Michelle
I have never been this nervous before. I wasn’t this nervous when Brian and I started trying to get me pregnant, I wasn’t this nervous when we started going to see Doctor Ferguson for testing, none of that made me even half as nervous as I was today.

“Hey,” Brian whispered, coming into the kitchen and wrapping his arms around my waist before pressing a kiss against my pulse point “Try not to be too worried about today, alright?”

“Brian,” I sighed, turning to face him, his arms still around me.

“It’s been two months since we found out about our… problems, and now we’ve made this decision and I’m totally up for it, this is what I want to do, but really, what if she thinks we’re crazy? What if she rejects us and then everything is weird for the rest of… forever?”

“If she doesn’t want to do this for us, she doesn’t have to, sure, it’s a lot to ask of someone and this probably wasn’t what she had in mind when she told us she would do anything we needed her to do, but I know her well enough to know that she would at least consider this for us, and if she says ‘no’ then we go through an agency and we find someone who does this for a living,”

We had decided to go down the surrogate route. I wanted a baby of my own enough to be able to watch someone else carry it for me, and the fact that we were about to ask someone so close to us would make it easier – if she says ‘yes’ – for everyone involved, because we’ll be with her the whole time.

Asking someone, especially a family member, to carry your child for you really does sound a bit strange at first, but if everyone is comfortable enough then everything should be smooth sailing after the initial… insemination.
~~~~
We were having lunch with Hannah at her favourite café in town, we’d asked her to choose where to meet up. When Brian spoke to her on the phone he said that she sounded a little confused by this whole thing, saying that he sounded suspicious about something and asking him what was going on or what he had done and who he was in trouble with now, but we just laughed it off.

When we pulled up outside the café, Hannah’s car was parked right outside, so she was already waiting for us inside, and if I thought I had been nervous before I was sorely mistaken now. I pressed my hand to my stomach and looked at Brian with fear in my eyes.

“I think my stomach just fell out of my ass,” I groaned.

“Come on,” He smiled brightly at me, sliding out of the car “Everything’s going to be fine,”
I slid out of the car from the passenger side and linked my hand with his, squeezing so tightly that I could have broken his fingers, but he didn’t complain.

We walked inside and spotted Hannah up the back in the corner, dressed in the cutest outfit and scrolling through something on her iPad.

“Hannah!” Brian called out to get her attention as we walked towards her and her head snapped up at the sound of his voice before she broke out into a huge smile.

She closed the case over on her iPad and stood to greet us both with warm hugs.

“I just ordered you guys your usual two minutes ago,” She told us as she sat back down and we took our seats across the table from her.

“Great,” I smiled at her, trying not to look nervous, but it obviously didn’t work.

“Can you guys tell me what this is about now?” She asked, removing her glasses from her face
“You really freaked me out on the phone last night, and Michelle looks like her stomach fell out of her ass on the way over here,”

Brian and I both laughed at her comment, but her frown didn’t falter.

Just before either of us could speak, the waiter brought over what Hannah ordered for the three of us and interrupted. We thanked him and waited until he was out of earshot before we spoke.

“You remember a couple of months ago, we found out that we were extremely unlikely to ever conceive on our own?” Brian started and Hannah nodded while bringing her large mug up to her lips and taking a drink before liking the foam off of her lips.

“We’ve spent the last two months talking over our two options,” I spoke “Surrogacy or adoption and we’ve been looking into it all as much as we can,”

“You guys decided what to do!” She exclaimed with a smile.

“Yeah,” Brian chuckled, sounding nervous now, too.

“We decided to go with surrogacy,” I smiled at her and she let out a squeal of excitement and moved as though she was going to leap across the table and hug us, but she stopped herself when I spoke again “We want a baby that is genetically ours enough to be able to handle another woman carrying it for us,”

“So how are you guys going about this?” She asked, leaning on the table on her elbows “Are you asking someone we know or going through an agency?”

“We wanted to ask someone we know,” Brian told her “We figured it would be even better if it was someone we’re close with and not a complete stranger, plus, we’d be around for absolutely everything during the pregnancy,”

“Well, I promised you guys I would be supportive, and you asked me here today, so what do you need me to do?” She asked.

Brian and I looked at one another for a moment, as though we were trying to speak to one another mentally and decide which one of us was going to say it. Brian suddenly looked away from me and to his little sister, a smile on his face and suddenly it was like Hannah knew what
he was about to say. Her hands dropped to her lap and she leaned back with wide eyes.

“Bri-“

“Hannah,” He cut her off “We were wondering, because it would be totally great and we would love it so, so much, if you would be our surrogate,”
~~~~
Hannah
Silence consumed our table after the words were out of Brian’s mouth. They both watched me like a ticking time bomb ready to explode as they waited for me to say something, but I didn’t know what to say.

What do you say when your older brother and your sister-in-law ask you if they can rent out your uterus and have you grow their baby for them for nine months? I love them both to death and I would do anything for them, I’ve always said that, but I never imagined they would ask me to do this.

“I figured-“ I cleared my throat “I figured you guys were going to ask me to help with asking someone, like Val!” I exclaimed, gesturing to Michelle “Or come and meet the woman if you went with the whole agency thing,”

“You don’t have to give us an answer right now,” Michelle told me softly “We just thought we would ask you, you’re our first choice of surrogate, and our only personal choice,”

“Why would you want me to do it?” I asked her “Wouldn’t you feel more comfortable having your own sister do something like this?”

“No,” She told me honestly “Val doesn’t even know that I can’t get pregnant, and I see you as my own sister anyway,”

“Hannah-“

I cut Brian off by holding my hand up to him.

“I have to go,” I spoke quickly, grabbing my glasses and my iPad off the table, scooping my bag up off of the floor and slinging it onto my shoulder as I took off out the shop, ignoring them, leaving them behind.
~~~~
Erin
The parlour was quiet today and I had already done the touch-ups I’d had booked in for the day, so I was free for the rest of the day but I decided to hang around in case we got any drop ins.

Hannah was out to lunch with Brian and Michelle today since her store was closed on a Sunday, and I hadn’t heard from her in a while which was weird, she rarely goes this long without texting
me.

I was sitting behind the reception desk with Mark, scribbling away some ideas I’d had for some work I might have done on my own skin when the bell above the door rang loudly as someone burst through the door. We all looked over to the door and I saw Hannah standing there, a frown on her face and tears in her eyes. Her hair was windswept but being kept down by her beanie and her bag was hanging off of her shoulder and she was panting heavily as if she’d been running.

“Hannah?” I asked, slowly approaching her “Hannah, sweetie, what happened?”

“They want me to carry their baby,” She whispered, frowning harder.

If she was making any sense and saying what I thought she was saying… I honestly didn’t know how to react, and I didn’t move until she practically collapsed into the sofa in the little waiting room in the corner. I rushed over to her and slid onto my knees so that I was crouching in front of her.

“Breathe,” I instantly started coaching her “It’s alright, just take deep breaths and calm down,” I turned around and looked at Mark behind the desk “Monster!” I called to him, three seconds before the can of Monster Original came hurling towards me and I caught it with one hand before it could hurt either of it. I popped it open and handed it to Hannah.

She brought the can to her lips and tipped her head back and started to chug, within a minute the whole thing was empty, she crushed the can in her hand and dropped it in the trash can beside her before gesturing for another. I raised my eyebrows at her in questioning.

“I’ll sip this one,” She defended as Mark handed her the can and took a seat beside her.

“Alright,” I chuckled “Now, what’s going on?” I asked.

“Brian and Michelle decided to go down the route of surrogacy to have a baby,” She started and
I nodded along while Josh, Steph and Adam – the other artists – came through to see what was going on “And they told me they were going to ask someone they already knew before going through an agency to find a woman, so I figured they’d asked me to meet with them so that they could ask me to help them out with asking whoever they had in mind, and I thought they might ask Val,” We were all nodding along “And if they were going through an agency, maybe they wanted me to meet the woman with them, but no, they’ve asked me if I would do it for them,”

“You mean,” Steph spoke up “They want to rent out your uterus to grow their kid?” Hannah nodded.

“You need to try and not freak out about this,” I told her, taking her still shaking hands in mine
“Think about it logically, the pros and cons of doing this for them,”

“Okay, pros first,” She nodded, taking another sip of Monster.

“Think about how happy they would be because of you,” I told her with a smile “You would be giving them something that they’ve wanted for a very long time, you would make them so happy, complete them and make them a family,”

“That’s true…” She said quietly, tilting her head to the side a little “Cons?” She asked, looking up at all of us.

“You’d be pregnant,” Steph spoke again, she would be better at this because she already had two kids “You would go through so many changes, your boobs would get so big that they’re painful, stretch marks, back ache and then there’s giving birth,” She cringed at the memory.

“It might do wonders for your breasts, though” Josh shrugged “Not that they need to get any bigger but I mean, whoa, think of what they would look like after having a kid,” We all chuckled
“The back ache and giving birth sounds painful, but the stretch marks?” We all looked at him
“They’re your stripes and you’ll have earned them after doing something so amazing for other people,”

“Do they need an answer from you now?” I asked her, but she shook her head.

“They told me that I didn’t need to answer them right now, but I took off before we could discuss it any further,” She tugged her beanie off of her head and ran her hand through her hair “Damn my flight instinct, it always beats fight,”
~~~~
Matt
“What the fuck was I thinking?!” Brian exclaimed, running his hands though his hair and tugging harshly “She’s my kid sister, I was being fucking stupid asking her to carry my kid for me!”

“Bria-“

“Of course she would never do something like that, it’s too much to ask of anyone,”

“Look man!” I said loudly to get his attention before he destroyed any more of my house “I get it, you’re upset about the way she reacted, but can you blame her?” he turned to look at me “She’s twenty-three, living with her best friend and running her own business, I’m sure she isn’t even thinking about having kids of her own any time soon, and she’s probably just freaked out about the sudden question,”

“What would you know?!” He snapped, slamming his fist down on the coffee table “You’ve already got a kid of your own, he was conceived naturally and completely by accident, right?” I took a deep breath “You don’t know jack shit, Matt!” I blinked in surprise at his outburst, but let him get it all out “You don’t know the pain of seeing the heartbroken look on your wife’s face every month when she gets her period, you don’t know that sinking feeling in your gut when you realise that another month has passed and you failed to get your woman pregnant, and you sure as hell don’t know the pain of being told you won’t ever be able to do it!”

His voice shook at the end of his outburst and he dropped his head into his hands, dropped onto the sofa and let out a cry of pain, frustration and anger. I sat down beside him carefully and quickly wrapped my arm around his shoulders and pulled him into my side and let him cry.
I’d always thought that this whole thing was taking it out of him, that it was exhausting and it hurt him every month when Michelle would find out that she wasn’t pregnant, but he had never said anything to any of us but we never pushed it. If Jimmy were still here I’m sure he would never have had to push Brian into speaking, Brian would have just spilled his guts to him the first time he realised that something wasn’t quite right, when he started to think that there was no way he would be able to get his wife pregnant.

He was right though, I didn’t know the pain, I didn’t know how any of that felt, but I did know how it felt to be told that you were going to be a father when you weren’t ready. When Val had first found out that she was pregnant, we were finishing up Hail to the King and I was completely shocked and at first I didn’t want the baby, I wanted her to have an abortion. Not many married men would ever want their wives to do something like that, but I didn’t think either of us were ready to be parents and we argued for weeks over what to do about it and I even moved out of the house. I lived with Johnny and Lacey for almost a whole month while we decided what to do.

It wasn’t until Val called one night to say Michelle was taking her to the hospital, that she was losing the baby, that I realised how much we did want this baby. Sure, the timing wasn’t perfect, but despite our arguments, I pictured us at home with a little baby, I pictured Val’s growing stomach and I pictured teaching my son how to walk.
We thought we were losing him for three days, for three days we lived in the hospital until we found out that he was still in there, he was still hanging on to something.

“We’re supposed to be his parents,” Val told me with tears in her eyes, finally looking away from the monitor to look at me.

“We’re ready,” I told her, letting a tear slip down my cheek.

While I might not know the pain of not having a child when I want one, I do know the pain of a surprise baby and almost losing one.

“You’re right,” I told him “I don’t know how that feels, but I’m thinking about how Hannah must have felt when you asked her to do this for you,”

“Don’t make me feel worse about this, man.” He warned me.

“I’m not trying to make you feel worse,” I told him “I’m trying to make you feel better and get you
to see things from Hannah’s perspective and make you realise that she probably just needs time to come around,”

“Alright,” He exhaled, leaning back on the sofa as I un-wrapped my arms from around him.

“I know for a fact that she wants you and Michelle to have a baby, almost as much as you guys
actually want to have a baby, and she’s your little sister, she wants to be an aunt so bad, and that might be because she isn’t ready to be a mother yet,” He looked at me “And she always thought that she would do anything to help you guys out but she never expected this to be asked of her, so she’s obviously in shock, at least a little bit,”

“She ran away from us, Matt.” He groaned “That was so horrible to see, she should never want to run away from me,”

“She didn’t run from you, or Michelle, she ran from the situation, from the question,” I chuckled
“She probably just doesn’t know what to think or how to feel right now, she didn’t know what to say to you guys so maybe she just has to be alone for a while to think things over and decide whether or not she wants to, whether or not she can do this for you guys,”
~~~~
Brian
Matt was right, about everything. I was being selfish when I freaked out about freaking Hannah out, she needs time to think, and I’ll give her as much time as she needs. I won’t bother her until she comes to me to talk, I don’t want to make things worse by making her think that I’m pushing her for an answer.

In better news though, Matt was winning Val over and after that first night he was suddenly left with the baby two months ago, he had been spending every other week with his son. Jack spends the whole week here and he loves it so much, seeing his little face light up when one of his aunts or uncles walks into the room is the most amazing thing in the world. I know I’ll have that one day, but right now, he’s my nephew and he is perfect. Matt is happy to continue sharing custody over Jack with Val for the time being, he appreciates every minute he gets with him, but the last couple of times any of us saw Val she looked a mess. I know she’s been getting signed into more advertising agencies and doing some more modelling, but she looks like she doesn’t sleep much anymore and… I don’t know what to think about any of it, but I know that if
Val were to ever get too wrapped up in her career then Matt would drop everything, even the band, to make sure he got full custody over Jack.

I stayed to have dinner with Matt and Jack, Johnny even came to visit and have a few beers with us. Zack was spending the night with Meghan, Erin was apparently picking up a shift at Johnny’s Bar, Michelle was having dinner with Val and their folks so I knew she was alright.

When I got home, Michelle was already home and had crashed on our bed with a book on Surrogacy on her stomach. I took the book from her, saved her page and set it on the bedside table and covered her with a blanket before going back down to the living room.

I was sat in my chair with a glass of whiskey in my hand, staring at the black screen of the powerless TV against the wall. I was too busy daydreaming to hear the front door open and close so softly it was almost silent, but as I looked at the black screen, I saw a figure approach the back of the chair and I jumped to my feet and spun around quickly, only to come face to face with Hannah.

“Hannah,” I breathed a sigh of relief, stepping closer to her and wrapping my arms around her, hugging her tightly.

“Hey,” She whispered.

“I’m so sorry about before, we shouldn’t have asked, it was a stupid thing to even think that you would-“

She cut me off my pressing her hand against my mouth to stop me from talking.

“I’ll do it,” She smiled at me.

“What?” I mumbled against her hand.

“You heard me, Haner.” She laughed “I’ll do it, I’ll be your surrogate,”

Notes