Every morning when Rye woke up, she’d pray with her parents, have her breakfast and stare almost all morning at her window that leads straight to the hotel across the street, imagining if he was still there after all those days. She didn’t have enough courage to go back in there since that day. If she only knew what was going on back there, she wouldn’t have acted so rude towards her favorite singer in the planet. Even if he played an ass with her.

“Grrr, stupid!!” she groaned to herself, not able to write a single word on the chapters of her fanfictions in the past days.

His windows were always closed, the lights were never turned on, she never saw him again out of the hotel. Does he have someone in there with him? His girlfriend? Or maybe he went back to California and she never noticed?

A lot of questions in her mind that could simply be solved if she’d just walk up there and ask the nice receptionist for another favor. But her belly churned just by climbing the first stair of the hotel. She didn’t wanna bother him again or have to be thrown out by the security guys. But her concern would eat her alive.

What if he’s in pain and… alone? She thought she might be the only person that ever talked to him in there. Maybe?

A tiny proud smile appeared on the corner of her mouth. She gotta let him know somehow she’s there for him if he needed. But how, if he doesn’t even get out of the room for days now?

Rye sighed and decided to try to focus on another subject. She still had a few weeks off from her college vacation and she needed to take that time to practice the songs to play on the weekends with her friends.

When she grabbed her blue acoustic guitar, named Haner for obvious reasons, she felt the world slowly disappear around her. She’d sing and play for hours straight, joining a song in another as if they were all one part of the whole. Her whole. But this time, she played all day long and never took her eyes out of the window. His window.

---

“Girls, you know the rules now. We gotta play with doors closed and with half the volume we were using before. Especially you, Leyla. I’m always deaf on my left ear thanks to you and your blasting amp and distortion.” Rye was a bit cranky that evening, her friends could tell.

Leyla, the guitarist, looked at the other girls with a fake scared face and rolled her eyes, since Rye wasn’t looking at them while setting up her mic stand. They had to suppress their laughter.

Leyla is an exchanged Writing student from Brazil and have been best friends with Rye since the beginning of their course, that’s why she was always the one to handle her bad mood. Cause she knew Rye would have to handle hers eventually.
They only knew each other for a few months but were almost like twin sister for everything, music taste, food taste and… well, men taste.

“Okay, so, maybe you should grab your Haner and start playing acoustic songs. You don’t need a guitarist if it’s not loud.” Leyla answered, treating Rye as surly as she was.

Rye only sent her a killer corner of the eye look and started testing her mic. Leyla noticed she was acting strange those past days but she didn’t have a clue of what was going on with her friend.

“Hey, still mad at the guy who called the police on us? What’s bugging you?” Leyla plugged all her guitar cables and approached Rye, on a girl-to-girl private talk.

“No, not really. It’s just… I didn’t tell you this but, after that night I went to talk to that guy on the hotel across the street. And you have no idea who was there…”

“You want me to guess or what? Spill it.”

“It’s…” she lowered her tone in the minimum not to startle anyone. “Promise not to yell.”

“Oh my god, Keanu Reeves is there and you didn’t tell me?” Leyla opened her mouth widely and mockingly.

“Shut up and listen! It’s… it’s really him, it’s M. Shadows.”

Turns out that Leyla never had the chance to close her mouth, it kept hanging opened for several minutes after that declaration.

“Holy shh… You made him sign your White Album, right?”

“What? No, no! I went there with other purposes, I didn’t expect it would be him.”

“And why the hell are you acting like this? The man of your dreams is probably showering a few meters away from you right now and you’re acting all cranky here. You should be horny not cranky.” Rye blushed at the same time in response to Leyla’s words. It was always about sex for her.

“Shh, quiet. I don’t want anyone else to know it’s him. I know the girls are not really into them but I don’t wanna expose him more than I already did…”

“Wait… What? You exposed him? You mean, he exposed his perfect self to you when he opened the door or something?” Rye got into a vivid red color after that, remembering the wonderful feeling she had while standing so close to that shirtless man. Leyla just loved to tease her.

“Stop it! That’s not what I meant. He was only on his boxers but that’s not the point now!”

“Oh dear lord, what happened next? You passed out?” Leyla was too excited to hear the rest but she couldn’t contain the jokes. “Tell me that Brian showed right next to him smirking and asking you to come in, please, tell me.”

“I didn’t have time to look inside the room but… apparently he was sleeping and he was alone. But I’m really not sure about that, maybe he has a girl with him.”

“And what did you tell him? When’s the marriage?”

“I… ended up lecturing him…” Rye looked down at the ground, pursing her lips.

“Attagirl!! That’s what I’m talking about, you didn’t lose your mind to a sexual instinct. You resisted!” Leyla poked her arm.

“Weren’t you saying I should be horny just a few seconds ago?”

“Yeah, but still, I’m proud of you! I would’ve jumped on him and never let go. But why are you so sad about it?”

“Something happened, Le. He’s not here for fun. Jimmy… just passed away a few days ago.”

“Wait, Rev? Oh my god, they were… they were about to launch the new album and… Man… the best drummer of our generation. I can’t believe.” They were both silenced for a few seconds, trying to digest. The joke mood was totally gone.

“Yeah, so that’s why I’m worried about him. I’m not sure if he’s still there or not but… I don’t see a single light on through his window. What if he’s… all alone in there and… I’m the only person who talked to him here and treated him like that. I’m feeling so guilty now.”

“You didn’t go back there?”

“Of course not. How can I ever look at his face again after everything I said.”

“You did what was right, he was an ass to call the police. But now that you know what happened, you should make him a pie or something. I’m sure he’s not rejecting food.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea…” Rye smiled a bit. Leyla was happy to finally see that beautiful grin of hers shining again.

“Hey twins, enough chatting and more playing now, please? You’ve been blabbering for hours in there.” Maggie, the drummer, groaned.

Rye and Leyla traded glances and took their places to finally start the rehearsal. Not so happy one.

---

“Let’s take a break guys. I’m thirsty, I’m gonna go get some water inside. Anyone?”

“Can you bring us a ventilator? I’m freaking melting here with that door closed…” Maggie complained and Rye pretended she didn’t hear, opening the garage door. She would do anything to not bother Matt so that door would stay closed, even if they were all sweating like pigs.

Exactly when she stepped out in the street, she saw a man climbing down the hotel stairs in his aviators with night sky above him. Her heart pumped like Jimmy’s double bass kick.

Alhamdulillah, IT’S HIM!!

She wanted to run straight to him but her feet felt like glued to the floor. She couldn’t move, so she just observed for a moment. He seemed a little lost, walked to one side of the street, went back, stopped in front of the hotel again, and went to the other side. Rye frowned, her heartbeat trying to return to normal rate as she wondered what he was looking for.

She couldn’t just let him keep doing this, she needed to help him somehow. But she knew the chances of stuttering at every single word if she tried again was really higher now, she wasn’t that same brave girl from that day.

Since she was the only person standing in the street besides him, his gaze found her easily on the other side of the street. He kept staring without making a single move, maybe afraid she could yell at him again, she thought. But then some weird strength coming inside her deepest core made her wave discreetly at him. He didn’t reply right away, looked at each side of the street and when he saw it was clean, he walked towards Rye.

Her hands turned into ice.

“Hey…” now he waved back, standing really close to her, but not smiling at all. She prayed that no one would see them there. Not even Leyla.

“Hi!” she showed the biggest grin she had but looking down to the ground. She just couldn’t look at his face.

“I was wondering…well, you know, you are the only person I had a conversation here, even if it was on those circumstances, and… well, I need to know if you can tell me where I can find a drugstore or a…” he smirked but not so happy about it. “…a liquor store, it’s the same for me. Can you?”

A song started to flow from Rye’s garage and she got distracted, afraid that he would go away if they started to play again. He was clearly annoyed with noise. But the song was so ambient and soft that it didn’t bother him apparently.

“Well I… I can tell where the drugstore is. About alcohol, I don’t think they sell it around here… We’re Muslims so… you know, we are forbid…”

“Oh yeah, right, I forgot. What was I thinking of coming to a place I can’t even get wasted…” he grumbled those last words but she heard. It hurt a little but she ignored, he was from another planet, another universe, he wouldn’t understand.

“If you need some aspirin, I have it here in my house.”

“Oh, I appreciate it, if my head get any worse I’m gonna end up hitting the walls with it.”

“Wait here, I’ll be right back.” she ran as fast as she could inside, grabbed the pills and brought them to him in an instant.

“How do you say thank you in Malay?” when she was back, he had taken off his aviators, showing his beautiful pair of green eyes that was now surrounded by dark circles. He wasn’t sleeping, it cut her heart.

His hand brushed on her fingers and she had to fight hard the urge to hold his skin a little longer on hers. It’s haram. What if one of her parents sees it?

“Terima kasih.” as magnetic magic, her eyes couldn’t ran from his now.

“Okay, let me try, tan-ree-man ke-sih.” she laughed of his bad accent and he only showed a slight smile.

“Keep practicing. You’ll get there.” they traded smiles as she handled him a glass of water, forgetting all about her own thirst as she watched delighted the up and down swallowing movement of his Adam’s apple.

Silence fell for a few seconds. But she felt weirdly comfortable around him now.

“So… practicing night, huh?” he finally interrupted.

“Yeah, we rehearse on weekends. But I hope we’re not bothering you anymore, I made sure we lowered our volume a little.” she was embarrassed but he grinned.

“Oh, no, not really, I can’t hear anything from my room. But… now that I’m here and can’t really sleep, I was wondering if I can… hang around…?”

Rye was amazed, he was the one to call the police in the first place. Why this sudden change of mind?

“Oh… I thought you didn’t… really like our music.”

“No, I never said that. I was just acting out that day, I had just gotten here, almost 20 hours of flight, my headache, I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m really sorry for the trouble I caused you.” sincerity was pouring out of him. Rye’s heart obliged her to believe.

“Just put it aside. I already did.” Rye smiled for the fiftieth time up to Matt and his gaze fell to the ground. She noticed he couldn’t really smile for so long.

Maybe their music could bring some distraction for him now?

“You are very welcome here, Matt. You can get in if you want and watch us inside?”

“Hmm, I don’t think I can. I’m having… a few problems with loud music as you might have noticed and it’s probably better for my headache if I listen from outside.”

“Oh, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll just seat here. Go ahead, they must be waiting for you.”

Rye pursed her lips trying to quickly think about arguments that she could use to convince him to get in. But nothing.

“Okay… but if you wanna come in, just knock on the door, alright?”

He nodded with his head and sat on the bench her house garden held. She just hoped that no one would call the police on him now, accusing him of stalking.

“Oh and… by the way, sorry for yelling at you that day. I was really pissed.” she shot at him something that was crushing her throat for so long. So relieving.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. You were right anyway. Put it aside.” he shrugged and placed his aviators back on. He was even more beautiful now. But she knew he was only trying to hide his pain.

Rye waved at him, seeing he was comfortable, and got back inside, not really wanting to ever leave him again.

They only played calmer songs, ballads, over Rye’s wishes. She didn’t really want to scare him away, and maybe, just maybe, she could talk to him again after the rehearsal. She’d ask him about her songs, her vocals, if he had any tips for her to improve her technique, anything just to be able to hear his voice and his experience. Maybe he could help her finish that song she’s been fighting with since she started writing lyrics. And maybe later, when she have his full trust, he’d start telling her crazy stories about Jimmy and the guys on the road. And maybe he could feel better.

But when she went outside again, eager to sit by his side and chat all night long, there was no sign of his broad figure on her garden.

He was already gone…

Notes

aww they made upp hahaha

<3