Insignificant

I opened my eyes, feeling a sick wave of pain and nostalgia washing over my body. I opened my mouth, trying to grab a quick breath before doing any investigation. Not that there was much I could do… I felt like I was about to suffocate in this tight space. I was laying down in what seemed to be a coffin. Great. How the hell was I supposed to get out of this? I felt my mind being flood with bemused thoughts; past and present blurred together, confusing me still further. I guess I understood what was happening to an extent, but not entirely. I knew everything of my afterlife, and previous, I remembered what happened last, but was this really happening? Had I done it? Found a way to keep myself together? Something to save an irrelevant, insignificant soul? I coughed, bumping my head as I spazzed forward. Somehow, I always managed injuring myself for dumb reasons. I guess I now had a chance to work on that. I brought my hands to the wood that was inches from my face. I pushed as hard as I could, but it only jiggled the door. I repeated this step over and over until I wore myself ragged. I thought I'd give it one more try when the door itself flung open. My sight was deluged with blinding illumination, and shot with sharp pains intense enough to make me feel dizzy. I guess that's what happens when you're without much light for 5 years.
"Oh my God!" I heard a faint voice say. A hand reached in, and went at grabbing my arms to heave me out of the contraption I was in. This person helped me to stand, but when she let go, I felt straight to the ground.
"Are you okay??" The voice demanded. I looked at the woman, trying to let my eyes focus in on her face. There were tracers lagging behind her every move, and her appearance was beginning to double. "Hello?? Boy, are you alright? Do you need me to call the ambulance?" I looked to her lips to see them moving in slow motion, but no words came out. After her mouth finally stopped operating in motion, I heard the extremely delayed words begin in play in my ears. At first, her words just sounded like noise dipping in and out from underwater, but I think I got the jest of what she was trying to ask.
"Um... No. N-No I'm fine ma'am, thank you. I was just playing a game with my friends, and I fell asleep. Kinda forgot where I was for a second." She showed a soft smile full of concern, and helped me back to my feet.
"Outskirts of Southern California."
"What," I was completely shocked. "Am I even near where I was buried?" I really, really didn't mean to say that out loud, it just came out.
"What?? Buried?? Son what are you talking about?"
"Um, nothing. Sorry, that was an inside joke between my friends and myself. Are we anywhere near Huntington Beach?"
She laughed a little, but quickly covered her mouth. "Oh honey, we're closer to Pebble Beach than Huntington."
"Oh. Well how far is Pebble Beach from Huntington? Is it too far to walk?" I politely asked. She raised her eyebrows, a bit of a perturbed look entering her crystal eyes.
"Honey, Pebble Beach is roughly 6 hours from Huntington, and we're about an hour and a half from Pebble. Are you sure you're okay? Do you need me to take you somewhere? After all you were in a box in the freezing cold in the middle of nowhere."
"Umm. Sure," I might as well take her up on her offer, nothing else would come by and ask me the same thing. Well, I mean it wasn't likely. "Just the nearest town."
"Alright, hon. Come on in my car, and we'll get you warmed up." I smiled and nodded, scratching my head. I took a seat into the car and watched this nice woman push a button to turn on a seat warmer. She glanced over at me a few times, probably honestly wondering why I was out in the middle of nowhere.
"I forgot to even ask. I'm sorry for being rude. My name is Lydia, how about you? What's your name?" I bit my lip, hesitating for a second.
"Jimmy. My name is Jimmy. Do you think when we get to this next town up here, I could borrow your phone?"
"Sure! Of course." I smiled at her response, beginning to feel a bit on the safe side.
"Thanks. I think I'm going take a little nap right now. I feel awfully tired."
"Alright. I'll wake you if I make a stop."

Well I guess that's that... I closed my eyes, wanting a deep slumber to sweep over my body.

-

Familiar humming filled my hearing, and for a moment I thought I was still trapped in my dream. My eyes fluttered open, and I came to find the humming was real. I turned my head to look out the window, smiling sadly to myself. I sniffed, remembering all of the memories each lyric of that song held. I promptly wiped my eyes as a few tears came streaming out.
"Honey? Are you okay? What's the matter?"
"Hm?" I turned to look at her, shaking my head. "Oh, it's nothing. It's just that song." I whispered.
"What about it?"
"Nothing. It just holds so much. And I've never been so close to those memories before. For once in a long while I feel like I'm able to make more of those beautiful thoughts. I'll be able to... I'll be able to live again." I choked up on tears of happiness, mixed in with a bit of sadness still hanging around.
"Where have you been?" I swallowed hard, looking back at her after she asked her question.
"I've been dead for almost 5 years." I said so seriously, I think she almost believed me. She slowly nodded, gripping the steering wheel tighter.
"You know, Jimmy... I was dead once too," Her voice became nothing but a hushed whisper as she tried continue speaking. "My husband, and best friend... Something happened a few years ago. They died. Summer of 2012 they were on their way to surprise me at work for my birthday. I should've known they'd try something like that. It would be just like them to do something so nice. Well anyway, they were hit head on by a drunk driver, and they were pronounced dead on the scene. I remember when I received the news I'd just sent an email to my boss about leaving early. My world just stopped," She paused, trying to collect her broken pieces. "I felt my world stop. Everything at once came crashing down. For 2 years, I sat in my own self pity. Why's this happening? I hated myself for it. I blamed myself for it... I don't know why. It's not even logical. I rejected others, and I stayed up all hours of the night just crying. Nothing but crying. I guess I realized that I can't move on, I can't be okay if I don't allow myself to. I still have my beautiful daughter, and wonderful memories. Every day I thank my husband, and best friend for the life they gave me. I thank them so much for what I was able to accomplish through them, and my husband for giving me such a fantastic memory; our daughter. That's all I can do... You can't rewind. What's done is done." Lydia looked over at me, tears in her pretty eyes. "So if you want something, go after it before it's too late. Go. Now. Do it."
"Like a friend, we saw it through. In the end I gave my life for you. Gave you all I had to give, found a place for me to rest my head. While I may be hard to find, heard there's peace just on the other side. Left this life to set me free, took a piece of you inside of me. All this hurt can finally fade. Promise me you'll never feel afraid," I stopped, turning my head to look out of the window again. "Remember that when you think about your husband, and best friend. Promise me you will." Silence fell between us before I heard a quiet 'okay' come from beside me.
"Here," She mumbled as we came to a stop. "We're here." I saw her arm extending to me with a phone loosely being held between her fingers.
"Thanks." I said as I took the phone from her hand.

I stepped out of the car, sliding my fingers across the screen to type in the familiar number. I pushed my phone up close to my ear, turning up the volume. I heard it ring multiple times before I heard a quiet "Hello?"
I froze for a moment, almost overwhelmed with my feelings and choked up on the various words I could say.
"Hello..." I said in response.
"Who is this?"
"I-It's me... Brian, it's Jimmy." I held my breath, waiting for a response, but I don't know what I expected.
"You know, whoever this is, you're lucky I don't hunt you down and fucking slit your throat. What kind of a person does this to someone else?" All I heard next was the click of being disconnected. He hung up on me. Honestly, what the hell was I expecting to happen?

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