Single honeymoon

Ten more days.



CAT'S POV

"But what the fuck am I supposed to wear? She never fucking saw me dressed up before!" Jimmy angrily pulled his hair and let out a long sigh before throwing the last shirt out of his wardrobe. "Help!" he cried out in frustration.

It was the first day he was allowed to spend at home and he'd arranged a date with Lizzy. I'd never seen him this anxious and excited before. He was really into that girl, that much I could tell.

"I don't knowwwwww," Jimmy howled. "Maybe you're right," he then said. He slipped his plain black t-shirt off his skinny body. I eyed him closely. He'd lost even more weight. There was a long reddish scar on his lower abdomen from the surgery and his skin was still so pale. He looked sick, really. I was worried about him.

"Jimmy? Are you sure you're alright?" I asked when he had to sit down before putting on his shirt. "Yeah, don't worry," he said with a brave smile. "So anyway, you and Matt? Did you finally make up your mind?" God damnit, can't at least you leave me alone with this?

"Yeah, i don't know. It's just so hard, Jimmy. I can't trust anyone. My last relationship was just beyond horrible. And I don't know if I'm ready for that. Wow, that evening was just... horrible. He was so sweet, Jimmy. And I just couldn't say anything. I was flattered, really. But I was scared, too. And you know what I did? I ran. Left him without a single word. He's pissed as fuck."
"It's okay, Cat," Jimmy said and my head crashed hard against his chest as he pulled me into a warm hug, "he'll wait for you."
Somehow, I knew he would.

An hour later, Matt and I were on our way to Brian's house for our weekly hang out. If he was angry at me he was good at hiding it. We hadn't spoken since. Well, at least not really spoken. Just small talk.
My mom had prepared some spicy Indian noodle salad for us, and I held the bowl securely on my lap as Matt steered the car through the streets. It wasn't far to Brian's, but ever since Matt, who was the first one to turn 16, got his car, none of the guys ever walked anymore.

When we entered Brian's house, I was once again overwhelmed by the friendly atmosphere. I mean, Matt's parents liked us, but they weren't exactly happy with all the noise in their basement. My parents loved having us over, but they liked to go out when we came or just go to another room. Mama Suzy and Papa Gates, on the other hand, loved to hang out with us, to talk about music and everything that was going on.

The scent of Mama Suzy's famous blueberry apple pie filled the whole house, as well as the quick riffs the two Brian Haners were playing in the middle of the living room. "Caitlin, Matt," Mama Suzy greeted us with a hug, "It's good to see you guys again. How was the trip?"

After some minutes of small talk, Midget Boy arrived and the group was finally complete. "Guys, I have an announcement to make," he stated. "It's okay Johnny, no you're not an important member, so shut up and go to the Johnny Christ cell." We all laughed.
The Haner's house had a little secret door in the wall where there used to be a central heating or something, but now it was empty and sometimes we locked Johnny in there. Matt and I had sex in there, too, but that's another story.

"Matt," Johnny gasped, his head still shaking from laughing, "Why didn't you check your email for 10 days? Larry wrote you. He tried to call you today, but then he reached me." Matt looked surprised.
"Okay, so what's wrong?" Papa Gates asked.
"So the MTV awards are tomorrow in a week and they want us to present a new song."
Silence. Everyone was baffled, including me.

"Okay," Matt said finally, "we can do that. Big Bear is pretty much done. I mean, that's an epic piece." Everyone looked at him like he was an alien. Does he really think we can pull this off without...?
"Matt," Johnny finally said what we were all thinking, "who's gonna play the drums?" - "Uh, oh."
No-one seemed to know what to say.

"Me of course," someone said from the kitchen next door. Wait? What?
With ninja moves, karate kicks and two jumps that looked like he was being electrocuted, none other than Jimmy Sullivan walked into the living room.
"Uh, Jims, good to see you I guess," Papa Gates chuckled, "But how the fuck did you get into my house?" He just grinned and said, "The window was open and I followed the pie. Which, by the way, was delicious as always, Suzy." Why was he here?
"Dude, you're on strict rest. You're not gonna play the drums," Matt commanded, but Jimmy wouldn't have it. "I can and I will. Fuck you by the way!"

The guys started whispering excitedly, but I had better things to do.
"Jimbo, what happened?" I asked as I pulled him back to the kitchen. Haner's comment - as always - followed, but I chose to ignore him.
"I don't know Cat, she just didn't turn up," he replied.
"But..."
"No buts. She's not interested."
"I'm sorry, Jimbo."
"I'll live. At least for some more years I guess."

I felt so sorry for Jimmy. I knew he really liked Lizzie. But I thought she really likes him back, I mean why would she give him a kidney? There's clearly something wrong here ...

MATT'S POV

Two days later, we were in my basement, rehearsing Big Bear, or A Little Piece of Heaven as we called it now. We figured it out quickly. The strings and horns would be on play back, there was no way around it. The guys were my choir and Jimmy and I would sing the vocals. It was strange since Brian and Zack had nothing to do besides sing. There were just no guitars planned for the song. But we were nailing it.

There was just one thing: Jimmy might have been strong enough to play the drums, but he definitely couldn't sing to it. He was just too weak. Play back was not an option for him. We were musicians, we wanted to deliver real music. After a few times with Brian singing Jimmy's part, Jimmy suddenly exclaimed, "Matt! Call Cat. Give her one try. She's perfect for this."

Minutes later, she was here. Unstyled and still in her pajamas, she entered the room. Still, she was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. It was so hard to resist the urge to simply walk over and kiss her.
When will she finally make up her mind? I hope soon..., I thought as I let out a sigh. "Earth to Sanders, stop eye-fucking her, that's my job. Thought you were fucking her for real dude," Brian playfully hissed. Inside, I winced. Am I?

"Alright," I said loudly, "Cat, can you sing Big Bear?" "Give me the lyrics. I'll try."

After some more rehearsals, we knew. Cat would sing with me. It kept fascinating me how she had this powerful voice that had nothing to do with girly. You wouldn't think that of her if you saw her there, just this tiny, fragile creature with too big pajamas. Jimmy demanded that we do some kind of performance, so we did. We grabbed and stabbed and pretend-kissed each other whenever possible and when I apologized, I got down on my knees. It was epic, really.

We rehearsed some more and then decided it was good enough. Cat drove me home after that.

The whole drive home my mind was going berserk. I have to make her mine, I have to ask her again, I thought. I just have to. If not now, when?

She stopped the car in my driveway and I just looked at her, wondering what she'd do if I kissed her right there and then. She stared at me with a mixture of pain and longing and I hated myself for being such a coward. It wasn't like me at all to just not go for something I wanted and could easily get again, but it was Cat who was doing this to me.

She made me a different man, and even though I wasn't sure if I liked what she did to me, I knew with her I'd never go back to old habits. That was what made me even more sure, if that was even possible. It all seemed so easy. I knew I could lead a healthy, normal relationship if it was with her. Now if she only admitted to herself how much she wanted me...

"Matt, how about you get out my car?" She finally said. I took a deep breath. "How about you come with me and we talk a little?" I felt my voice shake. God, Caitlin Anderson, what the hell are you doing to me? And how are you doing it?

"I don't think that's a good idea, Matt."
Her words hit me like a train. How could she say something like that? Why was she pushing me away so much?

"But I do," I said firmly. I needed to get it out of my system. Now. I couldn't stand this situation. She needed to either come closer or go further away, I hated to have her in between. It was exhausting.

"Look, Matt," she sighed before continuing, "I don't know what else there is to say besides I don't want to be with you. I don't care about you that way."
Strangely, it didn't even hurt anymore to hear it, at least not like the first times I'd heard it. I knew she didn't mean it. She couldn't.

"You're lying, Cat. And you know it." For a split second, the look in her eyes told me I was right, but she pulled herself together right after that.
"You're pathetic. You can't take no for an answer, can you? GET. OUT. NOW!"
She slapped me.
As I stared at her, trying to process what she just said, I felt my eyes water. What the fuck went wrong?

Notes

Holy f*k I've been away for a VERY long time

My apologies to everyone who was waiting for my updates. The story is finished now and I'll upload the chapters frequently.

I might also have a new idea for a new story and I hope you guys are going to like it. If I ever start posting it, I'll make sure to notify you here.

Thank you for your sweet comments and encouraging messages. I missed this site!