It’s the weekend. Usually Ryder spends her weekend with her runaway dad but lately he always made up some excuses like he was busy running the diner and so on. She started to get suspicious of her dad’s behavior not long ago. Whenever she came to the diner, her dad’s always went stiff and awkward, especially when Esmeralda is around. Esmeralda is one of the waitresses there. Sometimes she wondered, are they having an affair behind her back?

And today her dad bribed her with a motorbike, saying that she needed it to move around. Going to school and such. It made her assumption seemed even more accurate.

He really thinks I’m going to drive that to school? Hell no! I will attract too much attention!

Ryder let out a big sigh and closed the curtain. She had been staring at the bike for 10 minutes now. She looked around the house. Her mother wasn’t there. She had an appointment with the therapist. She plopped her body on the couch and gawked at the ceiling. Her eyes were about to shut slowly until there was a sound of a loud guitar noise accompanied by drums and gibberish singing. The sound stopped suddenly now and then, a few talking voices were heard along the way before they started again.

Her eyes snapped open abruptly. “Damn Jimmy…now you got the whole crew to irritate me?? Gahhh!”

She buried herself under the pillows on the couch, trying not to listen to the obvious sound from next door.

It was 7 when the loud sound finally stopped and Ryder didn’t realize when did she actually fell asleep on the couch. The next thing she knew was, she woke up to the sound of loud knocking on the door.

“Ryder! Yo, Ry! Open up, it’s me Jimmy!”

She sat up straight and rubbed her eyes. Ignoring her frizzy hair, she stumbled towards the door and opened up.

“What do you want?”

Jimmy raised his brows high. “Are you a lion or something?”

“What?”

“Your hair.” Jimmy pointed then laughed uncontrollably by himself, making her blushed and combed off her hair using her fingers.

“You came here to say that? Go home kid.”

She was about to close the door when Jimmy held it back with his palm. “Chill out, jeez! You’re alone? Can I come in?”

“Precisely why you shouldn’t.”

Jimmy ignored her remark and went in casually, his eyes looking everywhere.

“Make yourself at home.” She said, sarcastically while shutting the door behind her.

“It’s really been a while since I’ve come in here.”

“You’ve been busy, I understand.”

“Well, you know how wanted I am.”

“Yeah,” She coughed. “Manwhore.”

Jimmy laughed slightly and took a seat on the couch where Ryder had slept on earlier.

“Speaking about that,” he started. Ryder yawned and folded her legs on the other couch opposite him. “Can you do me a favor?”

She rolled her eyes. “Baby sitting again?”

“Nope. Well, I wouldn’t call him a baby, but there’s definitely a ‘sitting’ needed.”

Ryder frowned at him, wearing a puzzled look.

“I need you to hook up with my friend.”

Her eyes grew wide as her jaw opened and closed in pure shock. “Excuse me?”

“I need you to screw my friend.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“It’s simple, Ry! I need you to have a one night stand with a friend of mine. End of story.”

“Why would I do that??”

Jimmy stood up and took a deep breath before he began again. “Remember when I said I’ll hook you up with a man?”

“So, the man is your friend?”

“Uh..not exactly. But he’s your one way ticket to get to a man.”

“I…don’t get it.”

“Listen, I know you’ve been in that room all your life, especially since your parents…you know. And not once I saw a man with you. Your mom’s kinda right, actually. When she said-”

“What’s your point, Jimmy?” she pressed.

“Okay, my point is. Once you’ve hooked up with my friend, he will tell the other guys about how good you are. And when they heard that about you, they will look at you and approach you. Trust me, I’m a guy. We are curious about these things.”

Ryder sat in silent, trying to digest every word that came out of his mouth. “In other words, you want me to be a slut?”

“No..no..not a slut! Just..a better prospect for dating option.”

She landed her palm on her mouth and thought deeply. “Your friend, does he agree in this?”

“Yeah, totally.”

“Why? I mean…why? I don’t even know him. Which one is he?”

“Oh, you’ll know when you meet him later. Trust me, he’s fully equipped if you know what I mean.” Jimmy wiggled his eyebrows and winked. Ryder’s cheeks burnt in vivid red as she ran her eyes away from him.

“Well, if he’s...he’s...fully equipped…why me? Isn’t there any other girl that he can find?”

“Because he thinks you’re beautiful.”

“He…does?”

“Yep. First time he saw you.”

She buried her face in between her knees and slammed softly on them. She needed to be with a man too. Her mother’s constant nagging about her not knowing anything related to men are starting to eat her inside.

Besides, this is just a one night stand. No harm done, right?

Boy, let’s hope she’s right.

“Why don’t he just ask me out then?”

Jimmy opened his mouth to answer but he couldn’t find the right answer.

“Um, let’s just say…that…he’s not really looking for an exclusive relationship. What the hell, just screw him alright?”

“I dunno Jimmy. I’ll think about it. But for now, get out.”

“What? You’ll think about it? Thank you so much Ry! You’re my savior! You always are!”

Ryder rolled her eyes. “Yeah and you’re always in trouble. Now get your ass outta here!”

---

She clicked the play button on her computer again. She felt disgusted everytime, but can’t help feeling wet in her underwear. This wasn’t the first time she watched videos like this but she had never watched them intently and studied the moves.

A preparation for a ridiculous blind-one-night-stand, sure is ridiculous, she thought. She stopped the video and stared at the unpeeled banana in her hand. Slowly she peeled the skin one by one, revealing a long but soft, delicious and inviting flesh underneath. She licked her lips and put her mouth around the tip. Gently she pushed the flesh inside her mouth and pulled it back out, wondering what’s so fun about it?

A while later she got really bored from sucking a passive and unresponsive fruit so she bit the head off and closed her porn video. She moved on to play World of Warcraft on her computer then and felt no regret.

It’s only inside of the gaming world that she can finally be herself and guys actually liked her. Yeah, she’s considered as an adult now, she’s almost 19. But sometimes she refused to grow up.

There’s this one gamer called ShadowMaster, kept greeting her everytime she’s online. Ryder thought he was cute and sweet. They’ve been communicating with each other for over a year now.

She smiled everytime she saw his status is online, even now.

ShadowMaster : hey, you’re on.
MysticalWisp: hey, yeah I am. Battle mode?
ShadowMaster: nah, just browsing the weapon. How are you?
MysticalWisp: I’m good. My internet sucks today. Mom’s on the phone all the fucking time. God knows who is she talking to.
ShadowMaster: Is she alright? Still depressed?

Ryder let her fingers hung on top of her keyboard and chewed the banana slowly. This gamer knows about her mom and dad and to her, he was the only place she could let her feelings show. They couldn’t see nor hear each other so no judgment will be made.

MysticalWisp: Still. Sometimes I think she’s glad that dad’s gone. She laughed all by herself the other day. Scared me to death.
ShadowMaster: Hahaha
ShadowMaster: Oh shit, I shouldn’t laugh. I mean, there must be something that makes her happy.
MysticalWisp: I think it’s the pills. And I think my dad’s having an affair behind my back and he’s afraid to tell me.
ShadowMaster: Oh man. I’m sorry about that. :(
MysticalWisp: Don’t be. You’re a sweet guy. :)
ShadowMaster: I know I am. Heheh. :)

“RYDER!!”

Ryder winced in her chair at the sound of her mom’s voice from downstairs.

“WHAT?!” she yelled back.

“COME DOWN HERE, NOW!”

She groaned and logged off her computer before running down the stairs to find her mother standing under the doorframe.

“What is this?” her mother attacked first. She was holding an A4 sized envelope in one hand and the other rested on her hips.

“A letter?”

“Don’t be a smart-ass. It got your name on it. Says it’s from Prince-”

“HOLY SHIT!” Ryder dashed towards her and grabbed the letter furiously. Her face changed slowly to a bright expression as she saw the crest that held the logo and name of Princeton Academy. Quickly and hungrily she tore up the envelope and pulled out the letter in it.

Her mother crossed her arms, watching her intently but without saying anything while Ryder read on the letter.

“Mom! I got in! I GOT INTO PRINCETON!” she jumped and yelped happily, holding on to both of her mother’s shoulders.

“What? You got in?”

“YESS!!”

Her mother dropped on the floor and grew depressed again. She couldn’t stand seeing everybody happy, including her own daughter.

“You’re gonna…leave me alone?”

Ryder stopped jumping and stared at her. “What?”

“You’re going? You’re gonna leave me. You’re gonna let me die here all alone, all by myself.” The woman started crying and Ryder just didn’t know what to do.

“Mom, I’ve been working my ass off to get into college. Why can’t you be happy for me?”

Her mom looked up and glared sharply at her. “You want me to be happy? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HAPPINESS HUH?! YOU KNOW NOTHING! YOU’RE JUST AS ALONE AS I AM! NOBODY WANTS TO HAVE YOU!”

Ryder stood still and speechless, though a drop of tear had started to fall down her cheek but she held back from crying. Those words stabbed her heart like a blunt knife. And it came from her own mother.

“How..how could you…”

“I’m not letting you leave! You don’t get to leave me Ry! You’re going to stay here, and be alone with me, until we’re both dead!”

After that her mom stormed to her room, leaving Ryder stuttered and crying hard. She felt sick of this. Sick of everything. She didn’t want to stay anymore. And along with this college admission letter, she finally made another decision.

She’s almost 19. She had to do this.

Notes

A/N: the reasoning....haha XD comments!