MATT'S POV

There are two kinds of naps. The ones when you wake up fully energized after half an hour and you feel like you could easily run a double marathon or lift twice as much as usual, and then there's the ones that leave you groggy with a terrible headache and a dry mouth after a few hours.

When I woke up on the plane, I was surprised to notice that nearly eight hours had passed since we departed. And I wasn't feeling bad at all. In fact, the only thing that felt kind of gross was my mouth, since I hadn't brushed my teeth before falling asleep. Good thing I packed my toothbrush.

Cat was up, too. She was listening to music with her big headphones and flipping through a fitness magazine. I watched her in awe. She was so lost in her own world that she didn't notice my awkward staring. It was cute how she tapped her foot to the rhythm of the song, and she mouthed words.
I was pretty sure whe was listening to something old, she'd always had a faible for that. What was that, Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkel? Oh yeah, that's it. She was beautiful, I had to admit that. Even though she was wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, and no make-up.


Suddenly, she turned towards me. "Hey there, princess Rosebud, finally awake?" she asked with a smile. Damn, did she see me staring? "Yeah, that was kinda overdue, seing as I didn't sleep at all last night..." I chuckled, and then I quickly excused myself to the bathroom.

There was a pretty girl standing in line before me. Her shorts enhanced her long, slim legs and a top showed off her wide cleavage with perfect breasts - no bra. She was sexy, maybe not Cat, but definitely... Damn, Sanders, get Cat out of your head. Maybe I could have this little number and then stop thinking about fucking Cat for Christ's sake...

"Excuse me, you're M Shadows, right?" the brunette asked with a thick accent. Italian? She turned to face me and man, she was extremely beautiful. M Shadows? Hell yeah, that I am. But you can call me sex God. "Guilty as charged. Call me Matt," I said and showed her my sexiest grin.

Oh yeah, how do you like my dimples, huh? I always have that effect on women. They're all the same. "Uhm, this may seem blunt," she begun with an apologetic smile as someone finally left the lavatory, "but why don't you join me in there?" Jackpot. Man, that was easy. Almost too easy. I did my best to look surprised before saying, "well, I didn't expect that, but..." I threw her a dirty grin and looked to both sides, no-one seemed to look. Now or never.


We both entered the tiny space and I locked the door. Before I knew it, I was pressed against it, her mouth attacking mine. I could feel the sparks of her lust, could feel how much she wanted me and how she was like wax in my hands. She pulled away from our kiss breathlessly and gasped, "It's Toni. From Antonia. So you'll know what to scream when you come."

She winked at me before rejoining my lips, this time determinedly slipping her tongue into my mouth. My hands roamed her body, touched her nice ass and firm breasts as she assaulted my neck with kisses and bites. That woman surely knew how to turn a man on. Soon, she touched my chest, painfully slowly feeling down my abs.


She rapidly, suddenly pushed down my pants and boxers, letting out a gasp at the sight of my manhood. Let's just say those little fangirls (including Syn Gates) assuming I have a horse cock are right. Toni dropped down on her knees, and I thought, hell yeah, I'm beyond ready for this little number.

But when she started taking my dick into her mouth, I suddenly saw Cat before my eyes. What the hell? Focus, Sanders. You're deep in some random hot chick's mouth and now you start thinking about Cat? What is it about this woman that always turns you on? And why isn't anyone enough if it's only about sex? And who the hell told YOU to stop?

Toni looked up at me with a sad expression. "You don't like it, do you?" she said, and she was right. It wasn't what I was looking for. In fact, I didn't know what I was looking for, but this wasn't it. I mumbled an apology before pulling up my pants and boxers and quickly leaving the room.


CAT'S POV

Should it bug me that Jimmy and I kissed? Seriously, I have no clue. I know he's not in love with me, and hell, I know I'm not in love with him, but does that change anything? Even though I realized that it wasn't going to change anything about Jimmy and me, it did change something in me.

Before Jimmy, the last man to ever lay hands on me was Dave. Yes, the Dave. And ever since, he was everything I thought of. I still felt his lips on mine and his breath on my neck, but somehow, now his spell seemed less prominent. Of course he was still the last person I slept with, and it left bad memories that needed to be fixed as well, but strangely, this awkward kiss with Jimmy seemed to have soothened the pain a little.

Maybe it was time to move on. Maybe I needed to find someone I trusted and just do it, the whole thing, just for the spell to be over. But I knew one thing, it wasn't going to be Jimmy. Matt? Nah. Rather nah.

Though, the voice inside my head inserted, you trust him and he's heartbroken, trying to be fixed as well. He's hot, he's single and it'd probably heal us both. Plus, there wouldn't be any strings attached, right? God, I shouldn't be thinking about him that way. Suddenly ashamed, I turned towards his seat. He was still gone. Strange. Maybe I should check up on him. But he wouldn't get lost in a damn airplane, would he? He's got nowhere to go, after all.


And until he came back, I hoped my strange thoughts about him would subside. It didn't even take five more minutes for him to return. His cheeks were glowing and for some unknown reason, he frowned as he sat down. Did I see anger? Why was he angry?

But then again, he was Matt. He had a temper that changed like the April weather, sometimes thunderstorms and sunshine in mere hours. So I didn't interpret too much into his behavior, figuring if I used Val's rain-tactic, the Matt-fire would burn down quickly.

I turned to the bord entertainment and started another movie. The main character reminded me of Dave. How did I even dare think I was over him, I thought angrily, but I knew there were some rays of sun coming through the dark clouded layer of the mysterious spell he'd put on me.


Our last days were full of hatred, full of affection, yet love. It's incredible to describe how many emotions every single syllable tasted like.

It was yet another weekend at Dave's apartment in Long Beach, and yet again he didn't allow me to go home. I missed my family, missed Jimmy, missed the other guys.
"You can't go home this weekend," he urged, eyes wide open with shock when I asked him. The white of his eyes was incredibly prominent, almost no contrast against his gleaming light blue irises, and I could see the madness in them.

I knew I had to leave him, yet I couldn't imagine life without him. He'd made smart moves by first secluding me from my friends and family step by step, taking some more of my time each month, until I had almost no-one left. Jimmy was the only person that remained. I hadn't seen the guys in months, and Jimmy only some nights when he was sleeping and I snuck out, and occasionally we texted.

He'd seen my bruises, he'd urged me not to go back, but at this time, I feared for my life. Dave had begged me to come back, and I'd stayed strong, but then he'd threatened me with a knife in the middle of the night and I had no choice.

"You can't go home," Dave repeated, pointing to my scars, "they'd see you. And they'd just worry. You know it's not gonna happen again. Caitlin, you know I'm only doing this 'cause I love you."

I nodded, tears streaming down my face. "I love you," he said again, almost as if the words would somehow have more meaning if he said them often enough, "and I'm a bad person, and I don't deserve you." He pulled up my skirt and touched my bare ass. I wasn't allowed to wear any underwear.

Please no, I thought as he forced his fingers inside of my hurting, swollen sex, and a sob escaped from my lips. I heard him sharply inhale behind me. Fuck, I thought as I bit my lip. He turned me around, his expression full of anger, full of hate. "Don't you want my love? You don't deserve my love!" he hissed, and then he pushed me down the stairs and everything went black.

Two days later, the guys turned up at his door, beat him up and brought us both to the hospital, where they picked me up after some days and threatened him some more, and he hasn't called or turned up ever since.

Notes

Hey, there I am again!

What do you guys think? Some more about Cat's sad past, and a fruitless attempt of Matt trying to get his mind off Cat,

See you guys soon :)