You Chose This Life
Its Just Us Now Baby
Jesse Jade Haner. She actually exist. In Brian's mind he still didn't believe it. It seemed crazy how he turned out to be a father in this age. He was still unsure of how he will raise his daughter. He had the feeling again. Excitement and nervousness.
It was 8 AM and he still couldn't shut his eye lids. He had Jesse between his arms and she was in deep sleep. He was already in love with his daughter. Even though it will be very hard to raise a child, he still managed to keep his spirit high up and removed the bad thoughts. He whispered some songs that his mother used to sing to him into her little ears and rocked her back and forth.
He was glad that his parents were happy about being grandparents and welcomed a new member to the family. Even his little sister Mckenna was happy and started waving her arms around. She was still a year old but maybe they will get along just fine when they grow up.
"Let me see her!" Brian Sr. said taking the baby from his son's arms. "She has a very small cute face! Aw, she got your eyes and nose" Suzy had her mouth slightly open at the sight of Jesse. "Blue eyes though! Wow Brian, looks like you will have to kick some ass when she becomes a teen. I doubt boys will keep their hands away from her" Brian Jr. rolled his eyes taking Jesse away from his father's arms and sat on the couch next to Ashley.
"Hey" He whispered to Ashley who looked still tired but managed to crack a small smile enough to convince Brian that she is happy. "Aren't you excited?" He asked looking back at Jesse. All what she could do is nod and lay her head on the arm of the chair. Brian was starting to doubt some stuff but shook his head and forgot about the whole thing thinking it was nothing. Little did he know, Ashley was about to do something that would change a lot.
"Everyone loves little Jesse" He whispered to her when she finally woke up. She let out a small yawn and closed her eyes very tightly and then looked back at her father with a small smile. Even though she might not seem to have facial expressions yet she managed to let a small smile creep to her face. Enough to make Brian have a huge grin on his face.
"You didn't sleep yet?" Said a very tired Ashley. Brian shook his head "How can i sleep when Jesse is now around? She is literally the cutest thing i have ever seen" If any of the guys heard Brian say something like that, they would think he is gone insane. But since he had a daughter now, they understood. Not to say, she was actually a cute baby.
"I'm super tired" She whispered.
"Go to sleep then"
"No, i have to feed Jesse. You look like you raised from the dead" She took Jesse into her arms for the first time and looked closely to her face. She looked like her father a little bit but had her mother's blue eyes and black hair. She took Jesse and went downstairs sitting down on the couch and looked around the house for the last time as she thought.
Ever since her parents kicked her away, the Haners welcomed her with open arms. She shared rooms with Brian although they had an empty guest room. Of course she appreciated everything they did to her. They helped her when she thought she lost everyone. And yet, she is probably doing the stupidest thing she could ever do.
Her bag was already packed since she thought about this plan before she gave birth to Jesse. She felt horrible and knew everyone will feel horrible. Jesse will grow up with no mother. Something she didn't want to do. She had a friend who grew up without a mother and ended up in a very, very bad situation.
Her friend only lived with her abusive father and then was done with life and commit suicide. This is not a thing she wanted for her daughter. But then again, she got Val and her twin sister Michelle. Possibly if Zacky or Jimmy got girlfriends they could help.
There her daughter was laying down on the sofa with a blank expression. Ashley gave her a last look. Jesse started wiggling around and letting out sounds. She took it as if she was laughing. Laughing because nothing is bothering her, nothing is on her way. She was still a child didn't know the coldness of this world. She saw how her dimples deepened as she continued making sounds.
Ashley leaned closer to her daughter giving her a kiss on the forehead. She stood up, placing a paper on the table and went downstairs to the basement to grab her bags that she hid.
"I'm sorry Jesse. I'm really sorry this happened to you. I love you but.. but i don't think i am ready for this. I don't want this. I wish the best for you. Don't make the same stupid mistakes i did. You are a smart kid, i can totally feel it" Jesse was looking at her mother blankly then started making the same noises she did before.
Tears slipped from Ashley's eyes as she left the house and left the ones she loved the most. It was not the best thing she did. Probably another mistake. But it wasn't the time to think about this thing. It was time to turn a new page in her life and start over.
Later he woke up looking around and noticed Ashley wasn't there. He looked at the watch beside him and it said 9:45 AM. 'Does it take almost 2 hours to feed a baby?' he thought standing up and walking to the bathroom and washed his face. He didn't have enough sleep but the tiredness went away.
"Ash baby?" He said walking downstairs. He walked in the living room and his eyes roamed the place until he caught the big blanket around his baby. 'Why in the hell she left her like this?' He walked towards Jesse and held her up.
"Where is your mother?" He asked Jesse as if she was going to answer him. He walked to the kitchen and looked around, still nothing.
He walked up to the guest room and didn't find Ashley's figure. 'Damn, where did she go?' He shrugged his shoulders and went downstairs and sat on the couch. "Its okay, she probably went out and wanna buy some goodies for us!" He said happily to Jesse. She made noises and he was already about to burst into happiness even thought it meant nothing.
"Say Dad!" He knew she wouldn't be able to talk for another two years or so, but damn he was excited. "Papa Gates is right. Boys will be chasing after you and i will be kicking some a--- bottoms" He knew he should watch his language with her daughter around and he should warn his friends about that since Jimmy would always throw cusses around for no reason.
" Row, row, row your boat. Gently up the creek If you see a little mouse..." He whispered and watched Jesse as she made noises and her dimples never left her face. He continued singing the song he always sang to his little sister to get her to sleep but Jesse wasn't even tired. She was happy about his singing and looked like she wanted more.
He stood up wanted to go back to his bedroom until he saw a paper. 'What's this?' He thought picking the paper up and sat back down on the couch.
'Brian, if you are reading this then i am already gone. I know this seems like a movie but its true. I don't want to write some pointless stuff but i need to make things clear. I appreciate everything you did to me. All of the guys and your family welcomed me when i had no one. I appreciate it so much! You have to understand that! I love you so much and i love my daughter, but i can't do this. I still have a lot of things ahead of me and i know its selfish of me to think that you don't, because you do. Its hard to be a rockstar with a baby. I think this is another mistake i will be doing and i hope you can forgive me one day. I don't think i will ever come back. Even when she is grown. I wont come back like those psycho mothers and try to get her daughter back. I'm done with this and i don't want to deal with it. I'm sorry i left you like this. I love you baby.
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" He yelled throwing the paper to the ground forgetting that he had Jesse in his arms. She started crying because of his loud voice and her voice got louder by every second. He looked back down at her and tried to sooth her but it didn't work. He couldn't believe it. She just... left.
"What the fuck...?" His father came downstairs with messy hair. "Ashley fucking left!" And he also forgot about watching his language. "What do you mean she left?!" His father had a confused look on his face.
"Read this shit!" He gave him the paper and went upstairs to place Jesse in her crib. She didn't stop crying but she started crying even louder than before "I'm sorry baby" He whispered and ran downstairs.
He picked up his phone and dialed Matt's number.
Sleepy Matt answered the phone "Hey man, isn't it a bit early?"
"MATT! ASHLEY FUCKING LEFT!"
"SHE LEFT MAN SHE IS FUCKING GONE!"
"What do you mean she left?!"
"IT MEANS WHAT IT MEANS MAN! SHE IS GONE FOR GOOD! SHE LEFT ME A PAPER SAYING SHE IS SORRY AND SHE LEFT! CALL THE OTHERS WE ARE GOING TO TRY AND FIND HER!" He hung up and quickly wore his shoes and ran outside.
Jimmy's house wasn't that far and he quickly followed Brian to wherever he went to and yelled Ashley's name over and over. From bar to bar, nothing. Their spot in the park, nothing. The beach, nothing. Under the bridge, nothing. Malls, nothing.
Every single one of the group was running back and forth trying to find Ashley but she was no where to be found.
Brian walked outside the mall and sat on the bench with his head between his hands. 'How can she do this? What about Jesse?' The others quietly walked to Brian and tried to discuss where they were going to go next.
"Nowhere" Brian said while blinking away the tears. "What?" Zacky had a confused look. "I said nowhere" He glared at them "If she wanted to leave then she can have all the freedom she wants. I got my daughter now and i will raise her with or without her. If you guys with me then i would be very glad and if not then i can deal with this my own way"
Jimmy rolled his eyes "Bri, we are in this together. We all promised we would take care of her. You are not letting her grow up without awesome uncles and aunties!" Brian smiled at his friend happy to hear this from him and nodded as the others agreed with what Jimmy said.
The moon came and for the first time in a while Brian had his bed all to himself. He didn't like that feeling but he couldn't do anything about it. He was holding Jesse and watched her closely as she drank from the bottle of milk he recently bought for her.
Who said that a rockstar can't have a daughter in this age? He will try his best to make his daughter the happiest daughter ever and give her good education and not let her drop out like he did. She will graduate college and she will become whatever she wants and Brian will live to that day where she will get married and possibly have children.
Its like he already planned their future together "Its just us now baby"