MATT'S POV

I was so hurt. She had been nothing but distant the whole evening, when she knew I needed her more than anything. Why is she so distant all of a sudden? I didn't care.

I'd show her who I wanted to be mine, that little body would be shaking for me, and she would be screaming my name in mere minutes, hell she wouldn't be able to walk for days. Yeah, that's how I'm gonna mark my territory, I thought with a smirk, that's exactly what I need to feel better right now.

I grabbed her wrist and dragged her with me, mumbling a few things I probably didn't mean. She knew better than to upset me, so she just went with it. I tried to open the shabby door, and when it didn't open for the second time, I angrily punched it, breaking the lock.

"Matt!" Cat stared at me in pure shock. It was almost as if she didn't know me anymore. The thought of her being afraid of me when I should be the one to make her feel safe and secure hurt more than my knuckles.

What's gone into me? Seriously, Matt, get your shit together. Did I really just want to angrily screw her when she was afraid of rough sex anyway? Was I really going to treat her like Val for the past years? Hell, even she said it hurt, and that woman has a vagina looser than I don't even know what.
Suddenly, I was glad she looked at me so hurt. I wouldn't have stopped otherwise.
I pulled her into my arms and cradled my head at her neck.

I'm a mess. Even if she wanted to, I don't know how to have a normal relationship. To me it was fighting and then rough make up sex. I miss Val, and I know it was something real between us two, too, maybe not for the past year, but definitely... I'm a complete and utter failure as a human, I thought. Hot tears of anger, pain and disappointment started emerging from my eyes and I didn't even try to hide or suppress them. Slowly, Cat's arms snaked around my back, rubbing up and down my spine.

"There, there," she whispered, sounding ever so caring and patient, "That's the Matt I know again... Come on, let's walk to your bed."
Without letting go of her, I waddled backwards, and when I felt the matress with the back of my legs, I lifted her up and we both fell onto the bed. Immediately, I crawled closer again and for the next couple of hours, she just held me and stroked my hair as I stared at the broken door until I finally fell asleep.


I had a weird dream that night. I saw Cat and I walking on the beach, hand in hand, chasing some angel in a white dress. The forest started whispering things at us, just a maze of numbers and the words "don't look, Matt, don't look," over and over again. Suddenly, the angel turned around and I looked.

It was Val, and she looked incredibly scary. Her dress was stained with blood, and so were her hands and, strangely, her mouth. "You looked, Shadows, this shall be your punishment," the voices laughed, and suddenly Val vanished.

Next to me lay Cat, her blood slowly leaving her body, coloring the sand. I sank down on my knees and screamed until I felt a wave crashing down at me, abruptly entering my mouth and nose and taking me into the water with it.

"Matt!"


I woke up drenched in sweat. "Matt, Cat looked at me with a concerned expression, "you kept screaming." She was still wearing her dress and even her shoes, so I knew she probably hadn't left the bed since I dragged her there. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I had a nightmare."

I knew exactly what the dream was trying to tell me. Or rather, what my subconsciousness wanted to tell me by making me have that dream:
I could only do one thing, mourn over Val or choose Cat. The first option was something I was supposed to, and something I'd done at home. The second one, yet, was what I wanted.


CAT'S POV

"Could you pass me the salt?" I asked, and Matt snapped out of his trance again. He'd been staring at the ocean for a while, completely lost in the play of the waves. "I'm sorry," he just said and I repeated my question. We were sitting in our hotel restaurant, having breakfast and, until Matt started staring at the sea all philosophically, a nice and light conversation.

"You looking forward to snorkeling?" Matt asked with a dimpled smile, and for a split second, I lost myself in it. This was someone I knew so well, yet didn't know at all. He changed so much, not necessarily for the better or worse, he just grew up.

Though, I thought with a dirty grin, his bed qualities definitely improved. Goood, that was so hot. A hot wave of extasy roamed my body at the mere thought of that night...

"I guess I'll take that as a yes, seing as you've been smiling like a retard for the past minute," Matt chuckled, and this time I was the one to snap back to reality. "Uhm, sure."

A few hours later, we were strolling toward the pier, where a small boat was already waiting for us. "Mr Sanders, Miss Anderson, it is a pleasure to take you snorkeling," a young boy, maybe 14 years old, greeted us before motioning for us to get on the boat. "Alright, let's get it on," I said and jumped a little in excitement. I'd never been snorkeling before.

After a short and bumpy ride out into the open, the boy threw out the anchor and told us we were at a perfect spot. Matt quickly explained to me how to put on the mask and how to breathe through the snorkel. We jumped into the water and he immediately started looking, while I helplessly floated through the waves. I was scared, how was I supposed to enjoy this?

"You look under the water, Madam," the boy shouted. Might as well, I thought and moved my head a little, so my face was under the water.
Immediately, I was mesmerized by the world hidden in the ocean. There were colorful reefs with corals and algae and hundreds of different fish. There were big ones, about double the size of my head, and smaller ones, the tiniest being about the size of my little finger nail. They were grey, red, blue, turquoise ... God, they're all so pretty!

Matt reached out for my hand and we just floated above the reefs while he occasionally pointed to a water turtle, a small octopus and some other fish, that were somehow rare or something. I loved all of them, honestly. There I am snorkeling for the first time, exploring the ocean, with the most handsome man on my hand. Can life get any better? And is it going to stay this gold?

After a while, Matt said we were getting onto the boat and I couldn't believe how he could just leave this little world behind. When I asked him, he just laughed and replied, "But Cat, that's the thing about that beauty. It will still be here tomorrow. And whenever you feel like it, you can visit and watch for as long as you like. It's not hurting anyone, it's actually pretty cheap once you've got the stuff and it's so relaxing."

And then I wondered why I never noticed just how beautiful it was to listen to his voice, and how poetically he could talk, and how his eyes sparkled when he talked about something he loved.

Notes

Helloooo my lovies, and there goes my first update in 2016!

I hope you guys all had a nice New Year's Eve :) Have a happy new year 2016, I wish you all the best :)

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So, Matt decided against his usual anti rage method and Cat seems to be growing feelings. What do you think?