Denial

Johnny was driving around Huntington aimlessly, he had been doing that for the past few hours. He looked at the little clock on his dashboard, amazed that it was already that late in the afternoon. As if on cue his stomach started to rumble. He skipped lunch and his stomach was definitely aiming for an early dinner now. He found himself parking his car at the ocean side and got out. He leaned against the hood and looked at the sea that was moving around restless, just like he was feeling right now. He had only been thinking about her, why it affected him so much that she cancelled on him. She warned him, she told him she didn’t date, she told him he should get his hopes up, she told him not to think anything different about this than friendship.

But friends didn’t cancel with “I can’t do this”.

Did they?

Johnny closed his eyes and sighed. Damn it, this was what happened when someone played with his unexpecting heart. He wasn’t ready to deal with this kind of thing, he wasn’t armored yet. He was looking forward to seeing the girl way too much. Anger boiled up inside of him. He needed to talk to Izzie, make clear she was never allowed to meddle in his life ever again. He was perfectly able to determine his own future thank you very much. He pushed himself away from the car and opened the driver’s side door, starting the engine which came to life with a roar. He loved Izzie but it was fucking time she realized she wasn’t cupid. That her schemes worked for Brian and Zack had been pure luck, she needed to butt out of his life before he would do something he would regret. Regret when he broke off their friendship, regret because he was aware that if he would want to fight with Izzie he would have to deal with Matt and he knew that was a losing battle… always.

As soon as he turned on to the main road again, his phone beeped, indicating he had a text message.

Little man, need your help, could you please come and get me? I’m at 2015 Tamarack Trail. You are my hero. <3 Iz!

How could she just act like nothing happened? How could she just simply ask him to pick her up at some unknown address? He sighed, he knew he was mad at her for now, but he also knew he would never ever leave one of those girls hanging, not even Izzie at this point. And picking her up would definitely give him the chance to talk to her without Matt breathing down his neck. He quickly typed in the address in his navigation system and waited for instructions. The street was in a part of town he didn’t go to often and he was wondering what Izzie was doing there and why he had to be the one to pick her up?

He drove into the street, looking for the numbers of the houses, trying to determine which one he needed to be at. Should he look for Izzie’s car? Or Matt’s maybe? Finally he noticed number 2015, not Izzie’s car was parked up front, neither was Matt’s, there was no car on the drive way, but there was a garage so he guessed they used that. Whoever the ‘they’ was that was living here. He turned onto the driveway and parked his car, looking at the house. He thought he saw something move at the curtains, but he wasn’t too sure. If he needed to pick Izzie up here, why wasn’t she ready? He got his phone and called her…. Nothing…. Voicemail.
“Fuck! What I don’t do for those women!” he muttered as he got out of the car and headed for the door. Just as he was about to ring the bell, the door flew open, revealing the woman that had been clouding his mind all day.

“What are you doing here?” she shot at him with an angry expression. Johnny looked closely at her, ready to shoot her some nasty remark back when he noticed her eyes weren’t participating in her angry demeanor.
“I’m here to…” he started, but in his head something clicked “Fucking hell…..” He groaned, looking at the girl, still standing in her doorway, looking more and more confused
“Izzie” he sighed “I’m really sorry for bothering you, Nessa, you made yourself perfectly clear, but apparently I have a former friend that didn’t get it.” Nessa seemed to put 1 and 1 together too, and averted her eyes. When she looked up again the man was heading for his car, ready to leave again. He looked over his shoulder one last time “Again, I’m sorry. Enjoy your night”. He was already standing at his car, door in hand when Nessa finally spoke again.
“Do you want to come in?” He snapped his head at her, did she really just said that?
“I’m sorry?”
“Do you want to come in… I mean… now you are here… I can better offer you something to drink” he voice was soft and shy and Johnny instantly remembered again why he had been attracted to her.
“Okay” was his simple reply as he locked his car again and entered Nessa’s house.

He walked into the house and looked around curiously. Her house was decorated with things he knew that would fit her. It had all kinds of decorations and trinkets in Hawaiian style and of course a lot of Harry Potter memorabilia. He was a little lost, not sure if he was allowed to sit down, the atmosphere a little awkward.

Nessa noticed the man looking around, hesitating on what to do and she sighed. What was she thinking inviting him in? This was a disaster waiting to happen.
“Please… sit down, let me get you something to drink… What can I get you?”
“Some soda would be good” Johnny answered quickly.
She quickly headed over to the kitchen, praying he wouldn’t follow her, she needed a minute to herself.

Even though she didn’t believe in one God, there was definitely something that answered her prayers, leaving her to come to herself for a minute. She took a deep breath and got two glasses, filling it with the content of the first bottle of soda she could find.
He was in her house. He was here, despite of her trying so hard to push him away. Okay he might have gotten a little push by Izzie… That was a lie.. he had gotten a big push by Izzie. She was a little angry about that, Izzie didn’t have the right to push her that hard, push him that hard. Now it all felt like it was all an obligation and she didn’t want that. Damn Izzie! There was no need for all of this, she had been about to text him when he pulled up to the driveway.

“Everything okay in there?” Johnny called to the kitchen, getting Nessa out of her in head rant towards Izzie. She quickly made her way over to the living room, handing Johnny his drink.
“So….” She said, not really knowing what to say to the man. She could only think about the fact that he was there in her house, and that he was even cuter than she remembered. Damn it Nessa! This is not the time! You need distance, you need to see this as it is, a friend, nothing else.
“So… Izzie pulled a number on us huh?” Johnny replied with a smirk.
“Yes… I… I would have texted you to make another appointment” she blurted out.
“You would?” he looked at her uncertain.
“Yes! I would have” she was strengthened by him not looking at her weird, he looked confused, but he had that little twinkle in his eyes. And her stomach fluttered. Oh boy “Cancelling on you was uncalled for, I’m sorry”
Johnny got an enormous smile on his face “It’s okay. We are here now”
“We are” she relaxed into her chair and silence fell between them until the growling of Johnny’s stomach broke it.

“Oh shit…” Johnny blushed deeply as he looked up to Nessa “I didn’t eat much today. I should probably get going and get something to eat before the monster comes out”
Nessa giggled at the remark and watched him get up. She didn’t really want him to go, but she wasn’t sure on how to stop him. That stupid over thinking, she just wish she didn’t.
She felt her a stomach rumble quietly, reminding her of the perfect reason to make him stay.
“You want to order something?” she let out before she could think again.
Apparently Johnny was thinking about the same thing and at the same time Nessa spoke up, he turned around and asked her to grab a pizza.
The both bend their heads, shy to look at each other and giggled.
I feel like a teenager, they both thought at that moment, carefully measuring up the other.

Just as Johnny was about to open his mouth to tell her that ordering in would be a great idea, Nessa took a leap of faith.
“Just hold, I will change in to something more presentable” and off she was. Johnny looked after her, thinking she looked perfect as she was. He was just happy she said yes. This was kind of a date, right? There was no denying it. He would take her out to dinner, he would pay, he would bring her home again. As friends, of course as friends…
“Done! We can go!” Nessa came back into his sight, smiling widely. She had brushed her hair, put some simple make up on and put on another shirt. She looked amazing and it was on the tip of his tongue to say it, but he thought that might be pushing it.
“Good, shall I drive? We can discuss some killing Izzie techniques?” he let out half a smile, making Nessa smile even wider.
“Great plan!” She closed the door behind her, and got into the car next to Johnny. He had to hold back to hold her door open, it was not the time, he didn’t want to scare her away.

Half way through their shared pizza and beers they were still not out of ways to end Izzie and Nessa’s stomach was hurt by all the laughing she did.
“OH! Oh! We can always push her off the balcony!” Johnny added
“Oh no… You are forgetting something really important my friend” Nessa objected and she received a quizzical look from Johnny “Matt, you dumbass. We can only kill her when he is not around, I can’t take him on you know” she said with a serious look on her face, before her laugh broke through again.

Johnny felt his heart speed up at that sound, he really enjoyed hearing her laugh, seeing her laugh. She took another sip of her beer and he watched her as she licked a stray droplet from her lips. Now not only his heart was doing strange things, but there were other parts of him that were pointing out how long it had been since he had been with a woman. And she wasn’t any ordinary woman, Izzie had been right about one thing, she was completely right for him.

They enjoyed the last bit of their dinner and got some icecream for desert. Nessa watched him eat the icecream from under her lashes, thinking how cute he was, focusing like that on the desert. The way he licked the spoon…. Shit… wasn’t this something men always thought about?
The thought wouldn’t leave her mind though, she was thinking on how the icecream would taste from his mouth, what he would taste like if the icecream worn off. She was daydreaming so bad, she didn’t even notice Johnny had taken care of the bill…. Like… Like they were on a date….
“You need to tell me what my share is” she said as she grabbed her purse. Johnny waved it off.
“Not this time, you can pay the next time. Deal?”
She giggled “You just want to make sure we do this again, right?”
Johnny nodded with a smirk “Yes, I enjoyed myself, I think we can totally make this friendship thing work”. She agreed with that, friendship…. It would really work… friends…
She didn’t know Johnny was crossing his fingers behind her back. He had long decided he would need more than just friends, and he would be patient. At least until he brought her home.

When he pulled up the driveway Nessa turned to him “Thank you, I had a really nice time tonight. I can manage from here”
“Ah ah, it’s dark out, I will bring you to your door” Johnny half joked as he opened her door and held out his hand to help her out. Without even thinking of it she grabbed his hand and didn’t even protest when he held it while they walked to her front door.
Johnny was happy she didn’t pull away, how was he going to kiss her if she had? Because the fact that he would be kissing her was inevitable, even if Nessa didn’t realize it yet.

“So this is me” she said as she turned to him. Johnny had moved in very close, so close that he saw the surprise in her eyes when she found out he was there. She didn’t step away from him though. When he noticed her tongue between her teeth, Johnny’s heart was almost coming out of his chest. Her eyes shifted from his to his lips, unintentionally inviting his kiss. Johnny moved in quickly, not giving her any room to protest. He put his hand on the back of her head en brought his mouth down to hers. The little spark that had been there the whole night ignited fully now as he attacked her lips as he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her to his body. Nessa let out a little moan and Johnny took that opportunity to slip his tongue in.

As their tongues were performing a sensual dance, Johnny made sure he saved everything to his memory, how she felt, how she tasted, how she smelled, it was all put away carefully for him to recall at any moment in the future. The feeling of Nessa’s hands on his scalp were driving him crazy. The way she melted to his body showed him this was more than just friendship, she must feel it too, right?
He was so lost in the feeling of her, that he didn’t notice her pushing him away from her softly until she broke her kiss.

“Johnny….. please stop….” She said quietly… They stared at each other, both out of breath and Johnny put a step forward to get a hold of her again, but Nessa moved away.
“Don’t… please….” She looked down at her hands “It’s not your fault… I shouldn’t have… I can’t do this… I … Can we please just be friends?”
Johnny nodded, not able to really trust his voice in not breaking.
“I’ll text you tomorrow, thank you for tonight” Nessa had opened her door and quickly slipped in her house, leaving a very confused and turned on Johnny at her doorstep.

He realized she needed more than just a nice dinner for two and he was determined to show her he was a good guy, no, a great guy… the perfect guy for her.

Notes

So, they kissed! What now?
Nessa seems to want to forget about it
While Johnny want to remember it forever....