Reliving the Nightmare

♡LOLA'S POV♡

"Seize the day, or die regretting the time you've lost.
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over."

I sat up with a bolt, shocked at the clarity of the song I was hearing. I found myself squashed into the corner of the train with Brian's arm snaked around my waist and his head near my chest. I blushed heavily: I had just slept with a boy! And he was touching me very intimately, even if he wasn't awake. His mouth was open as he slept and I marvelled at how peaceful he looked. His face was relaxed and wore no worry or anger lines as it did when he was conscious.

I absorbed one last second of this innocent Brian, then gently grasped his shoulder and shook him awake. His hazel orbs opened then glared at me from underneath thick lashes and my breath caught at how beautiful he was.

"Your phone is ringing, " I croaked, my voice still heavy from sleep.

He reached his hand to his jeans' pocket and got out his phone, all the while staring at me. I didn't breathe as he answered it.

"What?" he snapped and I felt sorry for the person on the other end.

I heard slight murmuring answering him and he dropped his gaze from mine and tensed to move. Instinctively I wrapped my arm round his abdomen and held him tight, not wanting him to move. I was warm and comfy.

He frowned at me, confused, but his eyes crinkled and I knew he was secretly pleased that I had reached out for him. He sat up, carefully extracting himself from my grip, then gestured to the phone at his ear before walking away from me.

I stretched out on the two seats, flexing like a satisfied cat. I had to admit, I felt pretty good; sleeping with a guy was something my parents would frown upon hugely so knowing that it was something that I felt comfortable doing without them knowing made me feel empowered. I allowed myself a small squeal of excitement, then smoothed down my trashed clothes and straightened my bed head. I peeked round the corner to see Brian pacing up and down, talking into his phone a mile a minute.

I knew the good thing to do would be to move back to my seat and amuse myself but I already felt pretty sneaky. With a sly glance to the left, I leaned out of my seat and strained my ears to hear Brian's conversation. I was still not very close so I could only hear snippets of his conversation, but it was enough.

"Yeah I know it was impulsive Matt, but we haven't got any more shows on this tour." There was a pause as Matt replied and by the look on Brian's face, he was getting an earful. He placed his hand at his head and massaged his temple.

"I don't know, dude. Get to know her? She draws me in, man. I can't help myself." I felt excited butterflies stir in my stomach as I realised he was talking about me!

"No man, I'm not meeting her parents. From what I've heard, if they knew she was with me they'd lock her up forever and kill me" Another pause. "Yeah I know El's with you. Well, Arin seemed to like her so can you just hang onto her for a bit? If all goes to plan with Lola, I'll have her back in Glasgow before you can say "Damn, I really miss Brian and Lola."

There was a loud laugh from Matt then I heard Brian saying his farewells. I leaped back to my seat and collapsed on it.

What did Brian mean he would have me back in Glasgow? I had no intentions of going back there. I was going to phone El when I got home and start organising events for the summer holidays which started in one week. Brian would see me home then return to his band and everything would be the same. Everything would be the same. I repeated my mantra in my head, with only a small niggling of wrongness making me squirm.

Brian swivelled round the corner and slid into his seat. He smiled apprehensively at me and I managed a smile back.

"Sorry, 'bout that. Matt was just checking on us," he reassured me.

I smiled tightly at him, still unsure about what he had said but I ultimately decided not to say anything and see how it all played out.

"So what's our stop?" Brian asked, looking at the notice board on the train.

I followed his gaze and smiled happily at the familiar name of my hometown flashing on the board.

"We'll need to get off in about five minutes," I told him and was it just me or did his face drop?

"But we'll need to get a bus to my house, which will take about twenty minutes." I said, desperate to sit closely to him for a wee while longer.

The grin returned to his cheeky face and he slid his hand round mine, intertwining our fingers. I looked at him, my heart bursting with happiness and he leaned forward. I gasped and closed my eyes, willing him to kiss me.

"We have now arrived at our destination. Please mind the gap when leaving the train."

A robotic female voice interrupted my wishes and my eyes flew open with disbelief. Brian gave me a small smile and moved back.

I tried not to let my disappointment show but as I stood up to get off the train, I kicked my seat in frustration. Damn that automated lady from ruining my first kiss ever.

I shuffled moodily after Brian as we stepped off the train. Even though I was staring at the ground, I still managed to trip off of the step and nearly face plant. Brian spun and put his big hands on my shoulders, steadying me. He shook his head and chuckled. I scowled at his reaction and began to storm off, but before I could, he ran in front of me then turned so he was facing me. Being this close to him, I could see the yellow flecks around his pupil and the pure emotion shining out from those eyes. My eyes trailed down his stubbled jaw and landed on his mouth. He saw where I was looking and lifted one corner in a sexy smolder. My chest rose heavily and I leaned towards him again, gripping the front of his shirt in my hand, so he didn't go anywhere this time. I heard his breath catch in his throat as he leaned forward.

"You're cute," he whispered in my ear then brushed my hair away so he could kiss my forehead.

My jaw dropped open. Was he kidding? Obviously not as he set off walking out of the station, releasing my hand from his shirt and fitting it snugly into his own rough hand. As frustrated as I felt, it pleased me that he was clearly not unaffected; he was nervously licking his lips and his palm was a bit slick with sweat.

I pulled him in the direction of the bus station and checked out the bus times. There was a bus leaving in eight minutes so we walked to the bus shelter to wait.

We didn't speak as we waited. We both seemed to sense that this was the calm before the storm; that this was the last time we'd have before we were separated when I got home. I clutched his hand tight with both of mine and studied his tattoos closely. He closed his eyes as I lifted his arm and stroked the patterns all the way up to his huge bicep. I sighed happily then snuggled my face into the crook of his arm, kissing his tattoo of a monster.

He let out a groan of pleasure and wrapped a strong arm round my waist, pulling me hard against him. I squeaked and jumped back a foot. He looked at me shocked, then threw his head back and laughed. I shifted nervously, wondering what his reaction meant.

"Oh man, you're face! Sorry, I forgot you're not used to this sort of stuff," he joked, gesturing down the length of his body, implying that I was not used to the body and need of a man being so close to me.

I blushed crimson and walked out of the shelter to get some air. The bus pulled up early and Brian and I got on quietly. I could feel the tension between us as we came closer to my home and we were silent on the ride there. I looked out of the window but could feel Brian's eyes burning holes in me. I was relieved when I saw the familiar street sign that symbolised home.

I jumped off the bus, thanking the driver on my way past and headed towards my house. I could see our family car sparkling in the driveway, so Dad had probably paid my brother to clean it for him. I sensed Brian walking behind me but I ignored him and pushed on, eager to get inside my house.

Finally I stood outside the gates, waiting for Brian to catch up. I heard him stop a few metres away from me and fidget with his phone.

I turned to him and said sadly, "So this is it, I guess."

He nodded and brushed his hair out of his eyes, squinting at me as if he was memorising every detail of this moment.
I did the same: I memorised his tight fitting T-shirt and his butt enhancing jeans. I memorised his sharp cheekbones, his cutting jawline and his perfect skin. I seared on my brain the way he looked at me, that heart breaking mixture of sadness and care.

"I guess I'd best be off then," he told me with a nonchalant shrug.

My emotional dam burst and i ran to him and threw my hands round his neck, relishing the feeling of being in his arms one last time. Tears ran down my face and soaked his thin T-shirt and he rubbed my back soothingly.

"I'll never forget you, Synyster Gates."

"I'll never forget to remember you, my Lola."

I turned from him and walked into a house that didn't really feel like a home anymore.

My parents jumped on me as soon as I walked in.

"Lola, darling you're home! " my Dad hollered as he grasped me in a suffocating hug.

My Mum also rushed at me and gathered me in a bear hug.

They were so annoyingly presentable that it made me mad. Mum had perfect make up even though to was eight in the morning and Dad was already dressed in a suit and tie. I shrugged them off and walked to the kitchen where the lighting was better. I grabbed a glass and went to the sink to get some water.

"Oh my goodness! LOLA!" I heard my Mum screech from the kitchen door and I jumped and dropped the glass. It shattered into a million tiny pieces on the floor and I winced as some of them skidded under the fridge. They were going to be difficult to clean up.

"Yes?" I turned to her and gave her a confused look.

She had her hand at her mouth and had gone deathly pale.
"Lola. Lola, you're top. It's covered in blood."

I silently cursed. I had completely forgotten about my bedraggled appearance and I could blame a certain sex God for causing my mind blank.

"Oh, that." I shrugged and tried to look casual. "Yeah, I had a nosebleed at El's and it got all over my T-shirt."

My Dad stood behind Mum and stared at me suspiciously.

"Didn't Elinor have a spare shirt you could borrow? And what is that ghastly shirt you're wearing anyway? What is 'Avenged Sevenfold?'"

I could feel my face turning beetroot and I stammered something about dressing up in El's clothes but not wanting to leave it at hers in such a state.

"Oh that makes perfect sense," my Dad said and I frowned at his sarcastic tone. "As does the lack of your presence at Elinor's house last night."

He glared at me and Mum looked at me with disappointment. My mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, I had no idea of what to say. How did they know?

"Elinor ' s Father came to visit for tea and he asked where you were. Naturally we were very surprised that he didn't know but I suppose we should have expected to be let down by you at some point. So where were you?" My Dad asked me, growing more agitated by the minute.

I stepped back, scared, sensing where this was leading.

"El and I went out." I whispered. I could feel my hands trembling against the counter and I felt light headed as I was so terrified.

"Don't make me do it Lola." My Dad threatened, moving closer. I was his prey, trapped in a corner with no way of escaping.

"We were just out, I swear,"I sobbed.

His hand moved down to his belt and I moaned in terror. I crumpled to the ground and trembled in a heap.

I heard him undoing his belt and for a moment I passed out, the whole world going black for a second. When I came round, I felt cool air on my back and knew what was going to happen.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
The blows kept coming, an onslaught of pain and fear became my world for what seemed like hours but what was probably mere seconds. My back felt like it was on fire and I could feel the slick blood running off my back and onto the floor. I heaved in breaths and could feel my ribs aching from this assault. Glass shards cut into my legs and I screamed when the final slamming blow from the belt cracked onto me.

"Don't ever think of disobeying us again, you hear me,"I could hear my Dad's laboured breathing but I couldn't make sense of what he was saying as the pain was too great. "I'll find out the truth from you later."

Both of my parents walked out of the kitchen, my Dad guiding Mum out as she looked at me sadly.

Excruciating minutes passed , until the pain had subsided enough for me to reach up and grab painkillers from the drawer. Every move felt like a hot iron was being placed on my back but I was used to it. This was my usual punishment if I had wronged my parents and I knew the routine by now.
Get beaten, take painkillers, clean up then go to bed and pretend like I don't exist.

Then a knock came at the door. I tensed, then groaned as the movement sent shook waves of pain down my back.

I crawled across the floor until I was at the perfect angle for seeing the door but not being seen. I watched as Dad cautiously opened the door a crack.
I'd never seen a more beautiful sight.

Brian stood with his hands in his pocket, humble and respectful. He extended a hand to my Dad and handed over something white.

"I believe someone in this household dropped this phone in the street. I saw them as I was walking by," he told my dad politely. I mentally thanked him for not blowing my cover.

I moved my hand as it was starting to get cramp an as I placed it down on the ground again, a sharp piece of glass pierced my skin, digging deep into the flesh.

I yelped and scrambled to get it dislodged, moving away from my hiding place as I struggled to remove the glass.

Brian looked past my Dad and strained to see me, lying once again in a pool of my own blood.

His face went from politely blank to confused as he saw me .

Then his eyes turned black and his face contorted in pure rage.

"You bastard," he screamed at my Dad, then he lunged for his throat.

Notes

So I was really busy last night so I couldn't update but here is another chapter!:) I'm not sure if I'll be able to update tomorrow but we'll see!:)
Comments mean a lot to me because I feel like I've started all over from scratch because of the changing account stuff:( So support means a lot to me right now:)
Thanks guys!!

L xxx