I drove home nervously, slightly speeding as I was trying to secretly race Matt. Last night Matt was supposed to call me after he told Gayle she had to go, but he never did. That made me extremely worried and I nearly had a panic attack. Brian ended up calling me around seven and asked if I wanted to sleep over and I couldn’t help myself. Brian was very flexible on letting me sleep at my house when I wanted to, but deep down I know that Brian was lonely and needed some snuggles. I felt kind of dirty for sleeping with Brian after I had sex with Matt and made plans to be together—especially since I’m supposed to be ‘breaking it off’ with Brian—but old habits die hard and Brian is an amazing cuddler as well as an amazing soother.
I pulled into the parking lot and jumped out of my car, nearly falling as I did so. I bolted up the stairs and ran into my house, trying to make it seem like I was here all night. I threw a pot of water on the stove to make myself lunch and I cracked open a Pepsi, which I downed half of. I ran into my bedroom and flopped myself onto the nicely made bed, messing it up so it looked slept in. I quickly wiped off the eye make-up I put on, since I felt compelled to not let Brian see my shit face, and fluffed up my hair a bit. I changed into cloth shorts just for my own comfort and a tank top. I began to flop myself onto the couch when the door jiggled. I stared in horror and watched as Emma walked in with Johnny.
“Shit-no!” I squeaked as I shoved myself off the couch in a rush of pure adrenaline. They stared at me with wide eyes, looking at me like I was on drugs.
“Okay, dude, where did you find the weed?” Emma asked in a serious voice. I rolled my eyes and went over to Johnny, shoving his jacket back on as he tried to take it off.
“Jeez, you must be fucking baked.” Johnny muttered. I glared at him before swatting at them.
“I’m not high, you assholes.” I snapped as I scurried to my kitchen, feeling extremely jittery. I was horrified for what was going to happen today, especially if I can’t get Emma and Johnny out of the house before Matt got there. “I just need you guys to leave.”
“What, why?” Johnny asked in bafflement. I gave him a look before returning to my Ramen Noodle making.
“Yeah, we just got back.” Emma protested. I threw her a look too, but she threw it right back. “I thought you didn’t like being alone.”
“I don’t. But I’m not going to be alone.” I informed them. They shared a look between each other before looking back at me with curious eyes.
“Is Brian coming over?” Emma guessed. I shook my head furiously as I buzzed around the kitchen, opening random cupboards for no reason what-so-ever.
“Nope.” I said, popping the ‘p’. “Matt.”
“What?” Johnny’s jaw dropped. I nodded and their eyes grew.
“He’s coming over to talk about getting rid of Gayle or whatever.” I explained quickly, pouring my Ramen into a big bowl. They continued to stare at me in confusion, which just made me more worried.
“So does that mean you’re going to break up with Brian?” Johnny wondered. I bit my lip and shrugged, not meeting his gaze.
“Unsure. Depends on if Matt is going to break it off with Gayle.” I would have said if he did break it off with Gayle, but I didn’t want them to know that I had Matt over yesterday, since they would know what happened. I opened the fridge and grabbed out a beer and Pepsi before walking over to Johnny and Emma. I shoved the cans in their hands before walking behind them and pushing them towards the door. “So you guys get out of the house and I’ll text you when you can come back.”
“This is my house too.” Emma snapped.
“I don’t fucking care.” I retorted as I threw them into the hallway, shutting and locking the door behind me. I leaned against the door for a little bit to catch my breath, feeling relieved that I got Emma and Johnny out of the house. Now all I had to do was wait patiently for Matt to come over and tell me what went down.
After about thirty minutes of just sitting on my couch bouncing in place I decided to distract myself. I turned on the DVD player and threw in Friends With Benefits, one of my favorite movies. I had finished my Ramen but I was still hungry, so I popped up some popcorn and grabbed out another Pepsi. I snuggled myself down into the couch and started the movie, the thoughts of Matt slowly drifting from my mind, along with my consciousness. Sleep was my best friend at this point, and if Matt came around he’d have to pound the door hard enough to wake me up.
Just as I begun falling into unconsciousness, there was a knock at the door. I internally groaned before walking to the door and unlocking it, not even bothering to see who it was. I opened the door and Matt was outside, giving me a small smile. I suddenly felt self-conscious about myself since I had gone into my ‘lazy day’ routine. I blushed and looked down, feeling gross and embarrassed beyond compare.
“Hi.” Matt whispered. I looked up again to see Matt stepping in, his smile still small and his eyes bright. I smiled at him a little and he leaned down to kiss me gently. It had been a while since he had kissed me, so the shock was almost brand new and for a moment my mind went back to my fangirl thoughts.
“M. freaking Shadows just kissed me,” the words came out before I had a chance to stop them and I felt like an idiot. Matt giggled at my slip and smiled widely, protruding his dimples to the point where they should be illegal. God, he was so freaking beautiful.
“Are you okay, Love?” Matt asked softly, putting a hand on my forehead. “Did you fall again? Do I need to fix your knees?”
“I sure as hell did fall,” I spoke softly. He cocked his head to the side, catching on to the truth behind my words.
“I’m sorry about that,” Matt mumbled as he caressed my face with his thumb.
“Don’t apologize.” I shook my head a little, unable to pull my gaze away from his mesmerizing eyes. “I’d fall for you all over again any day you wanted.”
“How about every day?” Matt persisted, a small smirk crossing his face.
“I better get some knee pads.” I addressed quietly. He let out a silent laugh before leaning in and kissing me once more. All of my worries flew from my body in seconds, and now I just wanted him. Matt pulled me into a tight hug and we just stood there like that for what felt like hours. After finally pulling away I motioned for him to sit down on the couch where I had been snuggled up earlier. As he sat down I went to my kitchen and grabbed us both out a beer, even though my Pepsi was still full.
We sat silently and watched the movie cuddled up next to each other, but it didn’t feel right. I could sense that Matt was tense, which made me assume the worst. He hadn’t said a word about yesterday yet, and that worried me. I continued to tell myself that he didn’t call yesterday because Gayle made a big scene, but that was just hopes and dreams. The more I tried to talk myself into believing it all went right, the more I knew it went wrong. Soon enough I couldn’t take it anymore.
“She didn’t leave, did she?” I announced, not taking my eyes off the screen. I felt Matt’s head shift to my direction and from my peripheral vision I watched his mouth drop. “Gayle, I mean.”
“I, uh…” Matt stuttered, his voice going pale and red at the same time. You think the two shades would cross each other out, but it just made him look sick. It even looked like he had a tint of green to him.
“Matt, please just tell me. I’m dying.” I whimpered, my voice weak. I wanted Matt, I’ve waited so long for him and now he was keeping vital information from me. I was going to implode. Matt’s gaze left me and wandered around the room, his head lowering a bit as he did so.
“Kid, I… I’m so sorry.” Matt apologized. That’s when I knew. I knew she wouldn’t leave. Or if not that she wouldn’t, that he didn’t let her. I felt like crawling into a hole that very second. I felt tears pricking my eyes, but I pushed them back. I didn’t want to cry in front of Matt, even though I had every right to.
“What happened?” I asked, my voice cracking. Hurt crossed Matt’s face and he pulled me close to my chest. I tried not to look at him but he grabbed my chin and looked straight into my eyes.
“I tried, Kid. I really did. She went back on our deal,” Matt croaked, his throat tight. I stared sadly at him and he chewed on his lip ring. “She told me if I could get you to do anything to be with me, she’d leave.”
“What made her change her mind?” I questioned quietly. Matt’s face turned to one of pure horror, and it scared me. There could be multiple things that Gayle could have said to Matt, but there was one that I was begging for it not to be.
“She… she told me she fell for me again.” That was the one thing. I couldn’t help but let one tear slip as I pulled away from him, not having the strength to look him in the eyes.
“So we can’t be together after all.” I sighed loudly, looking at the wall across from me. I could feel Matt’s stare burning into me, but I didn’t care at the moment. This was it, I spent so much time trying to get Matt and I ended up getting fucked. I wanted to be with Matt and Matt only, but because of my first California friend that won’t happen. What backstabbers.
“Yes we can Kid.” Matt argued, pulling on my shoulder. Confusion swept over me for a few seconds as I continued to stare at the wall. “We can make this work.” It took me a moment to catch on to what he was saying, and when I did, I slowly turned my head to look at him.
“No. We can’t do that.” I protested. I shook my head and he sighed before grabbing my hand. I scoffed and looked away from him, slightly irritated that he would even consider that. Matt slid in front of me and held my hands tightly in his.
“Kid, listen to me, please. Just hear me out.” Matt begged. His lip quivered a little bit and I melted. I nodded a little and he let out a breath. “I don’t want to be with Gayle, Kid. At all. I want to be with you. I want to hold you and be there for you and take care of you like I should have. I’m a fucking asshole and I know that, trust me.”
“Then why don’t you leave her?” I insisted, sadness running over me. I wanted Matt so dearly, and it made me somewhat happy to know that he acknowledged his douchbaggery. Matt sighed and ran a hand through his shaggy hair.
“Because she threatened to hurt you and the others.” Matt mumbled, looking down. I stared in perplexity and he let out a deep breath. “I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I let her hurt you.”
“Dude… you’re like three times bigger than her!” I shrieked, completely and utterly confused. Matt looked up at me, his eyebrows high.
“Yeah, her dad was too, but that didn’t stop her from burning down her friggin house!” Matt exclaimed. Now that I didn’t know about. I let out a loud groan and threw my head back.
“Matt, what the fuck are we supposed to do?” I moaned, returning my head back to normal so I could look at him. My eyes were sad and I stared at him.
“Be together. Like we should have been if I wasn’t such a fucking idiot.” Matt offered. I shook my head.
“I can’t do that.” I objected.
“Why not?” Matt persisted. My mouth dropped and my eyebrows rose.
“Because I will not be the other woman.” I snapped. Matt licked his lips and sighed.
“You wouldn’t be the other woman, Kid.” Matt informed me. I gave him a look and he squeezed my hands. “If anything, Gayle would be the other woman.”
“No, I would. Because we wouldn’t be actually dating.” I asserted.
“Baby, please.” Matt begged. I began to shake my head when he slid his hands on my face. “Kid, please just let us try. I want, no, need to be with you. I was such an idiot for doing what I did to you. It’s just; I’ve never felt this way before. Sure, Gayle gave me some feelings, but nothing like this. The minute I saw you in the crowd I just knew that I wanted you. I was so lucky that I had a chance to talk to you; otherwise I would have probably never been able to meet you and fall for you like I have. Please Kid, just please, give us one chance.”
“So you want us to be in a secret relationship?” I summarized, a frown forming on my face. I wasn’t one for cheating, especially since Matt would be cheating on Gayle with me. Even though I hate Gayle with a fire-y passion, I still felt a pang of guilt. But I wanted to be with Matt so bad. Matt nodded and I sighed. “What about Brian? He’s going to want to know what happened between us and we both know that if any of them found out that we were sneaking around, they’d shame us.”
“Just… Just stay with Brian, then.” Matt sighed in defeat. I looked at him in shock and he stared sullenly back at me. “I mean, he was a better boyfriend than I ever was, and you guys weren’t even really together. Just keep the act up so we don’t make it suspicious.” I nodded and Matt rubbed my face. “Just one thing.”
“Anything.” I whispered. Matt let out a small breath.
“Can you and Bri slow down on the benefits part?” Matt whimpered, pouting a little. I smiled and his lip protruded more. “I want you all to myself.”
“I’ll try, Love. I promise.” I agreed, nodding a little. He smiled widely and rubbed my face. “So does that mean we’re together?”
“Yes, Kid. We are finally, unofficially, together.” Matt announced. I grinned and pulled Matt into a gentle kiss, the first kiss for us to have as an unofficial couple. I had a small pang of worry in my stomach, but it dissipated quickly as Matt scooped me up into his arms and brought me into the spare bedroom, not breaking our kiss.

Notes

Hey guys, I want to do a poll. Are you for Shadow Kid or Synyster Kid? Tell me below because I want to hear your opinions. Don't worry to those who think I don't need opinions to write my story (*cough*cough* Miss J.S), because this isn't going to affect this book. Yes, this is the announcement that there willbe a sequel! Next chapter I will have a poll for what I should name it, so look for that! Hope you enjoy ;) ~Jessi