The Aviators

I don’t think I’ve ever been drunk before. Don’t think I ever want to be drunk ever again. It’s messy. Considering the mess on the floor in front of me…

“Val…breathe…” Matthew’s beside me, on his knees, holding my hair out of my face. My knight in shining…yeah…not really.

I groan as more of my dinner ends up on the floor. He just continues to rub my back in slow circles with his big palm. Moaning, I lean into him as I try not to get any on his clothes. He doesn’t even flinch, just holds me and murmurs low to me, soothing.

Rewind several hours earlier to the best night I’ve ever had in my twenty something years of life… And, that’s not even an overstatement. Michelle did well. The girls did well. I probably shouldn’t have had so many drinks, though, especially since I’m not used to it. And, I’m not sure how, but at some stage, Matt and I ended up in the tree outside the front of the house. I must’ve gone a bit crazy…

And now, here we both are in the bathroom by the toilet. Most of the contents of my stomach ended up on the highly polished tiles though. The contrast is stark. And just the sight makes me head spin.

“Happy birthday to me…Matt and me sitting in a tree…” I laugh into his chest then groan some more. Matt snorts as he keeps rubbing my back.

“Hey, is she okay?”

I peek around Matt to see my sister leaning in the bathroom doorway. Matt turns to her.

“Oh, hey…didn’t realise you were still here.”

Michelle shrugs. “Someone’s gotta do the clean-up.”

Matt nods, then looks at me. “You okay?” I smile and murmur in the affirmative, though my head protests in disagreement. He smiles, a knowing glint in his eye and looks back at my twin. “She’s okay.” Lying for me, how chivalrous.

“Good. Good…” She hesitates, though. I shift so I’m facing her more directly. She meets my eyes, head tilted. “Val?”

I stretch and wriggle out of Matt’s arms, pushing myself up off the floor. She watches me as if she’s worried I’ll fall down, or something. But, I stay steady and brush my hands against the skirt I’m wearing. Guess it helps I’m wearing flats and not heels. And, that I’m pretty good at holding myself together.

“You going to tell me how we ended up in the tree?” The first words out of my mouth. Come on, I want to know. I’m not meant to be the crazy one. That’s Jimmy’s forte. Michelle shakes her head, smiling.

“You were so drunk, sis.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “Matt had to go after you to make sure you didn’t fall out.” I blink; her expression softens. “You two…” She uncrosses her arms and looks back over her shoulder. “Mom was worried about you…”

I bite my lip.

Matt frowns. “They still here?”

Michelle glances at him. “Problem with that?”

“No. Just wondering.” His lips twitch slightly as if he’s trying to hold back his true thoughts.

I roll my eyes and mutter, “Yeah, right. You still resent what they did last time.”

Meanwhile, I’m over it. They more than made up for it tonight. The awkwardness is still there, but our brother, Michael, spent quite a bit of time talking to me, and explaining how they all felt. When I was abandoned…Mom was at her wits end and life was just piling shit on her and Dad…and having seven children was a huge strain on them. They all missed me, terribly…my brothers and twin.

It still saddens me, and it’s obvious Matt still hasn’t forgiven them…and that’s his right, I guess.

“Val, they abandoned you.”

I give him a look that I know normally he would rebuke me for, but this time he just shakes his head and stands, holding his hand out to me.

“Come on. We should get to bed.”

I take his proffered hand, allowing him to lead me out into the hallway. His support is much appreciated. Though the thought of bed makes me somewhat uneasy. I don’t know why, but the whole party thing has brought a lot of clarity to my situation – the whole slave thing – and makes me almost nervous to go to bed with him. Which is stupid, considering…

“Val?” Matt is looking at me curiously. Must’ve spaced out on him.

“Yeah?”

“You getting in bed with those on?”

I look down at my soiled clothing and laugh slightly. “No.”

He smiles and motions for me to lift my arms. Obeying, I let him undress me, trying not to let my thoughts consume me. We still haven’t…done anything. And, I swear he’s been dealing with it a lot more than before. He’s always very controlled with me. But, there’s always a glint in his eye when he’s watching me. But, I feel he won’t push me…

“Here.” I blink and realise he’s holding out one of his old tees. I slip it on wordlessly then slip beneath the covers and look up at him. He smiles, brushing his fingers lightly over my cheek. “I’ve a few things to take care of. Sleep, okay?”

I nod, already feeling exhausted. He smiles more and I as I start to drift off I vaguely notice as he lifts my journal from the night stand and walks out with it…

* * * * *

I wake late. Sunlight filters beneath the curtain into the room. Matt never came to bed. His spot next to me is cold.

Slipping out of bed, I make my way out into the hallway in just his too large tee. The soft sound of conversation filters down from the kitchen. I head in that direction and pause outside the door to listen. There are two voices. One is Matt’s, the other is one that surprises me…

“I know you’re angry with us, Matt, but you have to try and understand our situation.” My mother’s voice. Sad, regretful. The emotion is sincere, I can tell… Leaning my head against the wall, I keep listening.

Matt’s voice, hard, cold. “Do you even know what she’s been through? If Giovanni hadn’t come to me she could’ve been with anyone. She could be dead.” I shiver at his words. Truth can be terrifying. But, hearing him say the words. It makes me think of my early days as a slave…

I squeeze my eyes shut and slide down on the floor, hugging my knees. Maybe that’s why he took my journal…my last entry was a very detailed account of when I first became a slave. He had asked me about it, and I told him I couldn’t talk of it… but then I wrote it down.

My mother’s voice again. “I am grateful-”

“Grateful?” Matt’s voice tightens, fury evident. “You should neverhave abandoned her.”

“Did you think we had a choice, Matthew?”

Matthew is practically growling now, “Everyone has a choice, Maria.” A pause, then, “Jimmy’s parents would’ve taken her in.” I blink at that statement. That would mean Jimmy has known my sister longer than I thought.

A sigh, my mother’s. “It’s not that simple. We had a huge debt to pay off.” Silence after that. Shifting of chairs then my mother again. “We couldn’t afford the cost of so many children…”

I swallow hard, realising the implications of my mother’s confession. Matt obviously does as well. When he replies his tone is glacial.

“You sold her. To pay off your debts.”

I don’t think I want to hear any more of this. But, I can’t force myself to confront them, and so I continue to listen.

“You make it sound so horrible.”

Which of course it is. I mean, Michael saying they missed me…that is true…but it doesn’t excuse what was done to me.

Matt snorts, his disgust clear. “It’s fucking disgraceful. She went through all that shit because of money.”

“Matthew…”

“No.” Matt’s tone has taken on a deadly edge. “You need to leave, now.”

I tremble, waiting for my mother’s response. Part of me prays she just agrees, because that would make it easier. But, another part wants her to stay…I miss my mom…

“Can I at least see her?”

A heartbeat.

“No. I need to talk to her.” Matt is angry. I just hope he doesn’t try to talk to me while he’s still furious. There is silence for a moment then movement as I can hear a bag being picked up and a chair being scraped back on the floor.

“Will you let her choose…?” The hope in my mother’s voice almost breaks my heart. Almost…

Matt says, firmly, repeating himself, “You need to leave.” Not answering her question. But, that doesn’t surprise me. It’s the in control male part of him. And the fact that he’s protective of me. Something inside me warms at that.

“Well, you have my number…”

Matt doesn’t respond to that. And then my mother appears in the doorway. She freezes when she realises I’ve been sitting out here the whole time. I look at her blankly. She opens and closes her mouth; if this had been some other time her expression might have been amusing…

Matt appears behind her, notices me and clears his throat roughly.

“Maria.”

She nods and leaves without a word to me, which smarts somewhat. But, I don’t make any effort to call after her, instead turning my focus to Matt. He is glaring after my mother, stare filled with unfathomable rage. I get up and approach him cautiously.

“Sir?” I find addressing him in this way calms him a whole lot quicker than any other way. He shifts his gaze to my face.

“You heard all that?” His tone is guarded. I simply nod. He sighs, a weary sound, rubbing at his face. “Fuck…what a mess.”

I shake my head and move to hug him. He winds his arms around my waist and sighs again. There isn’t really anything that can be said, and I just want to be held now. He squeezes me gently, then still holding me, steers us back into the kitchen. I notice the skillet sitting on the bench, an open bottle of pancake mix next to it. Evidently my mother interrupted his breakfast plans.

Matt sees where my gaze has landed and the corners of his mouth twitch upwards in a wry smile.

“You hungry?”

I think for a moment, just as my stomach growls. Kind of surprising that I still have any appetite after what I just witnessed. But, can’t argue with my needs now can I?

Nodding, I sit at the kitchen counter. Matt smiles, still with an edge, but I guess the familiarity of morning routine is a remedy of sorts. He turns to the stove and turns it on. I rest my chin on my arms and observe him in silence, feeling myself settle. He glances once at me, before grabbing the skillet and pouring some mix into it.

Then he twirls slightly, with a grin and says, chuckling, “Prepare to be dazzled.”

With that one phrase, the mood lifts, and I feel it’s going to be alright.

At least for a little while.

Notes