It’s a couple of days after we saw Keith at the Guild and Matt’s gone into one of his silent, brooding phases. He’s moping about the pool with Bella. Told me to stay inside. Funny thing, it doesn’t scare me anymore. I guess that’s something, right? Still, I am anxious. About what it will mean, for us. All this crap coming to light that I honestly didn’t think ever would.

Keith did things that would make your skin crawl, let me tell you that now. You imagine the worse sex you’ve ever had, and then add the fact that it was not consented to on my side. I was given no choices. He forced me to blow him, though that was something I just could not handle. Too much information? Maybe. But, the only person reading this is me, and Matt. And he knows practically everything now, anyway. Keith was graphic in his retelling.

Everyone was so good about it, though. Jimmy and Matt stayed by my side the whole time, and Zacky interjected every now and again by muttering ‘Jerk’ out loud, making me giggle. Even JD and Robert were good, ensuring he never spoke directly to me.

They’ve been a bit of a revelation, those two. I mean, I’m still cagey about Robert. So is Matt, but it’s clear they’re advocating for me, not against me. That’s a big relief. Especially in the current climate.

Michelle and Brian have put their engagement plans on hold so they can support us. And recording for the album has almost taken a complete back seat, which the fans are very supportive of. Not that the band has said much on the reasoning behind it, just that there’s been a family emergency and that the band is not top priority at the moment.

All a bit sudden, though, and to think they’d drop everything for me. But, I guess that’s the nature of who they are. And I’m grateful.

~ ~ ~ ~

There is a breeze by the pool where Matt and I are currently sitting. Bella is flopped down by Matt head resting across his knees and he’s running his hand over her fur. I’m leaning against his shoulder in a slight doze, not thinking really. But, I can tell that Matt wants to talk. He’s on edge, restless and keeps glancing at me.

“Val,” he says, voice husky. I blink a little, acknowledging him; his brow furrows. “You haven’t said much since we got back from the Guild. You okay?”

I blink some more then avert my gaze, not quite sure how to answer. His fingertips touch my chin, turning me back to him. I lick my lips then try for a smile. He frowns more.

“You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you, don’t you?”

I chew at the inside of my cheek, nodding. “Yes…”

“You don’t sound so convinced of that.”

I shake my head. “No. I know that. Nothing’s bothering me.”

Matt lifts an eyebrow. “We both know that’s not true.”

I sigh, snuggling closer to him. “You won’t let anything else happen.” He brings an arm around my shoulders, squeezing gently. I relax into him, closing my eyes. It feels good to just sit here. But, I know he’s not going to let it go as he speaks again.

“Valary. You need to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

I peek up at him; his face is close and I can see the flecks of colour in the irises of his eyes. His gaze draws something from me that I can’t explain; wetness touches the corners of my eyes as tears start to well. I wipe at them, shaking my head.

Matt cups my chin in his hand, stroking his thumb along my bottom lip, not saying anything this time. I swallow a little, lowering my gaze as I mumble something unintelligible.

“Come again?” Matt’s murmur finally gets to me.

“I haven’t been sleeping…I can’t sleep.” I don’t look up even as he’s insisting I lift my chin.

“No?” Matt drops his hand; I peek up at him. “Worried?”

I bite at the inside of my cheek, giving a little nod. He sighs, tilting his head back and cursing silently, lips moving in exasperation.

“Val.” My name on his lips always makes me smile, most of the time. This time I just look down again. He shifts next to me. “I know I keep asking you this, but you do trust me, right?”

I laugh softly, shaking my head. “From the beginning, Matt. Since the first day…” I lean into him more. His fingers brush through my hair as I close my eyes and continue to murmur. “You’ve proven more worthy of my trust every day; it’s hard to believe that this is my life.”

He sighs. “Then you realise you don’t have to worry.” He gives a rough laugh. “You know, Brian reckoned if murder were legal…”

I blink, catching the wry note in his voice, glancing up to see if he’s serious. “He said what?” Matt’s dimples show then and I sense he’s teasing. But, I repeat my question.

Matt laughs this time giving full voice to it, deep, guttural. “We won’t take matters into our own hands. JD and Robert said they’ll take it all up with the authorities.” The edge to his voice tells me he doesn’t really like that idea, but I guess even he has to put his trust in people sometimes. And those two have been a surprise, but I’ve mentioned that already.

I decide to change the subject. “Will you guys go back to recording the album?”

Matt shakes his head, leaning back and staring up at the sky. “Not until this all blows over. You’re my priority right now.” He looks at me hard. “The music? That’s not going anywhere. I need to make sure you stick around permanently too.”

I blush so hard at his words. I don’t even know why. But, hearing him say that? I think that just made the moment.

Notes