I go through the liberty of setting the table, even though there is really no formality in eating pizza. But I don't care, because it was nice to finally not have to eat dinner alone, since he was almost always at the studio late. Hell, it was nice to finally not having to be alone in general. And I'll be damned if my time with him was spent with us staring at the TV screen for hours.

He chuckles when he walks into the dining room from the entry hall, carrying two pizza boxes – two! – in his hands. “How come you set the table?” he asks, raising an amused eyebrow at me.

“Why did you order two pizzas?” I demand in retaliation, placing my hands on my hips.

“I'm hungry,” he shrugs, as if this is a completely justified explanation. I just roll my eyes as he sets the boxes down. He smirks at me, indicating for me to take my usual seat beside him.

We spend the first few minutes in silence. I pick at the cheese pizza on my plate, anxious to say something about that morning. The mess he left in the room, the glass of water... But I can't bring myself to say anything. I don't want him to get... angry at me again.

“So,” he begins suddenly, which causes me to jump slightly. “What did you do today?” I felt like he asked this question way too often – every time he saw me, he would ask me what I had done that day. And the answer was always the same.

“I cleaned, “I mutter, tearing the cheese off the pizza. He watches me carefully. I can tell he's dying to say something about my poor eating habits, but he knows better than to start that argument again.

He sighs, taking a sip of his beer. “Danny...”

There it is. That disappointed tone again.

“Danny, this is what I've been talking about. You can't just spend your days cleaning everything over and over again – it makes you seem like you're mentally insane!”

“I can't really help it,” I say quietly, choosing to ignore his petty jab at my mental health. “There's nothing else to do – as long as I have nowhere to go, then I have to clean.”

I'm hoping he'll take the hint, and suggest I go out more. However, to my disappointment, he just sighs again, this time running a hand down his face. I know what's coming next – the usual arguments; “i spent two million on this house for a reason, Danny” or the “there are so many unused rooms in this house; of course there's plenty to do!” I had heard it over and over again at least a thousand times before, and I was quite honestly growing sick of it.

But it doesn't come. For some reason, instead what does is, “Maybe you should get a job.”

I freeze. I hadn't expected him to say that at all – he was so overprotective of me. He wouldn't allow me to go out often. In fact, he barely did, unless he was with me. But I knew that he only wanted the best for me.

It was because of the fans, he said. My little “stunt” certainly hadn't gone unnoticed. As soon as the fans of Avenged Sevenfold found out that Zacky Vengeance's daughter tried to kill herself – or that he even had a daughter at all – shit hit the fucking fan. They constantly harassed not only Zack, but the rest of the band members. They'd show up wherever they went, bombarding them with questions about me. It took over a year for all the commotion to die down, and another six months for the guys to finally be comfortable with leaving their homes again. Even so, people still talk about me – at least according to Brian. Whether it be online, or just generally – everyone seemed to know who I was, and he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable in any way.

The worst part however, was that they never found about Erin, somehow. All they know is about the mentally unstable one; the druggie; the fuck-up – me.

I let out a long breath, realizing that I've let too much time pass since he's said this, and he's currently staring at me, waiting for me to say something.

“...What?”

“You heard me,” he says, shrugging as if it's no big deal.

But it is a big deal. At least to me it is.

“But... But what would I do?”

There was nothing I could think of at the top of my head that wouldn't involve at least a high school diploma – at least, not one that didn't involve flipping burgers for six hours straight. And it wasn't like I was real good in school, either. I barely had a 2.5 grade-point average, which I knew wouldn't get me very far in life. Hell, if it weren't for Brian, I would probably be out on the streets by now.

He runs another hand down his face, looking tired of me already. He locks eyes with mine for a moment, and I shift under his gaze.

“I don't know, Danny. You can think of something.”

“I didn't even finish high school, Bri,” I mutter. “And before you say anything about you and the guys not finishing, either, it's not like I have any talent to speak of that would get me anywhere.”

“I'm sure there's something...” I just shake my head, cutting him off completely.

“Nope. Nothing I can think of.” He rests a hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

“You'll find something,” he whispers, smiling softly at me. “And I think I already have an idea.” I raise a skeptical eyebrow at him.

“What do you have in mind?” I ask.

“Well, we're leaving for tour in a few weeks...” I decide to stop him right there.

“I know what you're getting at,” I say immediately. “I'm not going on tour with Zack.” He sighs again, shaking his head at me.

“You'll have to face him eventually, Danny. You can't avoid him forever – especially not when you're living under my roof.”

“I can as long as I stay hidden.”

“That's not going to last long, and you know it.”

“It lasted six months, didn't it?” I snap, raising my voice slightly.

“There's no need to yell, Danny,” he speaks calmly, which just annoys me.

“I don't want to see him,” I announce with finality, folding my arms across my chest and slumping down in my chair.

“Danny, your father loves you very much.” I roll my eyes. We've been over this before. In fact, I almost preferred the usual “you don't need to clean” arguments over this. “He wants to see you again so bad. He's scared and lost and confused as to where you went – he's miserable, Danny. The only things keeping him grounded right now are the band, and Jess.”

Jess.

I hadn't heard much about the mysterious blonde that had managed to capture my father's heart, not two years ago. They had met at one of their shows, and hit it off almost immediately. Since she lived in Washington however, they had to maintain an eight-month long-distance relationship, until Zack was able to convince her to accept a job as one of his models for his clothing line, Vengeance University. Three months later, he proposed; six months later, they were married.

One month later, while they were on their honeymoon, I woke up and went to live with Brian, before anyone could find out.

From the things Brian had told me over the past six months, I could tell Zack was getting restless about my whereabouts. I was glad that he had at least respected my wishes – the ones I had put in the note I left for him – and not tried looking for me.

Though, in a way, I guess I could perceive this as him being neglectful again, but Brian had been helping me to be less pessimistic, so I often try not to see it that way.

“I'm not ready, Brian,” I whisper. “I don't know if I can face him. Especially not now. Not when I'm still waiting to hear...” I stop and shake my head.

“I know you're worried about what people will think of... us.” He grabs my hand in his, brushing across the top gently with his thumb. “But he doesn't have to know about us right away.” I smile weakly at him.

“But what if...–?”

“We'll worry about it if it happens,” he cuts me off. “If. And to be quite honest, I don't think it will.”

I highly doubt that.

“Please consider it, Danny,” he mutters, bringing my hand to his lips and pressing them gently against my knuckles. “I don't think I can bear the thought of leaving you here alone for so long.”

“I'll consider it,” I promise softly. He smiles.

“That's all I can ask of you.”

~

The next morning, the alarm doesn't go off, and I don't wake up until the sun finally rises. And when I do, Brian's arm is draped comfortably over my body. I smile to myself. I honestly wished I could wake up this way every morning – peacefully and happily.

The second I move underneath him, his eyes open, and he smiles softly at me. “Hey, beautiful,” he mutters, kissing the side of my head.

“Hey,” I breathe back. “Shouldn't you be at the studio?” He shakes his head.

“Nah, they can live without me for a day... or maybe a week.” He smirks before pulling my body closer to his. “God, I wish I could do this every morning.” I nod in agreement. “You hungry?”

“Not really,” I admit quietly, which causes him to frown.

“You barely ate yesterday,” he points out, concern lacing his voice. “You need to eat more, Danny. You're just skin and bones.”

“I've already told you – it's not like I'm going to suddenly start eating normally.”

“Just like you're not going to just get better, either,” he mutters.

“Can we please not argue?”

It's not a question, and he knows this. He sighs reluctantly and nods.

“I'm just worried about you, you know?” I sigh too. “I love you so much – I would never forgive myself if I were to lose you to something I knew I could've helped prevent.”

“I love you, too,” I say, pecking his lips. “And trust me when I say you are not going to lose me any time soon – in fact, you're stuck with me, Mr. Haner.”

“I think I can live with that,” he growls sexily. I giggle as he nips at my neck. “God, I fucking love you, Daenerys.”

I feel my face heat up slightly. For some reason, I still hadn't gotten used to him saying that to me, nor had I gotten used to saying it back.

“You're so fucking beautiful.” He stares at me for a moment, and I feel my face heat up even more. He runs a hand down the side of my face and I shiver at his touch.

But the moment's ruined when the phone on the nightstand goes off. He curses under his breath.

“I swear to god, if it's Matt...” He rolls over so he can check the caller ID. He tenses up slightly when he sees it.

“Who is it?” I ask, sitting up with him. He holds out a hand to silence me before answering it himself. I wrap my arms around his free one as he answers.

“Hello?” He clenches his jaw slightly. “Sorry, she's not here right now.” The voice that comes through on the other side sounds female. “I'm her... husband.” I blink slightly. “Yeah, yeah I can take a message.” The call was for me. Why wasn't he letting me answer?

He listens for a minute. He begins to tense up even more – if that was even possible.

“Alright, thank you.” His voice sounds strained. “I'll let her know when she gets back.”

He hangs up, tossing the phone onto the bed.

“Who was it?” I ask quietly. My fingernails begin to dig into his muscle slightly, though he doesn't seem too bothered by this.

He stares at me for a moment before letting out a small sigh. “The test results came back.” I feel my breath hitch in my throat.

“What did they say?” I ask, secretly dreading the answer.

“They came back positive.”

I freeze up. My heart begins to pound and I can feel a panic attack coming on. I already know what this means, but I'm waiting for him to say it out loud for me – I know that when he does, it will make everything real.

“Danny.” He pinches my thumb between his thumb and forefinger. Tears fill his chocolate brown eyes. Tears fill mine as well. “Danny, we're going to be parents.”

I was three months late. This couldn't be happening. I was barely thirteen – I couldn't be pregnant. I couldn't be having a baby with a man that was nearly twice my age. It was insane.

I couldn't tell anyone, but I had to get rid of it. No one could ever know, especially Jimmy.

I had no attachment to the fetus growing inside me. I didn't understand what it meant to be pregnant. Sure, we had gone over it during that brief unit in middle school, where they split the class up according to gender, so they could give them “the talk”. But they never really explained to us what it's like. What it's like to be pregnant.

I knew that I was, though. There was no doubt about it – I didn't need a plastic stick to tell me the truth. I already knew for a fact that I was pregnant.

Options begin running through my head. Tell someone? That was out of the question – Jimmy could get in a lot of trouble. He could be taken away from me. I couldn't lose him. He was my everything. I couldn't tell him either though, because chances are, he'd probably leave me, too.

I had no other option but to find a way to get rid of it on my own. I didn't have any money, so abortion was out of the question. So, I decided to turn to my only other alternative.

Alcohol.

I watch silently as Brian moves around the room. I can tell he's trying hard not to seem like he's in a hurry. Tears fill my eyes as he throws the remainder of his clothes into a duffel bag and zips it up.

“Do you have to go?” I ask quietly. He stops for a moment to look up at me. His deep brown eyes are hard and cold – I don't understand why. Did I do something wrong?

He gives me a sad smile. “I just... I just think we need a break.” My heart breaks even more as he repeats the words he had spoken only hours earlier. It couldn't be true – he couldn't be serious.

But the look he gives me when he the tears finally spill over and begin to splash down my cheeks, makes me realize that this is real – that he was really leaving me.

“I thought you loved me,” I whisper without thinking. He just shakes his head at me.

“I... I don't know, Daenerys. I just... I'm not sure what I feel, to be honest. Is it love? Or is it just... lust?” I open my mouth to argue, but he silences it with a simple hand gesture. “You can keep the house for now... Just... Just don't worry about anything, okay? We'll figure it out... eventually.”

His words do little to nothing to reassure me.

He's not coming back – I know he isn't. He doesn't truly love me – he never did. All he ever did was use me for sex – that's how it started, and that's how it ended. And now that I was pregnant, he was completely abandoning me. He didn't want anything to do with me or his baby.

My baby.

He used me.

And I was just about to let him walk out, just like that.

Admittedly enough, my relationship with Brian didn't start out as something – or anything – normal. I needed a place to stay – he wanted company. So, I agreed to let him use me however he liked, so long as he didn't mention anything about me to any of the guys. Sure, it was wrong. But I needed a place, and he seemed to need me – he seemed to want me. And over time, I began to grow feelings for him. Feelings that, at the time, did not seem unrequited. But I knew the truth now.

And it hurt.

“I'll... I'll see you later, Daenerys,” he mutters as he walks out the bedroom door. As soon as it shuts behind him, I let loose the waterworks in my eyes.

He was gone – and he wasn't coming back.

~

It was one thing, I learned, to be alone in the mansion Brian owned, knowing that he wouldn't be coming home. It felt cold an eerie. At least I could now turn up the thermostat as high as I wanted, without him yelling at me that it was “too hot”.

God, I was so fucking cold. I hadn't noticed it much before, because something was constantly on my mind. Whether it be about Zack, or Jimmy, or Erin, or Will... Someone always had a way of following me everywhere I went, even if it was just in my thoughts. It drove me mad, but at the same time, it kept me sane.

Now that I was completely and utterly alone, I could feel myself growing mad every second. I feel... strange. Empty. Cold. My skin itches. I feel like I don't belong – like I shouldn't be alive. Those thoughts were what sent me over the edge – every time, it was what caused me to break. I want to take a blade to my skin so bad, but Brian never allowed me a razor – he locked up everything sharp.

But it itches. So bad. I want to scratch until my skin tears off. It's not right – but no one is here to stop me. So I scratch. My nails are sharper than they've been in a while, so it makes it easier. It's a lot easier to reopen the cuts that I had thought scabbed over the past four years – apparently, they had been deeper than I ever thought.

Soon my arms a bloody mess. There's blood all over the entryway floor, but it's not like Brian would be finding out anytime soon. The skin burns, but it feels good. It feels good to feel pain again.

The first time I ever tried to kill myself was just three months after I turned ten. It wasn't a cry for attention. I didn't even bother writing a note. I just woke up one morning and realized that it would be better for everyone if I was just... dead. Margaret had made it quite clear that I was nothing more than a mistake. Zack didn't want me – that much was obvious. I had no friends at school because of the shit Payton and Erin said about me behind my back.

I was well and truly alone, and deep down, I knew I deserved it. I was a horrible child – a mistake. I ruined Margaret's and Zack's lives. They would thank me for this.

I knew they would.

Maybe I was better off dead – all I ever seemed to do was ruin things for other people. “Quit being so selfish, Danny” “this isn't about you, Danny, this is about your sister” “you ruin everything – you're nothing but a mistake”.

But Zack...

Zack never really said any of that to me, did he? I don't remember – all I remember is he was never there. Every time I did try to kill myself, and I was rushed to the hospital, he never showed up. I asked for him, but he never came – and eventually, I gave up on the idea.

Zack was just another person on the list of people who I needed, but were never there.

Hell, he was at the top of the list.

But four years is a long time.

I hadn't stopped crying in days. Even once they released me form the hospital, I wasn't able to stop. I locked myself in my room, staring at my cellphone, as if it would magically make him call. When he doesn't, I hit his speed dial number. I press it to my ear, biting my lip nervously; waiting to hear the familiar voicemail that tells me that he isn't available right now.

But it doesn't come.

“Hello?”

My father's voice drifts though the other end of the phone. I feel a weight get lifted off my chest and I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Daddy?” My whiny prepubescent voice squeaks and cracks in all the right – and wrong – places. I hear him breathe out slowly. It sounds strained – like he's holding something back.

“Daenerys.” He sounds... disappointed. Like he doesn't want to talk to me.

I wouldn't want to talk to me, either.

“What's up, kiddo?”

Now his tone sounds... natural. As if nothing's wrong.

But something is wrong, and he knows that. So why is he acting as if everything's okay?

“Daddy? I thought... I thought you were ignoring me...” I cry, not bothering to consider my words before I spoke. I just said what I was thinking – I said what I believed needed to be said.

“I wasn't ignoring you... necessarily.”

“What... What's that supposed to mean?” My voice is barely a whisper. There's this unfamiliar feeling in my chest. What is it, exactly? Pain? Guilt? Shock? Hurt?

Probably all of it.

“Honey, it's just that I've been so busy and you keep calling me...” He trails off. I bite my lip to stifle a sob.

“But... I need you...!” My voice is nothing but a strangled gasp, filled with nothing but pain. But did he care?

Doubt it.

“I'm sorry, Danny. I have to go. I'll talk to you later, okay?”

There's a click on the other end.

He hung up on me.

No 'I love you, Danny' or 'I miss you, Danny' or 'be good for your mother, Danny'.

Nope. He just hung up on me. Like I didn't matter. Like nothing I did mattered to him.

He didn't love me. He was just as bad as everyone else.

Four years is a long time.

Maybe it was just long enough.

Notes

A/N: I hope the whole flashback thing wasn't too confusing. Admittedly I got my inspiration from reading "Bless The Beasts and the Children" for English class, so there will probably be more flashbacks throughout the rest of the story, that kind of reveal little things about Danny's life and the influences the guys had on her.

I literally rewrote this chapter five times, so I'm still way behind on writing this. Hopefully I'll catch up soon, but school is also a bit of a personal priority right now so we'll just have to see...

Hope you enjoyed!

~WOLFY~