“Pregnant.”

It's not a question. It's simply just his way of registering the word in his mind – registering the reality of the situation.

“Okay then.” He releases my hand to clap his together. “Is that it then?” I shrug.

“For now,” I say. He nods. “Daddy?” He looks at me expectantly. I feel a lump in my throat and hot tears prick at my eyes. “I'm really scared.” He sighs and pulls me into his arms.

“Sh, it's alright. There's no reason to be scared – you're not alone in this. You have me and you have Jess...”

But I don't have Brian.

“Do you know where the father stands on any of this?” he asks me quietly. Speak of the devil.

I shrug. “I don't think so. He sort of... left me.” He pulls away angrily. At first, I'm afraid it's me who he's angry at, but then I realize he's probably angry at Brian. Though he doesn't know that. “Like, he said that we weren't really in love... and that he would need time to think. So, after he left me in the house, I just... left.”

“And came here,” he finishes for me. “What happens when he goes back and realizes you're not there?” I shrug. I hadn't really thought of that.

“I'm not sure. Chances are I'll probably run into him eventually.” He sighs.

“And I'll be there when you do,” he promises me. I force a smile, even though the thought scared me. It made me wonder if he knew about Jimmy or not. If he did, I wouldn't be surprised if he called me out for having a “thing” for older men.

I didn't really feel anything for Brian, looking back on it. The only two people I've ever grown true and genuine feelings for, were Jimmy and Will.

But Jimmy is dead. Will is... somewhere else.

“What are you thinking?” he whispers. I jump slightly before shaking my head.

“Nothing. It’s not important.” He lets out a long sigh before shrugging in acceptance.

“I’m always here if you want to talk, Daenerys,” he mutters before getting up and returning to his dinner.

I begin swishing my spoon around in the soup, which was now most likely cold, feeling slightly guilty. I wanted to talk to him – I wanted to so badly. But I couldn’t – not yet, at least.

We spend the rest of dinner in silence, though it’s not uncomfortable or awkward like I had thought it’d be, especially since so much had been just laid out for him. Though, often I did feel his gaze burning holes into my hand, which was still moving the spoon around in circular movements, absolutely refusing to put anything into my mouth and into my body. I can tell this bothers him from the way he’ll sigh occasionally, but he doesn’t dare say anything.

When I get up to take my dishes to the kitchen, he smiles over at me. “It’s alright, sweetheart. I’ll take care of it.” I nod gratefully before escaping to the safety of my bedroom.

It was surreal to be back, I find, after six months of convincing myself that I was never going to cave in and ever return. The room is pretty much exactly how I left it, though when I dig around under my bed, I find that a couple crucial items are missing, along with various items of clothing that had originally been shoved under there to hide them. For one, my box was gone. It had almost everything in it – my money, my drugs, and my razors.

But that wasn’t the worst part. My journal was gone – the one that held on the secrets that I ever kept bottled up inside. Everything from being with Jimmy, to the drugs and all my suicide notes. Panic courses through my veins and before I know it, I’m running downstairs and back to the kitchen, where Zack is washing dishes, completely oblivious to what was going through my mind.

“Where’s my journal?” I demand loudly. He doesn’t stop what he’s doing. He doesn’t even turn to look at me. For a moment, I’m sure he hasn’t heard me.

“It’s in my office,” is all he says. I fold my arms across my chest angrily. Who gave him the right to take it in the first place?

“I want it back,” I tell him. He shuts off the water and dries off his hands, still blatantly refusing to physically acknowledge my presence.

“You’ll get it back once I’ve read it.” My heart begins to pound and my stomach starts to churn.

“I don’t want you to.” He whips around.

“And why the hell not?” he demands angrily, causing me to flinch slightly. “What about it is so bad that you can’t tell me face-to-face?”

I look down at my feet. Tears fill my eyes, though there’s no real reason for them. “I’m just not ready to tell you about some of the things that are in there.” He narrows his eyes at me. “You can’t just expect me to start opening myself up to you, after everything that’s happened.”

“How else do you expect me to have some sort of idea of what you’ve been through?” he asks. His tone is a little more understanding now, but there’s still some anger lacing his words. “I want to be able to understand…”

“And I want you to respect my privacy and wait for me to tell you myself. You can’t just force it – it has to come naturally!” He just shakes his head at me.

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now, Daenerys.” I glare at him. “Go get some rest. We can talk more in the morning.”

It’s not a request.

I practically run back to my room, shutting the door behind me and sliding to the floor. It wasn’t fair that he took that from me. I could handle him taking my razors and drugs. I didn’t really want anything to do with either anymore, even though there were times the last six months when I thought I did.

I sigh to myself. I would have to get it back on my own. With any luck, he hasn’t read too much, so he knows about Jimmy.

It’s already dark out, even though it’s barely seven. Even so, I decide to go to bed anyway. It had been a long day, and something told me that I would be needing all my energy tomorrow. I strip down to just my underwear and wrap myself up in the black and purple duvet covering my bed. It feels nice, I think as I fall asleep, to finally be in a familiar place.

~

No one wakes me the next morning. I get up on my own, throwing on the clothes I had borrowed from Jess all over again. I would have to talk to her about going shopping sometime soon, so I wasn’t constantly borrowing her clothes.

I look like a mess. My black hair is frizzy and dried awkwardly. My eyes are red-rimmed from crying so much the previous day, and there are horrible bags under them; my skin is a ghostly pale from lack of sun. I make myself sick – I feel sorry for anyone who ever has to look at me.

Even Zack.

I run a hand through my hair before deciding to go downstairs and see if anyone else is up. Maybe find some food as well – I was starving; I had barely eaten at all the last two days.

As soon as I step out of my bedroom, I have half a mind to turn right back and lock myself in there for the rest of the day – or for the rest of my life. The all-too-familiar voices of Matt and Johnny are echoing throughout the house. Zack must’ve called them earlier, probably to tell them that I was finally back. It made me wonder if Brian would be showing up anytime soon. The thought scares me, but I realize that, as long as Zack’s there, he won’t try anything.

“Danny?”

I jump violently. God, why does she keep doing that?

Jess giggles slightly before giving me an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that. Are you alright? Did you want some new clothes?” I shake my head.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just go buy some more later.” She tilts her head to the side slightly.

“You know, I’m sure Zack has some Vengeance University stuff lying around in one of these boxes…” She shakes her head. “But I suppose you’re not too worried about that right now, are you?”

“I’m hungry,” I tell her. She laughs.

“I can go find you some food if you want. I know your father wants you to come downstairs and greet your uncles, but I have a feeling that’s the last thing you want right now?” She tilts her head to the side and I nod. “Well, sadly I don’t think they’ll be going anywhere anytime soon. I’ll try and take you shopping later so you don’t have to be around them – how does that sound?” I nod again, smiling gratefully.

She sends me one last smile before stepping around me and heading downstairs. I decide to wait for her in my room. I leave the door open so she knows.

A moment later, I hear the voices downstairs grow increasingly louder. I can’t exactly pinpoint which ones belong to who – but I can hear Jess’ voice among the mix. Seconds later, I hear Zack’s heavy footsteps pound their way upstairs. I have half a mind to hide under the bed. I could probably fit. Probably.

“Daenerys.” He appears in the doorway so suddenly, it causes me to fall right off the bed where I’m sitting. Immediately, he’s by my side, checking to see if I’m okay. Once he determines that I am, the serious, concerned look on his face returns. “Danny, I want you to come downstairs and eat.” I shake my head frantically.

“I don’t want to,” I tell him childishly. He sighs and runs a hand down his face.

“Honey, you’ll have to face them eventually.” He pauses to think for a moment. “Johnny really missed you, you know. He was so worried about you – he was so upset.” I inhale sharply.

A long time ago, Johnny and I had been rather close. For some reason, I always got personally offended whenever the guys ever picked on him, and I was always fighting to defend him. He quickly became my best friend, but as I grew older, we drifted apart. He met a girl – Lacey – and suddenly I had Jimmy’s seemingly eternal attention.

“Come say hi to him,” he continues to encourage me. I still feel unsure – while Johnny had at one point been my friend, Matt was the complete opposite. He had made it quite obvious throughout most of my life that I was certainlynot the favorite. He was part of the reason why I ended up like… this. “Please.”

I let out a resigned sigh. Clearly there was no way of getting out of this, so reluctantly, I allow him to lead me downstairs to the kitchen where they are.

As soon as Johnny sees me, he’s on his feet and rushing over to me. Like Zack had when he first saw me the other night, he wraps his arms around me and holds me for a few minutes. And it feels sort of nice.

“God kid, I fucking missed you,” he whispers, pulling away so Jess can hand me a plate. My mouth begins to water at the sight of the scrambled eggs and hash browns piled onto it. I swear, for a second it feels as though the food and I are the only two things in the room. I feel sort of bad for suddenly ignoring Johnny, but fuck I was so hungry.

I can feel everyone staring at me as I begin to eat – no, inhale the food on my plate. Once I’m done, Zack lets out an amused chuckle.

“Well, then.” Johnny smiles over at me and I smile back. There was no need to force it, either – this one was completely natural.

Just then, Matt clears his throat. “Right. So as great as it is to see Daenerys again, can we please discuss the real reason why we’re here?” I look over at my father, who gives me a nervous look.

“We need to get Danny a passport –” Matt begins, but I immediately cut him off.

“What the hell do you mean I have to get a passport?” I demand angrily, though I’m sure I already know the answer.

“We’re going on a European tour…” Johnny attempts to explain gently. And while I appreciate the effort, it’s still no good.

“I’m not going,” I announce with finality, folding my arms across my chest determinedly. Matt clenches his jaw and steps towards me slightly.

“You don’t have a choice,” he growls.

“Matt.” Zack steps forward to defend me. “Don’t be so harsh with her.”

“Dad, I can’t go on tour right now.” I give him a look that tells him that he should know what I’m talking about. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Danny, the girls have traveled with us while pregnant before –”

“Wait, what?” Matt yells.

“Secondly,” Zack continues, ignoring him completely. “We only just got you back. There is no way in hell I’m just going to up and leave you as soon as you got here. Especially not alone.”

“Jess is going too?” I ask, suddenly growing a little more hopeful about the situation. He nods.

“It won’t be that bad kiddo,” Johnny reassures me, nudging me gently.

They didn't know the half of it.

“Dannyyyyy.”

I sigh to myself. He's drunk again. He's always drunk. Doesn't he know that being drunk around kids my age can be psychologically damaging?

“Danny!”

He flops down beside me on the hotel bed. In a way, I was annoyed at Zack for forcing me to room with him. He always allowed Erin to have her own room. For some reason, he seemed to trust her more than me. It wasn't fair. For once, I wanted to have my own room; I wanted to be alone for a little while, after being forced to live with a group of people that all not-so-secretly hated me, on a stuffy bus for three months.

What also bothered me, was that I had managed to develop a huge crush on Jimmy in the passing weeks since the summer tour started. He was always purposely spending time with me – he was the only one who made an effort with me, and it made me feel... good.

“Danny, I love you,” he mutters sleepily, looking up at me bashfully. I laugh slightly. Of course I already knew that. He told me that practically every day, but I knew he meant it as more of an “I love you as a friend” type thing.

“I love you too, Jimmy,” I reply, moving over slightly so I can get under the covers and go to bed. I was exhausted. I had barely eaten all day – this new “diet” thing was really getting to me, but it was certainly effective.

“No.” He sits up, frowning down at me. His tone is suddenly really serious, and it begins to scare me slightly. “No, I mean I love you, Daenerys.”

I blink. He couldn't be serious, could he? He was drunk, after all. Who knew what he was thinking right now?

“Jimmy, go to sleep,” I mutter, rolling my eyes as if it was just a joke to me. I'm hoping he's too drunk to hear the disappointment in my tone. I know he could never see me like that, after all, and that hurt.

But I was thirteen – I would get over this petty little crush eventually. I was sure of it.

I pull the covers up over my shoulders, but before I can lay down, he grabs my arm – rather roughly, I may add. I frown over at him.

“I'm being serious, Danny.” His crystal-blue eyes pierce into my soul. For some reason, I suddenly feel the overwhelming urge to cry. “I love you.”

He presses his lips against mine and I freeze up. About a million thoughts begin circling through my head. What was going on? Why was this happening? Was this for real? Am I dreaming? How do I kiss? Am I kissing back? Should my eyes be closed, too? Isn't this illegal? What would happen if someone found out? Do I feel the same?

I could answer that last question for sure – yes. Yes I did.

Anything could happen on tour, I learned. And after everything that had happened with Brian, I knew I certainly did not want to be a part of it.

"...I just don't want you to do something stupid while we're gone." My head snaps up, having spaced out for a moment from what Zack was saying. I narrow my eyes at him, for some reason becoming slightly defensive.

"I would have to agree with your dad on this one."

Everyone turns to the kitchen doorway, where Brian stands, smirking over at me. I freeze up, but clearly no one notices. He steps forward so he’s standing next to Zack.

“Nice of you to join us, Brian,” Matt mutters, his tone sounding slightly annoyed. Brian just ignores him, choosing instead to keep his gaze on me.

“It’s good to finally see you again, Daenerys,” he says, as if we hadn’t been living together for the last six months. This makes me slightly angry, but I don’t say anything.

“So it’s settled then.” Matt claps his hands together and stares over at me fiercely. “We’ll get Danny a passport so she can join us for the European tour.” I glare over at him, but this doesn’t do anything for me.

Johnny squeezes my shoulder gently. “Don’t worry, Danny. You’ll have fun – I’m sure of it.” But from the look Brian continues to give me, I can tell that no, no I wasn’t.

Notes

A/N: okayyy i bet the big question for a lot of subscibers right now is something along the lines of "it's been six months since this story has been updated... is it finally making a comback??

UHMM i don't know.

I don't! I'm sorry I got really, really stuck and very uninspired for a good five months and only recently have I begun writing again so I'm not sure if this update means this story will be "making a comeback" anytime soon, but I found out I hadn't posted this chapter even though I wrote it and it was ready to post. I felt bad for not working on it much - I had originally promised myself back when I had started posting things on here that I'd never leave a story unfinished, and I think that still applies, even if it takes months or... years...

OH, yeah and if you're curious about anything else I'm working on, go ahead and read this. (i'm probably going to start blogging regularly anyway, if i can :)

thanks for reading guys, it really means a lot, especially if you've been waiting six months for an update

~aicon~