*Carry On*

**Kaylyn's POV**

I can't believe Brian had the nerve to snoop through my email inbox, so I can't help myself from blowing up in anger over the invasion of my privacy. Ugh, it's not that I have anything to hide, it's the fact that I think he did it just because I have been giving him the cold shoulder lately. I'm just trying not to force him into anything he's uncomfortable with.

I haven't written Alex back out of fear that it would hurt Brian, and confuse my emotions even more than they already are. I wanted to believe deep down that Brian has feeling for me that go beyond a friendship, so imagine my surprise when he confesses it in a fit of rage.

My jaw drops in shock and I briefly think that I am dreaming, because honestly...I didn't think he would admit his feelings.

I know that I need to tell him about my past with Alex, so I step forward and sigh. "Brian... I think it's time I fess up.." I say and he scoffs loudly.

"So this was all some kind of game for you? Should I expect to see my personal pain and anguish in next week's headlines?! Ha... or maybe you just want to fuck and use me like Aubrey did!" he seethes and I can't control myself from smacking him across the face. How dare he compare me to her?!?

"How dare you compare me to that bitch?!?" I scream and he rubs his cheek and glares at me.

"Well if the shoe fucking fits..." Brian grumbles before attempting to get up and walk away. Oh no he doesn't!

I shove him back down and straddle his waist...I know he could toss me like a ragdoll if he wanted to but let's hope he hears me out first. "Brian look...you're right-" I start but he cuts me off with a sarcastic laugh.

"I fucking should have known better! You're just like every other girl I opened my heart to...you make me fall for you then admit that it was all some part of a master plan that ends with me getting royally FUCKED!" he rages and tries to lift me off his lap but I clamp my thighs down on his hips.

I grab his face and force him to look at me, although his eyes refuse to meet mine. "I don't mean you're right about my motivations...I mean you're right that I was avoiding talking about Alex..." I admit and he releases a ragged breath.

"Is that because you guys are back together? Is that why you have been treating me like I don't exist for the last couple of days??" he questions but is still staring at the wall behind me.

"No!" I state and he finally meets my eyes. "I have been talking to my assistant, who is a girl by the way, about things." I whisper and rub his cheek with my thumb.

He shakes his head, "What? Asking her advice on which one of us she thinks you should go for??" he scoffs and I can't help but let a small giggle escape my lips.

Brian arches an eyebrow at me, "No, I've been telling her about how nervous I am about going on tour with you guys...and let me tell you something, if I did ask her which one I should chose, she would tell me to pick you in a heartbeat. Although...I would chose you even if she didn't." I say and watch a small smirk start to form on his lips.

"Why? I need the truth...what did he do that makes this-" he says while motioning between us, "an absolute, for you"

I take a deep breath...God, I've been dreading digging up these memories because they cost me more than my failed relationship and dignity.

"I met Alex when his dad, Stellan, hired me as his PR rep to boost his career in the US. You see, Alex was already famous over in Sweden but was pretty much unknown stateside, so his dad thought I could help change that. Anyhow, I was bewitched by his dazzling charm and stupidly fell hard and fast, in love with him. We accidentally wound up getting pregnant-" I choke out before my voice cracks.

Brian stirs uncomfortably underneath me, "You have a kid with him?" he asks brokenheartedly and I shake my head and continue.

"Well, at first Alex was thrilled at the idea that we would get married and have a family, so he proposed...but then he met Kate. She co-started with him in a movie and they began to have an affair behind my back. Eventually, he broke off our engagement and proposed to Kate-"

"That fucking asshole" Brian mutters out under his breath and I relieved that his anger has shifted off of me. "He didn't give two shits that you were pregnant with his kid?" he questions and I shake me head no. His eyebrows furrow together and he opens his mouth to ask what I already know is on his mind...what happened to the baby?

"I had a miscarriage" I whisper and feel the same stabbing pain to my heart that I did when it happened. "I-I guess I was to blame for it though. I stopped taking care of myself and-" I sob out but Brian presses his lips to mine to silence me.

"I'm so sorry" he mumbles out which only makes me sob harder.

I sniffle back the tears and stare into his dark brown eyes, "You know Alex didn't even say that to me when I told him...I guess he was relieved that he didn't have to bring a 'mistake' with him to his upcoming marriage...which never happened by the way. I have the small satisfaction knowing that Kate cheated on him with one of the directors on her new movie and she married him instead." I say with amusement in my voice.

Brian's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "Ha, karma is a fucking bitch...I hope that happens to Aubrey too" he says with a smile.

God, I hope so too! I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself closer to his chest. Damn he looks amazing all dressed up! "Brian?" I say to get his attention which is currently focused on my cleavage.

"Hmm" he mumbles and finally makes eye contact with me again.

"I'm sorry that I treated you coldly the last few days. I was just trying to give you space because I was afraid that if I smothered you, that you would bolt. I-I was emotionally and physically empty for months after I lost the baby and I hope this doesn't freak you out, but something sparked inside of me again when I met you." I state and he swallows harshly "We were two people who were promise a family and forever but were left shattered and broken instead. I will help you pick up the pieces if you will help me and I know I don't really know you as well as I should before telling you this, but I'm honestly terrified of losing you..

...I love you"

Notes

So that's Kaylyn's backstory...

Will Brian understand that their pain is similar and accept her love?
Or
Will Brian turn into Synyster Gates on tour because Kaylyn said the dreaded 'L' word!?!?