My Fucking Nightmare

I woke up that morning on Matt’s couch with Bishop licking my hand outrageously loud. The sun beamed in on me from the front window and as I began to come to, I heard the snoring from the other side of the room. Looking over my shoulder I saw Brian spread eagle on the other couch, one leg cocked up over the back, one hand covering his face. What a fucking dork, I thought, wiping the sleep from my eyes. I had the worst headache. I don’t remember what happened. But someone had put a blanket over me.
On the floor beside the coffee table that was littered with ash and cigarette butts and beer cans and bottles was Johnny, sleeping on his belly. Matt’s living room floor was made with carpet which wouldn’t probably have felt so bad for him. A few feet away was Zack. I watched the drool trickle from his lip crease and couldn’t help but giggle to myself. I shuffled so that I was sitting up and Bishop climbed up on the couch with me for belly rubs. Huge ass dog tried to sit in my lap. I pushed him away gently and ruffled his ears before standing up and fighting gravity to find my balance. Oh shit, I was still drunk.
Okay, what the hell happened last night? Why didn’t I remember anything after talking with Jamie? And what happened to everyone else? There was a huge crowd. That I remembered. The two sets of twins, the band. Jamie and maybe Gina, but it was starting to come up fuzzy. I needed water. And…apparently, once I caught my balance and felt the spinning, a toilet.
Too bad Jimmy already beat me to it. He was passed out in the tub, snoring away. I deduced with little thinking capability that the Maddens and Berrys left by cab, or hopefully by some kind of designated driver. Shit, I hoped things didn’t get too crazy. If these guys were all as messed up as they looked, I was worried about finding Matt somewhere he shouldn’t have been. First, I stumbled to the back of the house to let Bishop out and to check the pool area. No one was out there, thankfully. I proceeded to the kitchen sink where I splashed some cool water on my face. The dizziness was finally subsiding, and for that I was grateful, but there was no way to tell how long these guys would be sleeping for.
I had no way of getting myself home and had no cash for a cab. Harriet didn’t drive, nor did she care to, so I was essentially stuck here until Brian was awake and functional enough to drive me home. First I had to find Matt and anyone else that could still have been there. I thought one of the boys was starting to come to, however instead I was met with flatulence and uncomfortable shuffling on the floor. I rolled my eyes and kept true down Matt’s hall to find him face down on his bed. Sighing with relief, I walked back out to his living room to begin tidying up the god awful mess we all left before crashing about.
I first wrapped Brian in the blanket that was wrapped around me. He snored louder than before, twitching every time I poked the blanket around him to tuck in. He shuffled around the couch and lay still on his side, his head drooped down over the side of the bed so if he vomited he wouldn’t choke. I should have made sure Matt was the same way before I walked back from his bedroom. My head hurt way too much to want to go back in there, but I forced myself. What was weird was that the girls had left. Perhaps they’d given the others a safe ride home.
That sickening thought crossed my mind again when I remembered it was only the five band members I’d found. Although they were a group of grown men who could make their own decisions, under the influence or not, so I put it out of my mind for the time being. Out of the blue I heard groaning from what sounded like the bathroom as I was walking back to Matt’s bedroom, and found Jimmy sitting up on the floor holding his head with one hand, supporting his body with the other. “Oh, hey.” He muttered, wiping several strands of hair from his eyes. “Got the time?”
“Uh, just past eleven. What the hell happened last night?”
He yawned and stretched, struggling to get off the floor. Surely he was sore. “It was wild, that’s all I know.”
Nodding in agreement, I helped him off the floor. “I blacked out early. Must have been a good night, huh.”
“You’re telling me.”
“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know if the Maddens drove home last night do you? Or the Berrys?”
He shook his head no. “I think I remember Jamie taking them home. Or that’s what she said she was doing. Should probably call her.” I laughed and we walked out of the bathroom together. Rather, Jimmy shuffled behind me, using the walls for support. I assumed he was used to waking up this way. He used Matt’s cordless to dial his wife and waited a minute for her to pick up. They talked for a short bit on the deck. I could tell she was pissed since he pulled away from the phone several times. Can’t say I blame her.
Once he was done with his conversation he walked back in with Bishop and set the phone back on its base. “Guess she’s making me find my own way home. Left about four this morning, we were all going strong she said. Music was blaring loud enough for people to make noise complaints. No wonder you don’t remember anything!”
I grimaced from the pain of my worsening headache and bent over the coffee table to pick up the cigarette butts and put them in a plastic cup that had tipped over at some point and spilled whiskey and coke all over. “So, is this what you guys do? Just throw parties in the middle of the week, get completely fucked up?”
Shrugging, he helped me clear off some beer cans and bottles, stacking them in an empty box by the front door. “This was the first big one since we got back from tour. Benji and Joel were in town so Matt invited them down. Matt and Jason Berry just kind of showed up. We probably won’t have one like that for a while. How are you feeling, anyway?”
“Like hell in a hand basket. You don’t look so good yourself.”
He laughed quietly and wiped down the sticky spill from the tipped cup. “What are you talking about? I’m feeling fucking awesome!” Beneath him, Johnny made a little groan and lashed out with his leg. I guessed he was about to wake up, but again, he remained stone cold unconscious. Kind of impressive really, since Zack started to come around. He opened his eyes a couple times and winced in pain, sort of like the both of us first did. “Oh, hey little buddy!” Jimmy sang, and threw a couple cans at him. “Feeling alright?”
Zack flipped him off and put his head back down to rest a moment. “Oh, oh. Looks like Vengeance is down and out. Oh well, I’ll just roll him over. How’s your hubby?”
I hadn’t even checked Brian since I put the blanket on him. But he’d stayed in the same position as he did, snoring softer, and drooling a little. “I think he’s gonna feel it when he wakes up.”
Jimmy caught my attention with his mischievous stare from the corner of my eye. “He thinks the world of you, you know. He’s my best friend in the whole fucking world. I hope he makes you just as happy, you know.”
“He does. He definitely does.” I moved some hair away from his face and bent down to plant a kiss on his forehead. I could smell the alcohol in his skin. It was impressive, actually, how he wasn’t in a fucking coma. “Just hoping that this whole party thing isn’t all I’m about to walk into.”
“Oh, fuck no. Like I said. What happened last night probably won’t happen again for months. Years, if that. He’s gonna feel like fucking shit when he wakes up, so I guarantee you he won’t even think about this. Sorry you had to see us all like this…the first time we meet you.”
I chuckled and waved my hand, as if to say oh, it’s no worry. “I’ve had my share of college parties.”
“Well, no matter what we do as a group, I know for a fact that when he’s alone all he does is talk about you. He’ll text me about it all the fucking time now. Sometimes I get a little worried.”
“Oh?”
He cleared his throat and brought some more garbage to the kitchen. “Yeah, I mean this would be the first time he’s had a relationship like this. Aside from his last high school girlfriends and a couple mutuals along the way, I’m worried he’ll want to move fast. And I hope he doesn’t scare you away. Because you’re perfect together. He couldn’t take his eyes off you last night.” My heart fluttered. “Brian’s my best friend. I want all the happiness in the world for him. And if that’s what you can give him, I will love you as much as I love Brian. You’re part of my fucking family now.”
“Funny, cuz that’s what Jamie said last night.”
“Well, it’s nothing else except true. You’ll hear those exact words from everyone else in this band! If not, then I’ll eat my shirt.” On the floor Zack groaned again and sat up. “Oh, too loud for you, champ?”
He muttered something I couldn’t understand and crawled to his feet, staggering for a minute. “You talk so fucking loud, Jim. What’d I miss?”
“Not much, just cleaning up. Hey, why don’t we get a big old brunch on the go?” Jimmy called back as he walked into the kitchen and opened up the fridge. “Matt’s got all the bacon and eggs in America. Might just wake these other bastards up too.”
Zack belched and stretched his arms and neck. “Fuck, I should get home. Gina’s probably livid.”
“She’s actually at my place with Jamie right now. Talked to them a little while ago.”
Nodding in acknowledgment, Zack joined us in the kitchen to grab a glass of icy water. “Fuck, my head. Some bender last night, huh?”
I didn’t say much at first. My mind was basically going over what Jimmy said, along with what Jamie did. The living room was in decent condition, so I was pleased. The kitchen looked like a bomb went off, but I was too hungry to start on it without eating first. So while Jimmy whipped up some aromatic breakfast foods, I hoped that Brian would wake up soon so I could go home and wash up. God knows what state my hair was in. I hoped Harriet wasn’t freaking out about my absence.
As the smell of bacon began flooding through the house, I heard movement in the living room and checked around the corner to find Matt stumbling half-naked past Johnny on the floor and Brian on the couch. I was surprised to see how much ink he had on his chest. More than Brian, anyway. And he was so fucking jacked. Instant arousal. But like Brian, I could smell the whiskey on his breath from five feet away. “Morning all.” He muttered monotonously. I could hear the regret in his voice as it was evident that it wasn’t just a headache he was suffering from, but nausea as well. “Melissa, hi. I thought you went home with the girls last night.”
“No, remember Brian asked her to stay? You kept pouring more booze in her cup. She kept spilling it. What a lightweight!” Jimmy hooted. Matt winced. And I cringed a little bit, remembering now that it was my fault there was so much spilled drink in the living room. “Morning to you too, Shads.”
He growled and receded back to the living room, likely heading for the bathroom to pop into a shower. Just as I suspected the water began running.
“Shit, I hope I didn’t make a fool of myself.”
“Nah, you’re a natural.” Zack piped up, passing an adorable smile. “You must not remember much, though. I’d say there’s at least two bottles of Jack that you finished yourself. Minus some drinks being spilled. Fucking trooper, girl.”
I was definitely feeling two bottles of Jack; that was for sure. Jimmy set down a huge plate of bacon and eggs over easy on the cleanest part of the bar counter in front of us. Brian coughed from the living room and I heard him moaning from the sunlight glinting into his eyes. The leather cushions squeaked under his weight. He got to his feet and found his way into the kitchen. He ignored the plate of food and walked straight over to me for a morning kiss. Jimmy was totally right. “Good morning, beautiful. Have a good night?”
“Yeah, I think so. Don’t remember much of it, but everyone’s been saying I had a good time.”
He wrapped my body in his arms, causing me to gag from the stench of stale liquor and cigarette smoke. “I’m glad you stayed over with us. Been up long?”
“Uh, about an hour. Jimmy helped me clean the living room. We were going to clean the kitchen too but we decided to eat first.”
Smiling, Brian played with my hair with one hand and picked up a piece of bacon with the other. “You’re sweet. We can tidy up and then I’ll take you home, if you want. Just tell me when you’d like to go.”
I nodded and helped myself to some bacon. “I could use a shower, that’s for sure.” And he looked at me with a “we could shower together”look. I don’t know how else to describe that expression, but his body language was so readable. And I was sure he could read my “I’m okay with that” expression, although mine was less subtle, more of a wink really. After that I could tell he was desperate to leave and have me all to his self. “Are you even able to drive?” I asked him, munching on another strip.
“Yeah, I think so. Don’t feel too bad.” Alright, I wasn’t gonna pester him about it.
Zack polished off the last piece and we all hopped to it, picking shit up off the counter top, wiping down spills. The whole fucking house was a sticky mess. Around that time I heard the water stop running and a few minutes later Matt emerged again wearing an MMA shirt and some comfortable pants. “Aw, thanks guys.” He snarled, noticing that he missed the food.
Once the majority of the mess was taken care of, Brian was insisting on leaving. Jimmy and Zack asked him for a ride home, considering we all knew their wives were too pissed to drive all the way over again. Brian sighed out of mild frustration but agreed, and within a half hour we were all out the door. They departed by bumping fists with Matt and in turn he gave me a bit of a weak bear hug, probably due to his hangover. Either way, I was glad to have left.
We dropped Zack and Jimmy off, giving them the same courtesy we gave Matt. They couldn’t hug me through the cab of the truck, so we all fist bumped and carried on. Brian and I were silent on the way home and I could feel that overbearing sexual tension. It made me a little bit nervous, honestly, considering we were both a little bit ill. I wasn’t sure how rough he could get, with his sheer size and all. Still, I took it with a grain of salt and anticipated the action.
We pulled up to the curb of my apartment complex. He parked the truck and got out, and then helped me down. We walked hand in hand to my door and I buzzed up, hoping to god Harriet was home, seeing as I forgot my keys last night. She answered after three attempts, and I sort of regretted her being home. “Maybe I ought to just grab a set of clothes and we can go back to your place. I mean Pinkly’s there, isn’t she?”
“She went to my sister’s for a couple nights. Just after I dropped you off back here she came and grabbed her.” suddenly I didn’t feel so bad. “However, I do like that idea. Might get a little awkward with Harriet being home.”
“Harry’s gonna have to get used to your company sooner or later, but for right now I think it’s best if she kept her distance.” When we reached my door I opened it and found Harriet in pajamas, hair askew, living the life any recently single girl would at her age. “Hey.” I shouted to her over the music playing from the TV. She waved and resumed her dancing in our living room. Brian and I rushed back to my bedroom where I stuffed some clothes into a plastic bag. “Wonder if she’s pissed that I went to a party at Matt’s place and she didn’t know.”
Brian shrugged and pulled me up into his arms for an embracing kiss. “Yeah, I wouldn’t bring it up unless she does.”
“Probably a good idea.” We left as fast as we went in. I waved bye to Harriet, but she was occupied in her own world. Likely pissed. I’d find out sooner or later. We got into the truck and sped away at lightning speed. Reached Brian’s in a record thirteen minutes. He helped me out of the truck as he did at my place and pulled me to his door. Within seconds of unlocking and opening the door we were in each other’s arms, smashing faces together. Oh, man, the tension must have been felt by half the fucking city.
Was this love? Was this what I wanted from a relationship? Okay, why would I have even asked that? Of course this was what I wanted. Endless hours of hot, passionate sex with a man whom I shouldn’t have ever met. And to think that I could have been anyone…
Enough of that. I needed to focus on this. Usually my body would have just indulged in the attention it was receiving, but with all the alcohol in my bloodstream this morning, it grew more and more evident that my body was having none of that.
We ripped each other’s clothes off and turned the water on, nearly slipping in eagerness to shower off the night’s recklessness, and carry on to whatever rested ahead of us. I realized I didn’t have body wash or shampoo, so I cut my losses and just wet my hair. I’d have to smell like a guy until my next shower, and it was how he smelled. I wasn’t about to bitch and gripe about it. He lathered my body in gel and I did the same to him, observing every inch of his skin. Marvelling about how perfect he seemed to be. Regardless of how sick I was, I needed him then and there.
Brian turned the water off and scooped me up in a fresh towel before carrying me to his bedroom. The sheets were still in shambles from the other night. I felt him grow beneath me, his hardness poking me in the spine. Ho boy, this was going to get wild.
He toweled me off and tossed it to the side of the bed, ravenously climbing over me. I grabbed his face and pulled him closer, shivering as the cool air poured in from the open window. His hand travelled south where it hit my navel and several long fingers explored me, teasing me. He grabbed a condom from the box on his nightstand. I grabbed it from him and tore it open, desperate to put it on him. We didn’t hesitate from there. He curled his arms under me and pulled himself close. I guided him inside me and felt the wicked mass enter all the way. I let out an aroused squeal and listened to him do the same. It was so much hotter when guys made noise. I was nowhere near let down.
Like the first time, he started thrusting slow and steady, eventually speeding them up and packing more power. He grunted each time he pushed and I dug my nails into his back harder the louder he got. I heard him whisper my name once, and then again, and again after that. Brian kissed my neck, bit at my earlobe. He pulled himself upwards so as to slow down and push deeper, but kissed all the way down to my breast as he did so. Oh my god, he was a fantastic lover.
As he started picking up speed, I began feeling that wonderful tension that meant an orgasm was well on its way. A few minutes later, I squealed and cried out and grabbed at his sheets, causing him to follow suit. I watched as his face changed to millions of little expressions, twitching with every pulse of sensation that shot through his body. He collapsed beside me in a trembling heap, wheezing and huffing for breath. “You’re a goddess in my arms, Melissa. I love you.”
At first I was shocked to hear the words, but the longer I waited to say something, the more they made sense. And the more I felt them. “I can’t get enough of you, Brian. I love you too.” Guess the cat was out of the bag.
We laid there for about an hour, watching each other breathe, giggling at little things. He wasn’t able to keep his hands off me. Whether he was brushing hair out of my face or wiping sweat from my cheek, I felt so comfortable. So alive and happy. I didn’t ever want to leave him here.
I felt guilty for feeling this way, as I felt bad for constantly leaving Harriet alone so often in the last couple weeks. I made it evident that I would have to leave soon, and I could tell he grew upset. “I hate it when I see you go.” He whispered.
“I hate leaving you.” I whispered back, hoping not to sound too emotional.
Just as I brushed my thumb over his cheek, he grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it. “What would you do if I asked you to move in with me? If I paid the remainder of your lease?” I was speechless. Tried forcing words out, but with no success. “You think it’s too soon.” He admitted. He didn’t hide the sadness.
“No, Brian. I really don’t. I feel like it wouldn’t be a bad idea. But I’m afraid that we don’t know that much about each other yet. How long do you think you can wait before I finally convince myself to do it?”
“As long as it takes, Melissa. I’m just tired of being alone.”
I sighed and sat up. “It’s generous of you wanting to pay me out, but I think we should wait. A month at least. Until some of the fog clears. It’s not that I think it’s a bad idea, babe. Don’t think I’m worried about that. It’s just that we only just said we loved each other. And that’s a huge step itself.”
He sat up with me and I was starting to see him build up tears. God, I felt terrible. “I—I understand. It’s been a long time, probably the only time I’ve ever said that to someone. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m trying to rush things. It’s just that…I’m crazy about you. I’m crazy about seeing you, spending time with you. I can wait as long as you want me to. Just please, tell me if you need me to back off.”
“No, not in a million years. Give it at least a couple weeks. Just understand that I’m as crazy about you. And I’m not going anywhere, Brian. I love you.”
He beamed and bent over to put his forehead against mine. “You’re worth the wait.”

Notes