Reliving the Nightmare

♡LOLA'S POV♡

Matt led me through the house, firmly placing aside people that didn't get out of the way fast enough. I couldn't believe how cold I was; my fingers were completely numb and I had to grit my teeth together to stop them from chattering so loud. I pulled Matt's shirt tighter around myself, breathing in slightly when a whiff of his smell drifted up from it. It smelled like a woodsy cologne, all soft cedar and fresh pine. I realised that I was smelling another man's scent, and I blushed. Guilt bloomed in my stomach and I hurriedly chased after Matt, rubbing my nose to get rid of his smell.

He reached the living room and stopped. Not paying attention, I continued walking until I bumped into him. It was like walking into a solid rock and I winced when my still tender ribs smacked off of his granite like structure. He shot me an undecipherable look, his mouth slightly upturned but his eyes blank and empty. He was a very difficult person to read. Brian was easier to understand because every emotion he felt was portrayed blatantly through his expressive, brown eyes, except when he shut down his emotions, but that's how I knew he was annoyed, so I basically always knew what he was feeling. Matt however, from what I'd seen of him, kept his emotions very well in check, not even his eyes hinting at any hidden feelings.

Speaking of Brian, I was going to kill him when he showed up again from seeing his 'friends.' I hadn't seen him in any part of the house downstairs since he'd vanished, and my suspicion was growing. But I'd had no reason to not trust him, so I forced myself to trust Brian, convincing myself that he would be sensible.

"Can everybody please vacate the room, the party is no longer allowed in here," Matt announced boldly to the room of party people, interrupting my thoughts.

People shouted in protest and groaned, but with the cold, scary face of Matt staring them down, they all leaked out of the room, muttering between themselves.

One guy, as he was leaving, looked at me and Matt, a knowing smile coming to his cheeky face.

"Nice one, Matt," he praised, clapping Matt on the shoulder before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

My blush returned with a vengeance, turning my face into a crimson mess, and I wondered if that's what everyone had thought about us. Did Matt and I look like we were hooking up? I looked down at myself and grimaced. I was wearing a see through dress with Matt's shirt over the top and he was bare chested. It did not look innocent at all.

He turned to me and muttered an apology, and I tried to wave it off as nothing, but really all I wanted to do was take off his shirt, get some better clothes on and go find Brian so I could snuggle with him. I missed my man.

Matt sank down onto one of the sofas, and beckoned for me to do the same. I timidly sat beside him and he drew up one of the blankets so I was covered from head to toe in snuggly warmth.

After I thanked him, there was a minute of tense silence in which I focused on how loud my breathing was, trying to be as quiet as possible.

Matt cleared his throat and asked, "Are you feeling ok?"

I fiddled with the fringe of the blanket and didn't look at him, "Yes thank you. I'm much warmer now."

He nodded and we lapsed back into uncomfortable silence.

"Why don't you like me?" I blurted out suddenly, cursing myself as soon as the words had escaped. It was a fair question though, he hadn't shown me much love in the Hydro and then had fought with Brian about it.

"I do like you. You just saved my best friend's life," he replied, his eyes lifting to stare at my fingers as they plaited the tassels of the blanket. I continued to fiddle until I realised we were both focused on my hands, so I stopped and shoved them under the blanket.

"So you like me now, fair enough. But why did you hate me back at the Hydro?" I asked him, my voice small.

He blew out a breath and clasped his hands round the back of his head, settling deeply into the sofa. "I suppose I owe you a decent answer now."

I shrugged and he continued, "I guess I was worried about the band. Brian's always hooking up with girls, and I know the rest of the band is as well, but not to the extent that he does it. Are you sure you want to hear this?" He paused and asked me.

I clenched my hands but nodded. I already knew about Brian's promiscuous ways, so knowing a few more details wouldn't hurt.

"About four years ago, Brian was a bit of a state. Jimmy, our drummer had died two years before that and he was still unstable, we all were." Matt's voice had dropped, and he was staring past me, as if he was back there in the time the best drummer in the world had died. "We were playing shows though because we didn't want to let the fans down, but none of us were really with it or together. Brian was the worst though. He would go through the motions onstage, then as soon as he came offstage he would drown his sorrows in a bottle of alcohol and a pretty girl."

My heart constricted and ached at the pain they must have all gone through. Even though I was a fairly new Avenged fan, I still knew all about Jimmy and loved him. He seemed like one of the nicest guys ever and it killed me that these amazing men had to endure losing him.

Matt took a deep breath and started speaking again. "We were understanding at first; we had lost our best friend and Brian was dealing with it the only way he knew how to. But it was destroying the band. Nothing ever got done when he was around because he was either high, drunk or had a chick attached to him. Eventually he healed to the point where he wasn't a complete basket case anymore, but he's never been the same."

I frowned, "But what does that have to do with me?"

"I've figured it out that whenever Brian's going through one of his difficult periods, he'll latch onto a girl. When I saw you at the Hydro, I figured he was lapsing again and had picked you up for the fun. We can't afford for him to lose it again. If he goes down, the whole band collapses. And I won't let that happen, not when we've managed to rebuild ourselves again."

Matt's face had turned steely with solid determination and it struck me how much the band meant to him. His brothers and his band meant everything to him, and I was the one person that might mess it all up. He wasn't speaking now and had gone into some kind of trance, looking down at his lap in deep thought.

"What was Jimmy like?" I asked softly.

Matt chuckled, still looking downwards. "He was the craziest fucking guy in the whole world. He could make a party out of nothing and he was everyone's best friend."

Matt spoke with such reverence that it stunned me. The care and love in his voice sounded like it was only reserved for Jimmy; it didn't sound like he spoke about anyone else like this. Tears sprung to my eyes and I rubbed them away ferociously. I was so sensitive for God's sake, Matt wasn't crying so what right did I have to cry over his best friend?

He looked up and saw my glistening eyes. His eyes creased and a soft smile lightened his whole face.

"It's ok," he soothed, which just made me cry harder.

"It's just so sad that he was taken away from you all, yet you're still such nice people and you're so brave," I managed to stammer out through my tears.

Matt scooted over so we were pressed up together and he pulled me into his side, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

"It is sad, but we all had such amazing times with him that we can deal with the pain."

"Can you tell me some stories about him?" I asked timidly, not sure whether he would want to or not.

"Oh god, there's so many to choose from," he laughed. "Well there was this one time when we all went to Amsterdam and Jimmy was so fucking drunk. So there was loads of pigeons around and he ran up to them screaming and hit one out of the sky."

Matt was already grinning at this point and a snort of laughter burst out of me, setting him off.

"So the police come and mace him because he's being difficult and he has to spend a night in jail," Matt managed to tell me through his deep laughter. "But the next day we have to play a show and Jimmy didn't want to take a shower. So we're playing the show and suddenly we hear the drum beats going off. Turns out that when Jimmy started sweating, the mace ran into his eyes, so he couldn't see what the fuck he was doing."

Tears streamed down my face at the though of nutty Jimmy not taking a shower after spending the night in jail.

"What else?" I begged eagerly, wanting to hear more about this wonderful man.

"Well in High school he used to go around terrorizing everyone. And he wore all these different Kimonos and his hair was huge so he was pretty intimidating-"

At this point, Zacky stormed into the living room, looking really annoyed. He flung open the door and stomped in, just catching the end of what Matt was saying.

He looked at us, his eyes wide and said, "Jimmy stories?"

Matt nodded whilst subtly removing his hand from my back. I held out my arm to Zacky and he bounded over to us before jumping into me, nestling himself into the sofa and providing another body of warmth for me to be beside.

"Tell the story of when he got kicked off the basketball team in school, Matt," Zacky requested, and he sighed happily and closed his eyes as Matt recounted how Jimmy managed to get kicked off.

Before long we were in stitches laughing, all of us cracking up at Jimmy's antics. We talked and laughed for what seemed like hours, with Arin joining us halfway through, then Johnny after that. As soon as they heard we were talking about Jimmy, they plonked themselves down and sat listening, enraptured. Johnny had his own memories which he shared, but he was a bit more subdued than the rest of us.

By around two in the morning, we were all growing quieter. Johnny was snoring on the floor and Zacky was drooling on my shoulder. El had joined us at about midnight and she was curled up with Arin on the other sofa. Matt and I were the only ones left awake.

"By the way, I didn't tell you all that stuff about Brian to scare you off," Matt whispered into the darkness, bringing me out of my half doze.

"I know, it's ok," I told him.

"He does care for you. I can see it. But just be careful," he warned and I saw his brown eyes flashing against the dark.

We were silent after that as we all fell into a deep sleep.

Not long later, I woke up to see Brian, wrapped in a duvet, standing at the living room door, looking pitiful.

"I couldn't sleep," he admitted sadly.

I pushed an unprotesting Zacky to the other side of the sofa and gestured for Brian to join me. He shuffled over and settled in beside me, opening up his duvet so I could share it. He put an arm round my waist and pulled me against his hard body. I leaned my head against his chest and listened to the steady rhythm of his heart.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, before I felt his shallow breaths deepen into those of someone in a deep slumber.

I stroked his arm before closing my eyes, all too aware of Matt watching the two of us in the dark.

Notes

Sorry I haven't updated sooner!:(
So what did you all think of this chapter?!:)
I couldn't help but put some Jimmy into this chapter, his stories always crack me up! :)

Please comment and tell me your thoughts!
Thanks guys,

L xxx