Trashed and Scattered

The day where all my dreams came true finally arrived. I hadn’t slept at all in sheer anticipation, driving Brian absolutely livid, frantic about getting him ready. I knew he was still recovering from his bachelor party a few nights ago. He got wasted enough to kill a man, but the fucker was a lifer in drinking Olympics. He knew I was downright pissed so he stayed at Matt’s that night. Today I would exact my revenge. It was our wedding. If he wasn’t up to par, well, he was aware of the consequences.
Well, I was up all night watching reality shows about wedding. Maybe a last-minute thing to hunt for precise details, something else to send my bridal party to insanity for. Bridezilla would closely describe it, but I was open to suggestions. Nothing could ever be completely the way I wanted it, and I was also very open for error. Brian stepped down like any groom would and let me run the show. He picked out what he wanted for his part, I ran with it, and turned our small ceremony into a beautiful accord, complete with our friends and family.
Right, so it was barely seven in the morning and I felt like I was high on fucking meth. Bouncing off the walls like a toddler, unable to contain myself. Baby was restless as well, which made it that much harder to sleep. I kept to myself in the living room on the couch while I heard Brian’s wild, still-drunk snoring. That was hard enough to get used to. I managed to wake him and keep him awake around eight. He popped in for a shower at eight-thirty, and began getting himself ready around nine. At ten, his groom party came to collect him for preparations of their own. My bridal shower showed up shortly after. Jamie, Alyshia, Harry, and my sister Sadie.
I grouped us all together in the kitchen, first going over the procession details (for about the nineteenth time since Brian and I got engaged). I mean, people talk, details get mixed up. I wasn’t concerned about who else knew what was going on. Our wedding planner would take care of the extras. “Alright, so we all get down to the beach at 2:30. Last minute make-up touches. Make sure the dress fits okay. Make sure everyone is there. Everyone with me so far?” they all nodded. “Alright, then when three comes, we’ll all be lined up, ready to walk down the aisle.” I’ll admit, I choked up at that last bit.
“Can we go over who we’re all walking with? I don’t really know anyone else from the band.” Sadie quietly spoke up.
“Yeah, of course. Okay, it’ll be Jamie first with Jimmy. Best man and maid of honour go hand in hand. Followed by Sadie and Matt. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you know who he is. Then it’ll be Alyshia and Zack, and Harry and Johnny. You’re both really fucking short so you’re a perfect match.” We all laughed like teenage girls at a slumber party. Even Junior kicked in high spirits. “So, that being said, once you all get down the aisle, I’ll be escorted by my brother, Max.” As much as it hurt to decide on that, Sadie and I grieved for our late father. My mother was unfit to attend as well.
Alyshia, who noticed I was too choked up to continue, rubbed my back gently and carried on for me. “Ceremony will go for however long it takes. Reception and dinner will be at six. Bride and groom photoshoot following vows, I think is what you had in mind, Melissa. Get some nice family shots. Then after dinner will be the first dance, I guess at eight. We’ll wrap up around midnight or so. Let Melissa relax that big belly of hers. Plus I’m sure Brian’s gonna be uptight since there’s no booze.”
I sniffled and held back my tears for a moment. “Surely someone’s gonna smuggle in some booze. There’s no way Brian’s gonna finish this night sober.” We all shook our heads in agreement. “Well, anyways. That’s how the day will go, hopefully, providing nothing will disrupt the plans.”
“How’s Brian with all the plans?” Jamie asked.
I shrugged. “He said it’s all on my head. Wants me to have the wedding of my dreams. I held back a few ideas because they went beyond the limit of having a small ceremony. Don’t want thousands of people there, gawking over the boys.”
“It’s bad enough that I’m gonna be there. And walking down the aisle with them…oh my gosh.” Harriet blurted out.
We all laughed again before Jamie retorted, “Try being married to one. Gets real old really quick.”
“Yeah, I clearly have no idea what I got myself into.” I whispered with a haughty laugh.
“Least you wound up with the super-hot one, Liss.” Alyshia hissed, pinching my arm. “Honestly, Jamie and I thought for the longest time that Matt and Brian were totally gay for each other.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well…they have their moments, that’s for sure.” Everyone whooped and poked me to carry on with that comment, but I made sure to shut right up. Couldn’t let that little secret slip. Honestly, that’s what I was most afraid about today…people finding out about what happened between us three. If Matt or Brian got fucking wasted, I guaranteed it would come out. “Hey, things ought to get kinda weird when you’re stuck on a bus or in a van with four other dudes. I’d totally be trying to get some. Being away from girls for a year at a time, why not?”
“Well, you’re not wrong. I’ve heard stories from Jimmy.” Jamie admitted. Alyshia agreed. Her laughter hadn’t quite ceased yet. “Oh man, we’re gonna get behind. Melissa, where’s your dress?”
I slowly got to my feet with Sadie’s help and led the girls to Brian’s bunker. “He hasn’t been down here in a long, long time. I picked it out just after we got engaged, kept it with Harriet. When she moved I had to take it back. The timing was perfect. I brought it down just after their album was released so I knew Brian wouldn’t come down here and find it.” I unlocked the bunker and switched on the light, revealing the enormous white dress still wrapped up in its clear case. They gasped in amazement and shock, frenzied to bring it down and slip me into it. I was careful to step into the top, glad that it was made to zip over my belly rather than tear the seams to stretch. Waste of thousands of dollars.
Alyshia and Sadie made sure I fit into it without being uncomfortable, both ogling over the fabric and design. “It’ll be nice and aerated for the beach today, anyway. Wouldn’t want mama bear to overheat in the sand. Shoes?”
“Upstairs. In a box in the closet. I didn’t hide them so well.” they helped me back up the stairs after locking the bunker back up. Harriet tarried on the stair case staring at all Brian’s old merchandise, completely awestruck. “Hey, you’ll get to see them all goddamn day. Let’s get a move on so it can happen, huh?”
“Right. Yeah, sorry. It’s just incredible…my friend from college…is marrying a fucking rock star. Surreal.”
I rolled my eyes and kept my focus on not falling down the stairs. This was the last I’d see of my house for the rest of the day. We would soon be on our way to the hair salon where I’d be made up into a fantastic ‘do, something that would fit the theme. Make Brian’s jaw slack. It took about two hours to finish, then a collective two hours to finish the girls. We barely made it in time to the beach. Alyshia made sure Brian was nowhere in sight and escorted me to the beach house where I’d wait until the ceremony started.
I met with my brother whom just got into town a few days before. We hugged for several moments, careful that my crimson red lipstick didn’t smear onto his suit. “Nervous?” he asked me, brushing down the enormous cloud of white mesh fabric. Surely the sand would never come out of it.
I exhaled slowly and tried to contain all my mangled emotions. As if the wedding didn’t pull me apart, the pregnancy sure fucked me up for good. I wasn’t sure how Brian felt about sharing his last name with me after all this. “Oh, god.” He laughed uneasily and patted my back. “Oh god, I’m gonna be sick out there.”
“You better not be. Surely that dress cost a fortune.”
“Brian’s dime.” I straightened up and took a few deep breaths. The baby was kicking furiously. He just wouldn’t let up today. Made me even more nervous, really. I mean, what if I went into labour during the ceremony? It hadn’t even been nine months yet. “Man, Junior just won’t take it easy. He’s been railing my ribs for the last three days.”
Max firmly planted his hand on my belly and stared me in the eyes. “It’s not just a big day for his parents, you know. He’s got something to do with it too.”
Smiling, I looked down to the huge bump I’d grown to know too well. “He’s a fighter, that’s for sure. Gotta get all this wedding crap over and done so we can focus on him coming out.”
“Yeah, only ten more hours of this.” He joked. I pinched his arm, resting on the wall until the ceremony started. When the music played my heart lurched. I was shocked hearing piano keys rather than a deep bass tone or guitar. It didn’t sound like their style. Brian and I never really talked about music arrangements or anything; I assumed he’d have someone take care of it, like his father or their producer. Nonetheless, I was very taken aback.
It would take a full song for the bride and groom parties to reach the altar. When the cue for the bride’s song to play, my tears fell harder and faster than they had all along. Max grabbed my arm and my hand. I gripped my flowers tightly and left the shelter of the beach house, my dress blowing in the soft humid wind. I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up as the entire audience stood.
I saw all the familiar faces I could gather; his family mostly, as mine was so small that besides my brother only a few cousins and aunts and uncles showed up. I wasn’t let down. My mother was an abusive alcoholic who became senile years ago and well, my father got put in the grave when I was younger. But I had Brian’s family to pick up the slack. For that I was entirely grateful.
His cousins and distant relatives took up a vast majority of faces. Aside from them, I saw the Berry’s sitting in the approximate middle, next to Benji and Joel Madden. God, I hadn’t seen those two in forever. Years, I’d say. Brian’s parents and siblings sat in the front with his ages-old maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather. Papa Gates was crying just as much as Mama was. When my eyes left the crowd, what little I could see of them anyway through the tears, my gaze fell on the altar. My bridesmaids standing with bright, wide smiles on their faces. The groomsmen grinning fiendishly. And then my lover, my one and only.
His jaw, as I anticipated, slacked off. His face turned very red, matching the cardinal on his jacket lapel. Honestly I’d never seen him in a suit before. It was alien to me, but very flattering. Extremely intimidating. And then I saw him break down, put his hand over his mouth. Trying to hold back all the emotions. When I finally reached the altar, I kissed Max on the cheek and he helped me up to the platform, then joined my family in the front row with Brian’s. He and I then joined hands and I noticed his were very shaky. I didn’t expect him to be so nervous. “Oh my god, you look fucking beautiful. I can’t believe I’m about to marry you.” He whispered.
“Neither can I.” I whispered back.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” We smiled at each other and turned to face the justice of the peace.
Everyone shuffled and sat back down in their seats just as the music started. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Mr. Brian Elwin Haner and Ms. Melissa Dawn Sanders. Two beautiful, young souls sharing their love in the name of law and holy matrimony. How unique of a pairing, and how strong of a bond would become of this young coupling. And in honourable blessing, have already been given a miracle of life.” He pointed at my belly, bringing a low murmur of laughter throughout the crowd.
The ring bearer, Alyshia and Zack’s son, came up to the altar and gave us our rings. “On this day forward, shall your lives be full of happiness. Shall you share each precious moment together, bring and show love to the world as you have in the past years. Brian, please repeat after me.” I watched Brian shuffle nervously. Surely his tongue had become lead. “I, Brian Elwin Haner,” Brian repeated. “Hereby declare before these witnesses…that I take you, Melissa Dawn Sanders…to love and care for you…for as long as you shall live.” His words hitched in his throat and as he slid his ring on my finger, he grabbed it and squeezed firmly.
The officiant then had me repeat the same words. After I was finished placing Brian’s ring on his own finger, he carried on. “Do you, Brian Haner, take Melissa Sanders, to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and health, in life and death, as long as you both shall live?”
“I do.” He practically shouted it, not taking his gaze from me.
“And do you, Melissa Sanders, take Brian Haner, to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and health, in life and death, as long as you both shall live?”
“Yes, I do.” Oh god, it sounded like that bloody song I hated. Brian smiled, his tears still flowing steadily.
“I hereby name you, Brian and Melissa Haner, as husband and wife.” Brian didn’t wait a single second to dive straight for my lips, wrapping his muscular arms around my waist. In the distance I heard the audience cheering, but my focus was on my new husband. His bandmates cheered louder than everyone else did, I swear.
It happened. It finally happened. I was married, and just about ready to pop out our kid, and I felt as though I took permanent residence on Cloud Nine. There was no other time in my life I’d feel this level of euphoria. Well, except when Junior would come out.

Notes

Okay so I cried throughout this whole chapter. Might not be up to par because of that.