Love Thy Vengeance

‘shhh you’ll wake her up’ I heard being whispered but I just blew it off and cuddled into my blankets closer ‘no I won’t just shhh’ I heard again so I whined a little and turned onto my other side and fell right back to sleep. When I actually woke up it was to the smell of coffee, I opened my eyes and saw that there was a photo sitting on my night stand so I reached over and picked it up to see the guys hovering over me while I was asleep, I rolled my eyes and smiled as I sat up and walked downstairs yawning

‘morning sleepy head’ I heard and I waved and walked into the kitchen and went straight for the coffee pot ‘morning’ I heard again and I looked up to see Zack smiling at me, I smiled back sleepily and put some creamer in my coffee ‘did you sleep ok?’ he asked and I nodded as I leaned against the counter, he walked over to me and hugged me, I hugged back then went back to focusing on my coffee ‘I love the picture’ I smiled and he looked away with a whistle ‘what picture, I don’t know anything about a picture’ ‘mhm’ I said and walked back into the living room to sit on the couch

‘well good morning’ I heard again and I looked over to see I was sitting next to Johnny so I cuddled up against him ‘good morning guys’ I said as Zack walked into the living room to join us, Johnny wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I cuddled into his chest a little more ‘so what’s up for today?’ Brian asked looking towards Matt but he shrugged ‘no studio today so I don’t know’ ‘well, why don’t you guys go spend some time with your women’ I said as I sipped on my coffee some more ‘what trying to get rid of us?’ Johnny asked and I rolled my eyes

‘no, I just know that you guys don’t really get to have a day off like this, go home and please your women’ I said and they all looked at each other than nodded, they gave hugs then left ‘why did you wanna get rid of them?’ Zack asked as he sat down next to me on the couch ‘just don’t really feel like hanging out with anyone today. I do wanna get to know you more though’ I said and he smiled at me ‘well, we have to get you smokes today so why don’t we go to lunch or something?’ ‘that would be great’ I said and he nodded and we finished our coffee together, watched some tv then decided to go get ready.

We went up to our rooms to get ready, I ran a comb through my hair, put on some eyeliner then changed into my clothes for today, I grabbed everything I might need then walked back downstairs to see Zack waiting for me ‘ready?’ ‘yeah, um Zack?’ ‘yeah?’ ‘can you buy me my smokes? I'm kinda not 18 yet’ I said and bit my lip, he looked over at me and raised an eyebrow ‘you're not 18 yet?’ ‘no’ I whispered and looked away from him suddenly finding my shoes very interesting ‘how old are you?’ ’17, I’ll be 18 in a few months, just not right now’ I said quickly and he just kinda looked at me for a minute I guess to see whether or not I was lying

‘ok, let’s just go’ he said and I nodded as we walked out to the car and got in. ‘so why didn’t you tell us your age sooner?’ he asked as he pulled into a gas station ‘I didn’t think it was relevant, I mean I know I should’ve said something but no one really asked either, I did just meet you yesterday’ I said and he nodded ‘ok well, I'm gonna get you smokes, can you pump the gas for me?’ he asked and I nodded as we both got out of the car, he paid for the gas then went in to get me and him a few packs.

Once I was finished I put the cap back on and pulled the little receipt out of the pump and looked at it ‘$35.60?’ I said and looked at the numbers on the pump ‘$30.60’ I said then turned around and walked into the gas station, I found Zack at the end of the line and handed him the paper ‘the numbers on the pump said $30.60, not $35.60’ I said and he nodded then told me to go wait in the car. I walked back outside and I started going through the stuff on my phone to see what I could delete and what I couldn’t ‘here’ I heard and I looked up to see Zack handing me two packs of Newport shorts ‘thanks, did you fix the receipt?’ ‘yeah, the numbers on the pump are wrong. They have been for a while’ ‘oh ok’ I said, he nodded then drove off to TGI Friday’s.

‘Zack?’ ‘what?’ ‘please don’t be mad at me because I didn’t tell you my age. I mean, you didn’t even ask and it’s not like I lied and said that I was 18 when I’m not’ ‘I know, I'm just a little upset even though I shouldn’t be’ he said with a sigh, I leaned over and kissed his cheek which made him smile ‘don’t worry about anything ok? I’ll be 18 in a few months and everything will be fine’ ‘you're right’ ‘of course I am! Now let’s eat’ I giggled and he smiled at me as we got out of the car and walked into the restaurant.

When we were getting seated Zack made sure to ask for a booth in the corner, I slid into my side and he slid in across from me ‘Hi I'm Tim your waiter, can I start you with something to drink?’ he asked and we both ordered diet coke, he nodded and walked away as we started looking at our menus ‘what do you think you're gonna get?’ ‘probably chicken fingers and fries, what about you?’ ‘I don’t know, maybe a burger and fries’ he said and I nodded a little then closed my menu and looked over at Zack, he looked like he was thinking about something other than food ‘penny for your thoughts?’ ‘hmm? Oh I don’t know just a lot on my mind I guess’ he said as he looked over at me, I just nodded and didn’t push it ‘have you decided?’ Tim asked as he walked up to us with our drinks, we nodded and told him our orders then he took the menus and walked away.

‘I'm not trying to replace him you know’ I said softly as I looked over at him, he looked up at me with sadness in his eyes ‘come here’ I whispered as I moved over, he came and slid into the booth next to me, I grabbed his hand and looked him in the eyes, those very beautiful green eyes. ‘I'm not trying to replace Jimmy, I could never ever even dream of doing that. He was your guys best friend and I know that, I've been though some pretty fucked up shit and I swear to you that it doesn’t go away, it will never go away but I will do everything in my power to make it better, I would do anything for you guys but you have to at least give me a chance’ ‘but you don’t even know us’ he whispered as we kept eye contact ‘I know, but that doesn’t matter to me’ I whispered back and he hugged me, I hugged back and kissed his cheek ‘now shoo here comes our food’ I giggled and he chuckled and moved back to his seat as our food was getting set in front of us.

Zack and I walked back into his house talking about random things when his phone started going off, he pulled it out of his pocket and checked the name ‘it’s Matt’ he said and answered, I nodded and walked into the living room behind him. I walked over to the book cases that were built into the walls by the tv and started looking at all the pictures that were there. It was Zack with all of his friends, some were from high school, some were from tour, with other bands, with Jimmy. But the one that stuck out to me the most was the one of him and Jimmy together and they looked like they were deep into conversation and didn’t even realize that their picture was being taken. I then heard Zack laugh so I looked back to see a smile on his face, he was sitting on the couch with one leg over the other, his ankle resting on his knee and his hand was on his knee.

‘yeah I’ll ask her’ he said then looked over at me ‘do you wanna go over to Matt and Val’s for dinner? The guys want you to meet the girls’ ‘sure’ I nodded and he nodded back and told Matt we would be coming tonight. I wasn’t really nervous about meeting the wives, I was however a little nervous that everyone thought I was trying to replace Jimmy. ‘what’s on your mind?’ I heard and I looked over and saw that Zack had stood up and was walking over to me ‘not much, nothing’s really up there’ I chuckled and he raised an eyebrow at me

‘I promise, I'm ok’ I nodded as I looked back at the shelves and scanned over some more movies ‘ok well we have to be there by 5ish’ he said as he looked at his watch, I nodded and picked out Land of the Dead and turned to him with a pout ‘how am I supposed to say no to that?’ ‘You’re not’ I giggled and set the movie up. We walked over to the couch and I cuddled into him a little as the movie started, he had both of his arms across the back of the couch so I guess it wasn’t really cuddling but I was leaned up against him with my feet up on the coffee table with my ankles crossed over each other.

I was pondering over what my life had become in the very short two days that I was here and I was happy for the first time in a while but I guess that I just have to wait and see what happens in the next few months. ‘Lex?’ I heard Zack say as he tapped me a little on the shoulder, I looked up at him and he had amusement in his eyes ‘I've been trying to get your attention, we have to go’ he said and I nodded as I stood up. He stood up also and shut off the tv then walked me out to the car and opened my door for me, I blushed a little and sat down putting my belt on.

He went to his side and did the same then started the car and backed out of the drive way ‘are you sure you're ok? Are you nervous about meeting the girls?’ he asked with concern in his voice, I really didn’t want to keep bring up Jimmy around everyone because I knew how much it hurt them so I just nodded ‘yeah, I don’t want them to hate me’ I chuckled a little and I felt Zack pat my knee a little ‘you’ll be ok, they won’t hate you’ ‘promise?’ ‘promise’ he smiled, I smiled back and it was silent the rest of the way but we pulled up like less than five minutes later so it really wasn’t a big deal.

Notes