A Little Piece Of Heaven

Chapter Forty-Nine:

I floated around my bedroom. My bedroom. I stopped and thought about how nice that sounded. I smiled, unable to contain the joyfulness I’m feeling. I bustled around, taking care in my appearance. I decided on a soft, maxi dress that fell just below my feet. The sleeves came just above my elbow and it has a low, swoop neckline. I paired it with a light grey camisole. I flatted out the wrinkles with my fingers and looked at my reflection. The emerald color of the dress did wonders for my skin-tone.

I put on a pair of grey flats on decided not to add jewelry. I put on light makeup and slipped on a long cream sweater that buttoned just below my bust. I grabbed my bag and went downstairs.

Whether it’s my medicine or knowing that Eric is going to be in jail for a very long time, I’m feeling wonderful today. I feel like I could walk to the moon, if I really wanted to. I’m still in denial. I feel like at any second, everything could come crashing down. I guess it’ll take awhile to sink in.

I’m supposed to go to Los Angeles with Jared and Matt later on. He’s decided that he needs to step up as a father – more than he already has. He’s letting me pick out a room at his place and we’re going to go shopping and decorate it this weekend. Matt asked to tag along. Jared obliged, saying it would be good for us to get out of town for a bit.

Jace has been unusually friendly towards Matt, staying true to his word. I love it. My two favorite guys are finally getting along.

I’m going to keep my room here at the Atwood’s. With the school year still going on, it makes sense. I doubt I’d ever leave, completely. I’d miss them too much.

I’ve gotten a few acceptance letters to universities around the country. There’s a promising school by Jared’s in Los Angeles. It has a killer writing program that I’m interested. Money isn’t an issue and I would really like to get to know my father better.

Matt and the band are going to go up to LA in the summer to keep recording. Jared has already gotten them a few gigs to promote their upcoming album.They’ll be around, so being away from home will be easier. Jace and Gwen both swore that they would come visit if I chose to go spend the summer in LA.

Who knows? Maybe Jace can even find a honey for himself. I hate that he’s been single and he’s been holding out for me, while I’ve been with someone else. He’s a great guy and if it wasn’t for Matt, our relationship would be completely different – there’s no doubt in my mind.

“You’re up early, Gel.” Jace swatted my butt with a dish towel. I made a face at him and sat down with a bowl of fruit.

“I have an appointment with Alex soon.” I reminded him. He nodded slowly.

“I see.” He said, plopping down next to me. “Is mom taking you?”

“I think she’s working this morning.” I shrugged, taking a bite.

“I can take you.” He offered.

“That wouldn’t be weird?” I asked. He shook his head.

“You’re my girl. I think I can handle hanging out in the waiting room for an hour, for you.” He smiled.

“That’s because you’re awesome.”

“You know it.” He grinned. I rolled my eyes. He leaned over and picked fruit out of my bowl with his fingers.

“You have no manners.”

“You’ve never complained before.”

“Yes, I have – you just have selective hearing.”

“What’d you say?”

“Typical man.”

-.-

“Hello Angela,” Alex greeted me, warmly. I smiled.

“Hi,” I responded, suddenly unsure of my words. “He was convicted.” I blurted. He nodded.

“Gwen told me yesterday. I’m pleased to hear it. How are you feeling?” He asked me, handing me a cup of coffee. I sipped it, gingerly.

“I feel like a massive weight was lifted off of me. The past few years have felt like the weight of the world was solely on me and now, it’s finally gone. I can’t believe it.” I gushed.

“I’m proud of you.”

“I didn’t do much.”

“You stood up to the man that abused you. That’s more than most can say.”

“If I had done it sooner, maybe I wouldn’t have suffered as long.” I whispered. The endless ‘what-if’ scenarios flashed through my mind.

“Angela, you did all that you could do. Do you honestly doubt that?” He asked me. I shook my head before I could over-think things. “Then don’t start second-guessing yourself. Now is the time to think about what you want in life. It’s your life. No one can take that from you. Now is your time to flourish. I want you to take your life by the balls and live it to the fullest. Do you think that you can do that?” He asked me.

I opened my mouth, only to close it. I looked up at him. Do I think I can do that? I’m not sure. Can I do it? I’m going to damn well try. I won’t over-think it. Can I do it? I don’t know. Am I going to do it? Yes. “I will.” I told him, shocked at how confident I sounded.

“What do you want to do, Angela?”

“I want to write.”

“Is that all?” He asked me.

“I want to get my writing published. I want my artwork to be known. I want to be happy. I want to stop being afraid to love someone without feeling like they will end up hitting me.” I breathed. He nodded.

“You will get there, if that’s what you really want. There is no doubt in my mind that you will make that happen for yourself. As for your relationship, I’m not going to lie to you – it’s going to take time. Start with baby steps. You’re going to have communicate your fears with Matt. You need to tell him what you’re feeling and what you’re afraid of. I think that will help you. If you need to, you can bring him to your next session and we can all talk together.” He offered.

“I’ve been trying to talk to him, but I don’t want to push things.”

“He’s stayed with you through almost all of this. You need to give him some more credit. He’s not a little boy.”

“Okay. I’ll start communicating more things with him. If I have trouble… I’ll bring him to my next session.” I agreed.

-.-

I laid next to Matt on his bed. He was peppering small kisses on the side of my face. I relaxed completely in his embrace. I feel so safe right now.

“Can we talk?” I asked him. He looked up at me, nervously.

“Those are the words that no man wants to hear.” He sighed.

“I want to explain where my head is.” I told him quietly. He nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” He kissed my forehead and listened to me try and explain the blur of emotions flooding my head. He didn’t say much; just let me say my piece. He didn’t look bothered or offended. My throat was dry and my jaw tired by the time I finished my spiel. We laid quietly. I could almost see his thought process as he digested my words. He cleared his throat and I refocused on his eyes. “If you ever want me to sit in during a session with you, I have no problems doing that.” He assured me. I squeezed his hand. “I meant what I said when I told you that I was in this for the long haul. When I think about our relationship, it’s not just some high school fling. I see my future with you, Angela. I don’t want to lose you. I’m going to prove to you that I’m a man worthy of your love. You deserve the world and I’m going to try to give it to you. We can take things as slow as you want to. As far as sex goes, I’m not going to pressure you on anything. You can let me know when you’re ready to try and take things further. I know that you’re healing and it’s going to take awhile. I’m fully capable to taking care of things on my end solo.” He smiled, wryly, while gesturing to his hand. I laughed. “I know we’re still young and I’m not going to rush us, but I can see myself marrying you someday.” He wrapped his arms around me. “You’re my dream woman. I don’t want anyone else.” He promised. I felt my nose burning and happy tears threatening to spill down my face. Boy has a way with his words.

“You have no idea how much that means to me.” I whispered. I buried my face in his shirt. He just held me tighter. “I appreciate you and how much you do for me. Your support means so much to me.” I told him. “I love you so much, it scares me. The only love I’ve known romantically was so warped and destructive. I want to learn how to do things right with you.” I told him. I was weeping now, at a loss for words. Every time we’ve come up against something, he’s surprised me.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered. And he didn’t. We stayed there all night.

Notes

Alright everyone, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been following this story and commenting. It really does mean a lot. I can't believe this monster of a story is nearly over. The epilogue will be the next and final chapter. Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think. :-)
-Katie