Two Vibrant Hearts

(I deem it necessary that readers should listen to Unholy Confessions while reading this chapter, since it is the grand finale.)

I stared in concentration as I tried to keep my hand steady. I pressed lightly on the concrete as I colored in a pair of eyes, my mark. I looked around at all the other drawings on the wall, jealous of the artistic skill that every man and woman possessed who had been here before me. I heard a door open in the distance but didn’t look up, wanting to finish coloring in the iris, barely grazing the blue chalk against the floor to create the lightest part of the iris. I heard the clinking of metal to look up and see Brandon.
“Jessica Caron?” Brandon said stiffly. I flicked my eyebrows and he bowed his head a little. “Your friends are here to pick you up.”
“Finally, it’s freezing in here.” I complained as I stood up. Brandon chuckled and opened up the heavy metal bars, stepping in to look at the mark I had made on the floor. “Do you not have sympathy to those who are stuck in here?”
“Jess, I’m a cop. You’re in jail. Did you really just ask me that?” Brandon scoffed. I shrugged and stepped away from my master piece. Brandon glanced down at it and smiled. “That’s pretty good. I’ll make sure to spray it so it doesn’t come off.”
“I’m sure it’ll creep out all the future inhabiters of this cell.” I chuckled, admiring how gracefully scary I had made the eyes.
“Definitely. I like how you added the veins in it.” Brandon complimented. I put a hand on my heart and smiled bashfully. Brandon laughed and side-hugged me before patting my back. “Goodbye, Jessica. I better not see you in here again for battery.”
“Hey, she deserved it.” I argued jokingly. He gave me a stern look, but I could tell he was doing it half-heartedly.
“According to the law, ‘she deserved it’ is not a liable excuse.”Brandon smirked. I shrugged and began walking out, feeling weightless as I was finally freed from the county jail. I began walking to the door before turning back to Brandon, who was beginning to lock up the cell I had only just left.
“If you ever want to hang out, feel free to look me up. I’m sure you’re a hoot-and-a-holler when you’re not on the job.” I snickered, smiling genuinely. Brandon rolled his eyes and nodded before gesturing me to leave. I shot him one more grin before shoving open the heavy door and entering the front room with two very shocked eyes staring at me.
~
“Is this really necessary, officer.… Johnson?” I mumbled as the cop roughly shoved me into the cop car. I had been so lucky that Emma wasn’t at the apartment during the time that a cop showed up saying he was taking me to jail for a night or so due to my crime of ‘battery’ against Gayle. The cop laughed and rolled his eyes as he shut the door behind me.
“Ms. Caron, you gave that poor woman a concussion, a broken nose and three cracked ribs. I’m pretty sure this is necessary.” The cop replied as he slid into the car. I huffed and slid down in the seat, trying not to mumble loudly about how Gayle did, in fact, deserve to be beaten to a pulp. Officer Johnson looked back at me and watched until I pulled on my seatbelt before backing out of the parking lot. “Don’t worry, Ms. Caron, hopefully you won’t be in for too long. Your family just has to pay the three hundred dollar bail, since apparently you paid for two hundred of it up front.”
“I don’t have any family that lives in California, sir.” I spoke up, feeling a bit uneasy. I had never seen myself as someone who would blatantly put myself in jail, even if it wasn’t as bad as it could be. I felt a little disappointed with myself because instead of going wrathful and slamming Gayle’s disgusting face into the floor I could have just put a restraining order on her and I would have been fine.
“Well then your close friends can do so.” Officer Johnson answered. I nodded and looked out the window, feeling caged in and uncomfortable as the city passed me in a blur.
“So is this going to go on like… my life permanent record?” I questioned, burning up at the fact that I didn’t know what to call what I was talking about. Johnson’s deep brown eyes looked at me through the rear-view mirror for a second before returning to the road.
“Because this is your first federal offense it’s not going to affect you. It will show up, but it will be excused. But any other crimes after this and you will definitely stain your… life permanent record.” Johnson answered. I sighed and nodded. We both stayed silent for the rest of the ride as I stared blankly out of the window. I already knew I was going to have to get into contact with Jimmy, since he probably would find it more hilarious and wonderful than the rest of the guys, especially Zach. I thought about calling Johnny, but this was the second time I had gone hulk in front of him and he was probably eternally mortified by me. When I could get a hold of Jimmy I’d want him to tell Emma but no one else, since I really don’t want the street cred. It would be efficient for getting people to back off me if I said “I once went to jail for beating up a girl in the mall and she walked out with a concussion and cracked ribs” but I was more shocked and dissatisfied with myself for my actions.
About twenty minutes after driving in the opposite direction of my apartment, we finally arrived at a small yet intimidating grey concrete building. I let out a breath as the officer parked in the front and turned off the cruiser. He got out and rounded the car to help me out. I took his hand and thanked him quietly as he pulled me out. I was really glad I didn’t have cuffs on; since Johnson didn’t think I required them. His fingers wrapped around my upper arm, gripping me lightly as he led me into the square building. I squinted a little at the different lighting, although it was way dimmer inside the building than it was outside. I was first lightly shoved through a metal detector, which unfortunately made me take out my earrings, lip ring, keys and phone. After that Johnson pulled me towards the front counter, where there were two cops looking like they were about to take the guns from their belts and shoot themselves. Johnson let go to check me in and I looked around. The inside looked just like the outside; grey and intimidating. The only decorations were pictures of different cops when they made employee of the month.
“Ms. Caron, this way.” Johnson said, catching my attention. I followed him through a large metal door into another room that looked similar to the front room. This was different though, because along with a sleeping cop behind a desk there were three large metal doors and one barred cell. I gulped as I stared in fear at the barred cell, knowing that I would be there at least for the night; it was too late in the day to get taken out by now. Johnson hit the desk repeatedly, making the young cop to wake up in a daze. He fell out of his chair and I snickered, watching as Johnson pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation.
“Brandon, this is Ms. Caron. Your duty is to watch her. And please do not let her out like the last convict.” Johnson sighed as he exited the room.
“Convict.” I scoffed. I looked over and Brandon, who was still recovering from the fall. “So is Brandon your first name or do you have a hilariously embarrassing name that you don’t want to go by?”
“My name is Joseph Matthew Brandon, but I don’t want people calling me Jo or, more popular, Jose.” Brandon replied. I nodded as I studied the young police officer. He had to be around my age, if not as old as the guys, since his face was still pudgy and childish around the edges. He had short black hair and looked a little Hispanic, his large brown eyes accented with long black lashes. He had to be about Brian’s height, and he looked like a rookie. Brandon cleared his throat and looked around, probably trying to see if any of his superiors were watching. “So I should probably put you in the cell now.”
“I guess.” I mumbled, slumping my shoulders as Brandon began pulling out his keys. He walked to the barred cell and opened it up, ushering me to go in. I stepped in before taking a small step back, shocked at the sight. The walls and floor of the cell was covered in multi-colored drawings in what looked to be chalk. I glanced at Brandon, who was also taking in the scene. “What is this?”
“Oh, this is actually something pretty cool that the county jail does,” Brandon mused, walking over to the desk. He shuffled through things before pulling out a translucent bowl full of blocks of color. “See, when people like you come in, where you’re only here for a few days or so, we give you this bowl of chalk and you’re allowed to draw whatever you want to leave your mark. If your drawing isn’t morbid or disturbing or downright psychotic we put this spray on it that keeps it from rubbing off.”
“Wow, that’s kind of cool.” I exclaimed as I took the bowl from Brandon’s outstretched arms. I smiled and watched as Brandon’s eyes landed on my bruised and bloody hands.
“Whoa, that’s flashy.” Brandon chuckled as he grabbed one of my hands. “What did you do?”
“Well, according to the law I’m being charged with ‘battery’,” I answered, mocking Johnson’s deep voice. Brandon smirked and I mimicked him. “But in my opinion, I was making my own restraining order. I think it worked.”
“Wow, that’s kind of badass.” Brandon laughed. I grinned cheekily and he let my hand drop as I walked into the cell. I sat down on the bed and set down the bowl of chalk before looking back at Brandon, who was still smirking. “I’m going to get you some ice and bandages and then you can have your one phone call.”
“For a cop you’re kind of really cool, Brandon.” I blurted, smiling a little. Brandon just winked at me before turning around, not even bothering to shut the door. I rolled my eyes, loving how laid back and oblivious Brandon is as a cop. “You know, you left the door open. What if I just ran out?”
“I know you won’t so why bother?” Brandon called from the other side of the room. I shrugged and turned my attention to the room, admiring the different drawings on the wall. There were normal things like trees and butterflies, and then there were some weird ones like the grim reaper and distorted hand cuffs. Either way, everyone that had come through here actually had some great artistic skills and if I looked hard enough I’d probably be able to see their stories. I was pulled from my veneration of jail art when I felt a cold cloth run across my hand. I flinched and looked to see Brandon scrubbing at the dried blood—whether it was mine or Gayle’s I was honestly not sure—drying it off quickly before wrapping it and putting a small bag of ice on it. He grabbed my left hand, which wasn’t as bruised, and did the same method, leaving out the ice. I smiled and he returned it before standing up. “You can have your one phone call. I’ll be in the back of the room so I won’t be eavesdropping. The phone’s over there.” I stood up and went to the phone, quickly wanting to call Jimmy and get out of here as fast as possible. I didn’t like the feel of the place. I picked up the phone and starting reciting Jimmy’s number in my head. But instead of typing Jimmy’s number, I began typing in another number that I definitely did not mean to type in. I could have hung up the phone that second, but for some reason I didn’t. It rang three times before the phone clicked and there was static on the other side.
“Hello?” The voice called from the other line. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat.
“Sam?” I whispered quietly into the phone, my voice not strong enough to reach normal level.
“Jessica?”
*
“Jessica, is that you?” Sam asked, his voice thick with surprise. I scratched the back of my head and let out a shaky laugh.
“Uh, yeah. Hey Sam.” I answered weakly, looking around the room. Brandon was fucking around with little tubes, but I could tell he was listening in on my side of the conversation.
“Uh, hey. Did you change your phone number to a California number?” Sam wondered. I laughed again and looked away from the phone booth.
“Um, no, actually. It’s still the same phone number.” I replied, my face heating up.
“Then what phone are you using?” Sam questioned. I laughed and looked down, biting my lip at why I decided, completely out of the blue and wasting my one phone call from jail, to call up my ex-boyfriend and have a normal chat with him.
“Uh… the Orange County jail phone.” I breathed. It went silent on the other line until Sam burst into a loud fit of laughter, which caused me to jump.
“W-wait, wh-what?” Sam cackled loudly. I laughed a little, smiling at the familiar laugh filling the phone. “You mean… you, Jessica Caron, got arrested?” I mumbled in response and his laughter grew. “Why?”
“I may or may not have given a girl a concussion, a broken nose, and three cracked ribs.” I declared. I heard Brandon laugh a little in the background as I listened to choking noises over the phone.
“That is… that is priceless. Did she scream? Cry? Fetal position in her own puddle of blood?” Sam asked excitedly. I rolled my eyes and let out a silent laugh.
“All three, considering we were in the middle of the mall.” I informed him. Sam sounded so amused.
“Jess, when you beat someone up you don’t do it in public. You do it in the comfort of your own home.” Sam lectured me. I scoffed and glanced at Brandon.
“Sam, I’m in jail. You shouldn’t say that kind of stuff when I’m on their phone.” I warned him. He gasped a little and laughed.
“Sorry, sorry. I meant to say, beating someone up is bad. Don’t do it.” I laughed and Sam chimed in. It went silent for a second before he spoke up again. “So wait, if you’re in jail, is this your…”
“One phone call? Yes.” I addressed. “I meant to call another friend but my mind subconsciously typed your number in.”
“Oh.” Sam breathed. I nodded and let out a breath. “I’m glad. I’ve missed you, Jess. I mean—not miss you, but like—”
“You miss our friendship.” I interrupted, filling in for him. He made a noise of agreement and I nodded again. “I know, Sam. I miss you too. It’s been awhile.”
“Yeah, it has.” Sam agreed. “So since we’re catching up, talk to me. What happened to you after you left senior year?”
“Hm, after I graduated Emma and I ran away to Florida together and lived with my brother for a few years. Once Emma turned twenty-one she decided to move to California for a change of scene—”
“So you mean she moved to try to meet Avenged Sevenfold?” Sam interrupted, chuckling at the thought. I blushed a little and cleared my throat to continue my story.
“And a little after I turned twenty-one I moved in with Emma for a change of scene.”
“So you mean you moved to try to meet Avenged Sevenfold?” Sam repeated, his voice full of entertainment. I sighed and smiled.
“Yeah, I guess that was part of it.” I admitted.
“So how did that work out?” Sam questioned. I smirked and flicked my eyebrows, although no one could see me except perhaps Brandon.
“I met them and now we’re best friends.” I announced proudly. Sam scoffed.
“How did you manage that?” Sam inquired incredulously.
“I almost got raped at their concert and Jimmy pulled me out and saved me.” I explained.
“Jeez, Jess. Your life is just chock-full of interesting things right now.” Sam admired. I laughed and nodded before feeling a tap on my shoulder.
“Your time’s about up.” Brandon alerted me. I sighed and nodded.
“I have to go Sam.” I declared, disappointment thick in my voice. I had really enjoyed talking to Sam, and apparently I had missed him more than I had led on. “It was nice to hear your voice again.”
“It was nice to hear yours too, Jess.” Sam muttered. I smiled sadly and he let out a breath. “Once you get out of jail, call me. We can catch up more.”
“Okay.” I whispered. “Bye, Sammy.”
“Bye, Kitten.” I hung up the phone after that and looked to Brandon. He nodded his head toward the cell and I groaned before trudging into the cell. Brandon shut it after I got in with a smirk on his face.
“Did you really waste your one phone call to call an old friend?” Brandon scoffed. I shrugged and he shook his head.
“Hey, Brandon. Can you get to my cell phone and text my friend Emma that I’m on a trip for a few days?” I asked as he walked towards the back room. He laughed and gave me a thumbs up before leaving the room.
~
I snapped out of the memory of coming to the jail and walked to the front desk. I signed papers and nodded to Johnson before finally meeting Jimmy and Emma. They just gave me blank looks before turning around and stiffly walking out of the building. I walked in between them and awaited the responses to where I had actually been for three days once we got into the car. I slid into the back seat and as Jimmy pulled out he let out a deep breath.
“Damn, Nebraska. What happened?” He asked. I snickered a little and smiled; relieved from the fact that at least Jimmy wasn’t utterly disappointed in me for landing my ass in jail. I looked at Emma through the side mirror and grinned as she tried to hold back a smile.
“I may have lost my temper for a minute there.” I admitted innocently. Jimmy and Emma let out a laugh and I joined, watching as Jimmy was practically choking on air.
“I’ll say.” Jimmy cackled. I raised my eye brows a little and stuck my head between the front seats to look at their faces more clearly.
“How did you guys find out?” I asked. Emma smirked and I narrowed my eyes. “Did Johnny tell you?”
“Tell?” Emma scoffed. “He recorded the whole thing.”
“Really?” I addressed. They both nodded and I held back a smile. “I thought I totally mortified him.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Emma argued. I raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes. “Please, we were all at Jimmy’s and suddenly Johnny comes in screaming ‘holy shit Kid just beat the living hell out of Gayle and I got it all on camera.’ It was quite comical.”
“Yeah, it sucked that you weren’t there to see the reactions. It was pure comedy.” Jimmy gushed. I chuckled and licked my lips.
“Sorry, I had to take that three day trip and stuff and it was on short notice, so.” I joked. Emma shoved me a little and looked at me with entertainment.
“Going to jail is what you call a trip?” Emma taunted. I shrugged and grinned. “Why didn’t you call us the first night you got there? Didn’t you get your one phone call?”
“Yeah, and I was going to call Jimmy but, uh… I accidently called my dad instead.” I lied, not wanting to admit that I called Sam for no reason other than the cold truth that I missed him. Emma scoffed and rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, well, we’re glad you’re out.” Emma admitted. I kissed her shoulder and she laughed before turning her attention to the road. “The guys want to hang out and ask you a bunch of stupid questions about your time in jail.”
“Oh boy,” I droned, just thinking about all the ridiculous questions they’d throw at me once I entered the house. “So you guys mentioned reactions. How did everyone react to my little… blow up?”
“Well, I personally thought it should go to America’s Funniest Videos,” Jimmy began, a smile spread across his face. “Zach and Brian were cheering you on, saying how great and wonderful it was to watch the video. Emma just stared at it, probably thinking about never wanting to piss you off again.”
“I was not,” Emma retorted, sticking her tongue out at Jimmy. “I was surprised, honestly. I never thought you’d really stick to your word about beating her up. You always talk big, Jessi, but I never expected you to actually beat someone up. I don’t know whether to be proud or disappointed.”
“Probably both,” I offered. She raised an eyebrow and I sighed. “I mean, I’m proud of myself for finally not taking people’s shit. Like Gayle was asking for it and instead of just walking away I actually made her shut up. This is also why I’m disappointed. I should have gotten a restraining order or I should have backed down, but I let my anger get the best of me. I let her get to me and I didn’t want that to happen. So I mean fuck yeah I can say I beat someone up, but it wasn’t really worth going to jail for a few days.”
“I see your point,” Emma nodded. I sighed and watched as we drove towards home before taking a breath.
“So did Matt see the video?” I questioned. Jimmy and Emma stiffened a little and exchanged looks. They nodded and I looked curiously at Jimmy. “How did he react?”
“I, um… I don’t really know.” Jimmy confessed. I looked over at Emma, who had the same remorseful look.
“I mean, he like…” Emma stumbled, trying to find words to describe it. I tried to keep my poker face, although I was kind of upset. I would have thought Matt, out of all of them, would have been the most excited. I mean, I beat up the girl that ruined our relationship; wouldn’t he be happy about that?
“He was shocked.” Jimmy finally described, looking a bit pale. I didn’t want to think about it, but the thought crossed my mind that perhaps I was too late. Perhaps Matt fell fully for Gayle once again and was upset to see me beat the living shit out of her. If that was the case then maybe I’d just have to let go like everyone said. I guess nearly killing Gayle would be good closure, since I got out most of my anger and I would no longer feel the need to hurt her before having to let go of Matt. I pushed that thought back, not wanting to be upset on the day that I got out of jail. I let out a breath and calmed myself before smirking a little.
“So any word on Gayle’s recovery?” I chatted, trying to distract us all from the cloud of silence that loomed on us for a few minutes. Emma snorted and repositioned herself in her seat.
“Her concussion is gone, her ribs are almost fully healed and her nose is now only bruised.” Emma listed. My mouth dropped.
“Damn, she recovers quickly.” I muttered, rolling my eyes.
“You’re telling me.” Emma agreed. I sat back in my seat and watched as we began driving into the part of the city where we all lived. I was both excited and scared to see the guys, mostly because I didn’t really have anything interesting to talk about. The only thing I did in those three days was play cards with Brandon and draw the creepy eyes on the floor. The most interesting thing to happen to me was calling up Sam, which I definitely could not mention. I guess I could tell them about when the other two cops from the front room, Officer Mason and Officer Cameron, came into the back and joined Brandon and me in a game of 21. Theoretically I should have won about fifty bucks, but since I was a ‘convict’ we ended up not playing with money.
“I think we should stop at a costume store before we go there and make it look like you have a black eye and cuts on your face.” Jimmy said suddenly, an evil grin running across his face. My face went identical to his as I thought of how great the reactions would be. I looked down at my hands, which were still wrapped. The wrap was no longer white—more of an alcohol yellow—and had some blood stains from when Brandon scrubbed open some of the scabs. You could see the bruises peaking out of the bandages, which honestly I thought looked really cool. I put my hands up between Emma’s and Jimmy’s seat and bunch them into fists.
“Well my hands definitely look like I had gotten into another fight.” I advocated, looking at my hands in awe. Jimmy’s eyes widened and Emma grabbed my hand, her mouth wide open as she prodded around the bandage.
“Holy shit, is this just from the fight with Gayle?” Emma gasped. I nodded and her face twisted. “Damn, Jessi, you really let it go on her.”
“I know,” I smirked, feeling kind of proud at how beaten up my hands were. “Let’s do that though, Jimmy. We’ll make me look all beaten up and then you and Emma can drag me in and I can cough up fake blood or something.”
“That sounds like a wonderfully-horrible trick to put on our friends.” Emma pondered. She rubbed her chin for a second before the evil grin crossed her face. “Let’s do it.”
We all cheered as Jimmy turned off the interstate towards the Halloween store and away from the house with the waiting men. Jimmy was speeding nearly ten miles over the speed limit, obviously a teeny bit excited about this trick. We made it to the store in record time, and Jimmy roughly turned the car off, so eager that he almost forgot to put the car in park. Emma and I bounded after him as he ran inside, quickly running to the back where they had some makeup artists. Jimmy explained to the young woman what we were doing, not including the part where I actually went to jail. She thought the plan was brilliant and even dressed me in an orange jail suit. She cut some holes in it before sitting me down to work on my face and hair. Emma and Jimmy buzzed impatiently as the girl covered my face with blood, fake skin that looked like deep cuts, and bruise-colored makeup. Once she finished my makeup she moved to my hair, making it slightly teased so it looked like I was thrown around during my time in ‘jail’. As the finishing touch, once I stood up she put little drops of blood in the cut parts and ripped a huge hole in the side of the suit. She got out a huge gauze pad and taped it to my side before putting fake blood on it to look like I got stabbed. She taught me how to break open the blood tablet and got a picture with me before taking me to the front to pay. It was pretty expensive, but Jimmy didn’t give a single fuck. He threw the money down and kissed the girl, which left her in complete shock. He gave her his number before pulling me out of the store and shoving me into his car.
“I’m so excited I can’t even sit still.” Jimmy screamed as he pulled out of the parking lot. Emma and I nodded, smiling widely. I grabbed Emma’s phone from her and looked that the picture we had taken. I gasped at how horrendous I looked, utterly shocked at how realistic it looked. The blood had the same color and consistency of real blood and all my cuts and bruises looked like real cuts and bruises. The girl had used the palate of the bruises and cuts on my hands, and she did it perfectly. I looked like I had been in the worst jail ever. I wiped off some of the blood in the little slits of my suit, not wanting to oversell it. I mean, the stab wound and soon-to-be bloody mouth was more than enough. We made it to Jimmy’s house quicker than thought possible, and I looked at all the cars to see that everyone except Matt was there. I felt a little disappointed but pushed it away, wanting to be excited for what I was doing. Jimmy parked and turned around to look at Emma and me. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. Once we slam the doors the guys will know we’re here and they’ll be waiting. Kid, you have to act like you’re really hurt. Hold onto your ‘stab wound’ and be ready to bust open the blood cab. Emma, you and me are going to hold her by her arms and we’re going to practically drag her in because she ‘can’t walk’. Kid, once we get in and they react to your state you’re going to fall from our hands and break open your cap. We’ll go from there. Ready?”
“Yes sir!” Emma and I yelled. Jimmy nodded before opening up and getting out of the car. Emma followed him and they ran over and opened my door. Jimmy pulled me out of the car by my upper arm and I immediately made my body go limp. Emma grabbed my other arm and they began dragging me towards the door. I positioned the cap between my back teeth and kept low pressure on it, not wanting it to bust prematurely. Emma and Jimmy let out small laughs and I smiled a little before we got to the door. I slipped out a quiet ‘let’s do this’ and they both nodded. Jimmy took a breath before opening the door. I held my hands tightly against the bandage and I could feel the fake blood running onto my palms and fingers. Jimmy and Emma pulled me in quickly and I looked through my bangs at the guys. They were all lounging on the couch when we busted in, completely catching them off guard.
“What the fuck!” Zach shouted as his eyes landed on my limp body. Emma and Jimmy let me go and I fell to the floor, barely catching myself with my hands. I broke open the cap and the warm liquid filled my mouth and quickly spilled out over my lips. I heard the sound of the leather couch squeak followed by feet padding across the carpet towards where I was laying. I let myself fall against the floor, my face dropping into the puddle of blood.
“Holly shit, Kid! What happened?!” Brian screamed in horror as he pulled me up. I rested my head against him and coughed, making some of the blood spurt from my lips.
“I…” I breathed, trying to think of something to say. “I guess I don’t belong in jail.” I let out a pained laugh as I glanced over at Emma and Jimmy. They stood near the door, not attempting to go around me. Jimmy had a perfect poker face, although the corners of his lips were twitching, but Emma looked like she was about to burst out into fits of laughter. Jimmy elbowed her and she took a deep breath before composing herself.
“What the fuck?” Johnny cried, looking at me in bafflement. “How could the cops let this happen?”
“Why didn’t they take you to the hospital?” Zach said angrily. I shrugged.
“In the words of one of the cops… you’re in jail, did you really expect sympathy?” I mumbled quietly. The three men looked like they were about to cry, and I almost felt bad for doing this. “Here, Br-Brian. Can you see how bad the wound is?” I moved my hands from the bandage, ready to end the joke. Jimmy broke out in a grin and Emma had to put her face in Jimmy’s chest to keep herself from laughing. Brian sniffled and nodded, handing me to Zach. Zach caressed my face as his eyes began teary and I had to hold my breath not to laugh or quite possibly cry. Brian carefully pulled off the tape, his hands shaking. He slowly tugged the gauze away from my body to immediately freeze in confusion. A smile busted out across my face and I let out a laugh. “Just kidding.”
“…What?” Brian stuttered, not comprehending what had just happened. Emma and Jimmy burst out into laughter and helped me up, pulling me out of Zach’s tight grip. I began wiping off the blood while Emma grabbed a tissue from her purse and wiped off my bruises.
“When Jimmy picked me up he decided we should make you all shit your pants,” I explained and I wiped my hands on the pants of the suit, leaving lines of red on it. I spit out the cap and wiped my mouth. “The only bruises I really have are these.” I held up my hands, which were now stained almost completely red from the fake blood. “Which I guess I should probably change the gauze. Jimmy where do you keep the gauze?”
“Wait, you mean…” Johnny began, fading out before he could finish his thought. I walked into Jimmy’s kitchen and threw away my gauze, inspecting my hands to see if more was necessary. My left was only scraped and lightly bruised, but my right hand looked mangled and broken. I grabbed the gauze from one of the drawers and walked back to Jimmy, who started wrapping my right hand.
“You mean I didn’t get gang raped and stabbed in jail?” I gasped mockingly. The guys continued to stare in shock and I smirked. “No, I didn’t. I was the only person there as far as I could tell and all I did for the three days was play cards with the cops.”
“You befriended the cops?” Zach asked, his eyebrows raising. I nodded.
“Yeah—well, kinda. I befriended Officer Brandon. Officer Cameron and Officer Mason just played a few games of 21 with Brandon and me while Officer Johnson was out.” I clarified. The three men just stared at me, dumbfounded. I smirked and waved them off.
“That… that was a sick trick.” Brian finally acknowledged as he stood up from his spot on his floor. “I-We thought that-that you were fucking dying!”
“Is that what you guys really think jail is like?” I asked incredulously. It was silent and I sighed a little. “Okay, I’m sorry that I scared the literal shit out of you. But c’mon guys; were you really that naïve that you thought I got stabbed and beaten up in jail and the cops didn’t do anything?” The silence continued and I smirked. “Exactly. Now quit thinking about how you just got punk’d and come hug this convict.” Johnny was the first to reach my arms, pulling me tightly into a hug. “I’m sorry I ruined your Christmas shopping, J-Low.”
“Ruined?” Johnny cackled. He pulled me away from him just to pull me to kiss my cheek. “You gave me the best Christmas present ever!” I laughed and Johnny hugged me again before joining Emma next to me. Zach came up and squeezed me roughly against him.
“I would be mad at you for going to jail but I excuse you for why you had to go.” Zach whispered in my ear. I giggled and nodded, breathing in his scent as he held onto me. After a few moments he let me go and went over to Jimmy, who was standing with his head held high. He was so proud of himself for thinking up that idea. I looked back to Brian, who was slowly walking up to me. He gently reeled me in for a hug, resting his head on top of mine. He kissed my forehead and I melted into him, missing the touch of a man. After I had talked to Sam I felt lonelier than ever, and there was no one I could confide in except maybe Jimmy. I missed the feeling of waking up next to someone I loved and I realized how much I truly appreciated Brian being a good replacement for the love I needed. Although he didn’t—or maybe he did—have feelings for me, he was always there to hug me when needed, kiss me when wanted, push me when necessary. I needed support more than probably healthy, and being as lonely as I was made me realize what I needed to do.
“Don’t scare me like that again.” Brian mumbled against my head, his warm breath running down my scalp. I nodded and he pulled away to kiss my nose. He stepped away from me before turning to Jimmy with a wicked look on his face. “Now, James, we need to pay you back for concocting that horrible plan.” Emma and I stepped away and watched as Johnny, Zach and Brian all circled around Jimmy, who looked fearful, although he trumped them all in height. I nudged Emma and motioned for us to go to the kitchen to leave the men alone. She followed after me and I pulled us out some drinks.
“What do you think they’re going to do to him?” Emma wondered. I shrugged and gave her the soda before pushing myself onto the counters. Emma mimicked me and it was silent into the house before Jimmy’s screams filled the air. Emma and I jumped a little, but didn’t get down from the counter to see what was happening. We heard them all screaming at each other yet chose to ignore them as we took out our phones. I looked at my messages and frowned. I sighed sadly and put my phone down. Emma placed her hand on mine and I looked at her. “He hasn’t texted yet, has he?”
“No.” I drawled. Emma frowned a little and I sighed. “I just, I don’t know what to do, Emma. I want to be with him, but…”
“But you’re sick of waiting.” Emma finished. I nodded and blinked back tears.
“I mean, I thought we had something,” I choked, my throat tensing as my body began to ready itself for water working. “He said we did. But I mean I got out of jail and he’s not even here. He was upset when he saw me beat up his g-… he said he hated her.”
“I don’t know what to say, Jess.” Emma admitted. “I mean, I want you guys to be together but I mean… From the looks of it, it seems like…”
“Like he doesn’t…” I concluded. Emma nodded and I swallowed. “I know, I do. I thought about it and… I think I might have to start letting go. And the worse part… I think I’d be able to.”
“What do you mean?” Emma faltered. I let out a breath and listened for a second as the men apparently sat on top of Jimmy’s stomach.
“I mean, I beat up his—I beat up Gayle. The girl that ruined everything. I let go of my anger and resentment towards her when I attacked her. All there is left is letting go of the feeling of abandonment.” I huffed a little before letting out a deep sigh. “Although I feel bad thinking about it…”
“Why?” Emma looked at me, her green eyes sad and curious. I grabbed a piece of her brown hair, curling it around my finger.
“Because he bought me and him tickets to go to New York together for Christmas.” I confided. Her mouth dropped and I smiled a little. “I know. He gave them to me at the Christmas party. I guess he didn’t want to do it in front of all of you.”
“Why would he—”
“He said they were proof that Gayle would be gone by my birthday and then we could start our relationship together.” I mumbled, melancholy taking over me. Emma gave me a sympathetic look and I sighed. “Maybe I just need to take a vacation, get away from the stress for a little bit.”
“Maybe.” Emma pondered. The noises in the other room stopped and we jumped off the counter to reenter the room. I grabbed my phone, looking one more time to see that there was a text message from Matt. I let Emma walk ahead of me a little bit and I stopped to read it.
Heard you got out today. You should come over.-M
I rolled my eyes and began putting my phone away, feeling a little fed up. If Matt wanted to see me he could see me with everyone else, not make me lie to get out of the house to see him. Before I took another step my phone buzzed again and I took it out.
Gayle is gone. I want to celebrate.-M
My heart fluttered as I read the text. It finally happened. She’s finally gone. I wanted to just run out of the house and sprint to Matt’s house, but I knew I couldn’t. People would be curious as to why I had to leave, but maybe if I told them without really telling them they would understand.
“Hey Kid, what’re you doing?” Zach asked as I walked into the room. I felt kind of like a zombie, walking slowly as I tried to think out my options. I let out a deep breath and looked at them.
“Uh… Matt texted me,” I stuttered, trying to keep composure. Everyone’s eyebrows shot up and I looked down at my phone. “He said that Gayle was gone and he wants me to come over.”
“Why doesn’t he come over here? We can all celebrate.” Brian asked. I shrugged and let my arms limply fall to my side.
“I don’t know. I just want to go see if he’s lying.” I stated blandly. Everyone shared a nervous glance before looking back at me.
“And what if he is?” Jimmy wondered curiously. I shrugged again.
“Leave and get over him.” I replied. Everyone looked unconvinced, but they all stepped aside so I could leave. I attempted to smile at them, but I could feel that my lips were quivering. They all gave me hopeful and I began walk to the door when I stopped. “I don’t have my car. Can someone bring me to the apartment so I can get it?”
“I’ll take you.” Emma offered. I smiled a little, knowing that Emma would probably say little to me about going to Matt’s since I literally just talked to her about my predicament. I waved to the guys and followed Emma as she walked towards her car. We slid into her SUV and sat silently as the music played. I stared out the window, trying not to think about what I was about to do. I was starting to have second-thoughts about doing this, feeling ill at the thought of finding out Matt lied. But why would he lie? Maybe I will walk in and all traces of Gayle will be gone except for a puddle of tears. Maybe this will be a happy ending.
“I’m scared.” I gulped as Emma pulled into our apartment building. Emma squeezed my hand before parking next to my car. She pulled me into a hug, which surprised me. Emma wasn’t the hugging type, nor was she the type to comfort the nervous. She usually told me to ‘suck it up’, but today she didn’t.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” She whispered quietly in my ear. I nodded and hugged her tighter before letting go. I jumped out of her car and slid into mine, my hands already beginning to shake. I was about to start my car when my phone went off, informing me that Brian was calling. I looked at my phone in curiosity before answering.
“Hello?” I asked, feeling that I didn’t have to greet him.
“Have you left your apartment yet?” He questioned urgently. My eyebrows knitted together.
“No, not yet. Why?”
“Don’t leave. I’m coming to pick you up. You’re not going to Matt’s.” Brian commanded. I scoffed.
“And why can’t I just drive myself back?” I challenged, feeling a bit flustered at Brian’s attempts to control me.
“Because I don’t trust you.” He stated bluntly.
“Wow. Thanks dude.” I snapped. He sighed and I could just picture him pinching his nose.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I don’t think you should go over there. For your own safety I’m asking you not to go.” Brian reiterated. I rolled my eyes.
“How is this going against my safety? If Gayle’s gone then we can all celebrate.”
“And if she’s not?” Brian persisted.
“And if she’s not then I’ll get over him.” I retorted. Brian scoffed and laughed a little.
“You won’t get over him. You’ll mope around and wait for him to become single again.” Brian snapped bitterly. I stared at my phone in shock.
“Why don’t you just tell what you really think?” I confronted. It went silent for a second.
“Fine. Here’s the truth. I’m sorry Kid, but you need to just give up. Matt is a fucking lost cause. He’s totally and completely whipped and you hanging around is just making him think he can keep Gayle until he doesn’t want her and then you’ll still be there. It’s time to let him go.”
“That’s your best friend, Brian. Aren’t you being a tad douche-y right now?” I questioned, growing irritated. I didn’t disagree with Brian; I knew Matt was pretty much a lost cause. But the fact that Brian was being completely rude to me and indirectly to Matt made me really angry. “And what gives you the right to call me up and tell me that I can’t go see Matt? I can make whatever choices I want.”
“You’re being a fucking idiot, Kid. Really.” Brian asserted. My mouth dropped. “I know Matt’s my best friend and I know you’re my best friend too. But sometimes you two are quite possibly the stupidest people I have ever met, and I’ve met myself. You make the most idiotic decisions and you let your emotions get in the way of everything and you guys can’t just fucking let go. Well I can’t take it. I love you, Kid, I really do, but I’m sick and tired of being your pillow to cry on.”
“Holy shit, Gates, calm the fuck down.” I heard Jimmy snap from the other line. I blinked back the red tint in my eyesight and let out a deep breath.
“Well thanks for your input. I’m so glad to have a friend like you. Fuck off.” I hung up in a fit of rage and slammed my phone down, resisting the urge to pull my hair out. Brian was way out of line and although I knew he’d probably call me later and apologize but right now I’ve had it. I turned on my car and threw in my Yellowcard CD, singing loudly to a few songs before I had almost completely calmed down. I took a deep breath and turned up the music before finally pulling out of my apartment with the destination of Matt’s house.
I didn’t even notice I had arrived there until I was in Matt’s driveway. I stared at his house in fear for a few minutes before forcing myself to turn down the music and shut off my car. I stepped out and it felt like I was going to fall to my knees. I took a deep breath and composed myself, pushing all feelings away. I didn’t think about anything, I didn’t look at anything; I just walked up to his front door and let myself in. I glanced around his living room, flashes of the party we had a couple weeks ago goes through my mind. I smiled a bit, calming down at the nice memories. I turned up to his stairs, quietly stepping up one at a time. I heard a rustle from upstairs but I continued my trek without wavering. As I edged the top of the steps, I heard what could only be described as something hitting the wall and I knew right then. This was over. I smiled a little, feeling completely empty as I continued walking towards Matt’s room. I knew it was over, but I wasn’t going to stop until I saw him. I paused outside his bedroom, the door cracked. Heavy breathing reaching my ears and my smile rose a little. I pushed open the door and looked at the sight in front of me. Gayle really did look a lot better from the damage I had done to her, and man was she good-looking when she was naked. Her brown eyes met mine, and a triumphant grin hit her face. I cocked my head a little and she glanced to Matt’s phone, which was sitting on the bedside table.
“Gayle, what are you…” Matt breathed, sitting up to look towards the door. Hazel met blue and Matt’s mouth dropped. I smiled and nodded at Gayle, ending our war. She won. I took one last look at Matt, who was sitting completely dumbfounded. His eyes were bulging and were screaming I’m sorry, his mouth down to the bed. I gave him a small smile before turning around and walking out of his house. “Kid!” I kept the smile on my face as I walked down the stairs, taking in the last moments in the Shadows Manor. Break-up sex? I smirked at the thought before walking out, breathing in the fresh air. The air I knew I’d be missing very soon. I slid into my sleek black car, my eyes washing over Matt’s house once more. He was standing at the window, watching with terror in his eyes as I backed out of his driveway and sped down the street. I picked up my phone and was about to call up my mom when she beat me to it.
“Hi mom.” I greeted, my voice flat.
“Hey Jess. What are you up to?” Mom asked, sounding a little bored. She was probably hanging out at home and had nothing to do. Perfect for me.
“Nothing. Just missing you and the family.” I said, although that wasn’t quite true.
“That’s actually great that you said that because, well,” Mom cleared her throat. I smiled, knowing what she would say and my response. “I was wondering if you wanted to come visit for a bit. Not long, but I miss you and I need to talk to you about my wedding. I’d love to have you be a part of it.”
“Sure, mom. I’d love to come up. Actually, I was just going to call and say I wanted to move back to South Dakota for a little bit.” I told her. She gasped and I smirked as I drove past Jimmy’s house.
“That’s great sweetie!” Mom screamed excitedly. I smiled as I got closer to my apartment, which would seen only hold one person. “But why? I thought you loved California?”
“I do. I just… need to get away for a while.” I admitted, a numb feeling running through my veins.
“Aw, what happened?” My mom persisted. I just smiled as my eyesight dimmed a bit.
“I guess I just realized that sometimes our saints are sinners. I’ll call you when I land in South Dakota.”

Notes

Well, it’s over. Eighty chapters of squealing and heart-break. Many hours of struggling to put ideas down on paper, many more hours erasing those ideas and starting over. Thank you guys for staying with me through this, it means a lot. I’m really proud I could finish a story this long, especially one that was actually kind of popular. As stated before, there will be a sequel, but the name is withheld (kind of). Hopefully it won’t be too long before I get it up, but I have so many ideas for other stories and I want to end And In You I Confide. Keep your eyes peeled for the sequel, because I’m really excited to see how you guys will react to the next book of drama. I hope you guys enjoyed this story and once again, thank you for sticking around. Hope you like cliffhangers ;D ~Jessi