the finger from me and a loud bang of the door that closed behind me while I left his house.

“Monday” I muttered to myself… what could a man do in about 6 days to get his head back in the game… I needed some time for myself, some time away from these guys, some time to think about only my life and nothing else, without caring too much… I needed… a fucking distraction from this!

I walked the small path from Matt’s house to the beach… it was just a few feet to my house, since we were direct neighbors and I took the chance to walk the small distance with the sand beneath my feet. I took off the flip flops I was wearing and took them into my hands, I breathed deeply in enjoying the feeling of the last sun rays that were falling onto my face and enjoyed the smell of the ocean.

But maybe that was it… maybe some time away from the ocean, from everything that surrounded me would help me sort through my crazy thoughts.

While I stood there at the beach with my eyes closed, all those crazy thoughts kept coming back to me, Matt was completely wrong… okay, maybe not completely but he was wrong that it wasn’t about my divorce that I was behaving strange...

I had closed the chapter Michelle, even before the divorce was done. We both knew it was for the best for the both of us, and we left it at that, I tried not to meet her and she tried to get out of my way, and if we met up because of family and friends party’s we would say hi and bye, and act that part but that was enough.

I didn’t have to be her best friend and she didn’t have to be mine, we settled everything that needed to be settled and moved on with our lives.
But what was beginning to rob me off my mind was those dreams I had lately, they seemed so real, that sometimes I caught myself trying to hold on to them.

I was dreaming about a place I haven’t been before, it looked a lot like California beach but then again it didn’t, it could probably be any other beach… I didn’t know why I was always returning there, it felt weird to me, since I was living on the beach already, maybe that was it, maybe this closeness was driving me slowly insane.

And I even left out that little fact of the woman that I kept seeing in my dreams, from one night to the other, she appeared in my dreams and stayed since then.
I knew her, at least I thought I knew her, but not from my normal daily life, I seemed to know her from my dreams, we were talking getting to know each other, but I never dared to touch her and try if she was real.

I didn’t even know her name, she was just there, like some kind of fantasy being.
I knew if that was what Matt meant with coming out of the closet he could way a lifetime for me to admit that, they would begin searching for a new guitarist thinking they had to sign me in some mental institution…

But after long nights in Matt’s home studio or some party night when I fell asleep at someone’s home, I woke up disorientated and lost, only remembering the beach and the woman… and the next moment when I planned to look for her… she was gone, from my eyes and from my mind, like she didn’t exist but when I went to sleep again, there she was.

I knew that was nothing I should or could tell anyone, no matter how close friends they were, I mean hell they would really think I was freaking insane.
I sighed deeply and slowly opened my eyes realizing the sun had slowly gone down and I was nearly standing in the dark.

I could get so lost in those thoughts, it wasn’t even funny anymore, no wonder the guys thought I was behaving weirdly. Because I was behaving that way, and I really had to do something about it.
I had to put some distance between the beach and me, between my home, between me and my friends.

I needed the distance to get rid of those dreams, I didn’t know if it would be working but I knew I couldn’t go on like this.
This woman was tormenting my sleep, even though I never felt bad when I woke up, but she was robbing my thoughts during the day, made me wonder if she really existed, if this was some mind trick of my own overworked brain!

I made my way home and tried not to think about the fact that it would soon be night and my sleep was getting nearer, why was my heart making a small jump thinking that soon I would be dreaming again.

I took my time in getting ready, even drank a beer while watching TV to postpone the inevitable, but in the end I lost the battle, my eyes getting heavy and my head lolled to the side, sleep overcoming me.

I felt the sand beneath my feet first, let my toes run through the hot sand, weirdly it was always day when I was dreaming, and when the day was done, it became night and I woke up, saying goodbye to my dream and the woman that accompanied it.

“Was thinking you wouldn’t show up” Her voice sounded from behind me and she gave me a charming smile.
“Couldn’t stay away even if I wanted” Truth… double truth even.
“You want to walk along the beach?” She asked with a small chuckling, apparently getting my double meaning, or not? Was she real?!

“Sure” I walked into the bright sunlight and she followed me, whenever I thought about asking her something private ,about her name, or where she lived, my tongue felt heavy and I wouldn’t get it out, was that some trick?!

“How was your day?” I asked and heard a small sigh escaping her lips, while I watched her from the side, her long hair was lighter in the ends, she had probably dyed it before and let it grown out.
Her hair swayed in the wind and I caught a soft breeze of her perfume when the wind turned, she smelled damn good.

“Not so good?” I asked and she shook her head lightly “It was okay… Just having a lot of thoughts in my head at the moment, its pretty exhausting to be honest. I think I need a break…” She said and then her eyes met mine, damn she really had beautiful eyes and I had no idea how often I had thought that in these dreams, because every dream felt like getting to know her newly while I already deep down had this connection to her.

“And yours?” She asked and I nodded “About the same… my friends think I’m behaving weirdly and I think they are right” She was indeed the only person… was she really a person… that I could trust with my thoughts.

“Why would they think that?” She asked again while we walked along the water, my feet getting wet every once in a while from the small waves.
“I don’t know… but I am mostly lost in thoughts… I am not really able to… work right… and it’s important that I am at the top of my game again, we having some important things to do next week” I summed it up and she nodded as if she knew exactly what I was talking about.

“Maybe you should take some time off, before all the hard work starts?” She asked and I gave her a small smirk from the side “I was thinking about that”
We kept on walking, our conversation turning to a lighter topic, we explored our surroundings some more until the sun went down, every night we would watch the sunset together, and when the sun disappeared completely behind the ocean, it was time to say goodbye.

“I’ll see you tomorrow” I turned to her and she gave me a smile, looking all shy and innocent at me.
“Yes, until tomorrow” She waved and before the last sun light was gone, I grabbed her hand in mine and felt her skin for the first time, she was warm and soft and then…

I woke up with a jolt, sitting up straight while opening my eyes, my breathe caught in my throat, I had never touched her before… but I still felt the electrical rush in my body and knew what I had to do now, I had to do what my dream- self said.

I went to the living room and opened the laptop and booked myself a flight, I wrote Zack a message, since everybody was already thinking I acted strange, why not keep that image up.

I just wrote him that I was taking some time off, they shouldn’t try to find me and that I would be back on Monday on time for the studio session.

Immediately he replied with questions about where I was going and what I was doing and if he shouldn’t come along, but I didn’t reply to any of those…

Notes

Last chapter for today :)

More tomorrow on your actual B-day, hope u liked the start off :D
And that u are excited for more ;)