High Voltage

The warm sunlight was the reason behind my awakening. Brian’s head was resting on the pillow beside and only his bare back was facing me. I figured he won’t be getting up early, knowing he must have a one heck of a hangover, not mentioning the physical activities of last night after whom he usually slept like a dead man.

Slowly I sat up on the bed, stretching out my aching muscles. He’ll really be the death of me... I sighed and stood up, throwing the silky bathrobe around my naked body, before taking my phone from the nightstand and exiting the bedroom.

Once I unlocked my phone, I figured someone’s really trying to get a hold of me. Five unread messages. Oh boy, here we go.

I’m so sorry for what I did. I talked to your dad and he told me everything. I can’t believe I said what I did! We need to meet and talk this out. –Travis.

Hey butthead, how’s Bali? Bring me something creepy as a souvenir! –Chris.

Meg I’m gonna kill u!!! Zacky’s showing everyone a pic of ur boobs and Sanders wants me to get a boob job! –Bailoreeno.

Hi, honey. How’s your trip? Lady and I are really missing you! –Paps.

Meg, I mean it... I’m sorry and I don’t want to loose you. Please, give me a second chance. I love you, babe! –Travis.

Yeah... love me my ass. I rolled my eyes and deciding to answer only to my dad.

I’m missing you both too! And Bali is amazing. We even met Skinny yesterday. Remember the one from Mushroomhead? He’s here with his wife. So step by step and Brian got drunk, which led to a karaoke debut. Anyhow, I’ll send you some pictures later! Hug Lady from me!

As I pressed the ‘send’ key and decided to make myself a good, big mug of coffee. Thank god they had a coffee maker here, otherwise I don’t think I would’ve survived the day. As I was waiting for the mug to fill with the caffeine repleted goodness, I couldn’t bare, but repeat the last text of Travis’ in my head. How the fuck dared he? If that was love, I surely wanted out.

Knowing my hotheaded self and my disability from keeping my sneaky little fingers away from writing something snappy, I took the phone yet again.

I’m in Bali. If u want a second chance, come here and apologize eye to eye.

And send. There’s no fucking way he’s coming to Bali and with that I’ve gotten rid of that pesky little problem.

As I was almost evilly snickering my morning away, re-reading the message and sipping on my coffee, I nearly dropped the mug out of my hand whilst jumping on the touch of certain someone wrapping his arms around my waist. „Good morning, beautiful,” He whispered in my ear, softly kissing my neck.

„You’re up...” I said surprised, turning in his hands.

„I am,” His lips brushed against mine, „Hmm...” He licked his upper lip, thoughtfully. „Two of my favorite things in the morning... The taste of black coffee and you,”

It all would’ve been just butterflies and rainbows in the pit of my stomach, if he hadn’t pecked my lips and just snatched the mug from my fingers. „Hey!”

„Thanks, it tastes great,” He said, walking out on the patio. And now it started to come back, why I always got up at six AM, when I had to go to the studio – to have an hour or two of peace and coffee drinking, while watching the sunrise from the patio and smoking a cigarette after a cigarette. I did everything that was in my power no to wake up along with him. Either I woke up really early or I slept until noon. I couldn’t stand him stealing my coffee’s. But nevertheless, I admit it – it was a great time living with him. Speaking of which – that left a question hanging.

My feet carried me out to the patio, to see him leaning over the railings, taking in the view of the ocean in front of us. „What are we, Brian?” The confusion was hard to miss as he looked back at me.

„What do you mean?” He flicked the ash off his cigarette in our improvised ashtray which was simply a small cup we found in one of the cupboards. I walked closer to see him setting the mug on the railing cap, before pulling me in a one armed hug.

„I mean... where do we both stand?” He took a puff, before handing me the half smoked cigarette.

His gaze traveled back to the ocean, as I raised the cigarette to my lips. „On a solid ground.” He smirked lightly, before moving to kiss my temple. „And together.”

„What about Alice?” I saw his lineament tensing. Hadn’t thought about that, huh? Well I have. Ever since you crashed on the bed beside me. I probably should’ve told him that she was fucking Paul, but somehow that didn’t feel like a too great of an idea.

„Do you see a ring on her finger?” He asked, turning to look at me, a mischievous grin to his face.

„I don’t see a ring on my finger,” I argued, knowing very well I’d been the one to blame for it.

„That’s probably because you threw it in my face along your fist,” He smirked. The memory was very blurry, but I can bet on a hundred bucks it was an action movie worthy scene.

„Don’t tell me you didn’t deserve it,” I snickered, blowing smoke straight in his face.

„Since when have you turned into Synyster Gates?” He raised the red mug to his lips, before focusing his eyes on me. „You weren’t this cocky when I first met you.”

„I learn from the best,” I smiled wickedly, putting out the cigarette against the side of the cup. „So where’s my ring?” I hoped it was still happily chilling somewhere in Casa del Syn and not gracing a finger of some street hobo. I remembered that beauty, had never seen anything like it. A black rock, guarded by two skulls from each side. I had talked Brian into insuring the thing in case of I kinda loose it during my crazy hours.

„In my suitcase,”

„Oh, okay... At least it’s safe—„ Wait, what? Take that fucking smug smirk off your face, Brian Elwin Haner junior! What the fuck did he mean in his fucking suitcase? Like the same fucking suitcase that was in the bedroom... here in Bali? The same fucking leather piece? My eyes narrowed on him, „you think you’re smart...”

He just grinned, emptying the mug and returning to stare over the ocean.

„You had this all figured out, didn’t you?” I looked up at him, feeling his hand caressing my shoulder. „You took me to this magnificent place just to lure me in your fishnets again, I should’ve fucking known...”

„Fishnets?” he chuckled amused, giving me a moment of his warm browns.

„You know, if I had to come up with a diabolical plan of getting a girl to say yes to me yet a-fucking-gain, I’d never bring her to Bali.” I said matter of factly, leaning into his side.

„Why not?” He asked, placing his hand on top of mine that had snaked around his waist.

„Because she’d say yes being in a paradise like place, living the fucking dream and when we’d return home, the dream would shatter, because of all the obligations and duties and there would be only a ring left to remind of the dream.” I explained thoughtfully, „That’s why I’d propose in a complete shithole... like Manhattan!”

He graced me with a patient look, „I did propose when we were in the fucking Manhattan,”

„See? And we lived happily ever after,”

„You dumped me,” He replied with a straight face. Yeah, we both knew about the circumstances of the time, so I figured it would be for the best to just drop the subject... or not.

„You had it coming.”

„You gave me a black eye,” Seriously, dude? You can’t get over it?

„You’re welcome.” If it hadn’t been for the punch to the face, he’d never understand that I was really leaving. „But I don’t want to argue with you. Can you just tell me why the hell did you go out of your mind back then?”

I saw his jaw tensing as a heavy sigh escaped him. „You lost the baby...”

„Yeah, well, I think I noticed it also besides you screaming at me,” You’d think I wouldn’t notice a stream of blood flowing down my legs in the middle of doing a show. Well... actually I didn’t. It was Paul who noticed it and stopped our gig in Long Beach and guess what, he was the one to take me to the hospital. The reason why I didn’t notice it – I was in unbearable pain for the majority of the show, since Frank had knocked me with the neck of his bass on accident. You’d figure a smart person would stop the gig and make sure the child and herself are fine and only then carry on with it, but you’re missing out on a certain something. We’re the Beautiful Wasteland. We don’t halt a show for anything. That time when I broke my ribs? I got up and finished the show and only then went to the hospital. Chris once attempted to get on a riser, but slipped in the process, messing up his face dearly. He broke his nose and did the whole show looking simply wrong.

Anyhow, Paul told the ‘terrific’ news to Brian since the nurses and doctors were doing everything so I don’t bleed out and I was kinda in my own merry go round of whatever drug they injected me with. Just now I recalled that there was actually someone else that knew about the miscarriage besides Matt and Brian. Paul had been so out of the picture lately that I barely remembered he even exists, let alone that he had helped me. To the press and fans he told that I had some malfunction with my ovaries. That was kinda smart, explained the blood flowing down my stockings.

Later I found out I had lost the baby only because I had done the show. The heat was unbearable that night and I had forced my body in a corsage to hide the small bump. One wrong move after another. In the middle of the show, Frank had knocked me with his bass which I just shrugged off, figuring the pain will fade away once I carry on with the show. Before you say I’m stupid, I know I am, but I thought if I could do a show with broken ribs, couldn’t I do with a small person inside me?

„Look, up until you got pregnant, I was certain I can’t have kids,” He started and I kinda just look at him with – whaaaat? What the hell you talking ‘bout. „Not that I really wanted them, but anyhow... When you told me we’re gonna have a kid, at first I thought you’re cheating on me, but then I realized we’re talking about you.”

„Gee, thanks babe,” I scoffed. He couldn’t have kids? Well that explained why he had that small rat of a dog – Pinkly and why she was a spoiled little brat.

„So... when I realized it’s mine, I built this euphoric like bubble around me and you already know what happened when Paul broke it down.” I wanted to crack a joke about him actually having feelings, but I figured this is not the time. Bummer.

„Okay, so where’s that ring of mine?” I took his hand and dragged him inside.

I’ll be damned if I let this man slip out of my reach ever again.

„You really want to marry me? After everything...” Why was it so hard to believe? Yes, Raven McQueen was willing to settle down if only Synyster Gates decided to do the same. I still lived by that oldschool rule – if something’s broken, you need to fix it.

„Well, technically, I already own you,” I pointed out to the tattoo on his side, while making my way through the living room. „I’m not super stoked on being a Haner, but what can ya’ do?” I teased, mimicking him by using the exact same Irish accent he uses while goofing around.

„And you’re not gonna leave me by the altar the true Raven McQueen style...”

„When have I left anyone by the altar?” I exclaimed, bending over in front of the suitcase. „Brian, where the fuck is it?”

„It has to be there,” He said casually. Yea, it’s his bag, why the hell can’t he come and find it?

„It’s not! You have to be fucking kidding me...” I brushed my fingers through my hair. I swear, I’m gonna cut someone’s balls off if they figured it would be wise to rob Megan Hills’ future husband! I searched every possible pocket, but found absolutely nothing. „Bri, we have to report a theft!” I turned my head to look back, only to see him leaning against the door frame, a smug smirk on his face. „Oh you son of a bitch...”

„What?” Oh, you’re so dead, buddy.

„I swear I’m gonna kill you!”

„What did I do?”

„Cough it up!” I exclaimed.

„You mean this?” He held up the black diamond ring, which just seconds ago made me nearly have a heart-attack figuring someone’s jacked it.

„Why the hell did you make me go through all your stuff, if you had it in your fucking pocket all the time?” I was still screaming, not being able to regain from the shock.

„I just wanted to see how badly you want to be my wife.”

„Now are you satisfied?” I held out my hand, so he’d take it and slid the ring on my finger, before pressing his smirking lips against my skin.

„Yes.”

Notes