This is the second chapter post of today! Please make sure you read Ch. 17 first!!

*~*Chloe’s POV*~*

Walking out into the garage, I looked over to Val where she was talking with Matt and didn’t see Jayden, which caused me to instantly panic. I looked at Zacky who was talking to Brian and Johnny with his back turned and almost lost my composure thinking to myself how could he let OUR son just wander off?

“Mommy! Look! I can play drums too!” Jayden’s voice called out from behind the drum set where he was sitting on Jimmy’s lap.

I took a sigh of relief as I handed a beer to Matt, Val and Johnny, smiling at Jayden as he banged on the drums, “You sound so good Jay! You’ll have to let your uncles let you play with them on stage!”

“No ways, he can sing with me anytime.” Matt turned and said.

Jayden slid off Jimmy’s lap and came up to me hugging my legs, “Mommy? Can I have juice?”

“Sure baby…” I said going over to my bag, fishing out his sippy cup and handing it to him as I sat on the couch.

“You having fun little man?” Zacky came over and asked smiling.

“Yeah. I know the first song… mommy played it in the car before.” Jayden told him excitedly.

“Oh really? Did you like it?” Zacky said as he took a sip of his beer.

Jayden nodded as he sipped on his juice, “Are you gonna play more Zacky?”

“We sure are…” Brian said as he walked over and ruffled Jayden’s hair.

“Where’s Michelle?” Kim asked Brian.

“She’s being a bitch so her ass is at home.” Brian answered looking down at his guitar neck.

“Uncle Brian that’s a bad word.” Jayden said as he crawled up into my lap.

“Sorry buddy…” he replied.

“Let’s play Second Heartbeat one time thru… then hit an older one. I think it would be a good one for the show on Saturday…” Matt said as he grabbed the microphone stand, pulling it closer to himself.

I held Jayden on my lap as they started playing and found myself getting lost in the song. I hadn’t heard it at the show the night at House of Blues, but I had listened to it in the car after I had bought the CD the next day. To me, it was a painful song that hit home.

“We keep writing, talking and planning, but everything's changing.
We all know what to do but no one does it.
Now this time has passed and full of regret.

Two in my heart have left me a while, I stand alone.
When they get back, it won't be the same.

(never be the same)

My life, you've always been there.
Now you're gone, and my head's spinning.
Left the childhood, left the memories, left the good times in the past.
Moving on your time has run out.

Wishing the clock would stand still, the world can wait.
Wasting away once again, once lived as friends.

As time passes by, regrets for the rest of my life.
The ones who I confide were gone in the black of the night.

Never will I forget you, and all the memories past.
So rarely I get to see your face.
Growing I looked to you in guidance.
We knew that time would kill us, but you're still so close to me.

To me you were my life.
To me you were my soul companion.
Now you are so far away.
Nothing can take away the times and the memories we had.

Come back - to the days when we were young
Come back - to the days when nothing mattered
To the days when nothing mattered

And I feel time passes by, regrets for the rest of my life
The ones who I confide were gone in the black of the night.

As time passes by, regrets for the rest of my life.
The ones who I confide were gone in the black of the night.”

The song ended and I found myself crying, wiping my eyes furiously before my son turned and noticed. Matt and Brian gave me a weak smile, understanding that this song’s lyrics would have touched a nerve with me. Zacky avoided looking at me, instead looking down at his guitar pedals on the ground before turning his back to me to talk to Johnny quietly. Johnny placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it before Zacky turned around and I could see his green eyes glimmer from the tears he had been holding back. He still wouldn’t look at me and I took a deep ragged breath as I held in my emotions for the sake of my son in my lap. Then my heart sank as Brian began the guitar part of the next song.

“A living nightmare, asleep but still aware.
The endless torture.
The painless pleasure.”

No. No. No. Not this song…. Oh God no… any song but this song…

“I grasp myself.
Trying to regain control.
I experience and learn.
In another faction of my mind.
So confused.
But everything makes perfect sense.
Can't feel the pain.
Emotional pain's so much deadlier.
Lost, you've just been raped.
Pain. Your friends can't help you.
Why won't they help you?
Another reality.”

I felt the color drain in my face as Jayden dropped his juice cup on the floor and jumped off my lap belting out the lyrics with Matt. I shook my head gently as I put my hand over my mouth and grabbed his cup off the floor.

“This can't be happening.
Why is this happening?
Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck. Are you?”

I grabbed Jayden, pulling him back onto my lap as Zacky, Brian, and Johnny started to move around the garage wildly. I knew this was the part of the song when the guys would jump around and move without looking. Val looked at me curiously as she set her beer down on the nearby table and stood.

“Trying hard to figure out what's done.
I scramble but now I run.
The images in my head.
All the problems that I've been fed”

Val belted out her ‘5 seconds of scream’ as she called it, with Matt. Jayden sat back a little when Val sang, probably shocked that such a sound came out of his sweet speaking Aunty Val, yet he kept singing right along with her.

“Punching slowly my mind can't change the speed.
As my victims bleed.
No matter what I do or how hard I try.
I can't use my abilities.
Use my abilities.
Use my abilities.”

I let Jayden slide off my lap again as the guys calmed their movements and went closer to Zacky watching him play wholeheartedly.

“Art of Illusion.
My razor sharp knife's edge, pierces my victim's body.
But I cannot take their soul.
Punching through jello, stabbing not killing.
Disappointment. Discomfort."

Jayden sang the words softer as Matt did, but his eyes still were locked on Zacky’s fingers playing guitar. I squeezed my eyes shut, keeping them from letting the tears spill over, taking in another deep breath as I tried to steady myself for the ending of the song.

My razor sharp knife's edge, pierces my victim's body.
But I can't take their soul.
Punching through jello, stabbing not killing.
Disappointment. Discomfort.”

Jayden turned and looked back at me from his spot in front of Zacky with the biggest smile on his face, “Mommy! Did you hear it?! They played the song mommy! They played your favorite mommy! They played daddy’s song!”

Everyone looked at me, not sure what to do or say. I took a big swig of the beer bottle I had been nursing as I thought of what to do. I had prayed they wouldn’t play this song, but I knew I probably should have said something ahead of time as this was always one of my favorites and I had played it numerous amounts of times in the car for Jayden.

“What do you mean this is daddy’s song?” Jimmy asked trying to break the awkward silence before Jayden got suspicious.

“Mommy loves this song. She said this is daddy’s song. Mommy said daddy made this song.” He said still smiling widely as he came back over to me and picked up his juice cup, not noticing how on edge I was.

“Jayden, why don’t you come with me in the house? Let’s get some snacks…” Kim said holding out her hand for him, trying to give me a moment that I obviously needed.

“Okay.” He said as he took her hand and they began walking into the house, “I think mommy plays it when she misses daddy...”

“Oh really now?” Kim asked him.

“Yeah, she misses daddy a lot.” He replied sadly as the door shut behind them.

I put my face in my hands as I let the tears flow freely. I felt a hand on my back rubbing circles, knowing just from the floral scent that it was Val.

“Come on Chloe, let’s get away for a minute.” She said pulling me from my seat on the couch and walking out towards the driveway.

I glanced at the guys for only a second, seeing them all huddled around a very shocked and surprised Zacky before putting my face back in my hands and following Val. She walked me out to the edge of the driveway, turning me and hugging me tightly behind Matt’s SUV.

“Shhh… It’s alright Chlo…” she said soothingly as she rubbed my back.

“It’s not Val… It’s not… What have I done?” I asked her as I moved my hands from my face and felt my tears streak my face.

“Look,” She said grabbing my arms on either side of me as she looked into my eyes, “You made a mistake. We all make mistakes Chlo… You have the chance to make this right. Zacky is willing to forgive you and put it behind you both. Do it. Look at yourself, you’re driving yourself crazy over it.”

“I know but I just have to do what’s best for Jayden. I can’t just do it because I want to. It’s so much more than that…” I said as I put my hands over my face to hide my crying.

“I know it is, but look what it’s doing to you. Look what it’s doing to Zack.” She said pulling me to the side of the cars so that I could see Zacky in the garage.

He looked at me sadly as Matt and Brian said something to him that he wasn’t listening to. He just stared at me as I stood there and cried like a fool. Jimmy nudged him, noticing his stare before Zacky took off his guitar and handed it to him, walking down the driveway to Val and I. He didn’t say anything to either of us, instead grabbing me and wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug.

“I’ll let you two talk.” Val said as she walked up the driveway back into the garage.

“I… I… I’m so…” I pulled back and started to say between my sobbing.

“Shhh…” he said putting a finger to my lips, “I know already.”

I wrapped my arms around his body as he held me and swayed back and forth slightly while I cried into his shirt. I don’t know how long we stood there at the end of the driveway but he didn’t seem to mind, and the guys waited patiently in the garage. I felt him tighten his hug around me as he inhaled the smell of my hair.

“I missed you too Chloe. I missed you so much.” He said as he pulled back and looked down at me, “Don’t let anyone tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing. We will tell him when you’re ready to. When you’re sure that I’m not going anywhere.”

“Zacky it’s hurting you… I can’t keep hurting you. I’ve done that enough already…” I told him.

“I’m a big boy… yeah it hurts to not tell him, but I can handle it for now. I don’t want to mess this up.” He said softly tucking some of my hair behind my ear.

“Are you sure Zack?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I want you to be comfortable with telling him. This is a big thing and we have to be ready for the questions and everything else he’s going to ask.” He forced a smile of reassurance.

“I promise soon.”

“Whenever you’re ready Chloe.” He replied kissing my forehead, “Now come on, we have a practice to finish.”

“What are you going to tell Jayden when he asks about the song?” I asked as he pulled me towards the garage.

“He probably forgot by now. I’m sure Mrs. S got him to forget with cookies or something.” He smiled as he squeezed my hand in his.

“Everything okay?” Johnny asked as we walked back in the garage.

“Yeah… it’s just… hard…” I said wiping my eyes and taking a seat back on the couch.

“I can only imagine… sorry guys.” Johnny said putting a hand on Zacky’s shoulder again.

“It will get better once he knows…” Zacky smiled lightly.

“Mommy! Look! Aunty Kim gave me cookies!” Jayden yelled as he ran into the garage with two chocolate chip cookies in his hands.

I went to open my mouth but Zacky beat me to it, “Did you tell her thank you?”

“Yes, he did. He’s such a polite little boy. You did a wonderful job with this one Chloe…” Kim said as she came out with a plate of sandwiches for the guys.

“Thank you Mrs. S.” I replied as Jayden came and sat with me on the couch.

Zacky grabbed a sandwich and sat next to Jayden and I, “Did you eat real food first mister?”

“No.” Jayden replied shoving one of the cookies in his mouth before Zacky or I could grab it from him.

“He’s at aunty’s house… we can bend the rules a little here…” Kim winked at Jayden who smiled back with cookie stuffed in his little mouth.

Zacky grabbed the other cookie from Jayden, causing him to start whining. Zacky took a sandwich off the plate on the table and placed it in Jayden’s hand. Jayden pouted, causing everyone to try to stifle their laughter as they knew by the look on Zacky’s face he was being serious.

“Eat real food and then you can have the other one.” Zacky told him setting the cookie on the plate.

“But Zacky, Aunty Kim said I can…” Jayden whined.

“Listen to Zacky.” I scolded as he looked up at me hoping I would side with Kim.

“Okay…” he said defeated as he took a bite of his sandwich.

“Good boy. Sit and eat with mommy while we finish practice.” Zacky said ruffling Jayden’s hair before getting up and putting his guitar back on.

Kim sat in Zacky’s now vacant spot leaning over as they started to play, “Girl you have your work cut out for you with this little one. I don’t know how you tell him no with those big green eyes and that ever famous pout…”

“It’s a challenge but I do what I have to…” I replied watching the guys practice.

“Every good mother’s saying…” she said patting my hand lightly, “It will all work out fine Chloe. Don’t worry sweetheart.”

Notes

Alright my lovelies!! 2 chapters in one day. Boom. You're welcome! Love you guys!! You keep me motivated!!