(Love) Contract

Brian’s POV

“Michelle and I… we have been together forever… or it felt like forever… We were happy, most of the time. I don’t know how much you know about my past or read about me, or us…” I looked at Tara closely and she shook her head at me “I don’t know anything, honestly… I thought about googling you guys, but then again I thought it would be better if you would tell me everything you want me know.”

I sighed and on one hand I liked that about her, exactly that she wouldn’t give in to her curiosity and google all the information she wanted, on the other hand this was making it even harder for me, because I had to tell her everything, had to start at the beginning.. or nearly the beginning, this would hurt even more…
“Alright… to make this a little shorter Matt started to date our long time friend Valary, we have been friends for long, she was always with us… Val has a twin sister… her name is Michelle, where Val was, was also her twin… When Matt and Val were officially dating, Chelle and I got closer and closer, we fell in love… it was amazing.” I thought about all the party’s we had, all the backstage fun, all the moments, she had been with me…

“We lived together, she came to the tours with me, she was there for me all the time… but after a few years, she changed… At first I didn’t realize it. Or maybe I didn’t want to realize it? Fuck, I don’t know. I was still so in love with her, she moved in my house, we shared everything…”
“What went wrong?” Tara asked quietly and I looked up to her.
“Well, like I said, she changed, she became a little distanced towards me and I didn’t know why…She wasn’t home that often anymore…She went to parties without me, she stayed away overnight… I was so sure about our relationship that I never questioned it… I should have, but I didn’t…”
“Did she… stay with other men?” Tara asked, her head rested on my shoulder, I moved my hand to her hair and began to stroke the silky strands…
“I don’t know.. maybe…” I shrugged my shoulder, didn’t really want to think that far, the last part of this would hurt enough.
“Matt and Val broke up, it didn’t work out. They stayed friends, that’s what they told us - it was the truth... She didn’t come to all our parties or shows, but she still came from time to time… and Michelle was always there, since she was with me...”
I closed my eyes and thought back again when I got suspicious about Michelle’s behavior.

“Babe, we are going out, you wanna come along?” Michelle asked and I looked up from my guitar.
“Who is we?” I frowned.
She really acted strange these last days, she was more away then home, and normally I didn’t notice that much, since I was on the road as well, but I thought when I was home, she would want to spent the time with me?!
But she just came with me when we went to the studio and met with all the guys…
“Val, Lacey, Zack, Johnny, Matt, Jason, well.. everyone…” Michelle smiled at me and I frowned.
“Where are you going? And why didn’t one of them ask me?” I frowned at this.
“Oh well, I asked them… I called into the round and well… I thought you would like it? We want to go to a club, you don’t wanna come along?” She asked again and I sighed.
“Why don’t you want to spend time with me anymore?” I asked her and Michelle looked at me with wide eyes.
“What are you talking about, babe? I love to spend time with you?” She said this as if she meant it, but I didn’t see the same love in her eyes anymore like before.
“You do? I don’t see you here often, Chelle? You are more away then home, did I say or do anything to upset you?” I asked her.
“No babe, don’t worry. I am good. I just wanted to go out, I thought you would like it, but I can call it off, if you want to…” Michelle said and I regretted asking here at all.
“No, let’s go. It’s fine…” I would watch her closely, maybe she wanted to meet with some guy and thought I wouldn’t be coming along…

“And what happened? Did she meet with some guy in the club?” Tara’s voice roused me from my thoughts and I frowned, did I just really tell her everything?

“No, she didn’t. Or not exactly… alright… let’s say from that point further I knew something was wrong, but she refused to talk to me… I noticed she still liked to come along, when we had band meetings, she was joking around with my friends, she was so carefree then, that I thought maybe I was just imagining things, that maybe I just wanted to find a flaw…We had a tour coming up and she wanted to come along, she rode with us on the bus, we got real close together again. One day I left her with the guys at the bus and went to the nearest town, I bought a ring… I thought we were past the troubles… I thought maybe the whole situation with her sister and Matt made her a little troubled, but… I was wrong… anyway, so I bought an engagement ring.” I smiled sadly, pulling it out of my pocket and held it up, with my other hand I kept on stroking Tara’s her.
“Is that the ring?” She asked and sat abruptly up. “You wanna see it?” I asked her and she nodded.

I handed her the ring and she looked at it closely. “My god, Brian, it’s amazing.. a little too girly for me, but… wow… it is wow.” I chuckled at her too girly comment.
“Well, that’s exactly what Michelle was, a girly girl. She loved bling bling, she loved pink and she loved jewelry. I thought she would also love this ring… and like I told you before, she never wore it.”
“Are you always keeping it with you?” Tara handed me the ring back and I nodded.
“Yeah, as a reminder…” I closed my eyes again.
“I planned on asking her soon, not right away, I was thinking on which was the best way… but it never came to that…” I didn’t really want to continue…
So I was silent for a little while and just stared at the wall opposite of me.
“You can tell me, Brian.”
“I know, I want to, but it’s fucked up… It still hurts… Then only, Jimmy, you, Michelle and I knew why we really broke up.” I said and Tara lifted her eyebrow.
“What? The others don’t know?” She frowned now.
“The others don’t know the real reason..” I said and she nodded.
“Tell me… I promise it will stay between us.”
“Fine, let me tell you about the final break up talk I had with her…”

“Brian, I can’t do this any longer…” Michelle stood in the doorway of our bedroom.
I looked at her and she had tears in her eyes.
I jumped out of bed, running towards her, what happened to her that would make her cry?!
“What’s wrong babe?” I hugged her towards me, but she pulled away.
“I tried to deal with it, I tried to ignore it, Brian… I can’t. I cannot be with you anymore.” Tears were running down her cheeks and now I got what she was saying.
“What do you mean?” I asked her and stared into her eyes, another tear fell down but I couldn’t move, couldn’t even breathe.
I thought everything was good again, I planned to ask her to marry me… today.
“You and me… It’s over. I’m in love with someone else.” Michelle said and sobbed loudly.
“You don’t mean that… you love somebody else?! What are you talking about? Michelle, tell me this is a stupid joke… tell me you don’t mean that!” I couldn’t believe it.
She began to cry even harder and harder… and I got that she wasn’t joking, that she was telling me the truth, that she didn’t love me anymore… she loved someone else…
“Who is it?” Michelle didn’t reply.
I took a step towards her and laid my hands on her slim shoulders. I shook her a little.
“Who is it? Michelle, do I know him? WHO THE FUCK IS IT?”
“I’m sorry, Brian… so so sorry.” Michelle sobbed, but didn’t meet my eyes.

I put my hands on her cheeks, and lifted her head, she met my eyes finally and another tear escaped, she opened her mouth and said a name I never expected.
“It’s Matt.” My hands fell away from her, my mouth was hanging open and Michelle turned away.
She went out of the house, the door slammed shut, I walked behind her, I saw her keys on my kitchen counter…
I went to my front door and looked through the window to my driveway, I saw Michelle walk away from my house and finally I saw a familiar car pull into my driveway, it was Matt’s car.

Michelle opened the passenger door and I saw Matt leaning over to the crying Michelle, he hugged her towards him, I debated on running out…
I really wanted to, but I didn’t feel enough strength… I felt drained… I couldn’t believe this.
I never thought Matt would be capable of this… he was one of my best friends… he was like a brother, and just now he was driving away, with the love of my life…

Notes

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