Welcome to the Family

“They all look intimidating at first, if you’re not used to the scene, and you don’t seem to be. But I’m telling you, they all got hearts of gold. Especially Zacky, you’ll like him a lot”, Larry reassured me on our ride to wherever he was taking me. The day before, he’d simply called me and told me he would pick me up and take me to “them”. I'd rushedly packed my stuff. I couldn’t say that I wasn’t nervous, but then again, I was generally in a very good state at that time of my life. And even if it didn't work out, I figured it would be a great experience to live with the guys for two weeks nevertheless.

When I had told my parents what I was going to do, I had expected warnings and attempts to talk me out of it, but instead, my dad had put his arm around me and told me how proud he was of me for taking such a giant step, and that I could conquer the world. My mom had just cried, hugged me, and told me the same.

Larry and I had agreed that on the first day, he would accompany me to their house and introduce me to them, so we could get to know each other. In the evening, if everything went well, he would leave and we would go to a restaurant together to celebrate their last evening without their new diet program. I didn’t really know what to expect.
When Larry’s Volkswagen pulled up in the driveway of a huge mansion after about an hour long drive from my parents’ house in Lakewood, a suburb of Los Angeles, I could feel the nervousness kick in. It was locted at the edge of Huntington Beach in Orange County.

There was a van parked in front of the house, and just as we were to exit the car, a blond woman stormed out of the building, screaming a bunch of high-pitched insults, each of them at least containing the f-word once. She slammed the door of her car loudly and stalled the engine twice before driving away, almost hitting our car. “Don’t worry,” Larry explained with a sigh, “that was Valary. Since Matt, our singer, married her, I think no day has passed without them fighting.” I just nodded before we got out of the Volkswagen and entered the house.

Right after passing the door, I ran into a mountain of tattoos and meat. “Thicker than water”, the skin spelled out just at about my eye level. I took a step back and looked into an angry, but also hurt-looking face with sad, beautiful hazel eyes. “Whoa, watch where you fuckin goin, tiny lady”, he mumbled, more to himself than to me. “She gone?” he asked Larry, who turned up behind me. “Yeah, Matt, I’m sorry, she just left”, he replied, trying to force an empathizing smile. “Fucking hell”, the meat pile cursed, then turned to me.

He was tall, almost one and a half heads taller than me, and he was actually very muscular, especially his arms. They were all covered in tattoos, which gave him a rather wild appearance. This impression was even more emphasized by the silver plugs in both of his ears and a ring on his lower lip. His dark, short hair was messy, and he was only wearing black boxers. I had to fight the urge to stare at what was distinctly showing beneath his underpants. They must have started fighting just before… Yeah, I think we all know.

He looked at me from head to toes, then hissed at Larry and me: “Sorry, so not in the fucking mood.” Beefcake then turned around and stomped to a door, grabbing a beanie that was just lying on the floor of the entrance hall. Wow, what a nice way to say hello… I sighed. Suddenly, I wasn't so sure about being able to do it anymore. What if the others were like him, too?

“I’m sorry, Vicky, that was Matt, the singer… He’s usually a nice guy. It’s just… Jimmy was his closest friend, and Val always throwing tantrums isn’t really making it easier for him. Please don’t let this make you give up…” Larry practically begged me. “Don’t worry, I know what it’s like to lose someone. And believe me, I was even worse after my sister passed away…” I responded, but still intimidated by the tattooed big guy. “Alright, thank you. Now, let’s go meet the others, they’re expecting you in the living room – shall we?”

We walked through the same door that Matt-guy just stormed through, but there was no sign of him in the living room. There were three guys sitting neatly on a dark red leather couch in front of a giant TV. Right next to the red couch there was also a black one, and the two couches were forming an L in front of a huge plasma screen. There were also two dark wooden shelves with lots of DVDs, CDs and vinyls, a CD player and even an ancient-looking phonograph.

The guy sitting closest to me stood up and made his way to where I was standing. He was tall and tanned, and he had black messy hair, giving him a just-out-of-bed-look. It was longer than the other guys’, but suited him perfectly, along with the trimmed beard under his chin and his nose stud. The guy had nice light brown eyes and a very handsome smile. He reached for my hand and kissed it, well rather licked it, and introduced himself: “Hey, you must be the cook. I’m Brian Haner, but I go by the stage name Synyster fucking Gates. I’m the guitar god here.” He laughed and made a cocky gesture at himself before taking a step back. I just stood there awkwardly and dried the back of my hand on my jeans. He was definitely a funny guy, but I hoped he wasn't actually as cocky as he appeared to be in the beginning.

“Come on Haner, fuck you, she’s not a fucking cook,” the smaller one of the two remaining guys hissed, then stood up and made his way to me. I would definitely have to get used to that many swear words. The guy was short, definitely, and he had short, yellow-blond dyed hair with black parts on the sides. As far as I saw, he was piercing-free. He had dark brown eyes and appeared to be very nice. “Hey, Vicky, right? I’m Johnny Seward, bass player. My stage name is Johnny Christ. I’m glad there’s finally someone even smaller than me”, he chuckled. He acted hesitating when shaking my hand, putting on a playfully engrossed face. "Ew, can't believe I'm touching something Haner licked..." "Well," Brian shot back, "then you probably shouldn't touch your girlfriend anymore..." The guys broke out in laughter.

The last of them stood up. He had black hair which he wore to one side, so his forehead was covered. He had deep green eyes and a nose ring. “Hi, Zack Baker here, or Zacky Vengeance. Play the guitar. Nice to meet you. Wish we met some other time, when I’m not devastated about someone dying, but whatever.” Zacky returned to his spot on the couch without really looking at me.
I mustered the tattooed guys, who were now staring at me in anticipation. I took a deep breath. “Hi guys, pleasure to meet you all. My name is Victoria Harper, I’m from Lakewood, but I was actually born in Saalfeld, Germany. I lived there for about 6 years, but we moved to the States before I started elementary school. I just graduated college. If you’re nice to me, I will from now on be your dietician, which, like Mr. Gates here already implied, also includes preparing meals. I minored in psychology, which basically means if anyone of you really wants to talk, I know some ways to make it easier for you, but I’m not a shrink. Yeah… and I’m allergic to the word ‘fuck’,” I heard myself say.

“All right, we’ll watch our tongues, I guess,” Brian laughed. Johnny offered me a drink and I told him I wanted some water. We spent the rest of the afternoon talking, but not about the ceased, just getting to know each other, and I found myself liking all of them. They were open and easy to be with. Eventually, Brian, who proved not to be cocky at all, showed me around the house while the other two were getting ready for dinner. After having seen the living room, the three very messy bathrooms, the kitchen and the dining room, both still very dirty, he motioned towards a hall accessible from the living room, where there were two doors to the right and two to the left.

“Sleeping rooms. I don’t think you want to see this, I mean, I can show you mine, but they’re just… Dirty and smelly, so I’d rather not”, he chuckled. “Nah, I think I’m good,” I laughed. “I’ll just tell you who’s who, okay? So the back ones are me and Zacky, I’m on the right side, he’s on the left side. Right next to him is Johnny, and the right door in the front belongs to Shadows, I think you met him, but he’s moody today. Did he even introduce himself properly?” Shadows? Was that meat pile? “Uhm, you mean Matt?” I asked, “Saw him briefly, didn’t talk” “Yeah, son of a fucking bitch, I’ll go fetch him right now,” Brian stated angrily and stomped toward the first door to the right.

I didn’t know why, but I felt kind of excited at the thought of handsome Matt shaking my hand… What the hell, I thought to myself, he’s freaking married. And he’s the only one who hasn’t been nice to me, so why, why did I find myself so drawn to this guy?
“Gates, what you want?” Matt bellowed, obviously still angry, just seconds after Brian entered his room. “Shads, I wanted to introduce you to the dietician, you up for that?” Silence. I had to swallow thickly.

“Alright… anyway, we’re going out for dinner tonight, you coming?” Silence. Wow, that guy definitely was a douche bag. But a very, very handsome one, the voice inside my head shot back. Damn, get yourself together, I thought.
“You know what I don’t even fucking care, I think I can handle my own diet better than some kinda fucking dietician who looks like she’d fucking break if you hugged her tightly. Come on dude, she looks sickly thin. I don’t think she knows shit about eating healthy.”

I felt my anger rise and twist my guts. Usually I was a very balanced person, but judging me and my competence by the way I looked just made me so angry. I clenched my fists and stormed into Matt’s room. I saw his facial expression go to oh-shit. I knew I was going to yell, and I know Zack and Johnny would notice, but I didn’t care. I opened my mouth and looked him directly into the eye…

Notes

Sooo what do you think? Matt offended her deeply, I mean... seriously?
What is she going to say?