Daenerys’ suicide note, written May 17, 2012 (seven months before she and Erin went to California), in her notebook:

Dear World,

If someone is reading this, then I am probably long gone. My heart has stopped, my brain no longer functions, and I am six-feet under. For the first time in my life, I have done the right thing – instead of making a mistake, I have solved the problem for everyone. I’ll finally have succeeded. This isn’t my first time, or my second – it may not even be my last. I remember how scared I was the first time, but now, it doesn’t even scare me one bit.

If you’re wondering why I did this, well, there are many reasons. And one is that I am nothing but a mistake. That’s all I hear anymore – but why should I be the one who’s punished? It’s not my fault that I’m a mistake. So why do I do this to myself?

Because I’ve given up. There is no reason to live when there is no one left who loves you. There is no reason to live when there’s no one left to trust.

I fell in love once. It was wrong; he was so much older than me, but he was all I had. Maybe it wasn’t even love – I was only thirteen; how am I to know what love is? But he told me he loved me; he promised me he would never leave me.

He lied to me.

I know it wasn’t entirely his fault. But he promised me when he knew he would be breaking that promise. When he died, he left me lost, broken and shattered – more than I’ve ever been.

James Owen Sullivan broke my fucking heart.

I don’t think anyone would believe me if I told them, which is just another reason of many as to why I haven’t said anything. And it’s not like I have any evidence, other than my own word; and honestly, who’s going to believe me?

I’ve been fighting for so long; I’m tired and I can’t go on anymore. You can say I’ve given up all you want, but everyone has their limits, and all I’ve done is push mine until I couldn’t feel anymore. Drugs only provide a temporary feeling of happiness; I don’t even know why I continue to smoke so much when all it does is make the pain ten times worse.

But hopefully, after today, I won’t feel again, which is all I’ve ever wanted. Not even love can save me – I’ve already learned the hard way that such a thing doesn’t exist for someone like me.

So world – Mom, Dad, Erin – I hope you’re happy that I’ve finally done the right thing.

~

DAENERYS –

It’s like I’m sleeping, but I can’t wake up. I can hear voices, but they don’t form words. I want to wake up – I do – but I also want to sleep; I can’t do both, and I don’t know which one I want more.

I can feel some things. I can feel someone’s hand in mine. Calloused fingers stroke the back it gently. For some reason, I’m afraid it’s Brian’s, but there’s nothing I can do about it.

Slow and steady beeps echo around my head, but I know deep down that the last thing I wanted was for them to stop. What happened to me? What is this new motivation to live all of a sudden? Why do I find the need to fight?

Being trapped in this void of darkness, for god-knows how long, has made me question why I even wanted to die in the first place. Things were shit and I had no one, sure. But was I really willing to give up completely – was I ready?

I still want to die, that much is obvious. But not yet. I don’t know what it is that finally clicked in my mind – that I simply wasn’t trying hard enough. As soon as the life left his lungs, so did the life leave my heart. I gave up long ago, but I had a chance to fix this.

I have a chance to fix this.

But I can’t do it on my own. And I don’t know who I have left. Can I learn to trust again?

Yes. Yes, I can. I can because I am capable of feeling. I am capable of living. I have more time than I ever thought I did before. I have been given a second chance.

All I need to do is wake up.

Notes

A/N: THAT'S IT! THAT'S THE END...

Of this story >:)

THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL

But probably not until I've finished posting this story on Mibba... We'll see. I've only written five chapters of the sequel so far, after all.

I just would like to say THANK YOU SO MUCH. I never expected to get so much positive feedback on this story, really - it all means so much to me. All of you who voted, commented, subscribed, or even just read THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

I will post an author's note on this story as soon as the sequel is up. Have a wonderful day guys, and thanks again =)

~WOLFY~