Nobody Said It Was Easy
Chapter Eleven
Third Person
Hannah shifted, pulling her feet out of Matt’s lap so that she could lean forward and grab his face.
“Listen to me,” She said softly “Humility is good when you’re doing an interview or talking to fans, but talking to me? You should be
boasting your ass off. You’re fucking amazing, Matt.”
Jimmy had been the only person who would have talked to anybody like that. He would make you listen, even when you didn’t
want to.
Hannah had just been asking Matt all about the tour that finished up earlier in the year and she had been quite the curious
customer; asking Matt about his process when he’s writing the songs that she loves so much and how he feels when he’s out
there doing what he loves but she had hoped that he would have made it sound as amazing as she knew it was – instead, he just
sounded so humble about the whole thing.
“Same goes for you, Hannah,” He mumbled softly “You’ve got this thing, Hannah. It’s sucking me in.”
She smiled, and leant closer until she could nudge her nose against his.
“So, are you finally going to loosen up about this whole ‘Hannah and Matt’ thing?”
“I can try,” He smiled, leaning to press his lips against hers.
She let out a small sound of surprise, but fell deeply into the kiss.
Matt’s hesitation was gone, he was kissing her like he couldn’t not kiss her, and that was just fine with Hannah.
He had to pull away when he hands started to wander, because as much as he was enjoying himself, he couldn’t shake the feeling
of dread in his stomach.
Hannah fell back to her side of the couch, running a hand through her hair.
“Should I just call Brian and tell him we’ve been making out all night?” She asked.
Matt frowned, trying to gauge whether or not she was joking.
“Why would you do that?” He asked her.
“So that you might just fucking let go of whatever hang up you’ve got.”
“Hannah…”
“No,” She demanded “Do you want to kiss me, Matt?”
“Yes.”
“Then fucking do it. Who gives a shit about anyone else?”
Matt’s resolve was crumbling, and he wanted to be angry at her, just a little bit. This was definitely easier for her, considering that
her brother would never throw a punch her way. Matt was so terrified of fucking things up with his band and his friends.
“Grow up,” She demanded, softly this time.
He laughed.
“It’s on my to-do list,”
“Come on,” Hannah stood up and held out her left hand while holding her bump with her right.
Matt was hesitant to take it, but he did, and let her pull him off of the couch. He was impressed that she remembered her way
around the house even after he changed what he could when Val moved out, but when they started ascending the stairs, Matt felt
sick. But he let her lead him down the hall to the master bedroom. She pushed the door open and led him through the doorway, and
shut it after them. She dropped his hand in favour of sitting down on the edge of his bed to take her shoes off.
Matt just stood near the door, ready to leave at a moment’s notice. He just watched her ease her feet out of her Vans, then pull off
her socks. She set them neatly to the side before she took off her shirt.
That was when Matt turned around sharply, facing the closed door.
“What are you doing?” Hannah demanded.
“I’m, uh... I’m just- standing here,” He fumbled.
She laughed.
“This is your bedroom, stupid. Haven’t you seen a girl in a bra before?”
Matt shifted on the spot.
“Yeah, of course I fucking have, smart ass. But I haven’t seen you in a bra before.” He lied, recalling the time that his sick son
threw up on her and he caught her changing her shirt.
“You’ve seen me in a bikini before, and that’s a lot less than what I have on right now.”
Matt stayed where he was, and tried not to let his arousal take over. He heard the rustling of fabric and he was hoping that she
was putting her shirt back on so he could take her home and pretend that this never happened.
“Are you going to stand there all night?”
Matt took a glance over his shoulder, and what he saw seriously surprised him.
“Hannah was sitting on his bed with the covers over her legs, and his old Iron Maiden cut-off on her tiny, pregnant frame. She was
on the opposite side of which he slept, and she was smiling at him.
“I told you that I wasn’t going to have sex with you,” She reminded him “But I am going to sleep with you – beside you, whatever.”
Matt turned around slowly and returned her smile, feeling relief wash over him.
“Never thought I’d see a man who was relieved he wasn’t getting laid,” She chuckled.
He snorted and pulled off his t-shirt before starting on his shoes and socks. His jeans soon followed and he crawled under the
covers in just his boxer shorts.
“You’re a lot more difficult than most women.”
Hannah smacked him lightly on the arm and lay down, snuggling up under the covers.
“This bed is awesome. I’m moving in,” She sighed.
Matt lay on his side, facing Hannah.
“All we’re doing is sleeping,” He said firmly.
She smirked and rolled to look at him.
“Yes sir.”
“I mean it,” Matt confirmed, but apparently Hannah didn’t agree as she leaned over and kissed his neck.
“Sure,” She agreed against his skin, a smile tugging at her lips.
Matt whimpered and pushed her away gently.
“Seriously, man,” He groaned “Sleep, or I will take you home,”
She smiled and flopped down against the pillow again.
“Don’t I get a goodnight kiss?” She asked.
You’re going to give me a heart attack, Matt thought with a sigh.
He leant over and pecked her on the cheek before turning out the light.
“Sleep,” He demanded again.
“Yes sir,” She repeated.
~~~~
Matt woke up for a glass of water just after one AM, but quickly forgot about it in favour of staying where he was, spooned around
Hannah with his hand on her abdomen.
What the fuck am I getting myself into?
~~~~
“What were you thinking?!”
“I know,” Matt moaned, almost as if he was in pain.
And he was, in a way. After waking up next to a sleeping Hannah that morning, he’d been in a constant state of panic. He’d
disappeared into the bathroom for a shower, and she was gone when he got out, but had left a note on his pillow.
See you soon xoxox H
As relieved as he was not to have to face awkward conversation, he was a little disappointed that he didn’t get to kiss her again.
Which was what brought him to Zack’s doorstep to confess his sins.
“Matt, this is bad,” Zack sighed, pulling him into his office so that he could close the door “What were you even thinking?”
Matt fell down onto the sofa and put his head in his hands.
“I don’t know, Zack! I crashed at their apartment the night before, she walked around naked and I caught her. Then she made the
first move and I just… went with it. If it’s worth anything, I left before it got too out of hand.”
Matt was talking about a few weeks ago when it first started, after the party, but Zack had kept his attention on what happened the
other night.
“Oh, well that’s just great,” Zack said sarcastically “You can tell Brian that you hesitated before defiling his bay sister.”
“I didn’t defile her, you sick fuck. We kissed. We slept beside each other and nothing happened.”
“Yet here you are,” Zack pointed out, perching on the edge of his desk “You’re feeling guilty about something,”
Matt squeezed his eyes shut and sighed.
“I’m a bad fucking person, right? She’s just a kid compared to us.”
“She’s not really,” Zack answered with a shrug “She’s a grown woman, but she’s Brian’s sister.”
Matt had been hoping that Zack would punch him in the jaw or give him such a verbal lashing that he wouldn’t ever look at Hannah
again.
“I mean, when you think about it. She’s been off to school for two years in the past, she lives independently from her parents. She
runs her own business, she’s got a license. It’s not even statutory rape.”
“Can you please, please stop?” Matt pleaded “I can’t have you justifying this, ok? And don’t say ‘statutory rape’ ever again.”
Zack moved to sit next to his tortured friend on the couch.
“You like her, man. If this was just a crush, I wouldn’t be worried.”
“No, it is a crush,” Matt demanded “It has to be. I can’t have feelings for her, whatsoever. She’s Brian’s sister, and one of my best
friends. She’s Hannah. It can’t be more than a crush,”
Zack did feel back for him. He thought he was stupid, but still, he felt bad.
“She digs you,”
Matt sighed at his friends words.
“She left without saying goodbye this morning. It was like the morning after a one night stand, only we didn’t have sex.”
“It’s weird,” Zack pointed out “Not only because she’s young, but because you’ve known her since she was born. It’s bound to be
fucked up and awkward.”
Matt sighed again and rubbed at his eyes.
“I need advice man. How do I get past this?”
“Oh man,” Zack grimaced “I don’t have the answers to that. Maybe you could just avoid her?”
Matt didn’t want to be in this position, and he was almost mad at Hannah for returning his feelings. He could have managed this if it
was one-sided. He’d just jerk off a lot to the picture he had of her in her bikini from last year, she’d carry on with her life and he
could get on with his.
But she had ruined it all.
“I know exactly what I have to do,”
~~~~
“This is your fucking fault,” Matt growled.
“Hello to you, too.” Hannah smirked, leaning against the door frame of her and Erin’s apartment.
“I’m serious,” He stressed “You’re ruining my fucking life.”
She laughed, looking over her shoulder.
“I’ve got the place to myself, come in.”
“No fucking way,” Matt responded, taking a step back.
Hannah looked at him, and tilted her head.
“You’re so tortured. Why is this bugging you so much?”
All that was in Matt’s eyes was desperation, and he looked at her pleadingly.
She sighed and reached out, grabbing his arm and pulling him inside.
“Matt,” She spoke gently once she closed the door “Do you want to fucking kiss me?”
“Yes.” He groaned, wanting to tear out his own heart.
“Then you better fucking kiss me, or I’ll kick your ass.”
Matt threw caution to the wind and pounced. He had Hannah pressed up against the closed door and he kissed her, good and
proper.
Her hands cradled his skull while he gripped at her hips. He was done fucking around, he was done worrying. This was the best
he’d felt in a long time, and he deserved to feel fucking happy.
“Matt,” Hannah panted, tapping his shoulder.
“What?” He snapped, irritated that the kiss was over.
“You’re talking into my mouth. I can’t understand what you’re saying.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think.
“I’m just… I’m done fucking around, feeling guilty. We’re both consenting adults.”
“Exactly,” She smiled softly, raking her nails over his scalp “I want to be doing this with you, and you want to be doing this with
me.”
He nodded quickly, his eyes blurring for a moment.
“I’m really fucked up,” He admitted softly.
“Oh, I know,” She grinned “It’s what makes you so interesting.”
He laughed, leaning forward to press his face against her shoulder.
“We’re so fucked,”
She turned her head to hiss his ear, rubbing her hands up and down his back comfortingly.
“We always were,” She agreed softly “Which makes this kind of perfect. I’ve always had a crush on you.”
He lifted his head and looked at her with his eyebrows raised.
“You have?”
She grinned and pulled her phone out of her pocket, and scrolled through her images.
“This is above the old desk through the back of the store where I sort storage,”
She turned the phone around to show him, and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. There was a massive Avenged Sevenfold
poster on the wall and he was in the centre of it.
“And this,” She said, turning the phone back to scroll to another picture “Is beside my computer.”
The photo made Matt a little emotional. It was taken on the day that Hannah opened her store, and he remembered being so mixed
up that night. He was so proud of her, but at the same time he didn’t want her to get so caught up with her business that she could
forget about him.
She had her arms looped around his neck, and his own were wrapped tight around her waist. She was kissing his cheek and his
grin was bright and happy.
“A lot of people ask me if you’re my boyfriend,” Hannah smiled.
Matt grinned down at her.
“You tell then I am, don’t you?”
“Of course!” She laughed.
“Thank you,” He stressed softly, as she put her phone away “For being so cool and more mature than I am,”
She leant in to kiss him gently, her hands smoothing along his shoulders.
“Promise me that you’ll stop freaking out?” She muttered.
“I can try,” He nodded “Be patient with me?”
“Can I stay at your place tonight?” She asked.
“Yeah, you could do that,” He smiled, wrapping his arms around her.
“Good,” She smiled “Because we need a do over. This morning shouldn’t have happened that way, and I think Erin and Dale are
going to be at it again tonight… they haven’t stopped, I mean, I haven’t even had the chance to say hello to him when he’s here
because she steals him away in her bedroom.” She spoke between soft kisses.
“Agreed,” Matt murmured right back “But I’m sure you’ll be doing the same one day.”
It was becoming addictive, the warmth of her mouth. Her gentle touch and the way she didn’t remind him of anyone. There was no
comparison to Val, or any of the other girls he’d slept with. McKenna was in a league of her own, and he couldn’t shake that
feeling.
“Want to help me pack a bag?” She breathed softly.
Matt groaned.
“You know I do,” He murmured
Hannah shifted, pulling her feet out of Matt’s lap so that she could lean forward and grab his face.
“Listen to me,” She said softly “Humility is good when you’re doing an interview or talking to fans, but talking to me? You should be
boasting your ass off. You’re fucking amazing, Matt.”
Jimmy had been the only person who would have talked to anybody like that. He would make you listen, even when you didn’t
want to.
Hannah had just been asking Matt all about the tour that finished up earlier in the year and she had been quite the curious
customer; asking Matt about his process when he’s writing the songs that she loves so much and how he feels when he’s out
there doing what he loves but she had hoped that he would have made it sound as amazing as she knew it was – instead, he just
sounded so humble about the whole thing.
“Same goes for you, Hannah,” He mumbled softly “You’ve got this thing, Hannah. It’s sucking me in.”
She smiled, and leant closer until she could nudge her nose against his.
“So, are you finally going to loosen up about this whole ‘Hannah and Matt’ thing?”
“I can try,” He smiled, leaning to press his lips against hers.
She let out a small sound of surprise, but fell deeply into the kiss.
Matt’s hesitation was gone, he was kissing her like he couldn’t not kiss her, and that was just fine with Hannah.
He had to pull away when he hands started to wander, because as much as he was enjoying himself, he couldn’t shake the feeling
of dread in his stomach.
Hannah fell back to her side of the couch, running a hand through her hair.
“Should I just call Brian and tell him we’ve been making out all night?” She asked.
Matt frowned, trying to gauge whether or not she was joking.
“Why would you do that?” He asked her.
“So that you might just fucking let go of whatever hang up you’ve got.”
“Hannah…”
“No,” She demanded “Do you want to kiss me, Matt?”
“Yes.”
“Then fucking do it. Who gives a shit about anyone else?”
Matt’s resolve was crumbling, and he wanted to be angry at her, just a little bit. This was definitely easier for her, considering that
her brother would never throw a punch her way. Matt was so terrified of fucking things up with his band and his friends.
“Grow up,” She demanded, softly this time.
He laughed.
“It’s on my to-do list,”
“Come on,” Hannah stood up and held out her left hand while holding her bump with her right.
Matt was hesitant to take it, but he did, and let her pull him off of the couch. He was impressed that she remembered her way
around the house even after he changed what he could when Val moved out, but when they started ascending the stairs, Matt felt
sick. But he let her lead him down the hall to the master bedroom. She pushed the door open and led him through the doorway, and
shut it after them. She dropped his hand in favour of sitting down on the edge of his bed to take her shoes off.
Matt just stood near the door, ready to leave at a moment’s notice. He just watched her ease her feet out of her Vans, then pull off
her socks. She set them neatly to the side before she took off her shirt.
That was when Matt turned around sharply, facing the closed door.
“What are you doing?” Hannah demanded.
“I’m, uh... I’m just- standing here,” He fumbled.
She laughed.
“This is your bedroom, stupid. Haven’t you seen a girl in a bra before?”
Matt shifted on the spot.
“Yeah, of course I fucking have, smart ass. But I haven’t seen you in a bra before.” He lied, recalling the time that his sick son
threw up on her and he caught her changing her shirt.
“You’ve seen me in a bikini before, and that’s a lot less than what I have on right now.”
Matt stayed where he was, and tried not to let his arousal take over. He heard the rustling of fabric and he was hoping that she
was putting her shirt back on so he could take her home and pretend that this never happened.
“Are you going to stand there all night?”
Matt took a glance over his shoulder, and what he saw seriously surprised him.
“Hannah was sitting on his bed with the covers over her legs, and his old Iron Maiden cut-off on her tiny, pregnant frame. She was
on the opposite side of which he slept, and she was smiling at him.
“I told you that I wasn’t going to have sex with you,” She reminded him “But I am going to sleep with you – beside you, whatever.”
Matt turned around slowly and returned her smile, feeling relief wash over him.
“Never thought I’d see a man who was relieved he wasn’t getting laid,” She chuckled.
He snorted and pulled off his t-shirt before starting on his shoes and socks. His jeans soon followed and he crawled under the
covers in just his boxer shorts.
“You’re a lot more difficult than most women.”
Hannah smacked him lightly on the arm and lay down, snuggling up under the covers.
“This bed is awesome. I’m moving in,” She sighed.
Matt lay on his side, facing Hannah.
“All we’re doing is sleeping,” He said firmly.
She smirked and rolled to look at him.
“Yes sir.”
“I mean it,” Matt confirmed, but apparently Hannah didn’t agree as she leaned over and kissed his neck.
“Sure,” She agreed against his skin, a smile tugging at her lips.
Matt whimpered and pushed her away gently.
“Seriously, man,” He groaned “Sleep, or I will take you home,”
She smiled and flopped down against the pillow again.
“Don’t I get a goodnight kiss?” She asked.
You’re going to give me a heart attack, Matt thought with a sigh.
He leant over and pecked her on the cheek before turning out the light.
“Sleep,” He demanded again.
“Yes sir,” She repeated.
~~~~
Matt woke up for a glass of water just after one AM, but quickly forgot about it in favour of staying where he was, spooned around
Hannah with his hand on her abdomen.
What the fuck am I getting myself into?
~~~~
“What were you thinking?!”
“I know,” Matt moaned, almost as if he was in pain.
And he was, in a way. After waking up next to a sleeping Hannah that morning, he’d been in a constant state of panic. He’d
disappeared into the bathroom for a shower, and she was gone when he got out, but had left a note on his pillow.
See you soon xoxox H
As relieved as he was not to have to face awkward conversation, he was a little disappointed that he didn’t get to kiss her again.
Which was what brought him to Zack’s doorstep to confess his sins.
“Matt, this is bad,” Zack sighed, pulling him into his office so that he could close the door “What were you even thinking?”
Matt fell down onto the sofa and put his head in his hands.
“I don’t know, Zack! I crashed at their apartment the night before, she walked around naked and I caught her. Then she made the
first move and I just… went with it. If it’s worth anything, I left before it got too out of hand.”
Matt was talking about a few weeks ago when it first started, after the party, but Zack had kept his attention on what happened the
other night.
“Oh, well that’s just great,” Zack said sarcastically “You can tell Brian that you hesitated before defiling his bay sister.”
“I didn’t defile her, you sick fuck. We kissed. We slept beside each other and nothing happened.”
“Yet here you are,” Zack pointed out, perching on the edge of his desk “You’re feeling guilty about something,”
Matt squeezed his eyes shut and sighed.
“I’m a bad fucking person, right? She’s just a kid compared to us.”
“She’s not really,” Zack answered with a shrug “She’s a grown woman, but she’s Brian’s sister.”
Matt had been hoping that Zack would punch him in the jaw or give him such a verbal lashing that he wouldn’t ever look at Hannah
again.
“I mean, when you think about it. She’s been off to school for two years in the past, she lives independently from her parents. She
runs her own business, she’s got a license. It’s not even statutory rape.”
“Can you please, please stop?” Matt pleaded “I can’t have you justifying this, ok? And don’t say ‘statutory rape’ ever again.”
Zack moved to sit next to his tortured friend on the couch.
“You like her, man. If this was just a crush, I wouldn’t be worried.”
“No, it is a crush,” Matt demanded “It has to be. I can’t have feelings for her, whatsoever. She’s Brian’s sister, and one of my best
friends. She’s Hannah. It can’t be more than a crush,”
Zack did feel back for him. He thought he was stupid, but still, he felt bad.
“She digs you,”
Matt sighed at his friends words.
“She left without saying goodbye this morning. It was like the morning after a one night stand, only we didn’t have sex.”
“It’s weird,” Zack pointed out “Not only because she’s young, but because you’ve known her since she was born. It’s bound to be
fucked up and awkward.”
Matt sighed again and rubbed at his eyes.
“I need advice man. How do I get past this?”
“Oh man,” Zack grimaced “I don’t have the answers to that. Maybe you could just avoid her?”
Matt didn’t want to be in this position, and he was almost mad at Hannah for returning his feelings. He could have managed this if it
was one-sided. He’d just jerk off a lot to the picture he had of her in her bikini from last year, she’d carry on with her life and he
could get on with his.
But she had ruined it all.
“I know exactly what I have to do,”
~~~~
“This is your fucking fault,” Matt growled.
“Hello to you, too.” Hannah smirked, leaning against the door frame of her and Erin’s apartment.
“I’m serious,” He stressed “You’re ruining my fucking life.”
She laughed, looking over her shoulder.
“I’ve got the place to myself, come in.”
“No fucking way,” Matt responded, taking a step back.
Hannah looked at him, and tilted her head.
“You’re so tortured. Why is this bugging you so much?”
All that was in Matt’s eyes was desperation, and he looked at her pleadingly.
She sighed and reached out, grabbing his arm and pulling him inside.
“Matt,” She spoke gently once she closed the door “Do you want to fucking kiss me?”
“Yes.” He groaned, wanting to tear out his own heart.
“Then you better fucking kiss me, or I’ll kick your ass.”
Matt threw caution to the wind and pounced. He had Hannah pressed up against the closed door and he kissed her, good and
proper.
Her hands cradled his skull while he gripped at her hips. He was done fucking around, he was done worrying. This was the best
he’d felt in a long time, and he deserved to feel fucking happy.
“Matt,” Hannah panted, tapping his shoulder.
“What?” He snapped, irritated that the kiss was over.
“You’re talking into my mouth. I can’t understand what you’re saying.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think.
“I’m just… I’m done fucking around, feeling guilty. We’re both consenting adults.”
“Exactly,” She smiled softly, raking her nails over his scalp “I want to be doing this with you, and you want to be doing this with
me.”
He nodded quickly, his eyes blurring for a moment.
“I’m really fucked up,” He admitted softly.
“Oh, I know,” She grinned “It’s what makes you so interesting.”
He laughed, leaning forward to press his face against her shoulder.
“We’re so fucked,”
She turned her head to hiss his ear, rubbing her hands up and down his back comfortingly.
“We always were,” She agreed softly “Which makes this kind of perfect. I’ve always had a crush on you.”
He lifted his head and looked at her with his eyebrows raised.
“You have?”
She grinned and pulled her phone out of her pocket, and scrolled through her images.
“This is above the old desk through the back of the store where I sort storage,”
She turned the phone around to show him, and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. There was a massive Avenged Sevenfold
poster on the wall and he was in the centre of it.
“And this,” She said, turning the phone back to scroll to another picture “Is beside my computer.”
The photo made Matt a little emotional. It was taken on the day that Hannah opened her store, and he remembered being so mixed
up that night. He was so proud of her, but at the same time he didn’t want her to get so caught up with her business that she could
forget about him.
She had her arms looped around his neck, and his own were wrapped tight around her waist. She was kissing his cheek and his
grin was bright and happy.
“A lot of people ask me if you’re my boyfriend,” Hannah smiled.
Matt grinned down at her.
“You tell then I am, don’t you?”
“Of course!” She laughed.
“Thank you,” He stressed softly, as she put her phone away “For being so cool and more mature than I am,”
She leant in to kiss him gently, her hands smoothing along his shoulders.
“Promise me that you’ll stop freaking out?” She muttered.
“I can try,” He nodded “Be patient with me?”
“Can I stay at your place tonight?” She asked.
“Yeah, you could do that,” He smiled, wrapping his arms around her.
“Good,” She smiled “Because we need a do over. This morning shouldn’t have happened that way, and I think Erin and Dale are
going to be at it again tonight… they haven’t stopped, I mean, I haven’t even had the chance to say hello to him when he’s here
because she steals him away in her bedroom.” She spoke between soft kisses.
“Agreed,” Matt murmured right back “But I’m sure you’ll be doing the same one day.”
It was becoming addictive, the warmth of her mouth. Her gentle touch and the way she didn’t remind him of anyone. There was no
comparison to Val, or any of the other girls he’d slept with. McKenna was in a league of her own, and he couldn’t shake that
feeling.
“Want to help me pack a bag?” She breathed softly.
Matt groaned.
“You know I do,” He murmured
Notes
This is just an unplanned filler, and it's sort of just to fill the gap between the last chapter and the next chapter I suppose because there may be a little bit of a time-skip.Enjoy this anyway, it isn't my best work!
~ LMV
I desperately need an update on this story! :o
1/31/15