Lizzy didn’t want to wake up- it was as simple as that.

She wanted to keep her eyes shut, because in her head where the dreams were made, nobody had a problem with who she wanted to love. Nobody had thrown her out of their house and she hadn’t told anyone she didn’t need them, especially the one person that she’d needed most out of them all. The alarm was buzzing and without taking her head away from the pillow, she flopped her hand over wherever the machine was, feeling around for the metal contraption.

Yet all she could feel was soft skin and hard muscle- and she wondered if Jimmy had stayed there for the night.
Groaning, she turned over as the snooze button was finally hit and shut her eyes, wishing the world to just disappear and let her feel like shit for the rest of the day.
“You can’t expect to hit me and then just go back to sleep, Liz. You gotta get the fuck up”

Zacky?

She turned over, rubbing her eyes as his figure came into focus. He was sat beside her on the bed, fully clothed unfortunately, and watching her with almost a sad smile.
“Zack- why are you here? Did Jimmy not tell you what happened?” she said softly, closing her eyes when she felt his lips press against hers again.

It was like coming home after a long day, relaxing and in that one moment, everything becomes right with the world again. You feel like you’ve finally made it.
“Jimmy told me everything, sweetie. And I know what Brian did seems harsh now, but he’s upset. I still can’t believe he chose to listen to Anna over you but…I get it”
“You get what?”

“That even now, he’s still protective of you. I mean, I would be if you were my sister. He doesn’t want to see you get hurt again”
“It still doesn’t explain why he almost turned into my dad. He called me ‘young lady’ for fucks sake!”
Zacky laughed.

“Lizzy, he’s always been like that. You may not have seen it, but we all did. He left band practise a half hour before everyone else so he could get home to you and help you with your homework. He turned down a chance to see fucking Metallica when we were fifteen so he could look after you for the weekend. The amount of times we’ve called off shows so he can stay home and keep you safe are countless. Brian cares about you so much, more than I think you realise. The only reason he threw you out was because he was mad at himself, not you” he explained softly, pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly.

She looked down at the sheets, of Jamie and Jimmy’s spare bedroom where no one should’ve slept last night. Maybe she should’ve taken Brian’s advice and just gone back to New York and left her old life in California behind. It was quite obvious that they didn’t want her here.

“Hold that thought” she muttered, something rising in the back of her throat. She’d only woken up a few minutes ago, and yet she felt like she’d consumed four bottles of vodka in the space of fifteen minutes. Leaping out of the bed, she almost fell into the adjoining bathroom and proceeded to throw up her guts in the toilet.

“Oh shit…um…” Zacky stuttered, unsure of what to do, except kneel down and rub circles into her back, letting her do what she had to do. He didn’t have experience with women throwing up, usually it was him, and he’d been drunk the night before.
Another head popped around the door, and Zacky looked up to see Brian standing in the doorway, Jimmy not far behind him. Brian didn’t look happy, but he didn’t look angry either. In fact, he looked miserable.

"Zack, why don’t you let the professional handle this?” Jimmy suggested and Zacky stood up, quickly changing places with Brian and following Jimmy out of the room. It was strange how he seemed to be the wisest out of all of them currently.

Lizzy felt like the contents of her stomach, internal organs, acid and what have you, were all spilling out of her throat- and at every moment she wanted to start crying, because it just hurt so much. Sometimes it was emotional, and sometimes it just felt like someone was kicking her in the kidneys because the pain in her stomach was pretty overwhelming. She’d figured Zacky was behind her, but when the hand that had disappeared returned, it was a different one, a larger and more familiar one.
“Just get it all out of your system, sissy. I’m right here” Brian’s small voice floated into her ear and she sighed, the pain easing just a little.

He probably hadn’t forgiven her. But…in times of trouble, sometimes siblings had to stick together.
Once she’d finished dry heaving, her throat now red raw, she collapsed against the side of the bathtub, smiling weakly when Brian handed her a cloth for her mouth and a glass of water for her raw throat. He didn’t do anything for a moment, just watched her clean herself up a little. She hadn’t felt this shitty in years. And in a moment of sheer insanity, or at least that was Lizzy saw it as, Brian pulled her gently into his arms and held her tightly.

“I’m sorry Lizzy. I’m so so fucking sorry, I’m the worst brother in the whole world” he whispered, as he put her hands over his arms, almost trying to hold onto him. She missed the days where they’d spend hours sitting together, usually when they were children, in this position- pointing out the people on the beach and how weird they all looked.

“You’re not Brian, in fact you’re one of the best I’ve ever known. Zacky was telling me about everything you did for me, and I just realised I’d been selfish to expect so much from you” she croaked in reply, turning herself so her forehead was pressed against his neck.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. You’re right- I am turning into Dad. I just hope I’m a better one than he was” Brian said slowly and Lizzy smiled. Never before had she felt so glad that he was her brother and the only man she could trust with 100% certainty.
"I guess, you must wanna know about Zacky, huh?" Lizzy said softly and Brian nodded. He didn't want to scare her into anything, but he needed to know. He wanted the clarity that she was OK.
"Talk me through it"

"This wasn't the first time Zack cheated on Anna. When you guys toured in New York a few years ago, when he was with Anna, he came to see me. We talked about what happened at the wedding- and when we realised how blind we'd both been, we ended up having sex again. Afterwards, I went into the bathroom, and when I came back out, he'd bolted. That's why I didn't talk to him again after that. I felt so guilty- I'd ruined a relationship. I know how it feels to be cheated on- and I don't want Anna to have that pain I did, even if I do hate her" she whispered, wishing she didn't feel so goddamned disgusted about herself. And her brother just nodded and held her tighter- he didn't judge.

“I lied. I do need you Brian”

“I need you too Liz. We have to stick together us Haners, especially you and me. If everything else falls apart we know we still have each other. So am I forgiven for being such a shitty brother?” he asked and she nodded, closing her eyes.
“You were even before this all happened. What about me? Am I pardoned from being the worst fucking sister in the whole world?”

“Of course you are”

The two of them sat in silence for a moment, until Brian pressed his lips up against his sisters cheek. He’d always kissed her goodnight when she was a kid, and he’d done it everyday until she’d moved out. He missed it.

“I love you sissy. Never forget that”
“I won’t. I love you too Bri-Bri”

Which only left one question in her mind. Why was she throwing up all of a sudden- if she wasn't ill?