Carry On

Again, days had passed. But unfortunately. Today was, it.

I walked back into grandads room where Brian was, and I held his dry hand. I was crying silently, but it was sobs.

I watched the light fade out of his eyes, his hand growing cold and stone like in my grasp.

"Hush, it will all be okay" he grunted his last words, and the grip suddenly fell.

Every single second I shared with him passed across my mind. I couldn't make the tears stop, and all my regrets about when I didn't see him when I could have kept jumping out at me making me feel guilty. I could not comprehend that he was now really gone. Never again would I see him all happy and giggly, of drunk off his ass. Never again would he wink at me when pretending to be pissed off at me in-front of my mom. I could not comprehend that he wasn't still in there, and this wasn't just a sick joke. In my mind I kept seeing him open his eyes, and yell at me for crying over him.

...

5 days later

Two weeks had passed since I seen Zack. A few days since grandad had died too. When I told Gracie, she was really upset to be honest. Brian had been a perfect support for me, but what would have made things even better - Zack.

I had to let everything pass for today, it was Gracies birthday - and grandad would have wanted to be here for it, so I was gonna make it special. Unfortunately, Zack hadn't showed up, Gracie hadn't noticed yet but it was only a matter of time.

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Gracie, Happy Birthday to you" everyone sang as I walked into the living room with a Frozen birthday cake.

"Make a wish sweetie pie" I smiled. She bit her lip and blew the six candles out in one puff.

"Thank you!!" she squealed. "Uncle Zack!!" she shouted. "Come see my cake! Where are you? Uncle Zack!!"

"Uhm, sweetie, Uncle Zacky is running a little late"

"He isn't coming is he?" she bowed her head down and let a sigh.

"We invited him Grace, I'm sure he wouldn't miss you're birthday"

"Oh well," she sighed walking off in a huff.

"What a dick" I shook my head to Matt.

"He said he'd be here Ray, I don't see what the problem is"

"Is this him?" I spotted a cab pull up outside, and he stumbled out. "Great. He's hammered"

"What the fuck?" Matt scowled turning too the window.

Zack burst through the door and walked into the living room, spotting me. He immediately walked away and into the dining room. I followed him discreetly. Gracie was alone in the dining room admiring her cake.

"Happy birthday too Gracie, happy birthday too Gracie, happy birthday too Gracieeee, happy birthday too you" Zack wrongly sang handing her a giftbag.

"Uncle Zack!" she squealed. "You made it" she jumped in his arms and squeezed him tight.

"Can't stay long though darling, Uncle Zack has some girls at his place - if you know what I mean"

"Hey," I burst through interrupting him. "That's enough. Uncle Zack just came to wish you a happy birthday, he isn't staying"

"Awh," she huffed.

"Cmon Gray, go and show Uncle Jimmy you're new little drum kit upstairs?"

"Alright!! Bye Uncle Zacky!" she ran off, so I slammed the door shut and gave Zack the dead eye.

"What you looking at?"

"You. You're a mess, what the fucks gotten into you?"

"Me? What about you? You on drugs or something? Jeez, you're fucking eyes are bloodshot and everything"

"My grandad died, Zack" I spat.

"Oh" he sighed lowering his tone. His drunkness seemed to fall almost immediately. "Nay, I didn't know"

"Don't call me that" I growled. I always hated being mad at him. I'd really missed him being around and it hurt to be so angry.

"I've missed you"

"I know," I said quietly. "Go home Zacks"

"Can I come and see you tomorrow?"

"No," I whispered bowing my head.

"Cmon Nay--"

"Zack," I snapped. "Stop acting like this. I told you I wanted nothing to do with you, that's how it will stay. No matter what. So just..." I felt myself flush, and an awkward lump grew in my throat.

"Ren, are you feeling alright?"

"Get out" I barged past him and rushed up into the bathroom where I randomly spewed my guts up in the bath. Luckily, Brian was in the bathroom. He was looking down at me shocked as he was trying to pee.

"Shitting hell Ren," he gasped shaking and zipping up. He flushed the chain before bending down to me and rubbing my back. "Eaten something bad?"

"No" I cringed.

He laughed and kissed my shoulder. "Yay"

"I'm not saying yay Brian, I'm--" again I threw up and started to cry.

"It's happening" he sang. "You finish up now, I'll get this bath cleaned you tramp" he joked.

"You're not funny, jesus christ" I couldn't stop myself throwing up. But it was hopefully a good thing. Maybe, I was pregnant. "Do you think I am?" I barely managed.

"Course you are" he chuckled. His happiness seemed to lift my awful mood. I gave him a huge smile, and stood up infront of the sink. I was confident I was done throwing up, so I began brushing my teeth ready so I could pound on Brian and kiss the shit out of him.

"Hurry uppp" he pushed switching on the shower, draining the icky stuff away.

"Alright done" I spat out the toothpaste and pushed him against the wall kissing him lovingly.

"I love you Ren"

Notes

Is it ok if I skip quite a bit? Like. Maybe even a year -.- I gotta get on to the good stuff soooooon