I Won't See You Tonight

"Maybe it would be best if we break up," he sighed.
I looked at him; the one who had caused my true happiness, his words ripping my heart in to tiny pieces.
"Why?" I asked, trying to not breakdown*
"This just doesn't feel right anymore..."
I felt tears fall down my face.
"I'm sorry."
"Why? All you did was make me fall in love with you just to rip me apart."
"You love me?"
I looked at him.
"What does it matter? You don't love me, why would it matter if I do?"
"Anna, I'm sorry..."
I shook my head.
"Don't apologize, please," I said, tears falling.
"Anna..."
Suddenly I woke up, in the same bed with him.
I snuck out of bed and went to read, knowing I couldn't sleep again. Really I was scared to in case I dreamt more.
I snuck back into bed not long before I knew he'd get up.
I watched him sleep, terrified I would lose him.
Maybe I should end things...I would never have to hear him telling me... I thought, my eyes tearing up.
I closed my eyes before I felt his arms slide around my waist and pull me close before I felt his lips against my forehead, kissing me softly.
"Good morning, beautiful," he said, with a smile, his beautiful green eyes looking into hazel eyes.
"Good morning, handsome," I said, forcing a smile.
He sat up and frowned.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing," I told, him.
"Annabell Tibert, what's wrong? I know something is wrong."
"...How do you feel about me?" I asked.
"I care about you a lot. Why? How do you feel about me?"
"How do you mean care?"
"Well...I really like you being my girlfriend and I think you're great," he said.
"Might you say you love me?"
He froze, his eyes wide.
I looked down.
"Do you love me?"
I bit my lip and shook my head, forcing a smile.
"Of course not. Neither of us are ready for that, right?"
He breathed out.
"Truthfully, I'm not at all ready for that."
I held back tears.
"Cools. I gotta go get ready for work."
I got my outfit together and got in the shower, crying quietly.
An hour later I came out of the bathroom.
"This is your day off," he said, leaning against the wall.
"Oh. My bad!" I said, forcing out a laugh.
"Anna, tell me the truth. Are you in love with me?"
I closed my eyes as I nodded.
He was silent.
I opened my eyes to see his eyes full of what looked like terror.
I felt my heart rip apart.
"Anna, I-"
"I think we should break up," I said, holding back tears. "I love you, but you don't love me. Six years together, you don't love me and that look you have...you never will. I don't see a point in this if only one of us is going to love the other."
He was silent.
"I'll get all my stuff together and stay somewhere..."
He sighed.
"Would you like help?"
"No..."
He nodded before he walked away.
I sat and silently cried.
Zacky's P.O.V.
She's in love with me? I told her I didn't want that and she said the same.
-2 Months-
The house felt weird without Anna in it. It had been so quiet after she left. I missed her. I saw her from time to time, but it was very shortly. She looked miserable and I felt horrible about being the cause, but I couldn't help it. I did miss her though; I missed her a lot.

-Anna's P.O.V.-
I barely slept since I broke up with Zack. I would close my eyes and I would see his face or hear his voice, even feel his lips. He was alive, but haunted me. Not even getting plastered could stop it. I wanted to stop hurting, to stop crying, to stop everything. I felt empty, but I also felt agony.
'To those who have ever actually cared about me...I'm sorry. I can't bear this pain any longer...Don't tell Zacky..."
I sent the emails before I turned to my bottle of Vicodin and vodka.
After I took all of the Vicodin and drank all the vodka I got into the bath tub and to make sure I couldn't be saved, I broke my shaver and dragged the razor, deep, along my arms.
I closed my eyes and saw his face, heard his voice, smelled his mixture of cologne and cigarette smoke, felt his lips upon mine and felt his arms around me.
I started to cry.
-Zacky's P.O.V.-
"Hello?" I said, sleepily after I answered my phone.
"Have you heard from Anna?" Val asked, sounding worried.
"She hasn't talked to me since we broke up. Why?"
"...Check your email," she said, after a pause.
"Ok..."
I got out of bed and logged into my email account once my computer started up.
I dropped my phone when I read the email from Anna that Val had forwarded to me.
I quickly got dressed before I jumped in my car.
"I'm going to her place right now!" I told, Val.
"Ok!"
I hung up as I drove faster.
Thirty minutes later I stopped outside of her house, jumped out of my car, ran to her front door and knocked on her door.
"Anna, open the door! Please Anna, open the door!"
I kept knocking before I ran to the side and dropped my jacket on the ground before I climbed to her bedroom.
"Anna?!" I called out.
I saw an empty pill and vodka bottle. My eyes widened.
"Anna!?" I yelled, frantically.
I ran into her bathroom and froze when I saw her in her tub, surrounded by blood, her head against the wall.
I went to her and touched her face.
Her skin was ice cold.
I was frozen as I looked at her.
Val called me three times. The fourth I answered.
"Zack, what the fuck? I called three times! Did you find Anna?" She asked.
"Yeah..."
"Is she okay?"
"No," I said, after pausing.
"What hospital are you at?"
"I-I'm in her bathroom...she..."
I heard her gasp.
"It's all my fault...I should have told her I loved her...I didn't, but I should have..."
"I'll call 911!" She said, shakily.
I ended the call, still looking at her, at what I had caused.
She loved me and I killed her... I thought.
Some time later I heard foot steps.
I looked at the paramedics.
"Please move, sir," one said.
I stood and moved back.
I watched as they put her into a black body bag then zipping it shut.
I watched the paramedics carry her lifeless body down to the ambulance.
"She loved me and I killed her...this is my fault..." I whispered.
I would feel that guilt every night for the rest of my life.

Notes