(Love) Contract

Tara’s POV

I opened my mouth to tell him everything, I was about to, but I was interrupted from my phone.
“Sorry.. I” I grabbed it, but Brian was faster.
He looked at the caller and got an angry expression on his face.
“I don’t want you to pick up ever again and I don’t want you to hear the messages he left and will leave.” Brian said and I frowned.
“What?” Not that I would have listened to them anyway but why would he say that.
He shut my phone off and grabbed my hand, he pulled me to his side.
“I listened to a few of them… I know something is going on. Don’t be mad, Tara. I want to help you.” I tried to understand what he was saying but I didn’t like him snooping into my business.
What if he wouldn’t believe me now? What if John would convince him, something was wrong with me not the other way around?

Brian stroked my back and I felt a little better, it was too late to back down now anyway.
“Like I said… John showed me a good time, we stayed together, he was my adventure. I don’t know, I fell for him.. hard. We came along great as long as everything was party and we had enough money, but soon my money, which I saved, was gone. We couldn’t afford all the partying, all the drugs, the friends, the lifestyle anymore.”
“Did he have a job?” Brian asked casually.
“Well, he tried… at the beginning. He worked in a gas station but they fired him after a short while, I was the only one working, trying to pay our rent. He was also convinced that he and his band, that they would become big, and I.. well.. I know I shouldn’t say that but they were never any good. I tried to make him see that it will lead to nothing, but… when I brought that topic up, it escalated.” I tried to push back the memories.
“Escalated how?” Brian asked and he stopped the stroking, was he upset, because I didn’t believe in the music my boyfriend made? He could rely to John, but Brian made it…
“I don’t wanna talk about that.” I shook my head.
Brian put his hand under my chin, forcing me to look into his lazy brown eyes, but they weren’t lazy now, they were full of fire.
“Tell me… Tara…” His voice was harsh, and I didn’t like the way he looked at me, full of anger.
I tried to look away “I am sorry if I made you mad, I wanted to believe he will get famous with it, I wanted him to, but honestly.. I.. didn’t…” Brian let go and pulled me into his chest.
“Nooo, Tara. I am not mad at you, don’t say that.” Brian stroked my hair from my face, his finger so gentle now.
“But why did you…?” I trailed off and Brian looked offended.
“He should have tried any job he could, to make a living… to make sure your rent is paid, Tara. He shouldn’t just think everything will come as a gift to him. It’s hard freaking work. We all did summer jobs, we tried everything to earn money to start with our music. He should have done the same. Now tell me what he did to you.” I sighed in relief after this misunderstanding.

“It was just… mostly when he was high he gets aggressive pretty fast, so I better backed off, but that was a lesson… let’s say I had to learn the hard way.”
“He hit you?” Brian asked and I saw him clenching his fists again.
“In the beginning he did... I packed up my things.. and wanted to go, but he refused to let me. He said he needed me, he wouldn’t stand a chance against the drugs and life itself… I fell for his saying, wanted to believe him… so I stayed, he didn’t touch me that way again. I made it clear if he ever raised his hand against me again, I would be out of there as soon as I could and the police would be at his door, before he could let all his dope vanish.” I said sadly.
“How did you stand this? Did you love him that much?” Brian asked and looked really curious.
“I.. I honestly don’t know. Now, I don’t even know how I fell in love with him. He seemed to be an adventure I wanted to be part of and I fell deeper and deeper, I didn’t find the point where it was enough… until it was nearly too late. I told you already, he betrayed me, I looked over it, drugs helped in that matter… I had friends… with him. Realized later on that, that weren’t really friends. Just people wanting to get the most out of you…” I tried not to get lost in my thoughts.

“Do you still have feelings for him?” Brian asked and I could positively answer that question with a big fat no.
“No, I would be happy to erase all the memories and months I wasted there. I should have seen he was a lost cause…” I shrugged my shoulders and Brian relaxed a little.
“Why was it so hard for you to talk about this? It’s not your fault, babe.” Brian asked and I smiled at him calling me babe.
“Well, as you might have noticed, I am broke, living on my sister’s couch-”
“Living in a big ass house… mine.” Brian interrupted.
“As a servant” I replied with a smirk.
“Oh servant? How about I buy you a nice maid costume, you could wear it and do the dirty work then.”
“Since when do you call yourself dirty work?” I replied and had to stifle a laugh.
“Touché.” Brian chuckled.

“Okay, so I was broke, lived on my sister’s couch and spent all the money I had on paying the rent of my stupid ex-boyfriend to get away from him. I have no friends left, I have nowhere to go to. I am out of everything. How do you like my story now? How do you think I am feeling in letting you, the big rockstar, know, how lowly your new fake girlfriend is, huh? Do you think I like admitting all this, you knowing what a sad person I am… that I was too stupid to see how my boyfriend treated me, that he made me look like I was the addict, that he told all our “friends” that I slept around, that he was the victim of me. That I spent all his money?! Do you want to believe me? Or are you like all the others? I can leave, just say the word and I am gone.” I was talking so fast and all the emotions bubbled up, I couldn’t hold back the stupid tears, I never talked to anyone about this, not even my sister, my own family.
What if Brian really thought I was stupid, I was the one to blame, like all the others? Like everyone ever had?
I sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for Brian to dismiss me, like all the others had.
I whisked away the tears with the sleeve of my shirt.
Matt gave me this chance, he wanted me for the job, he knew I could do it, and now I could have destroyed everything in telling the truth.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, Brian lifted my hair to the other side, he planted small kisses on my skin.
I closed my eyes trying to just feel, let me enjoy it maybe a final time.
“Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.” Brian’s voice was soft. His hands wandered down my sides, he kept on kissing my shoulder, moved to my throat.
God, how good this felt, does he know what he was doing to my body.
He must…
“I can’t understand how he could hurt you, physically and mentally. Tara, you are worth so much more. You are strong, you are kind, you see when someone needs help, you try to help them, even if it costs you your own happiness.” Brian whispered near my ear.
His fingers traced behind my ear, down my throat, all the way down my back, I shivered underneath his touch, was he talking the truth?
I turned and looked at his face, I saw honesty there, nothing but truth.
“Thank you.”
“No, I thank you.” He closed the distance between us and captured my lips with his, it was a slow and sensual kiss, something with more meaning then I wanted to feel and know right now.
I pulled away “You don’t want me to go? You don’t believe him over me?”
Brian shook his head “How could I? I know you for some time Tara. I can’t see any flaw from you. I see only goodness. You don’t think you have any friends, I can count them for you, if you want. I saw you with Alessia, she likes you. Jimmy, he slowly falls for you. Matt, I don’t know what is up with that guy, but he… that’s a different topic. Zack, Johnny, Jason.. all of them.. and me.. you also have me. We are all your friends. Even if this drives me insane from time to time, I couldn’t let you go. I don’t want to let you go.”
I was speechless, he was right… I had friends… but only 2 of them knew the truth about why I was here actually, and one of them, Matt… that was also a different story.

Notes

Comments my lovely readers...

There it is... her past :O
What do you say?! How did Brian handle it?! :)