I tipped on my toes once again and placed a gentle kiss on his lips; the gentleness on my kiss was replaced with eagerness. After a few minutes I put myself together and slowly pulled my lips away from his, unwillingly, so that I could look him in the eyes.
Why now? Why did he have to leave? How come have I been so blind? We weren’t friends, we weren’t brother and sister, we were two pieces of a whole. I loved him with all my heart, body and soul! I was so stupid that I needed the kiss to realize what was in front of me the whole time. We should have done this weeks ago.

“Why now?”, I finally asked.

“I’m leaving… I’ve been dying to do that for weeks… “, he smiled.

“Why haven’t you?”, I was getting desperate.

“I didn’t know if you felt the same way… I didn’t want to ruin everything with you just because I’m in love with you. But today was my last chance, so I took it.”, he smiled and stroked my cheek with his thumb.

I pulled him closer by his collar and kissed him once again. He was leaving tomorrow, I couldn’t kiss him enough… I was desperately in need of him closer to me; I couldn’t get enough of his kisses, his embrace, his cuddling…

“You should have kissed me sooner!”, I whispered across his lips. “I wish I could go with you tomorrow! This doesn’t change anything, I still can’t go… My life is here in Portugal, at least until I graduate!”, a tear fell down my cheek.

Jimmy wiped away that tear from my face with a gentle kiss. “I know what this means to you, I know how important it is… I won’t even ask you to give up everything you ever dreamed about to make me happy… I would like that, ‘though!”, he smirked, lifting my chin up to look at him.

“I’ll miss you so much…”, I burst into tears. Jimmy hugged me tightly, but to me it still wasn’t close enough.

“Shhh… I’m still here…”, he tried to calm me down, fondling my hair.

“You won’t be tomorrow! Why did you have to kiss me? I was fine without acknowledging what I really feel about you!”, I was just babbling, I didn’t really mean it. I was actually glad that he found the guts to kiss me; I was just having a hard time accepting a goodbye after realizing how much I loved him and how much I’d miss him. I mean, he was leaving the next day and we wouldn’t have that much time to ourselves after this! I was just heartbroken; I would lose him even before I had the chance to enjoy us as a couple.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry it bothered you, but I don’t regret it!”, he seemed suddenly upset.

“What bothers me is watching you leave, don’t you see it? I don’t wanna lose you and I’m about to…”, I burst into tears again. I really needed to stop that, my emotions were all messed up, I was a mess… I was making it harder for him, I wasn’t being fair! “I don’t believe in long distance relationships.”, I leaned my head in his chest.

“We can make it work… I'm not a believer either, but I really think we can make it work! I’ve never felt this way about anyone… It’s like we are linked…I have no doubts about us; I know for sure that we are meant to be!”, he raised my chin up and kissed me.

“I totally get what you’re saying; I feel the exact same thing… You definitely are my better half, no doubts about that… But I can’t be in a long distance relationship, Jimmy! My heart and soul will always be with you but I would still miss your touch, your skin against mine… It’s just not enough for me… I want it all!”, another tear fell down my face, I just couldn’t stop crying.

“So… You don’t want to be my girlfriend?”, he was disappointed.

GREAT!!! Someone kill me now! I kept hurting him! DAMN ME!

“I don’t! Not until we are really together… I’m sorry but talking to you every day through skype isn’t good enough for me! I want to be able to touch you, kiss you, fondle you, look at you… I just hope you can wait for me…”, I forced him to look at me so I could stare into those beautiful eyes.

“We better get going… It’s getting dark; they’ll be worried if we don’t show up soon…”, he was trying to avoid that line of conversation. He reached my hand, and intertwined his in mine.

Jimmy’s POV

After she fell asleep, I sneaked out of the tent. I really needed to talk to Brian.

“Brian, are you awake, ‘Bro?”, I called before I entered his tent.

“Jimmy? What’s up?”, he sneaked out of his tent with a worried face.

“I’m sorry, dude! I just need your advice…”

“No apologies needed, you know that, ‘bro! What’s on your mind?”

“Cat! Cat is on my mind, my heart and every single piece of me! I’m in love with her, man!”, I sighed.

“Really?”, he teased. “Come on, man! We all know that… So what’s really the problem? She loves you too, so that’s not it… What have you talked about on the beach?”

“We kissed, we held, we shared some feelings… But she’s not up for a long distance relationship, ‘bro! She says she loves me, but that a long distance relationship is not enough for her! I don’t know what to think of it!”

“I kind of get what she means…”, he confessed.

“How in hell can you say that? You and Michelle are apart during the tours!”, I burst.

“Yeah… But Michelle and I have some bases that you two don’t! You kissed her one day and in the next you leave! You didn’t have enough time to enjoy yourselves as a couple… You’ve been friends for almost a month, but boyfriend/girlfriend for a few hours! Can you blame her? She’ll be studying next year; you’ll be on the other side of the world working on a new record… It’s not enough to commit… Just saying, ‘bro! But she loves you, we can tell by the way she looks at you, by the way she moves around you, it’s like you two are coordinated!”, He explained it to me.

“Do you think I should…”

Cat’s POV

We were on our way to the airport; I was driving that old van and Jimmy was sitting next to me, with his arm around my waist. The goodbye was near, and I could feel my heart shatter.
We arrived to the airport, they got their stuff from the van and I followed them to the check in area. They got their tickets; we still had half an hour to say our goodbyes.
We were messing around trying not to get too serious, when the attendants of the airport announced their flight was next, and they should get to the gates. I hugged them all, kissed their cheeks, but my hand never left Jimmy’s. It was when I last said goodbye to Brian that I realized that Jimmy was hugging them too. I stared at him frowning.

“This was my surprise to you…”, he smiled.

Notes

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