The Aviators

Confusion. That’s the state of my mind right now. Of course the stark white walls of the room I’m trapped in, doesn’t help matters. It’s like a blank canvas allowing my thoughts to run rampant across it. I’ve no idea where I am – save that I’m at The Guild – what’s going to happen to me, and when or if I’ll see anyone else, other than Robert and that other man who was with him when he grabbed me.

Robert gave no indication, either, which scares me. He just shoved me in this room and left, without saying a word. My mind is running wild with possible scenarios. I know that isn’t helpful and will most likely just end up depressing me, but I can’t do anything else right now. Short of praying, and I’m not a prayerful person, all I can do is just sit tight and…

Wait… I shift on the bed and slip my hand in the back pocket of my jeans. My fingers touch the plastic casing of my small voice recorder. Blinking, I pull it out and stare at it. I can’t even remember sticking that in my pocket. After Matt so thoroughly reprimanded me for wasting my time with it, I barely touched it.

Closing my fingers around the solid object, I grip it firmly for a moment then I flick absently at the buttons. Glancing down at the screen I notice that the battery is full and smile a little at the random thought that pops into my mind. At least this isn’t some cliché movie scene where the hero or heroine realises there’s only moments left to record a message…

I shake my head as I lay back on the bed and hit the play button, expecting to just hear my own voice as I’m the only person to actually use it. For a couple of minutes, though there’s a bit of static and then the gruff sound of a throat being cleared, before a husky, familiar voice issues from the tiny speaker.

“This is weird…it’s just like talking to yourself…wonder why you bother with this…anyway…hi…thought I’d leave a message here for you. Just found this on the bedside table with your journal.”

Blinking, I look at the recorder.

“No way,” I murmur.

Matt must’ve picked my recorder up again at some later stage. Maybe he put it back in my jeans pocket for some reason. First my journal, now this… I wonder what he had to say. I turn down the volume, shifting into a comfortable position while bringing the speaker to my ear so I can listen to his voice.

Tears prickle at the corners of my eyes, and my breath catches in the back of my throat as his voice washes over me, speaking words of encouragement, tenderness and all those things that I love about him. Shit, I don’t want to seem so dependent on him, but he’s my master and the only one who’s ever given a shit about me. I mean, he loves me…I love him, that’s got to be the ultimate level of emotion anyone can reach. Forget all the Master slave stuff, everything that’s been going on the past few…days is what really matters.

Moaning, I rub at my face and set the player down next to me, leaving it on loop so I can hear his voice. My mind drifts as his rough tones alight on my ears and I think about what he might be doing right now. Routine things, because I can’t cope with the truth of what’s happening to me…

“Valary.”

I jump, torn rudely from my reverie, eyes slewing across to the door. Robert is leaning against the frame a frown marring his features. Swallowing nervously, I quickly shut the player off and slip it back into my pocket.

“Um…hi…” My voice is cracking a little. Can you blame me, though? I’m anxious as all heck, and everything seems to be falling apart around me. I mean, this wasn’t meant to happen. And we were so careful…then again that radio show…

Robert folds his arms, eyes narrowing on me. “JD called. Says he was at,” he pauses, glancing back over his shoulder before returning his gaze to mine, continuing, “Brian’s place.”

I blink a twinge of hope causing my heart rate to increase. I don’t dare respond, though, not wanting to jinx the situation. Robert continues to glare at me as he pushes away from the doorway and approaches me. Tracking him warily, I hold still on the bed, waiting.

He sighs, sitting on the end of the bed the mattress creaking as he does so. Tilting my head I observe as many different expressions pass across his face.

“Sir?”

Robert rakes tense fingers through his hair, shaking his head. “I can’t tell you much, Valary…but you won’t be here long.” He looks at me the corners of his mouth twitching into a tight smile.

There’s not much I can say to that statement, so I just continue to look at him.

He rubs at his face before going on. “You’ll just have to sit tight for a bit. The Guild still has no idea what’s really going on here.”

“Huh?”

Robert rolled his eyes, “They don’t know about me and JD…”

I’m not sure what he means by that, but can’t find the nerve to ask him so I nod before looking down at my hands. Clasping them in my lap, I continue to wait trying not to think too much about what might or might not occur in the near future. Or on my feelings. I especially don’t want to start crying in front of Robert… I’m stronger than that. At least, I like to think I am.

Robert, sighing again, says in a low voice, “I’m sorry I knocked you out…you were going to hurt yourself.”

I peer up at him, sucking at the inside of my cheek. But, I give a slight shake of my head; I don’t blame him for doing that. I did thrash around quite a bit when he and his colleague grabbed me. Lowering my eyes again and pressing my hands between my thighs I just sit there in silence. Really want him to leave me alone again. But, it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen any time soon.

Robert shifts on the large bed, sprawling out along the left side. It’s a full-size Queen bed so even with his big body spread out I am able to avoid any contact with him. He turns his head to look at me a small frown creasing his brow.

“Tell me something, Valary.”

I nod hesitantly, “Yes, sir?”

“You really love him, don’t you?” Robert’s voice is low, no hint of any emotion there. I pause, wondering whether it’s safe to respond. He smiles faintly and says, as if reading my mind, “I’m not gonna tell anyone. Just colour me curious.”

My cheeks flush and I tuck my chin down against my chest. Admitting my feelings for Matt isn’t something I really want to do in front of this man. I can’t trust him. The short history between us suggests that it’s not a good idea. Even so, he can probably tell by my reaction how I feel. It’s not like I’m going to deny it.

Robert chuckles softly. “Stupid question, hey? Well, don’t worry. I’m not gonna blab.” He yawns; I hear his jaw crack. “I’d better go. JD might contact me.” I glance at him; his lips curve into a smile that’s almost sincere. “Better yet, maybe Matt will call.”

Closing my eyes, unable to meet his gaze, I give a slight nod, mumbling, “Maybe…”

Robert pats the mattress then gets off, the bed bouncing slightly as he does. I keep my eyes shut, trembling a little. There’s silence for a moment then Robert speaks again.

“I’ll be back, ‘kay? Just…” he pauses, then finishes in a firm tone, “Trust me, ‘kay?”

I don’t respond; there’s nothing I can say to that, and I know I don’t know him well enough to believe what he says. I hear him sigh and then the sound of his footsteps as he leaves the room. The door click shuts behind him and I’m alone again. Alone and no less confused than I was earlier. Guess all I can do is sit here and wait.

And maybe listen to Matt’s voice some more. Lying back on the bed again, I retrieve my audio recorder and switch it onto playback once more. Then, closing my eyes, I listen, allowing a tiny smile to play over my lips as I settle into a light doze.

Notes