I don't belong here.

Matt's P.O.V

When we got back to Nora's, her face was blank, she kept her self from me, it hurt to feel like she didn't want me, i only wanted o comfort her, the news of the pregnancy pissed her off, not only that i think she felt betrayed. She had been silent all the way home, she never made eye contact with me either, she sat away from me staring out the window, once i caught a glimpse of her, catching a tear fall from her eye. I got out of the car and went round and opened the door for Nora, being the gentlemen that i am, i knew it always made her smile but this time it didn't work. She climbed out and walked straight o her door, not even acknowledging me being there.

"Nora, talk to me please..." i put my hand hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off and continued to unlock her the door, to be honest it pissed me off, i hurt, would she be like this if Brian was here? I loved this woman but as much as i tried i couldn't stop thinking that the reason she acted he way she did about he pregnancy , was because she was jealous, not because of Nikki, even though i doubt the idea of her staying in Nora's life helped, but because she had strong feelings for Brian, and i just felt like a constellation prize. I followed Nora indoors, i watched her kick off her shoes, chuck her jacket on the sofa and then went outside , sparked up a fag and just sat in the dark, completely emotionless.....i wondered behind her like a lost lamb, i didn't know what to do , she was gone, like she was sleep walking, Nora was absent at he moment, i just wanted to shake her till she snapped out of his, till she was back to being my Nora, just mine...

"Babe why don't we go up to bed, talk about it in the morning"

"No..im fine...i just need to think...maybe tonight you should...go home" It stunned me, to think id go back to mine without her , to sleep tonight alone without her body next to mine, to know that if Adam turns up i wont be there to protect her.

"No im not going anywhere...i need to keep you safe"

"I'm fine, you've changed the locks, if something happens then something happens, to be fair i don't give a fuck anymore" Did she really just say that? I couldn't stand the thought.

"Nora, don't speak like that, please little red, im here, please talk" She stubbed her fag out and quickly turned to me, her face full of anger, shit here we go.

"Dont call me that! No-one calls me that except one, but they're are gone"

"You mean Brian, sorry i used his nickname for you, didn't realize he meant so much too you!!" The thought of him, the thought of him with her, made me sick.

"What he hell?! what was that for!...just go, before we both say something we regret!" She started pushing me back in the house, it was hot seeing her like this to be fair, but god was annoyed, if she just admitted it maybe i'd be ok. I pushed her hands off of me and grabbed her shoulders and stood her still.

"Just answer me for fucksake, do you have feelings for Brian!"

"Matt please just go!" her eyes started to fill up with tears, it was painful but i needed answers.

"I knew it.."

"What, now your putting words in my mouth, i love you, not Brian, you've go o believe me, i cant deal with this, not now, not tonight!" Something about this, i just didn't believe, it hurt that i didn't.

"Its not my fault!"

"What isn't?! Matt you fucking confusing me and this whole thing!!"

"That you were jealous..." i calmed my tone down a bit, shouting at her wasn't a good idea, she'd had too much of this, this evening.

"I wasn't, i just don trust her....i don't want him getting hurt again"

"Again?" that comment puzzled me, did she mean when we got together?

"Matt just please, go home, you need the sleep, ive got work, we'll go out for dinner, how about a date, we've never really done that to be fair" She had calmed down and put her hand to my cheek, i nuzzled in her hand, i felt better, her scent calmed me down, i loved her, i didn't want to lose her "OK, im sorry.... im a twat... ive been selfish, ill go ......text me in the morning so i know you are ok, that we are ok" she smiled and kissed my cheek, i grabbed her by the waist and held her close, i felt her nestle in my chest, i loved it when she did that. I left like she asked, i didn't really take much notice going through my house, i hadn't been here for so long it was almost strange and unwelcoming. I climbed into a cold empty bed, i hated it, i hated the fact that Nora wasn't here beside me.

Nora's P.O.V

I sat there, fuck...i had just lied to Matt...i was jealous.... shit!! I hated hat Nikki was with Brian, i hated everything but at the same time i loved Matt and wanted nothing bu him, fuck my mind was messed up. I loved Matt, was it possible to care for two men at once? Confusion was a btich and I needed help or i was getting no sleep tonight and tomorrow, work would be hell.

I opened a bottle of Jack and sat on the staircase, someone knocked on my door, i ran over and answered it, a figure stood in the doorway "Hey, i brought my pj's had a feeling i was going to get a call"....."God where would i be without you Zacky, hanks for coming over, sorry about the text" ....He laughed, we headed up stairs and just sat on the bed with a bottle of jack to share, always something we used to do, i explained how i felt about Brian and what happened with Matt just now. "Fuck....umm yeah...your screwed" thanks for the support mate, i missed Zacky, he was the nearest thing to a bestie whilst Alex was out of town. We finished the bottle and climbed into bed, turned facing opposite walls, i hated it, i hated knowing Matt wouldn't be there, with his arms around me, i start to cry "Red? are you okay darling?" "I miss him...i mean mat before you get ideas.... i haven't slept without him in weeks, its almost natural now" the tears got worse now until zacky grabbed me by the waist, pulling me in wrapping his arms around me tight "Better?"

"Better...thank you" he kissed the top of my head and rest his head on mine.

"No problem, you get to sleep, got a big day tomorrow Red".

"Night Z...love you"

I didn't get a reply, i could hear him snoring in my ear, it made me chuckle bu soon after a fell straight to sleep as well.

Notes

comments X