Erin’s P.O.V

My eyes shot open and the room was fuzzy and I was out of breath and I looked around at the monitors and such and realized that I was in the hospital… great just fucking great. My throat was really dry and it hurt and I ran my hand through my hair and looked over and was startled by my dad.

“Jesus Dad… come on every single time you scare me” I said… unfortunately if I am hurt and
such he goes silent.. and then scares me cause I am unaware he is there.

“Erin… I was so worried.. this was worse than the last time!” My dad said and the sound boomed through the room and the nurse cracked the door.

“Mr. Collins we talked about the decibel of your voice” She said and he just sighed and she grabbed some water for me before leaving again and then called the doctor.

“Dad… it has been a little while since the last trip” I said trying to fight off the last 5 or 6 trips from these panic attacks.

“I just want you to have a normal life… haven’t you been taking the medication still?” He asked and I just shook my head.

“WE TALKED ABOUT THIS… WE LEFT TEXAS AND AGREED SINCE I WAS AWAY FROM HIM NO MORE” I said and the heart monitor picked up and I just lied back and my dad rubbed my head and cried a little.

“Calm down Erin… I am just worried about the fact that yeah Isabelle and Monique know… but Matt is your “Boyfriend” and he doesn’t know who Tyler is or what has happened… I mean how do you think he will deal? And Zack nearly had a heart attack…” He said all in one breath and was still having trouble with the boyfriend card.

“Well fine… I will tell Matt and… I guess Zack since he was the one who brought me here. And by the way.. Izzy hates when you call her Isabelle… she doesn’t think it is cool” I said trying to lighten his mood and he started cracking up while crying I just pushed him.

“DAD STOP! Go get Matt and Zack… please” I said because he liked manners no matter what… weirdo.

“Be right back” He said as the doctor walked in and she sighed checking my heart.

“So you and I should have a chat… I see that you have been in multiple car accidents.. and have had a broken collarbone?” Dr. Anderson asked and I nodded.

“Mind telling me where it came from?” She asked and the guys came in with my dad.

“Now is not a good time” She said but I cut her off.

“Actually they should know… I just wanna get it out actually. Matt, Zack… the doctor was asking me about my multiple car accidents and my broken collarbone… and so let me recap” I said taking a deep breath and the doctor continued her testing. My dad took my hand and held it as Matt and Zack sat down bracing themselves.

“So there were three accidents total at least that is what I remember… each time… I was with Tyler and he was high or drunk and locked the door and sped off and wrecked the car. Usually this resulted in concussion or broken toes… but the main thing and the reason why I run into the really bad panic attacks that cut off my air supply is because… Tyler was mad… he was sexually frustrated… and got a little too rough and slammed down on my chest and broke my collarbone… he continued until I was blue in the face and really not breathing much and left me for my dad to come home to take me to the hospital… I went to therapy… did muscle rehab and had been on medication till now” I said and the doctor looked at my chart.

“You were on Xanax and the other doctor had you on some pain meds and then you had a shot for the muscle relaxants?” She asked and I nodded and looked at Matt and he looked at me the way I had hoped he wouldn’t… like I was broken.

“Well Erin I am gonna put you on Lortab for anxiety and to help you sleep… I will give you Vicodin for pain but that is it… you can go home in a couple hours and I will see you next week” Dr. Anderson said and left the room.

“Matt please don’t look at me like that” I said rubbing my face and Zack nudged him snapping him out.

“Erin has been coming out of this for a while Matthew… honestly she is over it… just the shock of him got her… don’t be afraid of her” My dad said and I just died from embarrassment.

“Shut up dad!! Can you go get some new clothes for me or something!” I said loudly and Zack just laughed and grabbed my father and walked out.

“Matt will you just talk to me” I said and he just walked over pulling the chair to the bed and put his forehead on my hand and I could feel his warm breath. I curled my fingers up a little and stroked his cheek hoping that this wasn’t too much for him to take in.

“I had no idea about this Erin… why… why didn’t you tell me?” He asked and I pulled my hand away and just cried a little.

“What… you gonna leave me now… you gonna run because of something that just made me stronger! I was sure he was out of my life… SO I GOT SCARED! I am lying here and all I could think about was you over that stupid fuck!” I said loudly and he just backed up unsure of what to do.

“Please understand… I just wish you would have told me” He said and I just sat there trying to fucking make sense of what he was saying… was he saying goodbye? Was he saying that he still wanted to be there for me? I mean he wasn’t using words!

“Just say it!” I yelled and he leaned in.

“Say what?” He asked like I was dumb or something.

“Say goodbye.. I know that is what you are doing!” I said and he just sighed.

“CAN WE HAVE ONE CONVERSATION WITHOUT THINKING WE ARE LEAVING EACH OTHER!” Matt said and snapped and I just lied there pushing into the bed cowering a little despite that… he was right.

“I am not leaving you ya crazy girl.. JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE IN TEXAS THAT IS ALL I AM SAYING! I HAVE TO KNOW THESE THINGS!” He said… and with that I knew that the truth was all he wanted….

Notes